Know who you are
by imamultifangirl
Summary: Abigail and her brothers have seen a lot of things. Even Hell. But what they haven't seen before is angels. Angels who rescue her and her brother Dean from Hell. As the angels are getting more involved in her life, strange things begin to happen to Abigail. But why? That's a very good question
1. Castiel

"Are you sure you did the right thing, Bobby?" I asked while sitting down on the cold hard ground, simply not having a clue what to do.

Bobby looked at me offended while Dean began to smirk, much to my own annoyance.

"Okay, sorry. You can't be that sensitive", I replied to his glare and held up my hands in defense.

From out of nowhere, the wind began to roar outside, more than it should be. And since we had just used a summoning spell to get to know this Castiel, I was quite sure that it really was him. Along with the fact that the ceiling basically blew off as we rose.

"Wishful thinking, but maybe it's just the wind", Dean stated.

"You really think so, brother?" I wondered when all the lamps exploded.

The door opened and revealed a handsome man in his early thirties, dressed in a white shirt, blue loose tie, suit and a beige trench coat.

I picked up Ruby's knife and held it in waist level while Castiel creature walked over all the traps like they just were mere drawings.

He seemed unbothered by the sparks from the lamps and didn't even react when Dean and Bobby shot him, a number of times.

When Castiel came closer, I squeezed the knife harder in my hand as I readied myself to stab the thing.

"Who are you?" I demanded sternly.

"I'm the one who gripped you and your brother tight and raised you from perdition", he said with a deep gravelly voice.

"Thanks", I said sarcastically before I drove the knife into his chest.

But the strange thing was that he didn't begin to glow which he should've if he had been a demon, he didn't even show pain. Castiel just stared at me before he pulled it out and dropped it on the floor.

Even when Bobby tried to attack, the man just touched his forehead and made him sleep. Or was he dead? He couldn't be dead, I would beat up that asshole's ass then.

"We need to talk, Dean and Abigail", he told us.

"Alone", he added when I glared at him after glancing at Bobby.

I kneeled and tried to find some pulse in Bobby. When I almost panicked when I didn't find it at first, Castiel began to speak.

"Your friend's alive", he reassured while watching my moves, like I was an interesting animal he hadn't seen before.

"And who the hell are you?" I questioned.

"Castiel."

"I figured out that much, thank you very much", I snapped.

"What are you?" Dean demanded and had his eyes locked on Castiel, as if he would attack us any time.

"I'm an angel of the Lord", Castiel replied.

I raised my eyebrow and rose.

"Impossible", I said with widened eyes and touched my necklace.

It was a pair of silver wings wrapped around themselves as a heart. A gift from Dean and (kind of) Sam when I had been a baby. Worn it ever since.

"There's no such things", Dean stated and narrowed his eyes.

Castiel watched us with a slightly amused expression, as if he found us foolish.

"This is your problem, you have no faith", he said calmly before the lighting struck and revealed Castiel's shadow.

But the thing with his shadow was that he had wings. Humans didn't have wings,

neither did demons. And I had never seen a monster this powerful with wings, if I ever had seen a monster with wings.

"Beautiful", I whispered for myself, because they were beautiful, even if it only was the mere shadow of them.

"Such an angel you are", Dean growled when the lighting was gone.

"You burned out that poor woman's eyes."

Castiel looked down with a slight hint of shame.

"I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be…overwhelming to humans. So can my real voice, but you already knew that", he said before I remembered when that loud noise had dug into my ears like needles at the station.

But sometimes, it had sounded like whispering. A whispering of a language I recognized but couldn't understand, like Swedish. Seriously, you could really hear if it was Swedish. Their accent when they spoke English… Kind of funny.

"The gas station and the motel? That was you?" I wondered.

He nodded.

"Buddy, next time, lowering the volume", Dean said while I let out a badly covered laugh that was supposed to sound like a cough.

"It was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you two would be two of them. I was wrong", he said.

"And what visage are you now? The holy tax accountant?" I questioned.

"This? This is a vessel", Castiel said and touched his coat.

A really good-looking vessel, I thought and pushed away the thought quickly.

"You're possessing some poor bastard?" Dean accused.

"He's a devout man. He actually asked for this", Castiel said with no emotion staining his voice.

"But why would an angel drag us out of Hell?" I wondered.

Castiel came closer and didn't seem to understand the word 'personal space'.

"Good things happen, Abigail", he said and looked down at me.

"Not what I know about", I stated.

Castiel tilted his head slightly and looked at me like he was trying to study me. Or pitying me.

"What's the matter? You don't believe that you deserve to be saved", he said with a small trace of softness in his voice.

"Why? Why did you do it?" I asked with a slightly trembling voice.

Those eyes.. They were so freaking blue! Why did he have to choose a man with those beautiful blue eyes?

"Because God commanded it", he said after a while.

"Because we have work for you."


	2. Lucifer

" Well, tell me what else it could've been," my older twin brother Sam said the day after.

" Look, all I know is that we weren't groped by an angel," Dean stated.

" It looked like an angel, Dean. Remember those big wings on his shadow?" I asked and recalled them, beautiful.

" You're just saying that because you were drooling over his 'pretty blue eyes' and his 'beautiful wings'" Dean said and rolled his eyes.

" I-I did _not_!" I protested and tried to stop myself from turning red.

" Oh yes, you did. You talk when you sleep, you know," Dean said and smirked.

I threw a paper ball at him and stuck out my tongue.

" You make me sound like a teenager with a celebrity crush," I muttered.

Dean grinned and looked like he had intended it from the beginning. Asshole.

" Okay, Dean. Why do you think this Castiel would lie to you about it?" Sam said and tried to stop me from throwing another paper ball.

" Maybe he's some kind of demon. Demons lie," Dean said, still in denial.

" A demon who's immune to salt rounds, devil's trap and of course, Ruby's knife. Yeah, that's definitely a demon," I replied and rolled my eyes.

" Dean, Lilith's scared of that thing!" Sam exclaimed.

" Don't you think that if angels were real, some hunter somewhere would have seen one, at some point..ever?" Dean asked.

" Yeah, we just did," I stated.

" I'm trying to come up with a theory here. Okay? Work with me."

" We already have a theory," I replied.

" Yeah, one with little less fairy dust on it, please," Dean responded.

I let out a low whistle.

" Wow, you really are in denial. And I only thought that happened when someone broke up with you or something, but never this," I told.

" Okay, okay. That's the point. We don't know for sure, so I'm gonna believe this thing is a freaking angel of the Lord just because it says so!" Dean almost yelled at us.

" You three chuckleheads want to keep arguing religion, or do want to take a look at this?" Bobby said.

I sighed but went to the desk with Sam and Dean.

" I got stacks of lore, biblical, pre biblical. Some of it is in damn cuneiform. It all says an angel can snatch a soul from the pit."

" What else?" Dean asked.

I frowned.

" What else what?"

" What else could do it?"

" Airlift you asses out of the hot box? As far as I can tell, nothing," Bobby said.

I turned to Dean and looked at him smugly.

" Told ya," I said.

" Dean, this is good news," Sam said encouragingly.

" Why?"

" Because for once, this isn't just another round of demon crap. I mean, maybe you two were saved by one of the good guys, you know?" Sam said hopefully.

" Okay, say it's true. Say there are angels. Then what? There's a god?" Dean questioned.

I shrugged.

" At this point, Vegas money's on yeah," Bobby said.

" I don't know guys," Dean started and started to walk away.

" Dean, I know you're not the type who comes to pray at church every Sunday, but think about it. We have seen pagans all over the country from different religions. Then why wouldn't the Guy upstairs exist then?" I said.

" This is more about proof than faith now, Dean," Sam said.

" Proof? Proof that there's a god out there that actually gives a crap about me and Abigail, personally? No offense," Dean added and looked at me apologetically.

" None taken," I muttered.

" I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it," Dean exclaimed.

" Why not?" Sam asked.

" Because, why me? If there's a god out there, why would he give a crap about _me_?"

" Dean…"

I watched him talk about reasons why he didn't deserve to be saved by God and all that.

" I'm just a regular guy—" Dean said until I interrupted him.

" And I'm just a regular girl, Dean. You seem to forget that I also was in Hell. Don't you think I wonder why I was saved? I'm not a saint, none of us are. But if the Big Guy wanted us out of the Pit, he wants us to do something probably," I said.

They all stared at me for a long awkward minute.

" I'm going out," I said for some reason and went out to sit on the Impala.

But why did he save us? We're just humans, nothing special. He could have saved some other souls that had sold themselves to Lilith, why us? I really wished I knew… Maybe he knew…

Suddenly, I could hear the sound of wings behind me. I turned suspiciously but found Castiel stand beside the car.

" Castiel?" I said.

He looked at me without any trace of emotion before started to talk.

" You called for me," he said.

" No, I called for pizza," I said and noticed the confused look on his face.

" No, you called for answers," he said.

Angels really didn't understand sarcasm, I thought slightly amused.

" Why did you save us?"

Castiel looked at me like I was out of my mind.

" The Lord wanted us—"

" But why _us_?"

Castiel looked at me with a grim expression. I was 100% sure that it wasn't a good idea to piss off the angel, especially since I knew that he probably could cast me down in Hell again. Or Dean…

" I don't question the Lord's orders," he answered.

I first wanted to insult the Guy but then realized, it was quite pointless.

" Well, thanks for the answers," I muttered instead.

" You're welcome," he said and disappeared.

I sighed annoyed before I went inside again, only to get dragged into a case that involved vengeful spirits and a lot of dead hunters.

* * *

" Okay, is it just me or do I deserve to sleep now after all this?" I said exhausted after Bobby sent back the ghosts.

Dean smirked and threw a pillow to me.

" Thanks," I said cheerfully and fell down in the couch.

What felt like two-seconds, I could hear the sound of wings in the night. I opened my eyes and rose to see Castiel leaning against the counter while watching Dean and me. Dean seemed to notice him too and slowly went to him with me. Castiel looked at me apologetically like it was his fault that the Witnesses had attacked us.

" Excellent job with the Witnesses," Castiel said when we were a few feet from him.

" You were hip to this?" Dean asked.

" I was made aware," he said.

Of course he knows, he's a freaking angel, I thought.

" Well, thanks for the angelic assistance. You know, I almost got my heart ripped out of my chest," Dean growled with acid spiking his voice.

" But you didn't," Castiel said like Dean almost scored zero on a test in school.

" I thought angels were supposed to be guardians. Fluffy wings? Halos? Michael Landon, not dicks that don't help people who almost get their head chopped off," I stated annoyed.

Castiel smirked slightly amused at me before he replied to my insult.

" Read the Bible. Angels are warriors of God. I'm a soldier," he told.

" If you're a soldier, then why don't you fight?" Dean wondered.

Castiel looked at Dean annoyed before he looked at me like:

'Can't you control him?'

I shrugged slightly, what else could I do? Start a whole conversation why I couldn't help what my oldest brother spat out.

" I am not here to perch on your shoulder. We had larger concerns," he said.

" Look, I'm not saying that you are supposed to look after us 24/7, but people died here! Why can't your boss do something?" I asked.

" Does he even exist?" Dean added.

Castiel looked at me with a hint of guilt before he actually answered on his question.

" There's a God," he said.

" Well, I'm not convinced. What do you think, little sister? Cause if there's a God, what the hell is he waiting for, huh? Genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The freaking Apocalypse? At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards who are struck down here?"

" The Lord works—" Castiel started before I interrupted.

" If you say in a mysterious way, I'll kick your feathery ass. We already had this conversation, sort of," I said.

Dean looked at me questionably, but I simply waved it away.

" Later," I said to him while Castiel tilted his head slightly and raised his hands in defeat.

Ah Winchesters, I thought amused. We are sometimes a pain in the ass.

" So, Bobby was right? About the Witnesses?" Dean questioned while I started to move closer toward Castiel.

" It's some sign about the Apocalypse, right, Cas? I'll call you Cas now, since it takes quite long to say Castiel," I said.

" It took longer for you to say why you called him Cas then saying Castiel," Dean said and smirked.

" Oh shut up."

Cas was silent while Dean and I discussed his name until we were quiet again.

" That's why we're here. Big things afoot," he said.

" Do we want to know?" I asked.

" I sincerely doubt it, but you need to know. The Rising of the Witnesses is one of the 66 seals," Cas said.

Dean glanced at me before he replied to what Cas had said to us.

" Okay, I'm guessing that's not a show at Sea World", he joked.

" Those seals are being broken. By Lilith", Cas continued.

Just hearing the sound of her name made me want to stab or punch something. I hated that bitch, ever since we got to know that the Crossroad demon Dean had been bargaining with hadn't mentioned an extra soul as payment, me.

And becoming a chewing toy to some hellhound wasn't funny and I preferred to me whole and not in shreds.

" She did the spell, didn't she? She rose them, those souls", I growled and directed my anger at her.

Cas nodded.

" And not just here. Twenty other hunters are found dead", he said.

" Of course she did. She chose the ones that hunters couldn't save so they would go right after them. Such an irony", I muttered.

" Lilith has a certain sense of humor", Cas agreed.

" But we did put them back to rest. That's good, right?" I continued hopefully.

" It doesn't matter. The seal was still broken", Cas said and looked at me to say that it wasn't my fault.

" But why break them?" I asked and stared into his eyes.

A chill went up my spine, it was something with Cas, something that I hoped was positive.

Cas sighed slightly before he looked at both Dean and me.

" You think of the seals as locks on the door."

" Okay. Last one opens and?…" Dean asked.

Cas looked at us seriously before he pushed himself away from the counter and decreased the space between him and us.

" Lucifer walks free", he said.

As he said the name, something sparked in me, like a small spark of joy and sadness. But why those feelings? And why that spark at all?

" Lucifer? Like _the_ Lucifer? The Morning Star and all that? Like 'How art thou fallen from Heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! _How_ art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!'? That Lucifer? And I have actually read the Bible", I added.

Cas looked at me slightly impressed before he answered my question.

" Yes, I am talking about the Morning Star", he said gravelly.

" But he's just a a story told at demon Sunday school. There's no such thing", Dean protested.

" Three days ago, you two thought there was no such thing as me", Cas reminded.

I leaned toward Dean slightly and tried to reach his ear. Stupid Dad's genes with my brothers being giants.

" He's got a point there", I agreed.

Dean ignored what I said and instead looked quite baffled.

" Why do you thing we're here, walking among you now for the first time in two thousand years?" Cas asked.

" To stop him. To stop Lucifer", I answered quietly and could feel another chill down my spine.

But this one wasn't because of some spark, this one was because of fear and anxiousness, which I could understand, unlike the spark.

Yellow Eyes had taken twenty-four years to kill, and he had kind of been the general only, if I could say 'only'.

But Lucifer, the Devil himself, it would take years to kill him, if that was even possible. So if I could choose, I would prefer Lucie to stay where he was.

" That's why we've arrived", Cas confirmed and nodded.

And why can't they have done something with that seal, if their seals are so important? I asked myself.

Unfortunately, Dean seemed to have decided to speak that question out loud. Cas had been slightly pissed at me for asking why the Guy upstairs had ordered us to be saved. Insulting Heaven directly would defiantly not make him happier.

" Well, bang up the job so far. Stellar work with the Witnesses. It's nice", he muttered.

Even if angels probably didn't show much emotion what I had learned, a flick of fury or just anger passed the angel's face.

" We tried. There are other battles, some we'll win, some we'll lose. This time we lost", he said with an almost emotionless voice.

Dean let out a small laugh, which I stomped his foot for, before I gave him a warningly look. That guy could cast him down in Hell again, I was sure of it.

Cas took another step closer so it was almost less than a foot with space.

" Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers and sister died on a field this week. You think the armies of Heaven should follow you around", he said with a voice that almost started to freak me out slightly.

" There's a bigger picture here. You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in", he said warningly.

I took slightly a step in front of Dean while looking at him with a threatening light in my eyes. If he would cast him down there again, he'd have to go through me first.

The angel looked at us one last time before he vanished and we woke up.


	3. Nightmare

_"Ready to accept?" Alistair asked while I was a bloody mess, almost literally._

 _My stomach was torn up, so my organs, insides, everything was goo. I couldn't see anything, it was just a dark nothing, not strange at all, since they had turned my eyeballs into jelly._

 _The air with the smell of blood, salty and copper was thick and felt like water in my throat._

 _It all was too much, this was worse than any pain I ever felt before this. And all I wanted was it to end. Thirty years, almost thirty years I had been here. One of the worst things was also that I sometimes could hear my brother scream somewhere. But I didn't want to torture, I still wanted to be human._

 _My eyes (eyelids) narrowed before I said the answer I had said the last years in Hell._

 _"You can take your offer, and shove it right up in your ass", I growled._

 _I could hear Alistair chuckle slightly._

 _"Very well, but you will regret it. I'll see you tomorrow."_

* * *

"Hello Dean", I could hear a voice say above me.

I opened my eyes to see Cas sitting on the bed, on my leg.

He really didn't know about personal space.

"What were you dreaming of?" he asked him.

"Puppies and rainbows, probably. Hello, Cas. You're sitting on me", I stated and rubbed my eyes.

Cas looked down on me slightly surprised expression.

"My apologies", he excused before he moved from my leg quickly and awkwardly.

"What? Do you get your freak on by watching other people sleep? What do you want?" Dean wondered annoyed.

"Listen to me. You have to stop it", he told gravely.

"Stop what?" I asked.

Cas didn't answer. Instead, he touched Dean's forehead with his fingers, and Dean vanished. I let out a small cry of surprise.

"What the hell did you do?" I exclaimed alarmed as Cas rose.

"I sent him back", he simply replied.

I raised my eyebrow confused. And what did he mean with 'back'? Some explanation, perhaps?

"Back? Where?"

"1973."

I flew up from the bed (I ignored the fact that I only wore a tank top and no pants) and stared at Cas horrified. I could swear on that Cas sometimes glanced down on second base. That just made me… a bit uncomfortable.

"And he's supposed to do what there?" I demanded.

"Learn the past", Cas answered.

I stared at him weirdly before I opened my mouth.

"And that means…?"

Cas looked at me before he disappeared.

Annoyed and worried, I wanted to be awake when Dean came back.

But I was so tired, my eyelids almost dropped, which they did unfortunately.

 _Blood. Screams. Pain. Agony. Over and over again. Why couldn't it stop? Why didn't it end? I wanted to die again, I would do anything for that. Except the fact that I already was dead._

 _Why couldn't they feel some sympathy for me? Couldn't they hear my screams, see my tears, hearing me beg for mercy._

 _I tried to struggle, anything to avoid the small sharp blade that was heading for my forehead. And when it did touch my skin, my head exploded, it felt like it was splitting in two._

 _An inhuman howl tore itself out from my throat and made me feel the taste of blood on my tongue. If I just couldn't feel anything, then all this would have been much more better._

 _Someone forcefully opened my eye before a needle stabbed it and started to twist. I screamed as warm thick blood ran down my face and made the hair damp and sticky against my temples._

 _Make it stop, make it STOP!_

I woke up hyperventilating, searching for something that wasn't blood, wasn't pain. I cried out over and over again. I could still feel the sensation of burning skin getting ripped off everywhere on my body, acid burning in my eyes.

"Abigail!" a voice yelled loudly.

I couldn't figure out who that was, it was like I was blind again. The only thing I could see was my body torn and bloody, the sharp metal of a scalpel, Alistair laughing.

I could now feel the sensation of warm and whole skin pressed on my hand, not agony. This skin was real, not blood, not Alistair, _this_.

The darkness from Hell started to fade, I could now see the motel room. I shut my eyes hard, before I opened them and found Cas sit on the bed with messy hair and a worried look.

"Abigail, are you okay?" he asked gently.

I nodded slowly and noticed a long and deep scratch in his face, from the corner of his right eye and ended under the left cheekbone. It had already started to heal, but still. I was quite sure that it had been my fault.

"I… Your face", I said lowly with guilt gnawing in my gut.

"It's okay. Angels heal fast", he told and gently stroke away my hair.

"I saw… I saw.." I whispered before my voice faded over and over again.

I took a very deep breath before I tried to talk again.

"I saw Hell again."

Cas' eyes were locked on mine, full of concern. I had seen those eyes be filled with anger from yesterday, but not concern. And definitely not hearing him almost shout.

I didn't know why I told him this, I barely knew him. But somehow, something with him made me trust him.

"I believe that you have post traumatic stress disorder. It happens to a human when something traumatic happens in her life", he explained and tilted his head slightly.

"I'm quite sure Hell counts as a traumatic experience", I muttered.

"It does."

Once again, angels didn't understand sarcasm.

Suddenly, Dean popped into existence while looking a bit sad. He then seemed to think about other things since he was staring at us.

"What are you doing with my sister?" he demanded alarmed.

"It's okay, Dean. I had a problem and Cas helped me with it", I told and touched my temples.

Dean looked at me one last time worried before he looked at Cas, who was now sitting beside me.

"I couldn't stop it. She still made the deal. She still died in nursery, didn't she?" he said.

I widened my eyes. He had seen Her?

"Do you mean Mom?"

Dean nodded and told me what he had seen.

How Mom had made the deal with Yellow Eyes to bring back Dad, the fact that Sam had demon blood inside him, which explained why he had seen visions.

"But why not me then?" I asked, almost whispering.

Dean shrugged.

"Dunno, perhaps he didn't have time."

Also he told me the reason why Dean was named Dean and Sam Sam. After that, he looked quite guilty.

"Don't be too hard to yourself. You couldn't stopped it", Cas said with the same tone he almost always used.

"What?" Dean said and rose.

"Destiny can't be changed", Cas continued and rose.

"All the roads lead to the same destiny."

"Then why did you send me back?" he almost whispered to him.

"For the truth. Now you know everything we do", he told.

"What do you mean?" I asked him and put on a pair of jeans.

Cas turned his head towards Sam's bed, which was empty. How could I have missed it? I felt like the biggest idiot of all time.

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head and said:

"I don't know."

"We know what Azazel did to your brother. But what we don't know is _why_. Or what his endgame is. He went to great lengths to cover that up", Cas answered.

I tried to swallow the big lump in my throat. What if something had happened to him?

"Where is he?" I demanded.

425 Waterman", he said.

I quickly grabbed my blue flannel shirt and put in over my tank top. Took my jacket, my gun, another gun, Ruby's knife, anything that I could need.

"Your brother is heading down a dangerous road and we are not sure where it leads. So stop it, or we will", he warned.

* * *

When we made it to where Cas had given us the direction, the first thing we saw was Sam pulling out a demon from its vessel, with his mind.

Sammy, you said you weren't doing this, I thought betrayed.

We watched him untie the empty vessel, while some girl was watching him satisfied. That is the same girl he had been sleeping with, I thought annoyed.

An act?

When Sam and the woman was about to get out the man from there, we opened the door and revealed ourselves.

"Want to explain what the hell is going on here?" Dean demanded.

"Dean, Abby, hold on, okay? Just let me—" Sam said desperately, before I interrupted.

"You're gonna say 'Let me explain'. How are you going to explain _this_?" I wondered and gestured with my hand.

" How about this? Why don't you start with who she is and what hell she is doing here?" Dean snapped.

Sam looked down before he turned his head towards the girl, who looked like she recognized us.

"Good to see you again, Dean, Abby", she told and smiled.

It was only my family who called me Abby. And also… no.. It couldn't be…

"Ruby? Is that Ruby?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded slightly.

Suddenly, my vision went red and I suddenly and raised the knife and slammed her into the wall, trying to stab her. That bitch, what the hell had she done with Sam?

"No!"

The moment I was about to gut and end Ruby's pathetic life, Sam grabbed me from behind and tried to drag me away from her. I kicked him away as Ruby grabbed me and pushed me into the wall with her hand around my throat. I tried to kick her, anything, but the bitch's grip just grew tighter.

"Ruby, stop", Sam ordered.

For a moment, I believed that she would kill me. But apparently, she listened and let go of me, her eyes filled with loathe. We had never liked each other, we didn't and would never do.

"Such an obedient bitch, huh?" I growled.

Ruby looked me in the eyes and I knew that she would kill me.

"Ruby", Sam pleaded.

"Ruby. He's hurt. Go."

She glared at me again before she backed off and helped up the man.

"And where do you think you're going?" I snapped and glared at her, which Dean also did.

"E.R, unless you want to go another round first", she told and left.

* * *

I looked at Sam one more time, betrayed and hurt, before both Dean stormed out and I followed.

The next day, Dean and I were packing. I couldn't believe it, he had been with that thing again. Without telling us. And now he was using his mojo to pull out demons. And I was quite sure he could do some more mojo if he wished. I didn't want to leave Sam, but if that was his choice, then so be it.

"Dean, Abby, what are you doing? What are— Are you leaving?" he asked.

"You don't need me, or Abby. You and Ruby go and fight demons", Dean said without looking at him.

"Abby", Sam begged.

I shook my head slowly, but looked at him sadly.

"I don't want to be with her, and you know that", I just said.

"Hold on. Dean, come on, guys", Sam said as we started to leave.

Dean suddenly turned and gave him a right hook. I winced but didn't try to stop him.

"You satisfied?" Sam asked before Dean punched him again.

"I guess not."

"Do you even know how far off the reservation you gone? How far from human?" Dean said angrily.

"I'm just exorcising demons", Sam defended himself.

"With your mind, Sam!" I exclaimed.

"What else can you you do?" Dean asked.

"I can send them back to Hell. It only works with demons and that's it", Sam told.

Dean grabbed Sam in the shirt and almost pushed him back, while I did nothing.

"What else can you do?" he shouted at Sam.

"I told you!" Sam exclaimed.

"And I have every reason to believe that", Dean said bitterly.

"Look, I should have said something. I'm sorry, Dean, Abby. But try the other side here."

"Sam, I don't understand, what other side? All I can see is you working with a demon", I stated.

"I'm pulling out demons out of innocent people", Sam said.

"Use the knife!" Dean yelled.

"The knife kills the victim. What I do, most of the survive. Look, I saved more people in the last five months than we saved in a year", Sam explained, almost like he was desperate.

"Is that what _she_ wants you to think? Kind of the way she tricked you into using your powers. It'll get worse, until you can't control it and innocent people die because of you", I said and almost whispered the last sentence.

"I'm not gonna let it go too far", Sam protested.

Dean turned and threw a lamp into the wall. Any second, one of them could start fighting, and as the youngest sister who often didn't fight with any of my brothers, it felt like my responsibility to prevent it.

Even if I sometimes chose sides myself, or didn't do a shit. At all.

"It's already gone too far, Sam. If I didn't know you, I would want to hunt you. And so would other hunters", Dean said.

I widened my eyes, I couldn't believe what Dean had said. Even with everything Sam done, I would never be able to say that, much less do it.

"You were gone. I was here. I had to keep fighting without you two", Sam mumbled, his voice thick and his eyes had gone shiny, along with Dean's.

"But what I'm doing, it works."

"Then tell us. If it's so terrific, then why'd you lie about to me? To Abby? Why did an angel tell us to stop you?"

"What?" Sam asked stunned.

"Cas said that if we didn't stop you, he will. You know what that means, Sam? That means God doesn't want you doing this. So are you just gonna stand there and tell us everything is good?" Dean said.

We all went silent, until Sam's cell phone started to ring. It turned out that an old hunter friend named Travis needed help with a Rugaru, which later ate him, after he'd tried to kill the monster's wife. Something I found extremely stupid to do. But I never had liked Travis that much, anyway.


	4. Not a hammer

We encountered a shapeshifter at Oktoberfest, who seemed to adore movie monsters like Dracula. It was also then Dean and I found out that we were virgins after coming back from Hell. But Dean lost it again after his encounter with some girl.

I didn't lose it, I decided that I would save it. For now.

But one of the weirdest things was with the ghost sickness when people who had been using fear as their weapon got sick by it. First the paranoia and then the heart attack. It had been quite entertaining when Dean had gotten it.

How many times did you see your older brother scream because of a cat. And he was right about Sam, he got toxic after half a burrito, I almost died once because of him. But I

had panicked slightly when Dean almost did die of a heart attack. And I had also learned that Bobby spoke Japanese. That showoff…

* * *

The next stop was a town where a man had choked on razors, that had first been suspected been in candy but hadn't. Then a girl had died in boiling water, while bobbing for apples. And it got more annoying, hex bags were involved.

And then we found out about the freaking Samhain raising, that could only happen every 600th year. Quite big thing.

And… We found nothing about Tracy the teenage witch. Apparently she seemed quite violent and witchy, which was no surprise.

When we made our way back to the motel, a little kid who was dressed as an astronaut and a bit chubby, stopped us.

"Trick or treat", he said and held up the bucket.

"This is a motel", Dean replied.

"So?" the boy responded.

"Sorry, kiddo, no candy", I told and shrugged.

But Sam being Sam wanted to honest with the kid and give him some candy when we were supposed to stop the freaking raising of Samhain.

"Actually, we have ton in the uh-" Sam started before I interrupted hastily.

"No candy, Dean ate all", I interrupted hastily and glared at Sam annoyed.

The kid narrowed his eyes skeptically at me before he looked at Dean hopefully.

"I'm sorry, kid, but we can't help you", he said.

"But I want candy", the kid whined and sounded younger than he seemed to be.

"Well, I think you've had enough", Dean replied more as a joke.

But unfortunately, the boy didn't take it as a joke and glared at Dean like he could kill him with a look. Dean looked a bit scared, to be honest, and I couldn't help but snicker. Gotta be careful, Dean.

The boy brushed past Dean like he was in the same age as him.

Dean had a new enemy, must be Thursday.

When Sam opened the door, the first thing he did was pulling out his gun and began to point at one of the figures who was in our room.

"Who are you?" he demanded before I saw who one of them was: Cas.

I quickly rushed to Sam and pushed down his gun.

"Sam, don't! It's Cas— Castiel, the angel", I told and looked at the other man by the window— probably another angel.

"But I have no idea who he is", I added and looked at Dean questioningly.

Had he seen that guy before?

"Nope."

Cas rose and faced us. His hair was a bit messy, which actually made him look very cute.

Stop! I said to myself annoyed, again.

"Hello, Sam. Dean. Abigail", he greeted.

Sam looked at Cas like he had seen an angel, which he did. And being Sam, began to stutter a lot.

"Oh my god. I, uh, I didn't mean to— sorry. It's an honor. Really, I've heard a lot about you", he ranted and extended his hand.

Dean and I looked confused at Sam. But then again, he hadn't met Cas before.

After a few couple of seconds of Cas staring at his hand, he grasped Sam's hand and shook it slowly.

Awkward.

"And I you", he replied before he placed his other hand over Sam's.

"Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood. I'm glad to hear you've ceased your extracurricular activities."

Sam looked quite uncomfortable, especially when the other angel spoke.

"Let's keep it that way", the other angel said.

"Yeah, okay, Chuckles. Who's your friend?" Dean demanded and looked quite irritated at the angel.

"The raising of Samhain, have you stopped it?" Cas interrogated and ignored Dean's question.

"Why do you care?" I wondered, perhaps a bit rudely but, well.

"Have you located the witch?" Cas continued.

"Yes."

"And is the witch dead?"

" No", Sam said.

"But we know who it is", I added.

"Apparently, the witch knows who you are too", Cas said.

I raised my eyebrow as Cas walked over to the nightstand and picked up something, which I later saw what it was: hexbag. I felt a bit relieved over that they had found that thing, otherwise one of us would be bathing in our body fluids, I guessed.

"This was inside the wall of your room. If we hadn't found it, sure at least one of you or all three of you would be dead. Do you know where the witch is know?" he asked.

Sam, Dean and I exchanged looks before I spoke up.

"We're working on it", I said.

"That's unfortunate", Cas replied.

" Why do you care?" Dean snapped.

Cas looked at the other angel for some reason before he answered.

"The raising of Samhain is one of the 66 seals", he replied.

Made sense. A lot.

"So, this is about your buddy Lucie", I said.

"Lucifer is no friend of ours", the stranger snapped a bit angered, or at least it it sounded like he was.

I glanced at Dean, who stared weirdly at angel while Sam looked like, well… Sam.

"It was an expression, nothing more", I replied.

"Lucifer cannot rise", Cas stated while he started to walk towards me and stopped two feet from me.

"The breaking of the seal must be prevented at all costs."

"Okay, so now that you guys are here and are _angels_ , you probably know where she is and you're here to tell us, so we can silence her", I told and met his eyes calmly without showing any emotion from last time we met.

"We're not omniscient. The witch is very powerful. She is cloaked, even to our methods", Cas replied.

"Okay. We already know who she is. So if we work together—" Sam suggested.

"Enough of this", the angel interrupted.

"Okay, who the hell are you and why should we care?" I snapped and glared at the stranger.

He turned and faced us. Even though I had seen Cas' eyes be cold like marble, it was something with the other one. I could feel something in me, something telling me that he wasn't trustable. And something else too.

"This is Uriel. He's what you might call a specialist", Cas explained to us.

"What kind of specialist?" Dean wondered.

No one answered and Cas seemed a bit unhappy about something, which made me feel uneasy. If an angel felt unhappy about something, it defiantly was bad.

"What are you going to do?" I asked wearily.

"The three of you need to leave this town immediately", Cas told and ignored my question.

"Why?" Dean asked.

"Because we're about to destroy it."

"Destroy it?" I echoed.

All I could think about was the people who lived there, the kids, parents, families, just people. How many would mourn over this town if it became dust?

"So, this is your brilliant plan, huh?" I questioned angrily.

Cas looked at me sadly before he spoke up.

"We're out of time. This witch has to die. The seal must be saved", he said.

"There is a thousand _innocent_ people living in this town", I protested and really wanted to smack them both in the face.

"One thousand, two hundred and fourteen", Uriel corrected like we weren't talking about lives, more like things.

"You're not helping", I growled and received a glare from him.

Stupid angel.

"And you're willing to kill the all?" Sam asked after a moment of silence and glaring.

"This isn't the first time I've… purified a city", Uriel stated neutrally.

I clenched my teeth and looked at Cas, who seemed quite uncomfortable in the situation.

"Look, I understand this is regrettable", he spoke and cast me a look before his eyes swiped over to Sam and Dean.

"Regrettable", Dean repeated with venom in his word.

"We have to hold the line. Too many seals have already been broken", Cas defended.

"So you screw the pooch of some seals and now this town is gonna pay the price?" Dean snapped.

"It's the lives of one thousand against six billion. There's a bigger picture", Cas stated.

"Right, because you only see the bigger picture here", I snarled and tried to keep my eyes from twitching.

I could almost hear my insides boil of the fury I felt inside. I just wanted to do something, whatever it took, to stop the fucking plan.

"Lucifer cannot rise", Cas said more harshly and took a step closer so we almost touched.

The tension rose and I had to clench my teeth to prevent them from rattle.

"He does and Hell rises with him. Is that something you're willing to risk?"

I didn't answer. Just in that moment, a brief picture of Hell popped up, my organs chopped up and a knife inside me, twisting and bringing burning pain which only grew the deeper it got inside me.

I paled slightly and froze for second for just remembering it, until Sam saved me by speaking up.

"We'll stop this witch before she summons anyone. Your seal won't be broken and no one has to die."

Cas looked at me in guilt since he probably realized that bringing up Hell almost got in me in an episode of flashbacks.

"We're wasting time with these mud monkeys", Uriel said scornfully.

I almost started to see red when I couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't he just shut up?

"Fine! Destroy an innocent town with people, children, families and don't care, because you are _so_ angelic and _so_ superior over us. You look down at us _mud monkeys_ and think: Oh, a witch is in that town, better smite the whole shit for one little bitch that is far inferior than us because that's what we're told! I first believed in angels being merciful and forgiving and all that crap, but _no_! You're just a bunch of winged dicks with range of emotion and kindness as a teaspoon! But then again, the teaspoon is probably much more kinder when I think about it."

Cas looked down in shame. If it wasn't for them wanting to smite the whole town, I would feel sympathy. But I didn't. My hands almost sparked of electricity because of the anger I felt in me, boiling, burning.

"I'm sorry. But we have our orders", Cas told while not looking at me.

"No, you can't do this. You're angels. I mean, like Abigail said, aren't you supposed to show mercy?" Sam said almost like he tried convince himself about it while Uriel chuckled coldly.

"Says who?" Uriel replied almost amused.

I clenched my teeth, so I wouldn't spit out any rude things at him, I didn't want to get killed off by that son of a bitch.

"We have no choice", Cas told.

"Of course you have a choice. I mean, come on, you've never questioned a crap order? Just a couple of hammers?" Dean questioned.

"Even if you can't understand it, have faith. The plan is just", Cas replied almost angrily.

"How can you even say that?" Sam said a bit terrified.

Poor Sam, knowing the things he'd been praying to, being dicks.

"Because it comes from Heaven. It makes it just", Cas responded and turned to Sam when he said it.

"It must be nice, to be sure of yourselves", Dean said quietly, but with enough coldness to make the Sahara desert freeze.

Cas turned to Dean and said the question I had hoped he wouldn't mention. Like seriously, dick move.

"Tell me something, Dean. When your father gave you an order, didn't you obey?" he questioned.

The words were almost like a punch for Dean, I could see that in his face.

Dad was a sensible subject since Sam had left and Dad had died.

Long story half short: Sam had left us, I had stayed with Dad and Dean but had had much harder with orders and become more distant from both Dean and Dad, but most Dad. When I thought about it, I shouldn't had gone so cold toward Dean, he had just wanted approval from Dad and I could understand him a bit more since he told us about the Shtriga.

"Well, I'm sorry boys. Looks like the plan's been changed", Dean said instead.

"You think you can stop us?" Uriel dared and watched us like we were scum, which we were to them.

"No, he knows it, we all know it", I told with a light but cold tone.

"But if you chumps are going to smite this whole thing, you're going to smite us with it, because, we're not leaving. And since you guys went the trouble with pulling mine and Dean's asses out of the Pit, I bet we're worth something to the Big Man. You want to kill us off? Sure, we'll see how he'll take it then", I finished and neared Uriel while looking at him challengingly.

"I will drag you out of here myself", he threatened as a comeback.

Wow, such a noob.

"Alright, then you'll have to kill me and then we're back on square one", I sassed and looked up at him like 'Bitch please'.

"We can do this", I stated confidently and turned on Uriel to walk toward Sam and Dean and stopped to look Cas in the eye.

And somehow, I held it steadily, like really steadily, with confidence and power.

"We will find the witch and we will stop the summoning of Samhain to save your precious little seal, _along_ with the town here."

"Castiel, I will not let these!—" Uriel roared angrily before Cas interrupted his little temper tantrum.

"Enough", Cas spoke clearly while not breaking the eye contact with me.

His eyes were clearer than before and had a light in them. I think he liked our decision better than Mr. Grumpy's.

''I suggest you move quickly", he then said.

I gave him a slight nod and a tiny smile before I turned to leave the room.

And when team Winchester (Sam, Dean and myself) went out to the Impala, I almost burst out laughing. The car was egged, like _really_ egged.

My money was on the astronaut kid.

Sam looked at it before he looked at me as I smirked. Surprisingly, he didn't grin back, so I became sightly concerned. Usually, Sam would have smirked back at me and we'd have started to laugh by now.

But Dean, he was furious. Just as I had expected.

"ASTRONAUT!" he yelled before we got into the car with me in the middle backseat.

"What?" Dean asked Sam, who really looked down this time.

"Nothin'", Sam lied.

I gave him a look that said 'liar'. I knew he was lying, it was written all over his face that he was.

"I thought they'd be different", he then stated.

"Who, the angels?" I wondered, before I realized how stupid my question was.

Of course it was the angels.

"Yeah."

"Well, I tried to tell you. But I guess our little sister's jabbing about their wings and eyes made you see them more friendly", Dean said.

I smacked him on his shoulder annoyed.

"Oh, come on! It was like over a month ago!" I exclaimed.

"I just— I mean, I though they be righteous", Sam said, ignoring what Dean and I had said.

" Well, they're righteous. I mean, that's kind of the problem", Dean joked with a slight laugh.

" Of course, there's nothing more dangerous than some a-hole who thinks he's on a holy mission."

"But, I mean, this is God and Heaven? This is what I've prayed to?" he asked.

I sighed and leaned forward so I could see Sam.

"Look, Sam, I know that you're into all that with angels, God and Jesus and the whole enchilada. And I know that Castiel and Uriel weren't exactly the best way in showing you that angels exist, but that doesn't mean the whole bunch is like that. Just because two fries are burned, French fries are still awesome", I reminded him.

Sam smiled slightly and continued to finger on the bone from the hexbag.

"Well, are you going to figure out a way to find this witch, or are you just gonna sit there, fingering your bone?" Dean said and eyed the bone.

"You know how much heat it would take to char a bone like this, guys?" he asked.

"No", Dean and I said and unison.

" A lot. I mean, more than a fire or some kitchen oven.

"Okay, Einstein, so?" I asked.

"It means we take a stop. Go back to the school."

* * *

The day after, I sat on one of the benches in the park, looking at the playing kids. Okay that sounded slightly pervert but it wasn't like that.

It was just, all the kids, all the people were still alive, even though Samhain was summoned. And he wouldn't been stopped without Sam using his mind mojo. I didn't like him doing it, but I guess he felt like he didn't have a choice then.

I could then hear the sound of wings and Cas sat beside me. And I knew what he would say, and it wasn't a good time for him to say it.

"Just say it: 'I told you so.'", I muttered tiredly.

"No, I won't", Cas stated.

"Well, good, because I'm not in mood for that", I replied.

"I am not here to judge you, Abigail", Cas said.

We were silent for a second.

"Then why are you here then?" I questioned.

"Our orders—"

"I've had enough of your orders", I snapped.

But Cas ignored what I had said and carried on.

"Our orders were not to stop the summoning of Samhain. They were to do whatever you or Dean said", he confessed

I raised my eyebrow confused and surprised? Us?

"Your orders were to follow our orders?" I asked surprised and skeptically.

"It was a… test, to see how you'd perform under battlefield conditions, you might say."

I let out a short and humorless laugh.

He's here to say that Dean and I failed the test since the seal was broken, I thought bitterly.

"So, we failed the test, huh? And you know what? Even if we could go back in time for a do-over, we'd still do the same thing. I have no idea what will happen if Lucifer gets out, but I do know this. Everything we see right now, the kids, the park, the families, everything is still here because of my brothers and I. And I think that's all that matters, for now", I told and looked at a kid who hugged his mother with a smile on his face.

If things were different, that kid would've never seen his mother ever again.

"You misunderstand me, Abigail. I actually prayed for you and your brother to choose saving this town", he said, which stunned me.

"You were?"

"These people, they're all my Father's creations", he started slowly while leaning forward.

"They're works of art. And yet, even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was still broken. And we are one step closer to Hell on Earth for all creation. And that's not an expression, Abigail. You, of all people should know what that means."

A cold feeling went down my spine, like an ice cube rolling down. Of course I hadn't forgotten, that's quite hard to forget actually.

"Don't worry, I do", I said quietly and quickly buried my nails into my palm to make sure I was still there, still on the bench, sitting beside Cas.

"Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell a soul?" Cas asked, his blue eyes looking into my soul.

I nodded slowly, a bit curious he was going to tell me. When an angel wanted you to keep a secret, it was something big.

"I'm not a hammer, as Dean said. I have questions, I… I have doubts. I don't know what is right and wrong anymore, wether you passed or failed here. But in the coming months, you will have more decisions to make. I.. don't envy the weight that's on your or Dean's shoulders, Abigail, I truly do not. But I know this", he admitted and slowly took my hand and held it gently in his.

"The moment I saw you, I knew you were different, special. Sometimes, we are something more than we knew we were."

He gave me a small smile, before he let go of my hand and disappeared.

I smiled at where he had been only a moment ago, before I rose to go to the car, where Dean and Sam waited.

"Is it something between you two?" Sam teased.

I rolled my eyes and smacked him gently.

"No, it isn't!"


	5. An angel without wings

A week or so after the 'incident' with the suicidal teddy bear and Dean's food poisoning, we're at some bar, where I played pool against some guy.

Just like Dean, I lured my 'victims' into false sense of security, before I bet higher and won the whole shit.

"Come on, dude!" I whined.

"Just, let me win my money back!"

The guy stared at me skeptically before he shrugged.

"It's your cash", he then said.

"Excuse me. My sister's a little sauced to making bets", Dean broke in, popping up after smirking while I 'lost'.

"Hey, she insisted", the guy protested.

"Yeah, but can't you see she's not, in the perfect condition exactly", Sam chimed in.

"Let's call it a night."

The guy smirked.

"Sure, after she loses."

"But you've already taken two bills from her", Dean protested.

I turned my 'drunk' 'annoyed' look over to him before I slurred out something I barely could understand myself.

"Shu 'p 'Ean, I 'ine", I said, before I noticed that I maybe exaggerated, a bit.

Sam rolled his eyes, which Dean noticed and stomped on his foot for. He looked a Dean accusingly, which I found very amusing.

"No, you're not fine, Abster. You're drunk", Sam stated.

"Let's make it $500!" I said and giggled.

"$500?" Dean asked with a loud voice.

"Sure", the guy agreed as I slammed the bills on the table.

"Your break", he told before I smirked slightly toward my brothers.

As we played, I kicked his ass. The guy's face was hilarious. I actually won and was about to take my reward, when…

"We have to go", Sam suddenly said.

I stared at him confused and followed where his eyes looked. And guess who I saw? Miss Demon bitch.

Anger boiled up like water inside me. And why the hell was she here? Except for glaring at me and checking out Sam?

I put away the stick but grabbed the money before the guy could take them and followed Sam. Even if it was something serious going on, me winning pool while playing drunk made me deserve some cash.

"Hey", Sam greeted while the first thing I did was glare at her.

"You got a lot of nerve showing up anywhere near me or Abigail", Dean snapped at her.

"I just have some info and then I'm gone", she scoffed.

" What is it?" Sam asked kind of too nicely.

I kept quiet, even though I wanted to growl at her or Sam for being nice to that bitchy little cockroach.

"I'm hearing a few whispers", she began.

"Wow, demon gossip", I remarked with fake enthusiasm spiking my voice.

"That sounds like something we could trust."

"A girl named Anna Milton escaped from a locked yard yesterday. The demons seem pretty keen to find her. Apparently, some really heavy hitters turned out for a Easter egg hunt", she said and ignored me.

" Why? Who is she?" Sam asked while Dean and I took two shots of tequila, each,

The disgusting taste and the burning in the throat was still much better then hearing the sound of Ruby's voice. But I still listened for some weird reason.

"No idea. But I'm thinking that she's important, cause the order is to capture her alive. I just figured that whatever the deal is, you might want to find before the demons do."

Sam turned his head toward us, just to see me almost choke on the tequila.

"Look, maybe we should check it out", he suggested and hit me in the back.

I swallowed and looked at Sam skeptically.

"Actually, we're quite busy. There's this case we have", I lied and stared at Dean sternly.

"What case?" Ruby snorted.

"Uh, we've got leads, big leads", Dean lied and lied worse than me.

"Sounds dangerous", Ruby said sarcastically.

"Well", I began and turned on my head so I met her eyes with a hidden hate behind them.

"It's more dangerous than chasing after some chick who might not even exist, and even if she does exist, she might not even be important."

Ruby responded my hate-look with the burn-in-Hell-look. Haha, that was quite a bad one, because I don't remember being fried in Hell.

"I'm just delivering the news. You can do whatever you want with it. Far as I'm concerned, I told you, I'm done", Ruby snarled and was about to leave, when Sam grabbed her arm.

"Wait, wait, wait. This hospital Anna escaped from—it got a name?"

And the suddenly, we're back on the road, again.

* * *

After researching a bit, Sam found out that Anna probably was hiding in the church she went to.

So, here we were, raising our guns if something would happen, when I noticed her hiding behind a colored window. I slowly put down my gun, holding weapons wouldn't make this any easier.

"Anna? We're not going to hurt you. We're here to help you", I called gently as we neared her.

"My name is Abigail and these are my brothers Sam and Dean."

"Abigail?" Anna replied.

" Not the Abigail Winchester?"

I exchanged looks between Sam and Dean before I replied.

"Uh, yes. It's me", I told her.

The girl Anna went out from her hiding and stared at us astonished. She had red hair, big green eyes and was pretty, which Dean seemed to notice, since he stared at her. And it was something with her, something familiar…

"And you're Sam?" asked Anna and nodded toward Sam, who nodded.

"And you're Dean? The Dean?"

"Well.. yeah. The Dean, I guess", Dean said and smirked slightly, which I almost rolled my eyes over.

"It's really you. Oh my God", Anna said and walked closer.

"The angels talk about you. You and Abigail were in Hell, but Castiel pulled you out, and some of them think you can save us. And some don't like you at all", she told and looked at Sam.

"They talk about you all the time lately. I feel like I know you", she told and stared at us amazed.

I widened my eyes surprised.

"So, you can talk to the angels?" I wondered.

" Oh, no. No, no way. Um, they probably don't even know I exist. I just kind of.. overhear them", she stammered and looked down on the floor.

"You overhear them?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, they talk and sometimes I just hear them in my head", Anna replied.

Dean looked at her with a shocked expression before he opened his mouth to talk.

"Like.. right now?"

"Not right this second, but a lot. And I can't shut them out, there're so many of them", she said quite fast.

Maybe because we were the Winchesters or the fact that we believed her and didn't think she was nuts.

"So, they lock you up with a case of crazies when you were just… tuning to angel radio?" Dean said slightly impressed and with a small smile.

"Yes, thank you", Anna thanked, which made Dean think for himself a moment or two.

Like I said: She was happy that we believed her.

I rolled my eyes at Dean when Sam glared slightly at me. Typical Sam.

"Anna, when did the voices start? Do you remember?" he questioned thoughtfully.

"I can tell you exactly— September 18th", she told us.

Dean and I looked at each other— the day we got out from Hell. Sam stared at us, also realizing it.

"The day we got out of Hell", we said in unison.

"First words I heard, clear as a bell— Dean and Abigail Winchester are saved", Anna informed us.

Team Winchester looked at each other, all of us trying to figure out something. Why? Why did the radio suddenly activate after our rescue?

"What do you guys think?" Dean asked us.

"It's above my pay grade, man", Sam replied.

If things hadn't been serious and this had been an ordinary hunt, I would probably have laughed at it.

We were silent. I hated awkward silences, so I felt quite relieved over Dean breaking it.

"Well, at least now we know why the demons want you so bad. They get ahold of you, they can hear everything on the other side's cooking. You're 1-900-ANGEL", he joked and smiled, making Anna laugh.

Oh, they were just adorable, I cooed in my head.

"Hey, um, do you know— are my parents okay? I— I didn't go home, I was afraid", she then said.

I looked down on the floor, I didn't want to see her face when she found out. But luckily, Ruby stomped in, and that would be the only time I was happy that Miss Bitch was here.

"You got the girl? Good, let's go!" she ordered.

Anna yelped and backed quickly.

"Her face!" she exclaimed horrified.

One thing I learned today: Human angel radios could see the true face of a demon, which was quite nasty.

Ruby's face was really awful, I had seen it once and really didn't want to see it again. I had known she was a bitch but not an ugly bitch, until that moment.

"It's okay, she's here to help", Sam comforted Anna.

"Not so sure about that", I muttered.

"We have to hurry", Ruby said quickly.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because a demon's coming— big timer. We can fight later, Abby", she explained, her voice filled with fear.

My mind then searched through the demons that were quite big bad, and I could only name three big timers, like real big timers. Azazel (who was dead), Lilith (not so dead, very much alive) and last and worst: Alistair.

Please, not Alistair, please…

"Well that's pretty convenient, showing up right after we found the girl with some bigwig on your tail?" Dean almost growled.

"I didn't bring him here. You did", Ruby defended herself.

I widened my eyes shocked. Seriously, were we like demon bait?

"What?"

"He followed you from the girl's house. We got to go now!" Ruby demanded.

"Guys", Sam said slowly and pointed at the statue of Mary, who was bleeding from her eyes.

That didn't happen with statues, I was very sure of that. At least not normally. And it was then I knew who it was, ding ding ding! It was Alistair.

Why'd I have to be right?

"It's too late. He's here", Ruby stated.

Sam grabbed Anna quickly and ushered her into the closet in the church. He then moved back to us, with a flask with holy water.

What would a small flask of that matter now? Alistair wouldn't be affected much by that.

"No, Sam, you got to pull him right away", Ruby told hastily.

I widened my eyes. No, no, Sam would not use his demon mojo. The side effects would probably be disastrous.

"No, wait—" I protested.

"Now's not the time to bellyache about Sam going the dark side. He does his thing, exorcises this demon, or we die", Ruby defended.

We all stared at Sam, who put away the flask awkwardly and we waited. Until the door flew away and revealed a man in his older fifties or something. My money was defiantly on Alistair. Sam raised his hand to do his mojo, which barely worked. Alistair just grabbed his throat lightly, revealed his demony eyes and coughed like he had a cold, until his eyes turned normal.

"That tickles", he mocked as Sam lowered his hand.

"You don't have the juice to take me on, Sam."

He then threw away Sam with his mind, which left us three, a demon and two humans with one demon killing knife. I bet my money we'd win…. not.

I raised the knife and tried to stab him in the back, but Alistair quickly grabbed my arms and stared at me amused.

"Hello again, Abigail", he greeted, before he shoved me into the wall and started to punch me, which made me drop the knife, sadly.

I could see Dean trying to help me, but Alistair quickly mojo-ed him into another wall and continued to beat me.

Every punch hurt, but knowing Alistair, he could inflict much more pain than punches.

"Don't you recognize me? Oh, I forgot. I'm wearing a pediatrician."

"We were so close, in Hell", he continued and punched me in the gut, making me choke for air.

"Of course I know who you are, Alistair", I hissed.

He laughed before he hit me again, and got the knife in his shoulder by Sam. Which didn't seem to hurt him much.

"You have to try a lot better than that, son", he taunted and released me to remove the knife.

I ran/stumbled to Dean as quickly as possible to get him up. When we all were on feet, Sam motioned for the window, which I didn't enjoy. Like really didn't, but we had choice. I pretended we wouldn't crash into glass, more like glass-like sugar, which sounded more fun, as we crashed into the window and fled for our lives with glass in our flesh. Yikes.

* * *

Back at the motel, I was busy with pulling out a big chunk of glass that was stuck in my shoulder. As I pulled, the wound burned like acid and I had to clench my teeth not to groan so high. Not so luckily, it was quite deep and had to be stitched. So I did what I had to. And it hurt like a bitch.

Sam was stitching himself while Dean spit blood in the sink.

"Dean!" I said and grimaced as the needle buried itself down in the arm.

"I have some glass in my back, I think."

Dean then gestured for me to take off my shirt, which I did, since it was in the way and we were siblings, and then he started to pull out the glass quickly.

"Never again", I muttered and winced as he poured alcohol over it all.

"Got a dislocated shoulder here. Any help?" he asked me after he was done.

"Just, give me a sec here, almost done."

I winced again as the pulled the thread and cut it off, to then take Dean's wine and pour it over the stitches, which felt like I was skinning myself.

Okay, perhaps not skinning, after all, I had been skinned myself.

"So you lost our magic knife, Sam?" I guessed.

"Yeah, saving your ass. Who the hell was that demon?" Sam asked.

I swallowed and stared at Dean with a slightly fearful look. He understood immediately.

"Not a good one. We have to find Anna", I said.

"Ruby's got her. I'm sure she's okay", Sam insisted, dismissing the worries, his worries at least.

"Right", I muttered.

I positioned myself behind Dean, with my hands on his shoulder. To be honest, I was stronger than people believed I was, popping back a shoulder wasn't a easy thing to do.

"Ready? On three— One!" I said and popped it back, with Dean groaning in agony.

"Thanks, Abster for helping me with the shoulder", I muttered to myself.

I sat down beside Sam, who was holding a bloody towel over his wound. Knowing Anna was with Ruby didn't make me feel good, not at all.

"You sure about Ruby? Cause I think it's just likely she used us to find radio girl and then brought that demon to kill us", Dean said while looking at his shoulder in the mirror.

"No, she took Anna to keep her safe", Sam defended her.

"And she hasn't told us where she is, because…?" I asked.

"Because that demon is probably watching us right now. Waiting to follow us right back to Anna again. That's why he let us go", Sam explained.

I stared at Sam.

"You call this letting us go?"

"Yeah, I do. Look, killing us would've been no problem for that thing. That's why, for now, we just got to lay low and wait for Ruby to contact us", Sam told us.

"How's she gonna do that?" Dean asked.

"Why do you trust her so much, Sam?" I asked.

Sam let out a sigh before he said:

"I told you."

"You gotta explain better than that. Look, I don't want to fight, but I have to know why, to understand. I deserve to know why. We both deserve to know why", I said.

Sam was silent.

"Because… she saved my life."

He then explained how he'd met Ruby and all that. How she'd saved his life. It was just one thing I didn't like when he told us about it, he kind of told us quite detailed how he and Ruby were doing the nasty. And that was disgusting. The image would be carved into my brain as long as I lived. Sam, with Ruby! Yuck..

"Sam", Dean interrupted him as he told us about the sexy times part.

" Yeah?"

"Too much information", we both said on the same time disturbed.

"Hey, I told you I was coming clean", Sam protested.

I wrinkled my nose.

"Yeah, but now I feel dirty and need therapy."

Sam rolled his eyes but to spare mine and Dean's minds, he skipped the rest of that part and told us more about the part where Miss Demon saved his ass. But for some reason, I still didn't trust her.

My gut told me that she was the enemy, and perhaps she was, but that didn't mean that I could not play nice and pretend to believe that manipulating smokey, ugly (at least her true form, her vessel was hot), bitch.

"Whatever you have to say, she saved me. More than that, she got through to me. What she said to me, it's what you two would've said. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here", Sam said.

Dean and I looked at Sam for a long moment, before someone knocked on the door.

"Housekeeping", a woman said.

"Sorry, ma'am, not now", I told and tried to hide my annoyance, the freaking DO NOT DISTURB sign hung clearly on the doorknob on the other side.

"Miss, I've got clean towels", she said after a moment of awkward silence.

I sighed quietly before I rose open the door to the maid outside.

"Couldn't you just have left the towels outside?" I asked before she kind of shoved them in my arms and then went to pull the curtains close.

She then gave Sam a note, which he took confused.

"I'm at this address", she explained to him while I put the towels on the table.

"I'm sorry, what?" Sam asked and stared at her questionably.

The maid stared at him before she pointed towards the bathroom window.

"Go now. Go through the bathroom window. Don't stop, don't take your car. Don't pass go. There are demons in the hallway and parking lot."

I stared at her and realized that she was Ruby. And I was pretty damn sure that the maid wasn't in coma.

Remember, Abster, pretend to kind of trust her, I reminded myself.

"Ruby?" Sam said loudly.

"Okay, yeah. So I'm possessing this maid for a hot minute. So sue me", Ruby said and put her hands on her hips.

"Yep, defiantly Ruby", I muttered.

Ruby ignored or didn't hear me while Sam still stared at her.

"What about—"

"Coma girl? Slowly rotting on the floor back at the cabin with Anna, so I gotta go. See you when you get there. Go!" she said and left.

* * *

"Glad you could make it", Ruby told as she opened the door.

"Thanks", Sam replied.

I noticed Anna sitting on the couch, with no scratch on her, at all.

"Anna, you okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I think so. Ruby's not like other demons. She saved my life", Anna told us and smiled.

"I hear she does that", Dean stated while I smiled gently at Anna when I really wanted to grimace.

Still did not trust Miss Demon.

"Well… I guess that Dean and I… you know" I began and thanked myself for drama school, at least the times I could go there.

Ruby crossed her arms amused.

"What?"

"I guess we owe you, for Sam", Dean continued and probably did mean it, tragically.

"And we just wanna… you know", I said awkwardly.

Ruby stared at me even more amused before she replied.

"Don't strain yourselves."

"Okay then", Dean said.

"Good. Because that was awkward", I finished.

" Hey, Abigail, you think it'd be safe to make a quick call, just to tell my parents that I'm okay? They must be completely freaked", Anna stated.

A cold feeling grew in my gut as I looked down.

"Um…" I started and looked desperately at Dean and Sam.

How did you tell someone that you had become an orphan?

"What is it?" Anna asked worried.

I looked at Dean before I sat down beside her. This would really hurt…

"Anna", I mumbled.

"Your parents…"

"What about them?" she said, her voice breaking slightly.

I pressed my lips together before I looked her in the eye.

"I'm sorry."

"No, they're not—"

"Anna, I'm so sorry", I whispered sadly and really did mean it.

She started to cry while I gently stroke her hair, trying comfort her the best as I could, in vain.

"Why is this happening to me?" she exclaimed while sobbing.

My chest felt terrible while I watched her cry.

"I have no idea", I whispered.

Suddenly, she sat up straight, like she had heard something.

"They're coming", she warned panicked.

I widened my eyes and looked up to see the lamps flicker. Oh shit.

"The backroom", Dean ordered before I led her away and closed the door after her.

Dean handed us the shotguns while Ruby searched for something.

"Where's the knife?" she demanded.

I looked at Dean, and started to scratch the back of my head awkwardly.

"Yeah… About that", I said and laughed nervously and uncomfortably.

"You're kidding!" she snapped and glared at me.

"Don't look at me! It was him!" I protested and pointed at Sam.

Sam rolled his eyes at me and stared at me accusingly.

"Thanks a lot", he said.

"You're welcome."

Ruby looked at all of us annoyed. Like annoyed.

"Great. Just peachy. Impeccable time guys, really", she said.

Suddenly, the door started to sound weird and rattled. We all held up our guns, ready to shoot, as the door flew open. The wind suddenly rushed and in and made my hair fly back, right in my face. Great, just great, I thought and blew out the hair from my face.

The sound of wings was heard, and Cas walked in, along with Mr. Grumpy. I glanced at Ruby, who had paled and her eyes became demony.

"Please tell me you're here to help us", I told with a slight annoyance in my voice.

"We've had some demon issues the whole day."

"I can see that", Uriel responded dryly while watching Ruby.

"You want to explain why you have that stain in your room?"

I looked at Ruby before I looked back at Cas.

"We're here for Anna", he told, his eyes locked on mine.

I raised my eyebrow. And why were they here for her?

"Are you here for her like… here for her?" Dean asked, which just sounded weird.

"Stop talking. Give her to us", Uriel said with something dangerous deep down in his voice.

"Why? Are you going to help her?" I asked, while deep down I knew they weren't.

"No, she has to die."

I stared at them dumbstruck. Why kill her?

"Why?"

"Out of the way", Uriel demanded and somehow, it felt like I should say that to him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, I know she's wiretapping your angel chats or whatever, but that's not a reason to gank her", Dean tried to reason.

"Don't worry, I'll kill her gently", Uriel replied and smiled coldly.

I narrowed my eyes and glared at him.

"You're some heartless sons of bitches, you know that?" Dean growled.

"As a matter of fact, we are. And?" Cas said.

I had to be honest there, Cas could be sassy sometimes, even if he didn't know that himself.

"And? Anna's an innocent girl!" I exclaimed and stared at Cas with widened eyes.

"She is far from innocent", Cas told.

I widened my eyes even more.

"And that's supposed to mean…?" Sam wondered.

"It means she's worse than this abomination you've been screwing. Now give us the girl", Uriel said with a harsher tone.

We all exchanged a look between us before Dean spoke up.

"Sorry. Get yourselves another one. Try JDate", Dean mocked.

I smirked at Uriel, before that smirk faltered.

"Who's gonna stop us? You three? Or this demon whore?" Uriel taunted before he grabbed Ruby and flung her into the window.

He then took a grip on her throat and seemed to be trying to smite her. How much I wanted her dead, I owed her. After all, she saved Sam's life, manipulating him or not.

Oh well, had no choice then.

I went behind him and hit him in the head with my elbow, which only made him turn to me pissed. He stopped my second punch and began to crush my hand. I yelped and tried to release it with my other, when his fingers touched my forehead.

A wave with power flowed inside me whispered one word forcefully over and over again: Sleep.

I squinted my eyes shut, ready to fall asleep, when nothing really happened.

With nothing happening, I slowly opened my eyes surprised, but my reaction was nothing compared to the angels.

Dean and Sam were already unconscious as Uriel stared at me confused and shocked, which I smirked at.

"Looks like your mojo doesn't work on me, sucker", I sassed and kicked him in the gut.

He staggered but quickly returned with hitting me, over and over again. Even if I seemed to be immune to the sleeping dose, that dude could still throw punches very good.

Uriel kicked me down on the floor and I was quite sure that he enjoyed it. While I loathed it.

"I'm been waiting for this", he mused and was about to make me faint forcefully, or just kill me to later resurrect me or something, when a white light appeared.

Something inside me was forcefully pulling me against the wall. I was flown back into the wall and crashed painfully. But Cas and Mr. Douchebag weren't that lucky. Cas spread his arms before the white light sent him away, but before he disappeared, I could see the shadow of his wings appear, and then, they were gone.

Ruby stared at me shocked, like I had exploded into glitter.

I rose from the wall and pulled her up.

"What the hell happened?" I whispered scared.

She stared at me even more, which annoyed me.

"How did you do that?" she said.

I looked her in the eye and answered honestly.

"I have no idea."

After a second, Dean and Sam woke up, groaning like they had a headache.

Ruby went to help them up while I opened the door the backroom, and found Anna bloody.

"Anna? Anna!" I exclaimed horrified and pulled up her arm to see a deep gash in it..

"Are they gone?" she panted.

I looked up and saw a sigil, painted in blood,

"Are they dead?" I asked, hoping Cas wasn't.

Even if he was a 'heartless son of a bitch', I kind of cared for him.

"No, I sent them away", Anna said while I took a piece of cloth and wrapped it around her arm.

"Far away."

"Can you tell me how you know that spell?" I wondered as my brothers came in with Ruby.

"That just popped in my head. I don't know I how did it. I just did", she said, becoming slightly weaker of the blood loss.

I looked at Sam and Dean, and gestured outside, while Ruby was going to fix the wound.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I think Anna's getting more interesting by the second", Sam said.

"Yeah, I agree. And what did they mean by 'she's not innocent'?" Dean asked.

I shrugged and glanced at her, who winced slightly while Ruby seemed to stitch the gash in her arm.

"They want her, and not because of angel radio, because that blood spell, that was some big stuff", I stated.

"Something's going on with her", Dean said and glanced at her too.

"See what you two can find out."

I raised my eyebrow.

"And you?"

"Anna may have set the angels to the outfield, but sooner or later, they're gonna be back. We gotta get us safe now", he said.

Dean called Bobby, who was on vacation and let us borrow his house, if we paid for everything we destroyed of course.

Gotta love Bobby.

* * *

After doing some more research about Anna, we found out about her screaming about her real father and that he'd kill her. So we, of course, called Pamela, who was eyeless, literally, since Cas.

And since she wanted to make the angels' job hard, she helped, and we found out that Anna was an angel. That was quite… strange. After searching and finding her Grace's location, we traveled there to get it, and it was stolen. Of course.

"Well, we still got the hex bags. I say we head back to the panic room", Dean suggested.

"What, forever?" Ruby stated.

"I'm just think out loud!" he exclaimed annoyed.

"Oh, you call that thinking?"

"Hey, hey, hey. Stop it", Sam interrupted.

"Anna's Grace is gone, you understand? She can't angel up. She can't protect us. We can't fight Heaven and Hell. One side maybe, but not both. Not at once", Ruby stated.

I looked at Anna, who looked like she was listening to something, in her head.

"Um.. Guys, the angels are talking again", she said.

"What do they say?" I asked.

"It's weird, like a recording, a band. It say 'Dean and Abigail Winchester give us Anna by midnight, or..'"

I frowned.

"Or what?"

"Or we hurl them back to damnation", she finished, making my heart almost stop.

No, I didn't want to go back there. Not after all that happened. Not after…

 _I screamed, until they ripped up my throat. Warm, wet bloodroot down inside my throat down inside me while the wound burned. They started the torture like this every time, every day._

 _While I choked on my own blood, they started to rip off the skin of my face and body, slowly and agonizing._

 _After the first part was done, the scalpel went up in me and started to work its way up, destroying me from the inside out._

 _As the torture went on inside me, someone poured a liquid over me, which started to hiss on the damaged tissue…._

 _After the everything was over, for today and my body was whole again, Alistair showed up, smiling._

 _"Yes… Or no?" he asked._

"Abby! Abby!" a voice exclaimed while I could feel something sting on my cheek.

The image of Alistair slowly disappeared and was replaced by Sam and Dean kneeling beside me, their faces full of anxiousness.

I was breathing hard and fast, feeling like my head was a ticking bomb.

"I'm here", I panted.

"I'm here."

I realized that I sat on the ground and rose, only to lean on Sam, crying.

"Abby, what happened?" he asked.

My body hurt, like it had happened all over again. I felt so weak, both mentally and physically. What had I done? Why had I done it?

"It's… it's nothing", I mumbled against his chest.

"Abby, that wasn't nothing. It was Hell, wasn't it?" Sam realized.

I was silent before everything went black.


	6. Human

Where am I?

That was my first question, until I figured out that I was lying down on something soft. My eyes fluttered open and I found Anna sitting beside me.

"How do you feel?" she asked kindly.

I groaned and slowly sat up. I felt tired, but whole. No hallucinations or anything.

"Like I need a big cup of coffee", I muttered.

She laughed slightly.

"Anna, why did you fall? Why did you want to become human?" I suddenly asked, like it was personal.

She smiled at me.

"You sound like Dean. He asked the same thing."

"But why? "

Anna took a deep breath and looked sad.

"I was stationed on Earth for 2000 years, just waiting, unseen, sick for home, taking orders from a father I have never seen. I watched you humans, watched your lives, seeing your loyalty to each other, love, forgiveness. I wanted that life, I wanted to be human. But I didn't do it because…"

She trailed off suddenly. I raised my eyebrow puzzled.

"Because?" I asked.

She looked at me, her green eyes filled with sadness.

"I… I had a friend. A sister, all angels are siblings. But, she was my favorite and my boss. She raised me when I was young. I didn't want to disobey her, or hurt her. But then… she disappeared. Like she had died, but no one knew where she had gone. It was then I chose to be human, I wouldn't remember the pain that she had vanished. You know, you kind of remind me of her", Anna said.

I tilted my head confused.

"Why?"

"You both love your brothers and would die for them, you have hard with taking a side when they fight. She was just like that."

I nodded, feeling strange. I had been compared to an angel, and a good one.

Anna smiled again before she rose and left.

I watched as she left and closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them again, Uriel stood and watched me.

"Look at that. So cute when monkeys wear clothes", he insulted.

I looked around confused, he shouldn't know where we were. Unless..

"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" I wondered.

"It's the only way we can chat", Uriel responded.

"Since you're hiding like _cowards_."

I clenched my teeth insulted when I noticed something, Cas wasn't here.

"I haven't seen you without a leash, where's your boss?" I questioned.

"Castiel? He is.. He's not here. See, he had this weakness. He likes you", he said.

What he said made my face feel slightly hot, but I tried to not show any of it.

Uriel would probably use it against me then.

"Time's up. We want the girl", he told.

I snorted before I smirked smugly.

"I don't think that's so smart. You see, Anna's got her Grace back. She's now 100% angel."

Uriel smiled coldly at me, like he knew something I didn't.

"That'd be a neat trick, considering…. I have her Grace right here", he said and showing me a flask-like pendant with a luminous blue white smoke inside which he had around his neck.

I hid my anger behind a mask as I watched the Grace inside the pendant.

That son of a bitch.

"We can't let Hell get their hooks into her", he said.

"Then why not give her her mojo back then?" I asked.

Uriel put the Grace back under his shirt before he answered.

"She committed a serious crime."

I snorted again.

"A serious crime? Thinking for herself and not being a puppet you can boss around with?" I snapped.

"This is our business, not yours. She's not even human, not technically."

"Well, I guess I just like being a pain in your angelic asses", I said and shrugged.

Suddenly, I blinked and found Dean coming in, buttoning his shirt after…

No.. You've got to be kidding me…

I blinked again and found Uriel looking in my direction before he smirked amused.

"No", he said, laughing and neared the couch.

"It seems like your brother cut himself a slice of angel food cake. Didn't he? He did", he noted amused.

I glared at him, Dean's intimate business wasn't my business. Definitely not my business.

"Why do you care?" I asked stiffly.

"You probably don't even have something down there, like a junk-less Ken doll", I continued.

Uriel held up his hands and moved away slightly while chuckling.

And then he changed subject, that sucker.

"This is your last chance. Give us the girl or—"

"Or what? Or you're going to throw me back down there? Right. You know, you angels are really bad at bluffing", I said and cocked my eyebrow up.

Uriel's face was emotionless.

"Try me. This is a whole lot bigger than the plans we've got for you, Abigail. You can be replaced, easily", he said.

I press my lips together and looked at him daringly.

"Fine, then do it", I challenged him and rose.

Uriel neared me again as I 'waited' for him to 'do it'.

"You're just crazy enough to do it, aren't you?"

I shrugged a bit and stroke away my hair that was falling down in my face.

"What can I say? I like to push my limits, I don't break that easily now", I told.

Quite a lie, I still had PTSD after my experience in Hell, but at least I wasn't a vegetable.

"Oh yes, you do", Uriel stated and went behind my back.

His lips almost touched my ear as he whispered:

"You just go to know where to apply the right pressure."

I held a straight face, even though I knew what he was talking about.

"I have no idea what you mean", I lied and stopped my hands from shaking, along with the rest of me.

"Now, now, don't lie. Give us the girl, or you know where I will start break you."

I swallowed and gave him the information he needed, before he disappeared and I was in Hell again.

 _"_ _Yes", I whispered, a tear sliding down my face._

 _"_ _Yes, I'll do it."_

 _They let me off the rack and put on a person on it. A terrified person who I knew had newly gotten here. Alistair showed me the fine art of torture along with Dean._

 _And after a few years, I had mastered it and knew exactly who to put the right pressure on different parts of the body to inflict as much pain as possible. The most important was— according to Alistair— patience._

 _That was what my afterlife was about, blood, pain and screams. It was my living, and I began to enjoy it._

 _One year, I almost lost myself. I was 100% sure I was becoming a demon. But the last year, I cried._

 _After every day of torturing souls, I cried. It felt wrong, I wasn't supposed to harm souls. I was supposed to protect them…_

 _The last time I tortured a soul, the last time I weeped, I could hear the sound of flapping wings, and then it was all dark._

* * *

The next day, we all sat in the barn and waited for Ruby (whom apparently had gone away during the night) to come back.

I couldn't look at Anna without feeling guilty, so I instead stared at the whiskey bottle in my hand instead.

"I don't know, guys. Where's Ruby?" Sam said worried.

" Hey, she's your Hell buddy", Dean said and took a swig from my bottle before he handed it back.

"Little early for that, isn't it?" Anna said.

"It's still night somewhere, right?" I replied and looked at her shoulder instead of meeting her eyes.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah", I said before a gust of wind slammed up the door and the angels came in.

I rose and stared at them blankly while Sam held his arm in front of Anna.

"Hello, Anna. It's good to see you", Cas greeted and sounded like he meant it.

"How? How did you find us?" Sam hissed.

Cas' eyes moved over to me, where they lingered. I looked down on the ground, not being able to meet my brothers' eyes.

" Abigail?" Dean and Sam said betrayed.

I could feel my tears rise up. After Anna had told me that I reminded her of an angel who was loyal, I felt like a monster for doing this.

"I'm sorry", I whispered and looked at Anna.

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Because they gave her a choice. They either kill me… or kill you. I know how their minds work", she said and looked at them both.

"You did the best you could, Abigail", she said and and squeezed my hand gently.

"I forgive you."

Tears blurred my sight, as I watched Anna and Dean kiss each softly, one last time. As I turned back to look at the angels, Cas looked at me sadly, like it was sad but the right choice.

I wiped away the tears as Anna turned and met their eyes bravely.

"Okay. No more tricks. No more running. I'm ready", she told them boldly.

"I'm sorry", Cas said to her.

"No, you're not. Not really. you don't know the feeling", Anna stated.

"Still, we have a history. It's just—"

"Orders are orders, I know. Just make it quick."

For a brief moment I wondered what that history meant, until I realized it was stupid.

Of course Cas didn't mean that kind of history. He probably meant the times where he and Anna had worked together and all that. And why did I even wonder?

"Don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head", Alistair suddenly said.

I turned stunned, and found him stand with two demon buddies and a sore, bloody Ruby.

Sam quickly moved Anna to the wall as Uriel walked toward the demons.

"How dare you come in this room, you pussing sore?" he growled with rage spiking his voice enormously.

The demons had already thrown away Ruby on the ground as Alistair neared Uriel.

"Name calling? That hurt my feelings, you sanctimonious prick", Alistair snorted.

He really needed to know better insults than that.

"Turn around and walk away, now", Cas demanded.

"Sure. Just give us the girl. We'll make sure she gets punished good and proper."

"You know who we are and what we'll do", Cas said and moved over to Uriel.

"I won't say it again. Leave now, or we lay you to waste", he warned.

"Think I'll take my chances", Alistair responded.

After a moment of silence, Uriel slammed a demon into one of the pillars before he killed the demon by smiting him. Cas punched Alistair in the face before he tried to smite him, which somehow didn't work.

"Sorry, kiddo. Why don't you go run to daddy?" Alistair sneered before he punched Cas down to the ground.

He grabbed Cas by the collar of his shirt, and began to chant in Latin. Just seeing Cas in pain, filled me with anger and fury.

I grabbed the nearest weapon (a crowbar) and hit Alistair in the head with all I had. He rose and stared at me disappointed.

"Abby, Abby, Abby. I am so disappointed. You and your brother had such promise", he said and choked us three with his mojo and made me fly up in the air.

Suddenly, I could see Anna glow from the inside.

"Shut your eyes! Shut your eyes!" she screamed before her body became devoured in pure white light.

Alistair suddenly dropped me, with my eyes open, but somehow, I didn't vaporize like he did.

Instead, I could see a beautiful yet terrifying humanoid being with pink wings, before she vanished with a wingbeat.

And luckily, I was still alive even though I had seen her true form. But how the hell could I even live?

It was then I noticed how close I was to Cas, so that made me blush, since Uriel had mentioned that he liked me.

Platonically or romantically, I didn't care.

I walked to pick up the knife. When I rose again, I met the again shocked angels' eyes.

"What are you waiting for, guys? Go and get Anna now, unless you're scared", I taunted and smirked.

"This isn't over", Uriel snapped, but Cas held him back.

They both seemed to have recovered from seeing a mere human watch the true form of an angel without getting turned to dust.

"Oh, I think it is, Junk-less", I said smirked smugly.

Uriel glared at me while Cas looked at me puzzled before they both vanished.

That sucker.

Ruby limped over to Sam while I stared at the spot where Anna had become an angel.

What was wrong with me?

First I hear some whispering behind the high pitched noise of Cas' voice. Then I can't fall asleep by Uriel's mojo.

And after that, I fly into the wall after the banishing spell. And the last and strangest, I can see their true form without burning up. What the hell? I thought.

"You okay?" Sam asked Ruby.

Ruby shrugged.

"Not so much", she responded.

"What took you so long to get here?" Dean questioned, which made me raise my eyebrow confused.

"Sorry I'm late with the demon delivery. I was only being tortured", she said sarcastically.

"I got to hand it to you, Sammy. Bringing them all together all at once— angels and demons. It was a damn good plan, which Abby helped without knowing", Dean complimented.

I stared at him.

"Wait, this was a _plan_?"

Dean looked at me amused. Asshole.

"Yeah, well, when you got Godzilla and and Mothra on your ass, best to get out of their way and let them fight", Sam joked.

"Yeah, now you're just bragging", Dean said.

"So, I guess she's some big-time angel now. She must be happy, wherever she is", Sam stated.

"I doubt it", Dean told.

* * *

"Can't believe we made it out of there", Dean said.

"Again", Sam and I added, before we clinked our beers together and took a swig.

"I know you heard him", Dean stated.

I looked at Dean, my lips shut and not wanting to say a word. After reliving Hell again, from when we came there to getting out, I hoped it was the end of my episodes.

I really hoped.

"Who?" Sam asked.

"Alistair, what he said", he said quietly.

"About that we had promise."

"I heard him", Sam replied.

Dean nodded slightly.

"You're not curious?" he wondered.

"Dean, I'm damn curious. But you're not talking about Hell and I'm not pushing. But I'm quite sure it was painful. Abby, you screamed like you were tortured", Sam reminded.

I leaned my head against Sam's shoulder. If I'd been taller, I would have rested it on his shoulder, unfortunately, I couldn't. Stupid Sasquatch.

"It wasn't four months, Sam", I mumbled.

Sam looked at me confused. For him, it had been four months. For us… Well.

"What?" he said.

"It was four months up here, but down there… I don't know. Time flows differently. It's more like forty years", I continued as I waited for an episode.

But it never came. It would've come up one at this time.

Sam looked at us sympathetically and then glanced down on the ground.

"Oh my God…"

" They uh… They sliced and carved and tore in ways that you…. Until there was nothing left", Dean told him.

"And then suddenly, everything was whole again… like magic… just so they could start over. And Alistair, in the end of every day… every single one… he would come over. And he would make us an offer to take us both off the rack.. if we put the souls on… if we started the torturing. And every day, we both told him to stick it where the sun shines."

Dean stopped talking after that, and I knew exactly why.

"For thirty years we told him that. But then… I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy. I couldn't", I whispered and could feel the tears rise up.

"And I got off that thing. God, help me, I got right off it. And… And I persuaded Dean to go off too… God, I was so selfish, not wanting to be alone in this. And then… we started to tear them. Piece by piece. Screams and more screams. I don't remember how many souls…. The— the things I did to them, what I had made Dean do…. And the worst… I could hear something inside me… telling me that I failed. Telling me… that my Father would hate me… My family…"

I stopped, tears falling from both my eyes.

"Abby… Abby, look, you held out for thirty years. That's longer than anyone would have. Look, I know why you made Dean do it, I can understand", he said and wiped away a tear from his face.

" I feel this… inside me… the voice… I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy,

Dean-o" I whispered and called Dean by the nickname I had used when I was a kid.

"I wish I couldn't feel anything at all."

* * *

We decided to sleep in the car this time since none of us were in the mood to pack or anything. Dean and Sam were sleeping in the car while I sat on the hood of the car, watching the stars. The sound of wings was heard and I knew Cas was standing behind me.

"Hello, Castiel", I mumbled, still watching the small diamonds in the sky.

"Why aren't you calling me Cas? You always do", he said with a small hint of hurt in it.

I shrugged slightly before I answered.

"Don't know. I just… don't feel so good."

Cas moved over and sat down beside me quite awkwardly. Not because he couldn't come up (he was a freaking angel, of course he could come up), it was more of the fact that we sat so close, we were touching each other's arm.

"I want to apologize", he began.

I raised my eyebrow and looked at him confused.

"For what?"

"For my actions. They could have killed you", he said.

I let out a short laugh. Quite ironic, really.

Cas looked at me strangely.

"What is funny?"

"The fact that you're apologizing for me living this life is funny, Cas. I almost die every day, it's my living. I just hadn't been prepared to die at all", I said and smirked, thinking of Hell.

Cas still seemed to not understand, which I didn't blame him for, I felt quite dizzy myself.

"I do not understand", he said even more confused.

"You're not supposed to", I replied and smiled.

He shook his head slowly.

"You almost died today", he said, still sounding guilty.

What? Now it was my turn to get confused.

"And with that, you mean…?" I wondered.

"You could have died back there, seeing Anna's true form. I could have covered your eyes…"

Seeing his face like that, filled with regret, made me want to hug him so hard I couldn't describe the feeling.

It felt… strange.

"Cas, I'm okay. I'm still here", I said softly and took his hand in mine.

"I don't blame you for that. But I wonder: Why? Why can I see your true shapes without dying or why I didn't get affected by the sleep thing?"

Cas looked at me, his beautiful dark blue eyes, meeting mine.

"I have to be honest with you, Abigail, but I have no idea how", he told, his voice spiked with some curiosity.

" I told you that you're special."

I smiled and hugged him for no apparent reason. I just wanted to hug him.

He smelled good, like cinnamon and other spices with a pleasant scent.

Cas didn't hug me back, he just sat there stiffly and awkwardly.

It then it hit me, he had kind of no idea what a hug was. Because of what I had realized, I smiled even more and let go of the astonished Cas.

"You don't know what a hug is?" I teased.

Cas shook his head.

"I do know what a hug is, but I don't know why humans hug and when they do", he said and tilted his head slightly.

He looked like an adorable kitten actually.

"Then I'll have to learn you", I said, my smiled getting wider for every second.

"You hug a person if you like that person, or if you want to comfort them. Sometimes, people hug others because it's kind of their handshake."

"So.. some people hug people to greet others, like the Cherubim", he stated.

I nodded, even though I had no idea of that Cherubim hugged each other. I had never met one, before.

"Yeah, exactly. But you also hug someone if you haven't seen them for awhile. Like, if I hadn't seen my brothers, I would hug them when I met them again. Sometimes, when you love someone, you hug them", I continued and tried to hide my blush when I said the last part.

"I think I do understand", Cas said and frowned thoughtfully, not noticing my red face.

"So if I like someone, I hug them?"

I nodded, confirming it.

"So, that means, that you like me? Because you hugged me?"

I stiffened, the blush creeping up higher and warmer. This was becoming awkward. Of course, I liked Cas, but not what kind of 'like'.

"Yes, I like you Cas", I answered honestly.

Cas smiled at what he heard, before he looked at the moon.

"It's late, you should get some sleep. I don't know how much you humans sleep, but I do believe the most of you sleep now", he said and got off the hood of the car swiftly as a cat.

I did the same thing and studied him, wondering what he was going to do. And, a bit surprisingly, he hugged me.

He seemed uncertain when he hugged me, a bit stiff but still, he was hugging me.

Hugging Cas, felt comfortable and warm in a nice way, like a cozy, warm bed.

"Goodnight, Abigail", he said before he disappeared.

I stared one last time at the stars, before I got into the car and closed it carefully to not wake Sam and Dean.

The last thing I remembered doing before I was lost in sleep, was that I smiled.


	7. Throwback Thursday

The next few weeks, it was just ordinary cases. No angels or demons, just monsters and ordinary stuff. First, we heard about a house with a ghost, who wasn't a ghost. It was actually two kids who had grown up there inside the house and had been the former owner's and his daughter's kids. I was sorry that we had to kill them, under other circumstances, they could've had a normal life without becoming animals. My hell was nothing to their lives.

Then it was this magician who wasn't a real magician, but somehow, people around him died. It actually had been his best friend who had a spell book. We had to kill that dude, which the fake magician didn't like.

* * *

"So?" I asked Sam as he got inside the car after having talked to the girl who had drowned the cheerleader girl in the toilet.

"I think she's telling the truth. I mean, the way she talked about being there mentally but not physically — kind of sounds like demonic possession to me", Sam told.

"Kind of?" Dean wondered.

"She didn't see any black smoke or smell sulfur", Sam stated.

"Who knows? Some new monster we've never seen before, perhaps?" I said.

"Well, I mean, we're already here. Might as well check out the school", Sam suggested.

I widened my eyes and stared at the school. How long had it been since I was there? A lot of years back? And I still kind of looked the same. Except the height, I was now two inches taller. Must be all the hunting.

"Right, the school", Dean said and sounded both amused and bitter.

"What?" Sam wondered.

"Truman High, home of the Bombers."

"What's your point?"

I leaned forward and looked like him with the 'you don't know?' look.

"Come on, Sam. We went there for a month for, I don't know, twelve years ago or something", I reminded him.

"Why do you want to go back?"

"I'm not. I just think it's worth looking into", Sam stated and sounded like he was lying.

Oh well, if he wanted to go there, we could go there. Why not?

"All right, well, what's our cover? FBI? Homeland Security? Swedish exchange students?" Dean questioned.

"Don't worry. I got an idea", Sam said and smirked in my direction.

"By the way Abster, can you speak Swedish?"

Oh fuck.

* * *

 **1997**

Third school this year, fun, I thought sarcastically as I got out of the car, staring at the school annoyed.

I hadn't anything against Dad hunting, but seriously? How many schools were we going to be at before Sam and I graduated? Hundred, give or take?

"Got your lunch? Books? Butterfly knife? Combat knife?" Dean asked us after he had thanked Dad for driving us.

"Yep", I said and popped the 'p'

"Yeah, Dean", Sam responded and sounded quite down.

"You okay, Sam?" I wondered and looked at him with my head tilted.

" Sure", Sam lied.

Dean went in front of us and stopped to look Sam straight in the eye.

"Sammy…"

"I mean, look, this is the third school we've been to this year, and it's only November. I'm just sick of always being the new kid", Sam told us.

"Sammy, it's okay. I'll be there with you", I said and smiled.

"If anyone gives you any trouble, you let me know. Same for you, Abby. Relax. Dad said this hunt will take him two weeks, tops. As soon as he gets back, we're out of here", Dean said.

"To another school. Awesome."

"Ladies and gentlemen, please say hello to Sam and Abigail Winchester", Mr. Wyatt introduced to the class while Sam and I stood beside him, both us feeling uncomfortable as hell.

Sam was right, it really was annoying.

"Hi, Sam. Hi, Abigail", the whole class said.

Please, let us go to our seats, I begged in my head while I smiled awkwardly at the class.

"Is there anything you'd like to tell us about yourself?" he asked us politely.

"Well, I like French fries with BBQ seasoning and strawberry milkshake", I told and smirked to ease the awkwardness, making the class snicker.

"And you, Sam?"

" Not really", he mumbled.

He really didn't feel good about being the new kid, again.

"Okay. Uh, grab a seat."

I slowly walked beside Sam and took a seat behind Sam and beside a big guy that really looked like the bully type.

And I was only reading body language.

As Sam dumped the backpack on his desk, his knife fell down on the chair, making me widen my eyes.

Really, Sam?

"Sam!" I hissed before he quickly snatched the knife and hid it, but not before a scrawny kid with glasses noticed it and widened his eyes amazed.

"Whoa, that's yours? Awesome!" he exclaimed quietly.

"All right, gang... essay assignment", Mr. Wyatt announced, making everyone groan.

"Yeah, yeah, my heart breaks for you."

"Hey, I'm Barry", the scrawny kid whispered to Sam and me.

"Abigail."

"Sam."

"Okay, now, I want three pages of your most memorable family experience. Just a reminder though, this is going to be worth half your final grade…"

I didn't listen much after that, since I noticed the bully-like guy, flick Barry's ear over and over again. Like I had said, bully.

"Seriously. Leave him alone", I hissed annoyed at him.

"Shh, I'm going for a record", he said.

"I don't care what you write about, or even how you write about it. I'm looking for the brutal, funny, maybe even painful, truth. Okay, everybody, any questions? Okay, let's get started", Mr. Wyatt said.

"Didn't you hear my sister? Leave him alone", Sam said lowly.

"You want to take his place... midget?"

"Sure", Sam agreed.

* * *

 **Now**

"So, I'm an intern from Sweden and my name is Olivia Anderson and I will be around for a while, I guess. A day or two maybe", I told the drama class I was in.

"How old are you, Anderson?" a guy asked—who seemed to be one of the jocks— and winked.

"I'm twenty-six, kiddo. I think you're too young for me", I replied and received a laugher from the rest of them while the guy was red in his face.

Something told me that he was one of the douches in the school, because everyone stopped laughing as he glared on them.

"Can you say something in Swedish?" another guy wondered.

I had actually read some Swedish before, and mastered using their weird melody while they talked. And hopefully, they wouldn't notice that I wasn't from Sweden.

"Okay. Well… Den där snubben borde verkligen sluta flirta med lärare som är äldre än honom, eftersom de inte är intresserade i små pojkar som han", I said and kept myself from laughing at myself.

 _That guy really should stop hitting on teachers who are older than him, because they aren't interested in little boys like him._

Some of the students raised their eyebrows confused.

"What the hell did you just say?"

I smirked at them triumphantly before I answered.

"I shouldn't say it to you guys, so I won't. Sorry. But it has something to do with boys in your age", I explained and grinned amused at their still confused expressions.

" Now,we're going to remake some quite famous scenes from different theaters and movies. I want you to take one scene and rehearse 'til I want you to perform them for me on the stage. But first, I'll make some groups."

To be honest, it went quite good. Some small temper tantrum from the jock for being with the 'geeks', which he earned a glare from me for. But otherwise, good.

"This was very good, everybody. And I guess we will see each other in the corridors, or something", I said before I ended the class and went to the school gym, where I knew Dean was and Sam probably would be.

"Hey, Sam", I said and hurried to him and his janitor's cart.

"Found anything?"

"Nope", I told before I opened the door and found one kid taking a lap and another half groaning in pain.

And the weirdest, Dean in _tight_ red shorts. Something I didn't want to see again.

He seemed to notice us, because he stopped in whatever he was doing and tossed the bag with ball to the students.

"Go nuts."

I rolled my eyes while he walked to us with a quite smug smile.

"Having fun?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"The whistle makes me their god", he told us proudly while I stared at his shorts.

"Good to know. Nice shorts, by the way", I commented.

He looked down at them uncomfortably before he looked up again. I bet he like those, but pretended to hate them.

"Find anything?" he questioned.

I shook my head.

"The lessons I've been to, have been quite calm, even when I paired the jocks to the 'geeks'", I said and air quoted 'geeks'.

"I've been over the entire school twice. No sulfur", Sam told us.

"No sulfur, no demon. No demon, no case", Dean stated.

"I don't know. Maybe I was wrong." Sam admitted.

I patted his shoulder (which had to stand on my toes to do) and smirked.

"Happens to the best of us, bro", I said.

"I say we hit the road, huh? But after lunch — it's sloppy-joe day", Dean said.

"Oh, and I just want to be on another class. It seems quite fun", I added.

Suddenly, a guy cried out and ran past us with his hand over his nose. Right, good teacher they had.

"Good hustle, Colby! Walk it off!" Dean shouted.

* * *

"I'm Olivia, as you may know, and I'll be looking around at how your teacher is teaching and all that stuff", I told the group before they started to cook something.

I was not sure what, though.

Suddenly, a guy started to scream in pain. I quickly jerked my head to him and saw another guy shove down his hand in the Cuisinart. With towel ready, I ran to the guy and ripped up his hand (what was left of it, at least) and put the towel around it.

"Mrs Green, take him to hospital", I ordered and stayed while the rest of the class— excluding the guy who had become nuts— ran out in panic.

The boy who had done it suddenly fell down on the floor, when I noticed some black goo in his ear, ectoplasm.

That explained why we hadn't noticed any sulfur. Because it wasn't a demon possession. It was a ghost. Fun.

* * *

 **1997**

"Dirk can't be serious. That dude can probably not even hit straight", I stated when we walked down the corridor.

Suddenly, we saw some douche knock down Barry's things on the floor, making everyone around us snicker.

"Leave him alone", I snapped to him while Sam helped Barry with his books.

The douche smirked.

"Oh, yeah? What are you going to do, little girl?" he mocked.

I clenched my teeth. Something I hated was when people underestimated me because of my height. Just because I was short, it didn't mean that I couldn't kill a human.

Which I could. Theoretically. Never done it, of course.

"You don't want to see me angry", I said in a low and dangerous voice.

The guy stared into my eyes, before I saw a flicker of fear in his.

Without a word, he turned and walked away.

"Thanks, both of you", Barry thanked while I helped picking up the last of his books.

"Nice kids", I muttered.

"I don't care. Three years, and I'm out of here. I'm going to Michigan State. They got the best vet program in the country", Barry told.

"You like animals?" Sam asked.

"They're a lot nicer than people", Barry stated, making me nod.

"Yeah, some people are just suckers", I said, making Barry chuckle.

 _"_ _Come back."_

I stopped dead in my tracks while a chill went down my spine. Who the hell was that?

"Abster, what's wrong?" Sam wondered and looked at me thoughtfully.

I raised my eyebrow, hadn't he heard that?

"The voice, didn't you hear it?" I asked and looked at the puzzled boys.

Sam shook his head.

"No, there wasn't any voice. Abby, you okay?"

I glanced at Barry slightly before I looked back at Sam.

Maybe Dean knew something about some creature whispering inside your head.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I guess", I lied and gave Sam a 'tell you later'-look.

We continued to walk in the corridor when the janitor's closet door opened, and Dean and the Amanda girl walked out and kissed each other slightly.

I rolled my eyes, seriously, again?

The third of fourth girl this season only.

"Yo! Sammy! Abby!" he said lowly and smirked at our direction, while I shook my head.

"That's your brother with Amanda Heckerling? He's cool", Barry said astonished while I smirked.

"Yeah, that's what he thinks at least", Sam and I said in unison.

Wasn't the first time we said that, wouldn't be the last either.

I noticed the Kirk guy and some big guys behind him, looking 'dangerous'. Sucker.

"Hey, tough guy. I been looking for you. Still want to take Barry's place?" he challenged.

"Get out of here, Barry", Sam ordered while still looking at Dirk.

"I'll go get a teacher", he said and left.

Sam went forward and put his hands on Dirk, like he wanted him to move.

"You want to go?" Dirk said.

"I'm not gonna fight you, Dirk", Sam protested.

"Why not? You chicken? Come on!" Dirk dared.

Before I could do anything, Sam shot my a don't-look. He knew what I could do, and what I would do.

"No."

From all of sudden (sarcasm), Dirk punched Sam down to the floor, making everyone around us make a 'ow' sound.

That son of bitch. Hitting Sam, he'd would pay for it.

"Get up! Get up! Come on! Get up!" Dirk urged.

 _"_ _Punish him. Give him what he deserves",_ the voice whispered in my mind.

But it wasn't a possession or something. It was just like a person standing beside me and whispering in my ear. Kind of.

Gladly, I thought angrily, and was about to beat the shit out of him, when Sam looked at me and shook his head.

"Don't", he said lowly.

I balled my fist, but nodded.

How much I hated it, Sammy was right, he was right about a lot of things.

"Hey, get back! Get back. That is enough", Mr. Wyatt said from nowhere and took off after Dirk.

First week in school, wonderful.

* * *

"That kid's dead", Dean growled after he got to know what happened.

"Dean", Sam said slowly.

"I'm gonna rip his lungs out!"

"It's not a big deal", he mumbled.

"He _hit_ you", I reminded.

"Sammy, look at yourself. If Dad was here —" Dean exclaimed angrily.

"He's not."

"Well, I am! And as soon I'm finished with that dick —"

"Shut up, okay?! I don't need your help", Sam protested.

"That's right, you don't. You could have torn him apart. So why didn't you?" Dean wondered and sounded quite annoyed.

" Because I don't want to be the freak for once, Dean. I want to be normal", Sam stated.

"So taking a beating — that's normal?" Dean said sarcastically.

I hadn't said so much the last seconds, so of course, I decided to chide in, with something else instead.

"Heard anything from Dad?" I asked.

"He called this morning, said he's going to be another week at least. We weren't supposed to be here this long", Dean responded.

I shrugged fluidly and stared at him.

"At least you've got Amanda to make out with", I added.

"Dude, she wants me to meet her parents. I don't do parents", Dean said, making me laugh slightly.

"Yeah, Dean. You defiantly don't do parents.

* * *

 **Now**

"Come on, Mr. Ghost. Come out, come out, wherever you are", I sing-sang and waved with the salt loaded shotgun.

"Guys, I don't get it. No one ever died on this bus, and it's not like there's a body hidden in here", Sam stated.

"Yeah, but a flap of skin, a hair, I mean, hell, a hangnail - something's got to be tying the ghost to this place. We just got to find it", Dean told while I crept on the floor and searched for hair, nails or… other things.

Yuck.

"Got a new driving permit. Issued two weeks ago", Dean informed, making me and Sam move to the driver's seat, where Dean sat and held up a paper.

"Wasn't that just before the first attack?" I wondered and furrowed my eyebrows.

"Yeah. Name of the bus driver is Dirk McGregor Sr., 39 North Central Avenue."

I widened my eyes. Dirk? McGregor? Oh, crap. No, you got to be kidding me…

"Dirk McGregor? Sam, do you remember his son?" I questioned and looked questionably at him.

"Yeah."

"Did you know everybody at this school?" Dean snorted.

* * *

 **1997**

The end of the school, for today. Yippie.

"You okay, Abby?" Sam asked.

I nodded slowly, until I noticed Dirk shoving down Barry on the ground.

"Got to watch where you're going, man", he said to him.

"Leave him alone, Dirk", Sam protested while I just could glare at the big guy.

"You never learn, do you, midget?" he taunted.

I lead down and helped Barry up from the pavement while he looked at Sam and me horrified.

"Go to the bus, Barry", I mumbled to him before Sam and I went with him.

I could then se Dirk push Sam to the ground, making everyone snicker or laugh.

"What's the matter? You scared? Don't worry. I'll go easy on you this time. Come on, Lose-chester. Let's see what you got. Come on, freak! Freak!" he mocked.

I started to breathe heavier while my vision was tinted with red.

No one would hurt Sammy, not without being punished. And calling him freak? That was the last straw.

 _"_ _Show him who he should be afraid of",_ the voice urged in me.

And this time, I listened. With the speed of lighting, I shoved Dirk backwards.

"What's the matter? You scared to take on a girl?" I taunted and raised my eyebrow.

Dirk narrowed his eyes and threw a badly made punch, which I dodged from and kicked his gut, making him groan in pain.

"No one hurts my brother", I snarled and and punched him again.

I dodged from another hit before I hit him, over and over again. And, it felt good. Letting out my anger on the person who had been hitting and punching my brother again and again.

When I finally stopped, he was lying on the ground in pain and humility.

"You're not tough. You're just a jerk. Dirk the jerk", I told.

Suddenly, everyone started to laugh at the new nickname before Dirk walked off with his back turned on me. Like I had said, no one touched my brother.

* * *

 **Now**

"Dirk!" Sam said and readied his shotgun while I held my Beretta in shooting position.

"Winchesters. What are you gonna do, shoot me?" Dirk snarled at us.

"We don't need to", I stated while Dean wrapped the rope around Dirk.

"That rope is soaked in salt water, Dirk. You're not going anywhere", Sam informed him while Dean hurried up in the bus.

I waited for some seconds, it couldn't be that hard to find the Bible in the bus. Unless…

"It's not here!"

"Where is it?" Sam questioned.

"No way you'll ever find it", Dirk stated.

I pushed Dirk against the bus and put my gun on his chest.

"Answer my brother's question. Where is it?" I demanded.

"Abigail Winchester. Still a bully. Still fawning over your big brother. You, you jocks... you popular kids... you always thought you were better than everybody else. And to you, I was just Dirk the jerk, right? Now you evil sons of bitches are gonna get what's coming to you", he said, making guilt swim around in me.

He was right, I shouldn't have called him that that. I shouldn't have hit him. Sam had been right.

"No, I'm not evil. You're not either. Look, I know I did some pretty horrible things to you back in school, but it wasn't evil. I have seen evil in the eye. We, we both suffered in our own way. High School really was and is the worst part in your life. But it got better, but I'm sorry neither you or Barry got to see it", I told him and let go.

"Nothing is gonna get better for me. Not ever", Dirk said.

He ripped himself free from the ropes and went at me, but not before Sam shot him in the chest a couple of times, making him fall down on the ground.

"Are you okay?" I asked the driver, until someone lunged themselves at me, making me fall down on the ground.

Dirk the started to beat me up, repeatedly. And maybe, I deserved it.

"No! Don't! Find the hair, both you!" I yelled to them as I heard gunshots.

Over and over again, my face got hit, getting sorer and sorer, bloodier and bloodier. I braced myself for the pain, when suddenly, Dirk cried out and got ripped out from the boy's body and disappeared in flames.

But naturally, the unconscious boy fell down on me pretty hard, and he was a bit bigger than me too.

"Ouch!" I groaned and tried to breathe normally, which was almost impossible.

"Guys, help?"

"Wow, Abby. That guy is _too_ young for you", Dean chuckled.

* * *

 **1997**

"What do you mean with voice?" Dean asked confused before he fell down on the bed.

I shrugged.

"It was like someone whispered in my ear, but only in my head. No possession or something, just plain whisper. I've already read in the books. No demonic possession or something. Actually it kind of says nothing about a voice like that", I told him.

"Maybe we should call Dad about it", Sam suggested.

I shook my head. He couldn't do anything while he was out on a hunt.

"No, he's hunting and won't do good while he's out. Look, maybe I just imagined it—"

 _"_ _Come back."_

Suddenly, everything dropped in temperature. Or at least for me. It felt like I couldn't be warm again. And then, it got hotter. Like near a chimney or something with fire.

"Abby, you okay?" Dean asked and looked at me while searching for any supernatural on me.

 _"_ _Come back. We need you."_

"The voice, it's here", I whispered.

"Leave me alone", I growled to it.

 _"_ _Don't be angry at me, Abigail. You chose it, not I. Not any of us, but you."_

From nothing, a weird sound stung in my ear, like a thousand needles. I cried out in pain as the sound intensified, feeling like someone was splitting my skull.

Everything inside me started to shake, like it was going to explode. No, I didn't want to die, not like this.

And all of sudden, it was gone. Just like that.


	8. The dream

The next case, a siren was posing as a stripper. And for some reason, the siren named itself after Disney princesses, who made men kill women near them.

The siren posed as a FBI agent and made Sam and Dean turn on each other.

Me, being me, hadn't gotten any saliva on me, tried to stop them from killing each other. Bobby luckily saved us all (I hadn't any weapons at the time.)

* * *

We were sitting in some dinner place, where Dean was messing with the jukebox and Sam was talking with Bobby about something, while I enjoyed my huge box with French fries and a strawberry milkshake. Sam and Dean were a lot more stiffer toward each other after the siren, which I wasn't happy about.

Not that I blamed them, they had said some pretty hard things to each other back there.

"No, no, no, you're right, it's defiantly weird. Okay, Bobby, thanks", Sam said and hung up.

"What's up?" Dean asked and sat down and took a huge bite of his burger.

"Oh, Bobby found something in Wyoming", he told us.

"A job?" Dean wondered.

"Maybe. Small town, no one's died in the past week an a half", he explained and opened his laptop.

I raised my eyebrow.

"So? Just because people aren't dying doesn't it mean that there's a case", I stated.

"Well, it's how they're not dying", Sam said and started his researching on the laptop.

"Uh… One guys with terminal cancer rolls right out of hospice, another guy gets capped by a bigger and walks away with no scratch", he read.

"Capped in the ass?" Dean asked, making me roll my eyes before I popped in a fry in my mouth.

"Police says Mr. Jenkins was shot in the heart at point blank range by 9 mm", Sam continued,

"And he's still tickin'?" I asked astonished.

"Locals are saying it's a miracle", he told us.

"Okay", Dean said simply, taking another bite of the burger.

I tilted my head in confusion, until I understood why he was so nonchalant, the siren incident, when Sam had said he was better off without us.

Even he had been meaning it (which I was sure of), he still stuck around with us. After all, if he wanted to dump us, he'd had done it a thousands times by now. He'd done it before, he could do it again.

Sam didn't seem to understand, it looked like he thought that Dean thought it wasn't important.

"It's got to be something nasty, right? I mean, people making deals or something", he tried.

"You think?" Dean said and took another bite.

"What else would it be?" Sam asked.

"I don't know", Dean and I said this time.

Sam stared at Dean strangely, until he started to pack.

"Alright, get those to go", Sam said.

I slowly started to close the box, but Dean sat where he sat.

"Come on", Sam said to him, but he didn't move a muscle, except the eating muscles.

I rose slowly while holding my box with fries in one hand, my cup with milkshake in one other.

"What?" he asked and looked at Dean confused.

"Sure you want us going with you?" he questioned.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know. I don't want to be holding you back or something", Dean replied.

Sam looked like he wanted to sigh, but he didn't.

"Dude, I've told you a hundred times, that was the siren talking, not me. Can we get past this?" Sam said and looked at Dean with his puppy eyes.

Those puppy eyes, impossible to resist, I thought, as Dean slammed his burger on the plate.

"Yeah, we're past it."

* * *

After talking around with the locals, we figured out that the best way to figure out this was to summon the ghost of the dead boy, the last one to die before this.

I wasn't liking the fact that we're going to kill off the people— good people.

We stood by his grave as we prepared the ritual. I drew the pentagram because I was best at drawing sigils and symbols (not to brag, but after seeing my twin's drawing of a guy with a tattoo), while Sam was fixing the rest and Dean was looking in Dad's journal with the spell.

Seeing something that reminded me of Dad gave me chills. Not because I didn't like him, it was just the fact that the voice had whispered that he hated me, it made me feel slightly sick.

"You sure this is gonna work?" Dean asked while he read the spell.

"No. But if his spirit is around, this should smoke him out", Sam responded, when Dean then closed the book.

"What?" Sam asked, looking confused.

I sat down beside Dean and tried to keep my balance and not fall off the gravestone.

Okay, felt a bit disrespectful, but I had done that before, many times.

"This job is jacked, that's what", Dean stated.

"How so?"

"You want me to gank a monster or torch a corpse, hey, let's light it up, but this? If we fix whatever this is, people are gonna start dropping dead. Good people", Dean argued, which I nodded in agreement.

"Look, I don't want the to die, Dean, but there's an natural order", Sam said and rose.

I snorted annoyed,

"You've got be kidding right?" I said.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Come on, Sam. You don't see the irony in what you said? You, me and Dean are the best examples of unnatural order. All we do is ditch death", I reminded.

If remembered right, each of us had at least died once. Well, Dean and I had died like a hundred times in Mystery Spot, but, that had been the Trickster so…. It didn't count, I guessed.

"Yeah, but the normal rules don't really apply to us, do they?" Sam countered.

"We're no different than anybody else", Dean said.

Sam laughed with no humor in his voice.

" I'm infected with demon blood. You two have been to Hell. Abigail can resist some of the angels' powers and see their true form without burning up. I know you want to think yourself as Joe the Plumber, Dean, but you're not. Neither am I or Abigail. The sooner you accept that, the better off you gonna be", he said.

Dean looked up at the sky and breathed out.

"Ah, Joe the Plumber was a douche", Dean said.

"So you two are gonna help me finish this?" Sam asked sarcastically.

I took a deep breath and rose, when suddenly…

"Hey!"

I looked beside Sam and saw a middle-aged man with a torch coming toward us.

"What are you doing here?"

We all looked at him terrified. When it came to summoning a spirit or something some other fleshless being, we were often quite careful. But apparently not this time.

"Uh, dude, just… take it easy", Sam stuttered.

"What the hell is this?" he said and looked down at our little ritual.

Crap.

"Okay, this— this— this is not what it looks like", Dean said and laughed nervously.

"Really? Cause this looks like devil worship", the man said.

Kind of ironic, being blamed for devil worship when we're kind of trying to stop it, I thought.

"No, sir!" I exclaimed.

"This, is not devil worship. This is… This is… This is… Uh…"

Crap, crap, crap…

"This is a ritual to worship… an angel named… Castiel", I lied and felt proud over my extremely bad lie.

Nailed it.

Sam and Dean looked at me like 'WTF Abigail?', which happened sometimes.

The man didn't seem to believe us. At all.

But if we had been followers of Lucifer, we'd still worship an angel. Just not Cas.

"Look, we're leaving", Sam told him.

"You are not going anywhere", the man said, stepping more closer toward us.

"Ever again, Sam."

We all tensed as his eyes rolled up and only showed the whites.

"Alistair", Dean hissed.

His irises rolled down again and looked at us with smugly.

"I thought you got quite barbecued last time we saw you", I snapped acidly.

"No. Just the pediatrician I was riding. His wife is still looking for him, it's hilarious", Alistair said.

I narrowed my eyes, just wanting to stab him with the knife wherever it was. Thinking someone being worried as hell for their husband is funny…

"Anyway, no time to chat. Got a hot date with death", he added before he flung Dean and I away with his mojo.

And then, I crashed into someone's gravestone and everything just started to spin before it all went black.

* * *

"I can't even begin to tell you how crazy you three are", I could hear a woman say.

"Well, Pamela, you're a sight for sore eyes", Sam said.

Pamela? What was she doing?

"Oh, that's sweet, Grumpy. What do you say to deaf people?"

I opened my eyes and immediately felt the headache twisting inside my head. Right, gravestone in the head.

I could see Pamela scowl at my brothers before she turned her eyes— plastic balls— to my direction.

I rose and greeted her with a hug.

"So, what happened with you?" she asked.

"A gravestone in the head. And what are my brothers planning?" I asked and glared at them.

"I'll come to that now. Which one of you brainiacs can up with astral projection?" she asked.

I widened my eyes. What. The. Hell were they planning now then?

"Yo", Dean said and raised his hand, making me glare at him.

"Of course. Chachi. So, let's be clear— you want to rip your souls out of your bodies and take a little stroll through the spirit world?"

"Okay, that's just nuts, guys", I stated.

"Told you that she would say that", Sam muttered to Dean, which I rolled my eyes over.

"Do you have any idea how heavy-duty insane that is?" she said.

"Maybe, but that's where the reaper is", Dean said.

"So it's nuts", I finished, making Pamela nod.

"Not if you know what you're doing", Dean argued.

"You don't what you're doing", Pamela countered.

"No", Dean said and smiled.

"But you do."

I eyed him annoyed while Pamela didn't seem much happier.

Okay, I knew that it had been my idea from the beginning to call Pamela when Anna's memories were hidden.

But I thought Pamela shouldn't be dragged into this, again, for the third time. The first, well, her eyes had burned out.

"Yeah, I do. And guess what? I'm sick at being hauled back into your angel-demon, Soc-Greaser crap", she exclaimed almost angrily.

"Look, I'd love to be kicking back with a cold one, watching 'Judge Judy' too", Dean replied irritated.

"Nice, more blind jokes, thanks Abigail, I appreciate that", she said like she could see that I was glaring at Dean, again.

" You know what I mean. You too, Abigail. We're talking about the end of the world here, okay. No tasseled leather pants, no more Ramone's Cd, no more nothing. We need your help", he said seriously.

Pamela looked at Dean disapprovingly before she ordered us to close the curtains and light some candles.

I did not like this idea, but if that was what it took to save a freaking seal, I would then have to agree. So I did.

"Tell me something, geniuses. Even if you do break into the veil and you find the reaper, how you gonna save it?" she asked.

"With style and class", Dean smirked.

"You're gonna be two walking pieces of fog who can't move or touch anything. You'll be defenseless, dumbasses", I stated.

"I seemed to recall a bunch of ghosts beating the crap out of us", Sam said.

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, well, unlike you two yahoos, they had time to have a ghost education, while you two will just pop up to save the day with ghost mojo you don't even have trained", I replied.

"Well, then I guess we got to start cramming", Dean said and smirked.

"Wow, a couple of heroes. Alright, lie down, close your eyes", she ordered them.

I sat on a chair between my stupid brothers while Pamela started the spell to get out their souls from their meat.

"Animum vult decipi ergo dicipiatur. Vis, vis, vis", she chanted.

"Okay, guys, that's it. It's showtime", she said to their sleeping looking bodies.

Nothing happened.

"Uh, not to be rude, Pamela, but, did it really work? There's no sparks or unicorns, anything?" I asked.

"Don't underestimate magic without sparks, but yes, it worked", she said and smirked amused.

"So I'm assuming you're somewhere over the rainbow. Remember I have to bring you back", she said and rose.

"I'll whisper the incantation in your ear."

She then bend over Sam's body and whispered something I only could catch up some words.

"You… great ass."

I wished I had never heard it at all.

* * *

After some hour, I was pretty damn sure I fell asleep, because I knew I had done this before, a few weeks ago. And I was even more sure since I could see myself as a third person. I stood a few away from them, feeling like what the dude did in 'Ghost' or whatever.

And wow, my hair looked good.

"So if I like someone, I hug them?" dream-Cas said.

Dream-me nodded.

"So, that means, that you like me? Because you hugged me?"

I could see dream-me stiffen, and I knew exactly why.

Why the hell was it so hard with categorizing how you liked someone?

"Yes, I like you, Cas" dream-me answered.

Dream-Cas smiled and looked up at the moon. I wonder what he had thought then, I thought and smiled at seeing him smile.

"It's late, you should get some sleep. I don't know how much you humans sleep, but I think the most of you sleep now", dream-Cas said and got off the hood of the car while dream-me did the same.

Then, like I remembered it, dream-Cas hugged me, which made me wonder a bit.

I had newly said at that time that you hugged someone if you liked them, and then, Cas had hugged me. I still remembered the feeling of his frame against me.

"Goodnight, Abigail", he said before he disappeared.

I watched as dream-me got inside the car and fell asleep, still smiling.

Okay, I had been an idiot for not realizing. I was in love with Castiel.

* * *

"Dreaming sweet dreams?" Pamela said when I woke up, still sitting between Sam and Dean.

"Dunno", I said and rubbed my eyes and thanked the above (not really, just an expression) that I hadn't any makeup, or else I would look like a panda.

"Oh, dear. Even if I can't read thoughts, the way your feelings are swimming around, it's something different. You feel confused but there's still this little spark of joy. You can tell me, what is it?" she said and reminded me of high school, where girl talked about boys all the time.

Except me of course, who hadn't had time with a guy since we moved after some week being somewhere, give or take.

I sighed, knowing Pamela wouldn't like it. After all, it had been Cas who burned out her eyes and she still wasn't happy about that, at all.

"Okay, just don't get mad at me for stating this. Look, I know you don't exactly love the God squad upstairs, and I understand exactly why, but, there's something else with Cas— Castiel. He's.. different. He doesn't like hurting people", I began slowly.

"Yeah, he doesn't like hurting people", she muttered.

"He didn't seem to think about it when he burned my eyes out."

I closed my eyes for a moment.

"I know and I totally understand you for saying that. It's just that—"

"You love him", she spoke.

I went silent and looked at her, before I nodded, even I though I doubted she could sense it.

"Yes, I love him. I just… I don't know. He's a freaking angel, and I'm a human. It's crazy", I stated.

Pamela nodded slowly, like she was trying to understand what I just said.

"Just be careful, Abigail. You don't want to end up like me", she said and pointed at her eyes— sorry— eye sockets.

I shook my head.

"I can't", I said.

"Can't what?"

"I can't end up like you, not literally. I could see an angel's true form without burning up and I was immune to the angel Uriel's sleep mojo. I can tell you, there's something with me", I said.

Pamela looked at me, as if she was trying to read me, when suddenly, she rose up, high alert. She closed the window and went inside the bathroom slowly. Sometimes, she could really confuse me.

"I know you're here. What's the matter, you reeking son of a bitch? You afraid of a couple of skirts?" she mocked the thin air and ripped away the shower curtain.

"Pamela, are you okay? What's happening?" I asked worried, before someone hit me in my head, which already had headache.

And it went dark. Again.

Crap.

* * *

"Abby, wake up", Sam's voice said, sounding like an echo.

It took some seconds, but I opened my eyes and found Pamela with a drink in her hand and Sam looking at her and me worried.

"What happened?" I asked horrified and rose up, feeling the damn headache pound even harder.

Pamela smirked slightly.

"A damn demon. Don't worry, can't die in this town", she just said.

After around twenty minutes later and after Sam told us what happened, Pamela started to clutch at her stomach, like she was wounded.

Realization dawned upon me. The reaper was saved, which meant people could die, which meant that Pamela was dying.

"Pamela, let us—" I said anxiously as she winced in pain as she walked to wake up Dean.

"No", she said straight and sat down in the other bed, still clutching to her belly.

"Come on, we can convince Tessa to let you go", I pleaded.

"I'm pretty sure she's started up again", she responded and took away a finger to show us.

The wound had started to bleed and it was almost pouring out. Tears started to form in my eyes.

No, not Pamela..

Suddenly, Dean gasped sat up, just to see her bleed and take a drink from the bottle.

"What happened?" Dean wondered.

We didn't answer.

"Dean, where's Tessa?" Sam asked.

"She's…" Dean started and trailed off, giving us the answer

"Pamela, I'm so sorry", I whispered as she took off her sunglasses, revealing her white eyes.

"Stop."

"You don't deserve this."

"Yeah, I don't. I told you I didn't want anything with this. Tell that bastard Bobby Singer to go to hell for ever introducing me to you three", she said and started to cough out blood.

I looked down in shame before looked up again.

"Take it easy, Pamela. If it's any consolation, you're going to a better place", Dean lied.

"You're lying. But what the hell? Everyone's got to go sometime", Pamela panted.

"Abigail, don't worry about anything, sweetie", she said.

I nodded, a tear rolling down my cheek.

She then waved over to Sam to come closer. And when he did, she whispered something in his ear I couldn't make out.

Pamela began to cough harsher, before she went still.

I closed my eyes and felt the stinging sensation of my tears before small sobs escaped. How many people were going to die because of us?


	9. Needed

"Home, crappy, home", Dean muttered when we got inside the motel room.

It had been a day since Pamela's death and we hadn't exactly been so nice to each other.

I had kind of yelled at them for fifteen minutes for bringing Pamela into this, while Dean was pissed at Sam for having contact with Ruby (which I was too, but) and Sam was pissed at me for not protecting Pamela.

Well, I kind of had had a hard time since I had been freaking unconscious when they had attacked her.

I turned on the light since I was the last one in, and guess who were inside?

Mr. Grumpy and Cas.

"Winchester, Winchester and Winchester", Uriel said.

But something was wrong I noticed. Usually, Uriel was behind Cas like he was an assistant. This time, it was the opposite.

"Are you serious?" I groaned.

"You are needed", he said.

Dean and I looked at him like 'WTF'.

"Needed? We just came back from needed", I snapped.

"Mind your tone with me", Uriel warned.

"No, you mind your fucking tone with us", I growled and took a step toward him with rage burning in my chest like fire.

"We just got back from Pamela's funeral", Sam said and held me back from hitting Uriel, but Dean seemed to be as angry as me.

"Pamela. You know, psychic Pamela. Cas, you remember her. You burned her eyes out. Remember that? Good times", Dean said with a low and angry voice.

Cas looked at me with some guilt before he looked away again.

And I had no idea what to do. I felt so angry for being dragged into this again after Pamela's funeral, just for one fucking seal.

"She died to save one of your precious little seals. So maybe you could leave us alone and not use us like puppets for five fucking minutes!" I kind of yelled and felt a lot of my anger disappearing with those words.

"We raised you two from Hell for our purposes", Uriel replied calmly.

"Yeah, what were those again? What exactly do you want from us?" Dean demanded.

"Start with gratitude", Uriel responded.

"Oh, that will be easy", I muttered sarcastically and glared at Uriel.

"Dean, Abigail, we know this is difficult to understand", Cas said.

"And _we_ … don't care", Uriel said firmly, which made Cas fall silent and continue stare into the wall.

Something was wrong, really wrong. This wasn't supposed to be like this.

"Now, seven angels have been murdered. All of them from our garrison. The last one was killed tonight", Uriel informed us.

"Demon? How are they doing it?" Dean asked.

"We don't know."

"I'm sorry, but what do you want us to do about it? I mean, a demon with juice enough to ice angels has to be out of our league, right?" Sam said.

Ugh, he's too kind towards him, I thought annoyed.

"We can handle the demon ourselves, thank you very much", Uriel said to him.

Uriel might be a dick, but he had some humor. I had to admit that.

"Once we find whoever it is", Cas added.

Uriel glanced slightly Cas before I broke the silence.

"So you need _our_ help to hunt some demons?" I asked and directed the question at Cas.

"Not quite", he said and moved closer, making me be able to see his lovely eyes better.

Why did they have to be so freaking blue?

"We have Alistair."

"Great. He should be able to name your trigger man", Dean replied.

"But he won't talk. Alistair's will is strong. We've arrived at an impasse", Cas said.

"He's like a black belt in torture. I mean, you guys are out of his league", Dean said, which I kind of agreed with him.

"That's why we've come to his two students. You happen to be the most qualified interrogators we've got", Uriel said.

I groaned slightly, while I was freaked out on the inside. I didn't want to do this. Hell was bad enough, and get to torture on Earth? Not my rodeo. What if I would be like I had been down there?

"Dean, Abigail, you're our best hope", Cas said.

"No", I said harshly and kept my body from shaking.

I sure as hell didn't want to show weakness in front of Uriel.

"No. You can't ask us to do this, Cas", I pleaded and looked him in the eye.

He met my eyes with guilt and sadness before Uriel stepped even closer and made Cas hide his emotions quickly.

"Who said anything about asking?"

I met Sam's eyes before I could hear sound of wings, and Sam was gone. Instead, I found myself was staring at Alistair, who was bound some strange devil's trap.

He had a new vessel, it seemed like. Poor guy who had to contain that son of a bitch.

"This devil's trap is old Enchain. He's bound completely", Cas informed us both.

"Fascinating, where's the door?" I asked and walked away, Dean following me.

I was not going to torture, not again.

"Where are you going?" Cas asked us.

"Hitching a ride to California", I told.

Suddenly, Uriel appeared right in front of us. Wow, I really hated that power.

"Angels are dying, girl", he said.

I huffed.

"Everyone dies nowadays. And I don't care how mighty you are, you're _not_ making us do this", I growled.

"This is too much to ask, I know, but we have to ask it", Cas said and walked over to us.

We were actually so close, I was sure that I could just stand on my tiptoes and a bit more, and our lips were going to touch. But I didn't do any of that.

One: My brother and Uriel.

Two: Just no.

"We wanna talk to Cas, alone", Dean said and looked at Uriel.

Gotta love my brother.

"I think I'll go seek revelation. We might have some further orders", Uriel said after a quiet second.

"Take some fries with you", I said.

Uriel chuckled amused.

"This one won't quit, will she? I think I'm started to like you, girl", he said before he disappeared.

I turned back to Cas, who seemed to be slightly more relaxed than with Uriel.

"You guys don't walk enough. Seriously, you're gonna get flabby", I complained, making Dean smirk and Cas to look at me confused.

I sighed, a bit amused actually. Cas, Cas, Cas.

"You know, I think Mr. Junk-less has a better sense of humor than you do", I said and smiled.

"Uriel is the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone", Cas said.

I rolled my eyes, but agreed.

"What's going on Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?" Dean asked.

"My superiors have begun to question my sympathies", Cas said.

I tilted my head.

"Your sympathies?"

"I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You two. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt. The can impair my judgement", Cas said, his eyes on me.

I looked down, not wanting to meet him in the eyes.

It was kind of my fault, if I just hadn't been so selfish with talking with him like he was a human.

"Well, tell Uriel, or whoever… you do to want us doing this. Trust me", Dean said.

I looked up at Cas, who didn't look at Dean. I could feel the warmth radiating from Cas, and all I wanted was to touch him. I just wanted to go back to the moment when I learned him about hugs.

"Wanted? No. But I've been told we needed", Cas said.

"You ask us to open that door and walk through— you will not like what walks back up", Dean said.

I swallowed but nodded slightly. This could mean that I might be suck in the episodes again, or worse, I'd become what I almost became one year.

"For what is worth, I would give anything not having you do this", Cas said.

"So, we'll need some tools", Dean said.

After been given some instructions, Dean walked away to get them, which made us two alone.

I pressed my eyes shut and felt a tear roll down. God, I had started to become such a cry baby. Before Hell, I almost never cried.

"Are you okay?" Cas asked.

I nodded and was about to wipe the tear away, when Cas pressed his thumb gently against my cheek and wiped it away softly.

I blinked surprised. Cas wasn't the one who was expert at human things, but he was amazing at this.

"How did you learn that?" I asked, and felt a bit stupid for saying that.

Cas smiled a bit.

"I have watched humans do that when someone is sad", he said.

I smiled too and touched his hand before I tried to stand on my very, very tiptoes, before I could feel Cas' warm breath on my lips. Everything in me screamed at me, to do it. And I couldn't not agree on what they said.

Cas looked at me, slightly surprised but actually not confused, which I was glad for. I leaned in and just in that moment, right when I was about the press my lips on his, to feel his lips on mine, just that tiny moment, Dean walked in with a rolling table.

"Abigail, I'm— oh", he said and stopped and looked at us.

Blushing as crazy, I sank back in my normal position and took awkwardly a step back from Cas.

Never kiss someone when your brother is a room away from you.

"Sorry", Dean said, not so sorry before I opened the door so he could came inside with the table.

* * *

After some hours trying to torture Alistair out the information out of him (which didn't go well), I injected his eye with holy water mixed with salt, which made he scream actually. And God, even though I hated the fact of torturing, I enjoyed torturing Alistair.

Just the fact that we were actually doing it made me grin happily, which scared me.

"Something caught up in my throat. I think it's my throat", Alistair said while coughing up salt and blood.

"Oh, that's sad. Because, me and my bro, we've just started", I said.

"It was supposed to be your father. He was supposed to bring it on. But in the end, it was you two. Or, actually, it was little Abby here, but it was Dean we wanted", he said.

"Bring what on?" Dean asked.

"Every night, the same offer, you remember? Same as your father. And finally, little sweet Abby said 'sign me up' and then pulled up her big brother. Oh, the first time you picked my razor, the first time you sliced into that weeping bitch, that was the first seal", he said.

My gut turned and I got the feeling that I wanted to throw up. It was my fault, not only did Dean have to torture people, I also was the reason that the first seal was broken in the first place.

"You're lying", Dean denied, holding a salted blade in his hand.

"'And it is written, that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break'", he quoted.

"We had to break the first seal before the others. The only way to get the dominos to fall, right? Top of the one in the frontal line. When we win, when we bring on the Apocalypse and burn this earth down, we'll owe it all to you two, Dean and Abigail Winchester."

I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes, not wanting to know any more.

"Believe me, son, I wouldn't lie about that. It's kind of, religious art of thing to me."

"No, I don't think you're lying. But even if the demons do win, you won't be there to see it", Dean said and we both turned, only to find Alistair out from his chains.

I froze, how the hell did he got free?

"You should talk to the plumber about pipes", he commented before he struck down Dean and kicked me in the gut, making me stagger while gasping for air.

He grabbed us in the throat (after hitting us multiple times of course) and lifted us up against the devil's trap.

"You've got a lot to learn. So I'll see you, back in class, bright and early, Monday morning", he said while I started to see black spots.

Suddenly, Cas stabbed him in the chest, which made him drop us. But unfortunately, he didn't die.

"Well, almost. Looks like God is on my side today", he said.

I couldn't catch up more than that. All I could hear was a high pitched sound, which sometimes went to becoming whispers, then the sound again.

But I could still see Cas and Alistair fighting. Even if I knew he couldn't kill Cas by that method, I winced when he pulled Cas into a piece of metal into his throat or back. I started to breathe faster when I saw how Cas grip went limp and how his eyes and mouth started to glow.

I tried to stand up to help Cas, but I could do was crawling closer and closer to them. For every second, Cas started to glow even more. Just then, I reached to him, trying stop Alistair— he was flung away, away from Cas.

Cas slid down the wall, which made it easier for me trying to help him. We helped each other up, me leaning against him for support. But what could I do to help? All I could do was watching my brother torture Alistair with his mind. And it was horrifying.

For just a moment, but I could still see Sam turning until something inhuman… And it scared the shit out of me.

Sam lowered his hand and said something I couldn't hear, with the voices and the high pitched sound in my head. Sam said something again and raised his hand. Suddenly, Alistair started to glow, like demons did when they died, and he slumped down without moving again. I stared at Sam frightened before I limped over to Dean, who was unconscious.

The voices in my head faded and I could hear everything around me again.

I tried to find some pulse in Dean, which I thankfully found, but it was low, too low.

"We have to take him to a hospital. Now!" I demanded.

* * *

Sam and I sat besides each other while watching Dean lie down in the bed at the hospital, breathing quite slow. Sam had told me about what Alistair had said and that made me frustrated. Dean had been mortally wounded for nothing. All those hours… for nothing.

The pain in me started to miraculously fade so it only felt like a very very hard workout training. I had no idea why it was like that, but I didn't care a shit. All I could think about was that it felt like déjà vu, Dean lying in a hospital bed with tubes down his throat.

I could suddenly see a man in a trench coat and realized that it was Cas. Everything felt so blurry. How did the devil's trap not work? Who was killing the angels? And why hadn't Cas healed him? We followed him out to the corridor.

"Sam, Abi—" he started.

"Go in there and heal him", we both demanded, Sam sounding a hell of a lot more angry.

"Miracle, now!"

"I can't", he said.

"What do you mean can't?" I questioned.

"You and Uriel put him there—" Sam growled.

"No."

"— because you can't keep a simple devil's trap together."

"I don't know what happened. The trap.. it shouldn't have broken. I'm sorry", Cas apologized and sounded like he meant it.

"This whole thing was pointless. You understand that? The demons aren't doing the hits. Something else is killing your soldiers", Sam snapped.

"Perhaps, Alistair was lying", Cas hoped, but it sounded false.

"No, he wasn't."

I looked at him and shook my head sadly before I went back to Dean with Sam.

"How did you do it?" I asked quietly him while I held Dean's hand.

It had been hours but still, he wasn't waking up.

"Do what?" Sam asked.

I huffed halfheartedly.

"Don't be stupid. How did you kill Alistair that easily when you couldn't exorcise him at first?"

Sam shrugged.

"I don't know, Abby. Maybe my powers are growing", he said, but I could see he was lying, somehow.

But I didn't want to fight, not after everything.

"Okay, I just wondered… I'm going to get some sleep, I think. Call me if something happens with him", I just said and rose.

I gently kissed Dean on the forehead before I kissed Sam's too before I took the car and drove back to the motel.

I fell asleep the second I touched the bed. And I didn't dream at all, which was comforting.

When I later woke up, I found Cas sitting on my bed, looking worn out, at least mentally. I sat up straight and looked at him worried.

"What happened?" I asked and nodded at him.

"Uriel's dead", he said and sounded a bit sad over it.

I raised my eyebrow. I had never liked him, but still. He had been Cas' brother, sort of.

"Why? What was it?"

"He disobeyed. Wanting Lucifer to rise and killed the angels who refused to stand behind him", he said.

I nodded understandingly before I remembered something.

"Was it true? What Alistair said? With Dean torturing in Hell, did it break the first seal?" I asked.

Cas looked down, not answering for a moment.

"Yes, it is true. We were sent to save you before it happened, but we're too late", he said.

"But why saving us then? We'd already broken it, then why save us?"

"Because it says that the Righteous man will stop it", he responded.

I closed my eyes for a moment.

" That doesn't explain why I'm here and not down there. I'm not the Righteous man and it was my fault that Dean broke the seal in the first place. I'm not even useful in this crap! If I hadn't been so goddamn selfish…"

Cas looked at me sadly.

" It wasn't your fault—"

" Yes, it is! Don't lie" I exclaimed.

" If I hadn't been so weak and let myself torture, the seal would've been saved and we wouldn't be in this crap. Why didn't you leave me as punishment?" I said and felt my view swim.

It was my fault… I didn't deserve to be saved… My fault…

" Don't ever say that again", Cas said harshly.

" You should have left me", I whispered, tears rolling down my cheeks.

" You should have left me to rot."


	10. Books

Dean's snoring was the first thing I noticed when I came out from the bathroom while unclasping the bra.

Sometimes I just wondered how both Sam and I could sleep with that sound. But on the other hand, we had lived with him the last twenty-six years, we had probably adapted.

The other thing I realized was that Cas sat on my bed and stared at me with his puppy eyes.

"Hello, Abigail", he greeted me as his eyes curiously followed my bra's trip from my hands to the floor.

I smiled at him while I asked myself where my pants were. Even if Cas had seen me in this before, it still felt slightly uncomfortable with sitting beside an angel in only tank top and panties.

But unfortunately, I couldn't find them. Typical.

"Hi, Cas", I instead replied and sat down beside him.

"How are you?" he asked.

I shrugged while cringing at the memory without my memories.

Having a crush on Dean, and then kissing him before that Zachariah angel showed up. We both had agreed to never talk about that, ever again.

"Good. Considering that I spent three weeks working as my brother's assistant and believed the Ghostfacers to be pros, but otherwise, good", I said and couldn't help sounding annoyed, something that Cas seemed to take personally.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't allowed to say anything or contact you. My orders were very strict", he apologized and sounded like he truly meant it.

Seeing the angel upset made me feel sad, it was like kicking a puppy while the puppy looked at you with its eyes like it was saying sorry.

"No, Cas. I'm not angry at you. I understand that you were ordered to not say anything or couldn't help. I mean it", I told him softly and rose to watch the night sky through the window.

"You know, I've always liked the night and its stars", I said to him and followed a fallen star with my eyes.

"When I was a kid, I used to climb up on the motel roof while Dad and my brothers were sleeping or away, spending hours, watching the stars, thinking. It calms me, the night", I told.

Cas rose behind me and placed himself by my side.

"I remember watching the first stars being born", he said to me while leaning forward with his hands on the windowsill.

"It was an angel who created them. The Archangel named Jophiel", he continued.

"You should have seen the creation of the stars, Abigail. I believe that you would have found it beautiful. From deep darkness to the whole universe lit up by thousands and thousands of burning lights."

Automatically, I touched the necklace around my neck and smiled at the thought of it.

"How old are you, Cas?" I wondered.

Cas stared out through the window while his eyes seemed to be in deep thought.

"I don't know if I can say in human years, but I'm older than the stars but younger than the creation of what you call the universe", he told.

I whistled lowly in amazement and glanced at him. That dude had kind of seen everything. And didn't look old at all either. Except for the eyes. I could almost see his real age behind his vessel's blue eyes.

"Something tells me that you're older than Gandalf", I joked and smirked.

Cas then took on a very confused face expression, which was adorable.

"I don't understand. Who is this Gandalf?" he wondered cluelessly.

A laugh bubbled up in my throat while Cas still seemed to be trying to figure who Gandalf was.

An ancient angel who was older than the stars, didn't know what Lord of the Rings was.

"Gandalf, he's like this very old guy, older than the Earth. But he isn't real, he's a fictional character in a trilogy of books. He kinda reminds me of Dumbledore, actually ", I said.

"Who is a wizard in a book series", I added when I saw Cas' still puzzled expression.

He nodded slowly while still looking like he tried to keep up with my book references, something that made him look like a puppy who had newly discovered snow.

I smiled slightly, before that smile faltered with me realizing a thing.

"Have you ever lost your memories, Cas?" I asked him softly.

"Angels can't lose their memories, not as full angels", Cas stated.

I nodded and looked at the moon thoughtfully.

"It's like something is missing in you, you have forgotten something but you're still aware that it was something, something that should be there. I felt it the whole time at that office."

The thought made me slightly sad when I thought more about it.

"When Zachariah gave back my memories after that ghost, some of that feeling didn't disappear, but it still felt like it always had been there, ya know?"

Cas' face was hard to read, but I could after a while see that he was surprised too. Either, his bosses hadn't told him something, or it hadn't been the angels. I really hoped that it would be neither of them.

"I have no idea myself, but I don't think you have to worry, Abigail. And I belive you should have some sleep, too", he told me gently.

I took some steps toward the bed, before I turned to look at Cas.

Okay, now or never, I thought.

 **Third person's POV**

"Cas, can you stay?" Abigail asked shyly after she had made herself comfortable in the bed.

When the words came out, she knew she couldn't take them back. And she really hoped that it wouldn't be a 'no', it would be a lot embarrassing then.

But fortunately for her, Castiel had hoped for her to ask him to stay. So that's what he did, nodding shortly as a 'yes'.

"You can sit or lie on the bed, if you want", she said and blushed, the temperature in her face rising slightly.

Castiel went slowly to her bed, careful to hide the eagerness to be with her.

With Abigail's and Castiel's hearts were pounding harder than usual, and the latter was an angel.

Castiel kicked off his shoes (he knew humans didn't wear shoes in the bed) before he carefully got down in the bed, until he was lying beside Abigail, who had already fallen asleep.

But he didn't leave.

He liked being near her, almost feeling himself as her guardian angel. He knew that she didn't need one, she was strong, he had seen that.

But Castiel had also seen Abigail show the weaker side of her, that night for three weeks ago. He had been there with her as she cried, tried to do anything to make her not feel pain.

When the other angels had erased her and her brothers' memories, he had almost been thankful. At least she hadn't felt that pain during that time. And he was well aware that she already felt better. Abigail and her brothers were strong, that was something he'd known for a long time.

Castiel stroke her hair softly— he had always wanted to touch her hair— before placing a small kiss on her forehead, something he'd seen humans do to people they cared about. And he cared about Abigail.

And he cared about her brother too, just not in the same way.

Dean and his sister were so alike, yet so different. But both of them had amazed Castiel and made him question a lot of things he had believed been clear since his creation.

Their brother had also made him question a lot of things. He was carrying demon blood in his veins, yet he loved his siblings with all he had, and would do anything for them. That was the last thing a demon would ever do.

Winchesters, Castiel thought amused while wrapping his wings around Abigail's body like a protecting shield.

* * *

 **Normal POV**

We walked in inside some comic place with the shelves stacked with comic books and so on. The heaven for geeks.

I pulled away a piece of hair I hadn't gotten in with the rest of the typical FBI bun. To be honest, I preferred my usual jeans, flannel shirt and combat boots.

"Can I help you?" the guy behind the counter said.

"I sure hope so. Agents DeYoung, Shaw and Nicks. Just need to ask you a few questions", Dean said and showed him his ID and badge, which was fake of course.

"Have you noticed anything strange in the building the last couple of days?" Sam asked the man.

"Like what?"

"Some other tenants reported flickering lights", Dean informed.

"Uh… I don't think so, why?" he said and looked at us weirdly, which I didn't like.

"What about noises? Any skittering in the walls, kind of like rats?" Sam asked.

"And the FBI is investigating a rodent problem?" the man said skeptically.

"How about cold spots then? Any drops of temperature lately?" I said.

The man looked down before he smiled excitedly.

"I knew it! You guys are LARPing, aren't you?" he said.

I raised my eyebrow, totally confused as hell. Okay, I knew what LARPing was but why did he believe that we were LARPing? Some paranormal comic book?

"Excuse me?" I asked him.

"You're fans!"

"Fans of what?" I asked.

"What is LARPing?" Dean asked which made me roll my eyes at him.

The guy smiled and looked amused.

"Like you didn't know. Live action role playing. And pretty hardcore too", the man said impressed and pointed at our suits.

"Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about", Dean said.

"You're asking questions like the building's haunted. Like those guys and the chick from those books. What are they called? Supernatural", he said.

I stared my brothers weirdly before I turned back to them man.

"Two guys and a chick use fake IDs with rock aliases, hunt down ghosts, demons, vampires. Uh, what are their names? Uh, Steve, Dirk and Amanda? Sal, Dane and Allie?"

"Sam, Dean and Abigail?" Sam offered.

"That's it!"

"You're saying this is a book?" Dean asked and sounded slightly shocked.

And I couldn't do anything but agree with him. That just sounded insane.

"Books. It was a series", the man explained.

"Didn't sell a lot of copies, though. Kind of more of an underground cult following", he added and rose to show us a book.

"That's the first one, I think", he told and handed Dean the book.

On the cover, there were two guys with six pack and long hair and one girl who looked a lot like me (which was creepy), standing by the Impala and looking serious. But I was quite happy that I had my usual awesome leather jacket and my precious silver-ish Beretta in my hand.

To be honest, I looked badass.

"'Supernatural, by Carver Edlund. Along a lonely California highway, a mysterious woman in white lures men to their deaths'", Dean read.

My mouth hung open in shock. How the hell? When had that been? Almost four years ago? This, this was just freaking insane.

"Give me that", I said and took the book out of Dean's hands.

"We want all the copies of Supernatural that you've got", I ordered.

* * *

I sat on my bed while reading one of the books called Tall Tales where we had met the Trickster for the first time.

If it hadn't been about our lives, I would have laughed about when Sam and Dean made fun of the other while telling Bobby about the case. Slow dancing with an alien, it was a good one, I had to admit that.

"This is freaking insane", Dean said and read the book called Route 666, which was about the racist truck we had fixed a few years ago.

And when Dean and Cassie had been having sex.

"How's this guy know all this stuff?"

"Got me", Sam replied to that.

"Everything is in here. I mean everything. From the racist truck to me having sex. I'm full frontal here, guys."

I gagged disgusted and flipped the page, coming to the part where Dean actually talked with the Trickster when we had known he was a Trickster.

"Ugh, remind me to not read that book", I muttered.

"How does it come that we didn't know about this?" I continued.

"They were pretty obscure. I mean, almost zero circulation. Started in '05. Publisher put out a couple dozen before going bankrupt. And the last one, No rest for the Wicked ends with you two going to Hell", Sam said and showed us on his computer.

"Good times", I said.

"Look, there's fans actually, but few. Have you read this?"

"Yeah", Sam said.

I tilted my head and read further.

"But they do complain a lot", I added.

"Listen to this. Simpatico says:

'The demon story is trite and cliched and overall craptastic'. Yeah, well, crew you Simpatico, we lived it", Dean muttered, making me laugh.

"Yeah, well, keep reading. It gets better", Sam said sarcastically.

Oh well, didn't sound good.

"There's Sam girls, Abigail girls and Dean girls… What's a slash-fan?" Dean asked.

"As in… Sam-slash-Dean. Together", Sam said.

I choked on the air as I started to laugh so much tears were streaming down my face. That was the best thing I'd ever read.

Who the hell would want to write fan fictions about us? Really? Hunting, sex, hunting, booze, dying, and so on. Fans…

"Like, 'together' together?" Dean asked horrified.

"Yeah."

"Am I the only one thinking about all the times people believed that I was Sam's sister and you were his boyfriend?" I asked before I let out a new hysterical laughter.

Dean looked at me even more horrified before he turned to Sam.

"They do know we're brothers, right?"

"Doesn't seem to matter", Sam said.

"Aw, come on. That's… That's just sick", Dean wailed.

I was almost rolling on floor now, still laughing.

"Lucky you aren't involved", Dean said disgusted.

"Actually, there's some fan fictions about us three, having a… threesome", Sam added, making me stop laughing and stared at the laptop before closing it completely.

"We have to find this guy", I said.

* * *

After some researching, we found the bankrupt publisher, who was a serious fan. I mean, posters everywhere, the whole place screaming with Supernatural. It was just sick.

"So you published the Supernatural books?" I asked.

Sam, Dean and I were posing as three people writing an article about the books.

Never thought that would happen in my life. Ever.

"Yup, yeah. Gosh, these books…" she began and walked over to a whole shelf of the book, just staring at them.

Thinking about the fact that my life from '05 to '08 was written down in those books, just made me dizzy, so I preferred not to think about it.

"You know, they never really got the attention they deserved. All anybody wants to read anymore is that romance crap. You know, Dr. Sexy MD? Please", she snorted.

"Yeah. But with the article and all that, the series will get the attention they deserve", I stated.

"Yeah. Because, you know, if we got a little bit of good press, maybe we could started publishing again", Sera said excitedly.

"No, no, no. God, no. I mean, why-why would you wanna do that? You know, it's, uh, it's a complete series… what with Dean and Abigail going to Hell and all", Dean protested.

"Oh my God, that was one of my favorite ones", she exclaimed.

"Because Dean was so strong and sad and brave. And Abigail who found out that she'd go to Hell, but didn't say anything until the end", she told.

"And I love her humor."

I looked at my brothers and smirked smugly. They rolled their eyes.

"And Sam— I mean the best parts are when they cry, especially Sam and Dean. You know, like in Heart, when Sam had to kill Madison, the first woman since Jessica he really loved. And in Home, when Dean had to call John and ask him for help", she said and sniffed.

"If only real men were so open and in touch with their feelings", Sera sighed.

I couldn't help but smirk.

"Yeah", I agreed.

"Real men?" Dean questioned skeptically.

Sera turned back and looked at Dean.

"No offense, but how often do you cry like that?"

"Well, right now, I'm crying on the inside", he replied.

Sera looked at him like he had insulted him.

Fans…

"Is that supposed to be funny?" "Lady, this whole thing is funny", Dean responded.

She stared at us suspiciously.

"How do I know you three are legit, hm?" she said.

"Oh, trust me. We, uh, we're legit", Dean said.

"Well I don't want any smart ass article making fun of my boys and girl."

"No, we wouldn't do that. We take the books very seriously", I lied and tried to sound as serious as possible while I actually wanted to laugh.

"Yeah, we are actually, um.. big fans", Sam said.

"You've read the books", she said skeptically.

"Cover to cover", Dean said.

"What the year and model of the car?"

"1967 Chevy Impala", Dean said proudly about his Baby.

" What May 2nd?"

"That's our—" Sam started before I stomped on his foot.

"That's Sam's and Abigail's birthday."

"January 24th is Dean's", Dean added.

"Sam's score in LSAT?"

"One…"

"One seventy four. Everyone said it was scarily good", I continued.

"Dean's favorite song?"

"It's a tie. Between Zep's 'Rambling On' and 'Traveling Riverside Blues'."

"What's Abigail's full name?"

"Abigail Josephine Winchester, named after her mother's best friend."

"What's her favorite food?"

"Salty French fries with BBQ seasoning", I told.

"Who was Abigail's first celebrity crush and when?"

I was silent for a moment. Oh, Sam and Dean would never going to let this down but..

"Leonardo DiCaprio from 'Titanic' when she was 14 years old", I answered and felt a small blush when Sam and Dean looked at me almost horrified.

Sera chuckled pleased.

"Okay, okay. What do you wanna know?" she asked.

"What's Carver Edlund's real name?" Sam asked.

"Oh no. No, sorry, I can't do that", she said and shook her head.

"We just want to talk to know, getting the Supernatural story in his own words."

"He's very private, like Salinger", Sera insisted.

We stared at her 'pleadingly'.

"Please. Like I said, we are…" Sam started and started unbutton his shirt slightly and showed her his anti-demon possession tattoo.

"Big, big fans."

Sam looked at Dean and I and gave us the 'come on' look. I sighed and pulled up my shirt to reveal the tattoo on my left side while Dean only showed half of it annoyed.

"Awesome", she said and laughed slightly.

"You know what?"

She rose and pulled down her her underwear and showed us her tattoo—on her bottom.

Well, I though uncomfortably. At least she wouldn't get possessed.

"I've got one too."

"Wow, you are a fan", Dean said and smirked.

Ugh.

She finally pulled them up and wrote down the author's real name and address.

"His name's Chuck Shurley. And he's a genius, so don't piss him off", she said and handed me the note.

* * *

After having a small chat with Chuck, we later got a part of the story where Sam was having some fun with Lilith, which I couldn't understand why.

So after Dean had picked up me after being covered in flowery patches, he drove to Chuck's house, his whole face turned in anger.

While I, the calm one of us two, sat in one of the chairs while reading a unpublished Supernatural book called Head on a pin. It was about when Dean and I had tortured Alistair, and it also had the part where Cas and I almost kissed.

 _'"I have watched humans do that when someone is sad", Castiel said and smiled, enjoying the the feeling of Abigail's skin under his fingers._

 _Abigail smiled and touched his hand with hers before she stood up on her very very very tiptoes. She cursed herself mentally for being short and not having heels. But her thoughts slowly slipped away as she could feel Castiel's warm and soft breath on her lips._

 _Everything inside her, every fiber, every muscle, every cell, her whole being screamed at her to kiss him, and she couldn't exactly disagree._

 _Castiel looked at her, surprised over the fact that Abigail wanted it._

 _He had seen humans kiss each other and he knew that they did kiss each other when they loved each other._

 _And he wanted her to kiss him. He wanted to feel her soft lips on his. He craved her, craved her touch, her everything._

 _Abigail leaned in, and just when she and Castiel's needs would be satisfied, when they were about to touch, Dean walked in with the tools they needed for the torture.'_

I growled slightly and put away the papers annoyed. So close, damn it. Dean just had to walk in…

The door open and Chuck walked in with some beers and all that. He didn't look surprised at all over the fact that we sat in his home.

Dean then started to yell at Chuck and grabbed him by his shirt and almost slammed him against the wall.

"Dean, stop", I said and tried to pull him away from the scared author.

It wasn't exactly his fault that everything that he wrote down happened.

"How the hell are you doing this!" he shouted at Chuck.

" Dean, let him go", Cas' voice demanded behind us.

I quickly turned and saw Cas stand there, watching us intense.

"This man has to be protected", he continued.

" Why?" Dean asked and sounded pissed.

" I'm sure there's a good reason", I said and glared at Dean annoyed.

Cas didn't seem to listen about what we had said so he just told us why.

"He's a Prophet of the Lord."

I stared at Cas stunned before I turned to Chuck even more stunned. How could that dude be a Prophet of God? He didn't look so saint-like at all.

"You, you're Castiel, aren't you?"

"It's an honor to meet you, Chuck. I admire your work", Cas praised and picked up the book Scarecrow.

Oh, memories. Back in the old days when we only had to hunt pagans, monsters and ghosts…

"Whoa, whoa, what? This guy? A prophet? Come on. He's practically a Penthouse Forum writer. Did you know about this?" Dean questioned Chuck, who was hurrying across the room to grab a bottle of bear and sat down in the armchair.

Cas, on the other hand, was reading the book.

"I might have dreamt about it", Chuck admitted it slowly and poured himself a glass.

"And you didn't tell us, why?" I asked slightly irritated.

"It was too preposterous, not to mention arrogant. I mean, writing myself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That's like -douchiness."

"This is the guy who decides our fate?" I asked (slightly terrified) Cas, who was still reading.

"He isn't deciding anything. He's a mouth piece, a conduit for the inspired word", Cas replied, still reading.

I raised my eyebrow surprised.

"The word? The Word of God?" I asked.

"Like the New New Testament?" Dean said.

"One day, these books will be known as the Winchester Gospel", Cas explained.

"You gotta be kidding me", Chuck, Dean and I said on the same time.

Really?

"I am not kidding you", Cas said and looked up from the book.

"If you will all three excuse me for one minute", Chuck said awkwardly and hurried away up the stairs.

After Chuck left, Dean turned to Cas with a 'seriously?' look on his face.

"Him? Really?" Dean said skeptically.

"You should have seen Luke", Cas replied.

I stared at Cas.

"I don't think so", I said slightly amused by the fact that all prophets weren't saintlike.

"But why did he become a prophet?"

"I don't know how prophets are chosen. The order comes from high up on the celestial chain of command", Cas explained.

"How high?" Dean asked.

"Very."

"So… like, Archangel high?" I asked and showed with my hand how high.

Cas shrugged slowly.

"Well, whatever. How do we get around this?" Dean asked.

"Around what?"

"Haven't you heard? The fact that Sam and Lilith will have some… ugh. Anyways, how do we stop it?" I asked.

"What the prophet has written can't be unwritten. As he has seen it.. so it shall be."

* * *

"Well, I feel stupid for doing this", Dean said while I grabbed a soda can from the vending machine.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

" Pray, I guess. So, I'm fresh out of options. So please", he started and held out his arms.

"I need some help, okay? I'm praying. Come on, please."

The sound of wings were heard and I could feel someone behind me, really close. I turned and found Cas stand very close, like he didn't know what personal space was, again.

"Cas, personal space, please?" I said and tried to keep my voice from shaking.

Cas looked at me apologetically before he stepped back.

"Prayer is a sign of faith. This is a good thing, Dean", he said.

"So does that mean that you'll help us?" Dean wondered hopefully.

"I'm not sure what I can do."

"Drag Sam out of here before Lilith can bang him", I said.

"It's a prophesy. I can't interfere."

I felt betrayal bubble up inside me while I tried to hide a lot of it.

Damn him, we'd done everything he asked for. Hell, we even tortured even though it made us feel like we'd felt in Hell.

And now he couldn't drag away Sam from having sex with Lilith?

"You have tested us and thrown us every which way. And none of us has ever asked for anything. We need your help, please", I pleaded.

Cas looked me in the eye with sadness before he looked at my brother.

"What you're asking, it's not within my power to do", he told and glanced up quickly.

"Why, because it's divine prophesy?" Dean said angrily.

"Yes", Cas said, his voice rising slightly.

"So, what are we supposed to do? Sit here and wait?" I questioned desperately.

We were silent. Cas looked at us guilty. But all I could feel was anger.

Loving him or not, he couldn't just do nothing and I would just kiss his fingers.

"I'm sorry", he said and raised his hand to touch my cheek, but I slapped it away.

"Screw you", I whispered.

"If you don't help us, then trust me, don't even think about asking us something again, cause we won't help."

I brushed past him, feeling frustration gnawing inside me. And now what? Let Sam do what that fucking prophesy had him to do?

"Abigail", he said loudly.

We both turned and looked at him.

"What?" I snapped.

"You must understand why I can intercede. Prophets are very special. They're protected."

"I get that."

"If anything threatens a prophet, anything at all, an Archangel will appear to destroy that threat. Archangels are fierce. They're absolute. They're Heaven's most terrifying weapons", Cas said.

Oh, Cas…

"They're tied to prophets, right?" Dean said.

"Yes."

"So if a prophet was in the same room as a demon…" I began and walked closer to Cas.

"Then the most fearsome wrath of Heaven would rain down in that demon. Just so you understand… why I can't help", Cas said and looked up again.

I smiled slightly, knowing exactly what do.

"Thanks, Cas", I said.

"Good luck", he replied as we rushed to the Impala to get Chuck.

* * *

After some minutes with persuading Chuck to come with us, we drove as fast as hell back to the motel. I kicked up the door to find Lilith on top on Sam, with the demon knife raised.

"I am the Prophet Chuck!" Chuck squeaked out when he rushed inside.

"You've got to be joking", Lilith growled and rose.

She started to walk closer towards us, and I felt for a moment that we were screwed. But suddenly, the whole place started to shake.

"This isn't a joke. You see, Chuck here has got an Archangel on his shoulder", I said and watched as the room started to get filled with pure white light.

"You got some seconds before this room is a room of wrath and you're a pile of dust. So, what'll you choose?" I said and smirked.

Lilith looked at us before she smoked out and left her vessel unconscious. The room became still again, like an Archangel never had knocked on the door.


	11. Stabbed

Some days after the Lilith incident, a guys called us and claimed to be Dad's son. It seemed like Dad had had been doing some fun with some woman (ew, parent sex) and left a son behind, who got eaten by ghouls.

One of them then took on his form and posed as Adam. We found out the truth and headshot the two ghouls before giving Adam a hunter's funeral.

I still couldn't understand why Sam wanted Adam to almost become a hunter. Sure, he had been a Winchester, but that guy had had a life.

* * *

I was sitting on the roof of our old house in Lawrence, Kansas, watching the black sky with stars spread out like someone had thrown glitter on black fabric.

"We need to talk", I could hear Cas's voice say beside me.

I smiled and looked at him sitting beside me.

"Hello, Cas. Something's on your mind?" I asked gently.

"It's not safe here. Something private", he replied and looked quite stressed.

I frowned.

"I'm dreaming, aren't I? And that means that we're in my head", I said confused.

"Exactly. Someone could be listening."

I made a quick mental note to not think about important things near angels. Never knew what they could snap up.

"What's wrong, Cas? Are you okay?" I asked slightly worried.

He took out a note from his trench coat and gave it to me.

"Meet me here. Go now", he said before he disappeared and I woke up.

I quickly started to change before I woke up my brothers.

"Cas talked to me, we have to go, now", I ordered and ripped off the sheets from them.

"Come on, Abster, it's like 1 am", Sam complained.

"Stop wailing", I said and threw my pillow in his face.

"He said it was important, so it's probably Apocalypse-important", I said annoyed and threw their jeans and jackets along with their flannels on the beds.

"Change quickly and meet me outside, I have the keys to Baby."

That made Dean change quickly. He didn't like when I used the Impala when he had the chance to do it.

* * *

Some hours later, we were searching around in some abandoned warehouse.

"What was so important, Abigail?" Sam asked me while we searched for a sign of Cas with our flashlights.

"If I knew, I wouldn't have woken you up. It's something he couldn't say in my head, so I guess it's important", I replied.

We ascended one floor and found the room sparking with electricity. The place looked like a bomb had happened.

Something was wrong here. Definitely wrong. And with that I meant angel wrong.

"What the hell?" Dean muttered.

"Looks like a bomb went off", Sam commented.

I shook my head.

"No, it was a fight", I told.

"Between who?" Sam asked.

"Between the angels, I can feel it", I said.

"Plus— this little beauty" I explained and shined on the angel banishing sigil that had thrown me away once.

"Anna used it once to send away the winged guys", I said.

"So what? Cas was fighting angels?" Sam wondered.

"I don't know, probably", I guessed.

I flashed around before I noticed the familiar trench coat and a man in it— Cas.

"Guys, here", I said and hurried to get to the unconscious Cas.

"Cas? Cas!" I said and shook his body.

Cas opened his eyes, but his face expression didn't look like his, it was with fear. I had never seen him afraid, ever.

"What's—what's going on?" he said, his voice much higher than usual.

A lamp cracked and spark flew around us while Cas sat up and looked quite panicked. Something was really wrong.

"Hey, take it easy", Sam said while Cas clutched at his chest.

No", he said for some reason before he rose and looked at us.

Cas really didn't look like himself, not his face expression, his posture, nothing.

"Are you okay? What happened, Cas?" I asked worried.

"Castiel. I'm not Castiel. It's me", not-Cas said.

I widened my eyes. So that was his… vessel talking?

"Who's 'me'?" Sam asked.

"Jimmy, my name's Jimmy", he said.

I raised my eyebrows and stared at him. This was just fucked up.

"Where's Castiel?" I questioned.

Jimmy shook his head and stared at us.

"He's gone", he responded.

I looked at Sam and Dean— what the hell was happening?

* * *

We were at a motel, watching the Jimmy guy eat a burger— sorry — nine or ten burgers. He didn't have the trench coat on.

And since I was so used to it, seeing Cas' vessel without the coat made me extremely uncomfortable.

"The tenth or eleventh? Slow down, buddy", I said.

"I'm hungry", Jimmy said and shrugged, taking a sip of soda.

"Since when was the last time you ate?" Sam asked.

"I don't know, months", he replied.

We all stared at him while he enjoyed his maybe eleventh hamburger. This was weirder than seeing Dean eating pie, and boy, that was weird. And we were silent, which I hated since I hated awkward silence.

So I slowly scratched the back of my head, trying to figure something out to say.

"What happened? It looked like he and some angels had a fight over there", I said.

"All I remember is there was a flash of light, and I… uh. I woke up and I was just… you know, me again", Jimmy answered.

This just felt weird.

"So what, Cas just ditched out of your meatsuit?" Dean asked.

"I really don't know", he answered honestly.

"So… You remember anything about being possessed by an angel? Like… something?" I asked and pushed away the almost-kiss Cas and I had shared.

"Yeah, bits and pieces. I mean, an angel inside you, it's kind of like being chained to a comet."

I whistled lowly.

"Remind me to not get possessed by an angel", I said.

"Don't worry, you don't need to be reminded", Jimmy replied.

"Anyway, do you know what Cas wanted to tell us?" I questioned and became slightly more serious.

It was hard, considering that it wasn't Cas sitting there.

"Sorry", he said and shook his head apologetically.

"Come on, what do you know?" Dean asked.

Jimmy stopped chewing and looked down thoughtfully.

"My name is Jimmy Novak. I'm from Pontiac, Illinois. I have a family."

Then he told us how Cas had contacted him for the first time. But he couldn't get any longer since Sam and Dean went out to talk. Probably whether we'd send him back home and having him stay with us.

Which left us two, alone.

And it was awkward since I technically was in love with a married man. Kind of.

"So… Do you know who I am?" I asked.

Jimmy thought for a moment.

"You're Abigail, right?" he guessed.

I nodded.

"Do you remember something? Like…. something?"

Jimmy shrugged.

"Kind of. I remember some weird feeling that's hard to describe."

"Oh", was my answer to that.

To be honest, I wished that Jimmy had known more. That sounded quite selfish but I kind of wanted to know what the angel thought about me. I knew that we were kind of of close, and that's it.

"I just thought that—"

"You're in love with him", he suddenly said.

I stopped in mid-sentence and stared at Cas—no— Jimmy.

"Is it that obvious?" I said and smiled slightly.

Jimmy shrugged and smiled friendly but awkwardly.

"Kind of."

"Wow."

We were silent for a moment.

"You know that you aren't human, right?" Jimmy spoke.

The hell? I tilted my head and looked at him confused.

"Huh?"

"Come on. No human can resist that sleeping power or getting thrown by that sigil thing. Only—"

"Angels, I know", I said.

"But I'm not an angel, Dad would have noticed something strange with me then. Like Anna, she freaked out sometimes when she was young. Plus, no one wants me dead. At least not someone from Heaven."

"True."

After some minutes of complete silence (and me stealing some fries from him, he didn't mind), Sam and Dean told Jimmy that he had to stay with us until someday, which he of course didn't like.

So, of course, being the stubborn human being he was, he sneaked away while we slept, which we noticed the day after.

Stupid sleep.

* * *

We were sitting in the car, me of course in the middle while Sam rode shotgun. It was kind of strange that Sam hadn't noticed Jimmy leaving since he had been 'getting a Coke'.

"Hi guys", suddenly Anna said and popped into existence beside me.

Dean let out a short shout (along with me squealing) and swerved slightly, but nothing serious.

I stared at Anna, last time I had seen her, her body had burned up and she had been a huge angel. But somehow, she still wore it.

"Jesus, Anna", I muttered.

"Smooth", she replied to Dean's driving.

"You ever try calling ahead?" Dean said annoyed.

"I like the element of surprise."

I smirked while Dean rolled his eyes. Angel or not, she still had humor.

"You look terrific", Dean complimented.

"Yeah, not the most appropriate, Dean. You let Jimmy get away?"

I could see Dean glance at Sam before he responded to her question. But it was true, it had been his fault. I was sleeping, Dean too, not Sam.

"Talk to Ginormo, here", Dean said and pointed at Sam.

Anna looked at him accusingly while I did it too, sort of.

"Sam. You seem different", she noticed.

I leaned forward toward Sam and could feel something radiating from him, something un-pure but powerful. Something bad.

"Me? I don't know, haircut?" Sam replied and smiled a bit.

"That's not what I'm talking about", Anna said thoughtfully.

Sam's smile faded and he turned back on the road. It was something with him, even I could feel it and I didn't even know a crap.

"So, what'd Jimmy tell you? Did he remember anything?" Anna asked after a moment of silence.

"Why, what's going on?" Dean wondered.

"It's Castiel, he got sent back home. Well, more like dragged back", she answered.

I widened my eyes. That didn't sound good.

"That doesn't sound good", I stated.

"No, that's very bad. Painfully, awfully bad. He must have seriously pissed someone off."

I suddenly became cold. What if Cas was badly hurt? Maybe dying? Anxiousness gripped me in the chest and made it feel like I had a huge stone inside me.

"Cas said he had something to say, something important", I told her.

She widened her eyes surprised.

"What?"

"I have no idea."

"Does Jimmy know?"

"I don't think so."

"You don't think so? Whatever it is, it's huge. You gotta find out for sure", she stated.

"That's why we're going after Jimmy", Sam said.

"That's why you shouldn't have let him go in the first place. He's probably dead already."

With that, she disappeared. And I could swear that I could see the outlines of a pair of pink wings.

* * *

We drove with no pauses at all, and we didn't talk or anything, so me being me, decided to sleep.

This time, I didn't see anything special, just darkness. But I wasn't alone in that darkness. There were others in the darkness too, groaning or screaming in pain. But the screaming wasn't human. It was the high pitched sound of an angel. But it sounded natural to me.

 _"Castiel, showing of emotions is a weakness"_ , another voice said in their language, which I could now understand like English.

If I could have widened my eyes, I would have.

The sound of slicing was heard and I could hear Cas scream with his true voice again. If this would've been in my physical body, my ears would have been sore. Or maybe not. Perhaps, I was beginning to understand whatever language the angels spoke in Heaven.

 _"You only serve Heaven, not any humans! Can't you see, Castiel? I'm doing you a favor for doing this. If I hadn't saved you, you would have ended up just like Lucifer."_

 _"No…"_ Cas panted— could angels pant?— before Cas screamed again, along with me this time.

Someone had stabbed me in the back with a blade of some sort. The pain was agonizing, almost reminding me of Hell.

 _"Hello, my friend"_ , the angel said.

 _"You're not supposed to be here."_

I woke up and gasped for air. That was too realistic for my taste, which probably meant that it happened.

Oh, Cas, what are they doing to you? I thought sadly as Sam turned and looked at me worriedly.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah", I lied and pulled back my hair into a ponytail.

"Just a dream."

* * *

We stopped by Jimmy's house and could almost see the chaos inside. And not only that, the house radiated the sick feeling of something rotten.

I grabbed the demon knife and rushed in and cut off the throat of a demon who was holding Jimmy's daughter Claire in a tight grip.

It glowed before it went limp and fell on the floor. And I was about to kill the demon who was beating Jimmy, when she suddenly rose and looked like she was choking on something. Shocked, I turned and saw it Sam exorcising her.

"Go, get them out of here!" Sam shouted to us.

I ushered out Jimmy and his daughter and ran back in when I saw Sam not being able to exorcise the demon.

I threw the demon knife to Dean, who was standing by her, when she smoked out and left her vessel unconscious on the floor.

Sam looked at us like he couldn't believe that he couldn't exorcise/kill her. I wondered why too. He'd killed Alistair, and now he couldn't exorcise and petty little black eyes?

"Come on", I ordered and grabbed Sam by his arm and ran out with him.

We found Jimmy and Claire standing near each other, but no Mrs Novak.

"Where's your wife?" Dean asked loudly.

"Right here", she said and appeared.

"Hurry", I said and ushered Sam to get in fast so I could sit on his lap, the backseat was full and no way that I was getting into the trunk.

Dean drove like crazy while the rest of us were quiet. And this time, I had nothing against it.

God, I just wished that I knew if Cas was still alive, or if the angel had killed him.

To calm myself, I kept saying to myself that he was alive.

Something was wrong, in the car. I could again feel the presence of demon.

But I pushed it away. It was probably from the fight. And how could I even be sure of my 'ability'? I had newly discovered it.

* * *

After twenty minutes, Dean seemed to have found a safe place. We got out of the car and left Mrs Novak and Claire inside.

"You were right", Jimmy said and glanced at his family.

"I'm sorry we were", Dean replied.

"I'm telling you, I don't know anything."

"I don't think the demons believe you", I said to him.

"Even if they did, you're a vessel. They're still gonna want to know what makes you tick", Sam said.

"That often means dissection, if they're kind", I told.

"I'm going to tell you this again, you're putting your family in danger. You have to come with us."

Jimmy looked wistfully back to his family.

"How long? And don't give me the crossing the bridge crap", he said.

"Don't you get it? Forever. The demons will never stop. You can never be with your family. So you either get as far away from them as a possible, or you put a bullet in your head. And that's how you keep your family safe. There's no getting and out and there's no getting home", Sam said harshly, too harsh according to me.

That guy had almost lost his daughter, he could be a bit more sensitive.

"Don't sugarcoat it, Sam", I muttered sarcastically.

"I'm just telling him the truth, Abigail. Someone has to", he replied.

Something was off with Sam. He'd never had said it like this. If it would have been anyone of us, it'd been Dean, to be honest.

Sam walked away to hotwire some car while Dean and I stood a bit away from Jimmy as he said goodbye to his family.

I couldn't myself know who it was to leave your family like that, but I knew how it was to lose one in your family. And I was happy that Jimmy had made the right choice, even if it wasn't the easiest.

"Something's wrong with Sam", I said lowly.

"You don't say that", Dean replied.

"The way he said that, it wasn't him."

I looked at Dean worriedly.

"I can feel like it's something wrong with him, like demony wrong. And why the hell couldn't he exorcise that demon when he could kill Alistair?" I said.

Dean was about to answer when Sam came back with the car.

"Okay, so, here's your car", Sam said and walked to us while Jimmy said farewell to Claire.

"Something's wrong?" Sam asked and looked like he hadn't heard anything.

I shook my head.

"Nothing", I lied and got inside the car.

Dean started the engine when Jimmy got inside too and drove off.

When Jimmy was asleep, I leaned forward and looked at Sam questionably.

"What the hell happened back there?" I said.

"What?" he asked.

" You almost fainted when you tried to get rid of that demon."

"I didn't faint. I just got a little dizzy", he responded.

I leaned back but kept my eyes on Sam.

"You killed Alistair, the chief torturer, Picasso with a razor, but you can't kill a normal black eyes. What happened with that?"

"What do you want me to say about it?"

"What happened with your mojo? I don't mean to fight, but you're scaring me", I told.

"I'm scaring myself", he quietly replied to that.

We were silent when suddenly, Sam's phone rang.

"Hello? Who is this?" he said before he woke Jimmy.

"Hey, it's your wife", he said handed the the phone to him.

"Amelia?… Oh my God", he said terrified before he handed the phone back to Sam.

I turned and looked at him.

"What did she say?"

" They're possessing my wife. They want me to meet them at some abandoned warehouse, but I'm supposed to go alone", he said.

After Jimmy gave Dean the address, we sped off quicker than you could say 'demon' before we climbed out of the car.

"Alright, there expecting you to come alone. That's exactly what you are going to do", Dean informed.

"We'll work our way through the catwalks. We'll be right behind you", I said and put a hand on his shoulder.

"All you've got to do is stay calm and stall, let us do our job", Dean said.

"You want me to stay calm? This is my family we're talking about", Jimmy snapped.

" Look, they're going to be alright. No one's getting hurt, okay?" I told.

"Yeah, whatever", he muttered before he began to walk away.

"Give me a minute okay?"

I watched him disappear into the darkness. He looked so much like Cas… but still not.

"There's no way they're expecting him to come alone, Dean. You know this is probably a trap, right?" Sam said.

"Yeah, I know. That's why a I have a plan."

* * *

That plan sucked. The demons dragged us inside the building while one of them held the knife.

"Nice plan, Dean", I muttered.

"Yeah well, nobody bats a thousand", he replied.

"Got the knife?" demon-Amelia asked the blond demon who was holding me.

She showed her the knife while looking quite smug.

"And you know what's funny?" demon-Amelia asked.

"You're wearing a soccer mom?" Dean responded.

"Is that I actually bummed to get this detail. Picking up an empty vessel? It sort of like milk run. Now look who landed in my lap", she said and looked at us.

"Yeah, well, lucky you, guys. Now leave them alone", I growled.

"Oh, no, honey. Of course I won't. Now for the punch line. Everybody dies", she said and pointed her gun at us.

I clenched my teeth and readied myself for the shot, when suddenly, she shot Jimmy, something I hadn't been prepared for.

"Waste little orphan Annie", she ordered her minions.

The demon who had hold Sam, nodded and went over to the sleeping Claire and took a crowbar. I started to fight against the demon's grip. No way I would let them kill a child.

"No! She's just a girl!" I screamed at them, without them listening.

The demon swung it when Claire suddenly woke up and put her hand on the demon's forehead. He started to glow like he was getting killed… by an angel.

I elbowed the demon who held me when another demon pulled me down and started to hit me in the face, when suddenly Claire started to smite him.

I rose up and stared at Claire— no, Cas— before I launched at the demon who held Dean pinned against the wall and dragged him away from my brother in order to let Cas smite him.

When the demon was dead, I turned and saw Sam almost lying on the blond demon, who moaned in pain. When he rose, his face was covered in blood. I stared at him horrified.

This was what had made Sam powerful? More demon blood? Like the blood in his system as a baby wasn't enough…

Sam stared at us before he turned and stabbed the demon in the heart and killed her.

All I could think and do was stare at him. He was turning into something that wasn't my brother. This wasn't Sam, not my Sammy.

He suddenly raised his hand and a gasp could be heard behind us. I turned and saw demon-Amelia getting exorcised. Amelia fell on her knees while coughing. Dean quickly rushed to her side to see if she was okay, while my eyes were on Cas and Jimmy. And Jimmy was dying.

"Of course we keep our promises", Cas said with Claire's light voice.

Even with another vessel, I could hear Cas in her. And it seemed like Jimmy had been shouting a bit to him/her.

"Of course you have our gratitude. You served us well. Your work is done. It's time to go home now, your real home. You'll rest forever in the Fields of the Lord. Rest now, Jimmy."

"No!" Jimmy gasped.

"Claire?"

"You're daughter is with me now", Cas explained calmly.

Claire was a kid, she couldn't do that….

"She's chosen. It's in her blood, as it was in yours."

"Please, Castiel. Just— Just take me. Take me, please", Jimmy begged, with tears running down his face and his mouth covered in his own blood.

"I want to make sure you understand. You won't die or age. If this last year was painful for you, picture hundred, a thousand more like it", Cas told.

Jimmy reached out and grabbed Cas' arm and begged to him/her. It felt different to see Cas as a girl when I had known her as a man this whole time. But then again, angels probably didn't have gender, at all. At least no physical, since they called Michael a him and so on.

"It doesn't matter. Just take me. Take me", he pleaded.

"As you wish", Cas responded softly and put her hand on Jimmy's cheek and the room was filled with bright light.

Claire let go of now Cas' face, gasping, while Cas rose and walked past us, only to share a look between himself and Amelia, who had run to Claire.

He then turned and started to walk away. It was then it hit me.

" Cas, wait", I said and hoped that he at least would listen at me.

If my dream was true, then Cas had gone through some serious pain. Just one stab with that thing had made me feel like Hell.

Luckily, he turned but he looked at me with cold eyes, like his emotions were completely gone.

" What was it you were going to tell me?" I wondered.

" I learned my lesson while I was away, Abigail. I serve Heaven, I don't serve man. And I certainly don't serve you", he said with a emotionless voice.

I clenched my jaws together, that was quite the same of what the angel had said to him in the darkness. Cas turned around to leave, when I grabbed his shoulder and turned him so he met my eyes.

" I know what happened up there, Castiel. Do not think I don't", I said so only he could hear.

He didn't react, but I could see a slight spark of shock before it died out and I let go of him so he could leave.

The sound of wings was now accompanied by a pair of transparent yet back wings, before he was gone.


	12. Shatter

We had to lock Sam in Bobby's panic room soon after we had found out about the source of his powers. Not that it was easy. Hearing Sam scream in pain and agony, it felt like a stab wound in my heart every time.

After hours and hours of hearing my twin scream and plead for mercy, Dean and I went out to take a break. And boy, it was a long break. It was mostly because Dean and I shouted for Cas to come. Maybe the angels knew how to help us.

"I can't do this anymore, Dean", I mumbled and looked up.

"Me neither, but we have to do it, for Sammy", Dean said.

"Cas!" Dean shouted.

"Come on, man! Don't be a dick!"

I cupped my hands around my mouth.

"Cas! Please, come down here! We seriously need you!" I shouted up in the sky.

I was about to take another breath of new oxygen, when I suddenly could hear the sound of his wings, and there he stood.

With his robot-like expression, I could see nothing of the Cas I remembered by the car or the motel. It made me sick to think about what the angels had done to him.

"It's about time!" Dean snapped.

"We've been screaming ourselves hoarse for two and a half hours now."

"What do you want?" Cas asked, his voice as dead as his expression.

He started to move closer to us.

"You can start with what the hell happened in Illinois", Dean suggested.

"What do you mean?" Cas lied.

"Cut the crap. You were going to tell Abigail something", he replied.

"Nothing of import", Cas responded.

"Cas, whatever it was, it didn't end well for you because of it. It's probably important then", I said.

I didn't want to mention that he'd gotten tortured, it felt like it wasn't my thing to say.

Cas looked at me thoughtfully before he opened his mouth.

"I can't, I'm sorry."

He walked away from us, his back against us.

"Get to the reason why you really called us. It's about Sam, isn't it?" he said.

"Can he do it? Kill Lilith, stop the Apocalypse?" Dean asked him.

"Possibly, yes", Cas said and turned back.

"But as you know, he has to take certain steps."

I nodded and kept me from shuddering by the thought.

"You mean, fill himself with demon blood?"

"Consuming the amount of blood to kill Lilith would change your brother forever. Most likely, he'd become the next creature you'd feel compelled to kill. This is no reason why this has to come to path. We believe it's you, Dean. With the help of Abigail. Not your brother", Cas said and walked closer.

But something in his blue eyes told me it wouldn't be good.

"The only question for us is if you two are willing to accept it. Stand up, and accept your roles. You two are the ones to stop it."

I stared at Cas. One option was to stick the offer up, let Sam kill Lilith, and him becoming a demon.

But just the thought of it made me sick and disgusted by myself to think that.

And the other option was to sign up to be the angels' bitch. Becoming Heaven's bitch or let your brother ally with a demon, the answer was pretty obvious.

"If we do this, Sammy doesn't have to?" Dean asked hopefully.

"If it gives you comfort to see it that way", he responded.

Dean shook his head.

"God, you're a dick these days", he muttered and walked away a few steps.

"If Sammy won't have to, I'll do it", I said.

"Yes, I'm in."

Dean considered it a second.

"Fine, I'm in."

"You give yourselves wholly to the service of God and his angels?" Cas asked us.

I nodded.

"Yes. Yes", I said while Dean accepted it too.

"Say it", Cas demanded.

I looked at Dean before we said it in unison.

"I give myself wholly to serve God and you guys", we said and somehow said 'you guys'.

"You swear to follow his will and word as swiftly and obediently as you did to your own father's?"

I closed my eyes for a moment. I sometimes hadn't obeyed Dad, but I hoped this would work anyway.

"Yes, I swear."

Cas nodded slightly who staring at us both, which kind of confused me.

"Now what?" I asked.

"Now you wait. We call on you when it's time", he said softly.

Dean looked one last time before he went back inside, while I stayed.

"You didn't tell him", Cas stated.

I tilted my head.

"What do you mean?"

"About what happened, why?" Cas asked.

I shrugged fluidly.

"Not my thing to say", I replied.

We were silent for about ten seconds. It felt quite uncomfortable. Like very uncomfortable.

"How could you know?" he asked me curiously and started to sound more like the Cas I knew, but not entirely.

I furrowed my eyebrows together. That was actually an excellent question.

"No idea. A dream", I admitted.

"Have you heard about something beings able to pull off such things?"

Cas shook his head.

"Not what I ever have ever heard about."

I pressed my lips together and nodded while looking down on the ground. It didn't feel like I would be needed in the stopping of the Apocalypse.

So what? I could see the true form of angels and had the ability to feel the presence of demons, not exactly useful in a full fledged war. Dean had at least the title 'Righteous man' and what I knew, he would be needed.

"Abigail, look at me", Cas said and gently lifted my chin so I met his piercing cerulean eyes.

I always got mesmerized by those blue eyes, knowing that his angelic being looked at me through them made my heart flutter.

He cupped my cheeks with his warm and soft hands and brought me closer to his face. In a silly second, I wondered if Cas had seen people do this a lot.

We were so close now, only a millimeter…. I could feel the warmth of his lips on mine. So close…

Then he drew away.

I looked at him and tried to hide my disappointment while my insides screamed at me to touch him again.

"They're calling on me", he whispered.

"I'm sorry."

I nodded slowly and watched the outlines of his wings appear before his disappeared, while I silently cried out for him, longing for his smooth and gentle touch on my skin…

* * *

Bobby, of course, wasn't happy about that Dean and I had sworn loyalty, but I reminded him about the fact that it was either that, or Sam being buddy with a demon, sorry I meant more than buddies.

I was usually up in Bobby's library and tried to find something about creatures— no, beings, I reminded myself— who could so all the things I had done. So far, the closest was Nephilim, the offspring of a human and an angel mating, which I strongly disbelieved that I was. Sam and I were twins and he wasn't exactly like I was and Mom wouldn't have been unfaithful to Dad.

And Cas had probably heard of Nephilim too.

Sam later escaped but Dean and I managed to track him down to a honeymoon suite, which wasn't Sam's taste at all.

And there was the bitch who had ruined my brother's life: Ruby.

I charged at her with a holy water dipped dagger in my hand and stabbed her in the arm. She let out a howl of pain and kicked me away, only to get attacked by Dean and the demon knife. He was so close at ending her life, when Sam showed up and stopped him.

"No!" he exclaimed and grabbed Dean from behind and threw him onto the bed.

"Let her go. Just take it easy", he said while I stood beside Dean this time.

"You two seem to have had a bit of a party, considering that you've tried to prevent us from crashing it", I stated and directed the most of my words at Ruby, but also Sam.

"Well, a solid try, but here we are", Dean added.

"Dean, Abigail, I'm glad you're here. Look, let's just talk about this", Sam said calmly.

"As soon that she's dead we can talk all you want", Dean said.

I shot daggers at Ruby, who glanced at Sam with a expression I couldn't categorize.

"Ruby, get out of here", he said to here.

"No, she's not going anywhere", Dean said and walked toward her, but Sam blocked the path and gave Ruby time to leave.

I stared at him horrified.

"She's poison, Sam!" I cried out.

"It's not what you think, Abigail", he said.

"Look what she did to you! She leaves you like that for weeks and then suddenly pops up again—"

"She was looking for Lilith!"

"That is French for ten ways to manipulate your ass ten days from Sunday", Dean snapped angrily.

"You're wrong."

"Sam, you're lying to yourself", Dean said frustrated.

"We just want you to be okay. You would do the same for me, for Abby, I know you would."

"Just listen", Sam began and threw the demon knife on the bed.

"Just listen a second. We got a lead to a demon close to Lilith. Come with us. We'll do this together", Sam seemed to plead.

"That sounds great. As long as it's you, me and Abby. Demon bitch is a deal breaker. You kiss her goodbye, we can go right now", Dean said.

"I can't. Dean. Abby, I need her, to help me kill Lilith. I know you can't wrap your head around it, maybe, one day, you'll understand", Sam said.

"I'm the only one who can do this, guys."

I shook my head slowly. Why couldn't he understand that demon blood wasn't the solution? Why couldn't he see that it was eating him from inside out?

"No, you're not the one who's gonna do this", Dean said after had turned away and turned back.

"That's right, I forgot. The angels think it's you", Sam muttered and sounded like he was tired of hearing it.

"You don't think I can? With Abby?" Dean asked, his voice taking on a dangerous tone.

"No, you can't. You two aren't strong enough", Sam stated.

"Who the hell are you?" Dean almost growled.

"I'm being practical here. I'm doing what needs to be done."

"Yeah? You're not going to do a single damn thing", Dean said and sounded more angry.

"Stop bossing me around, Dean!" Sam exclaimed frustrated, before he tried to calm himself down.

"Look. My whole life, you've take the wheel, you called the shots and I trust you because you're my brother. Now, I'm asking you, for once, I'm asking you both, trust me", Sam practically begged.

I shook my head.

"No, you don't know what you're doing, Sam", I said.

"Yes, I do", he protested and looked and was extremely hurt, I could see that miles away.

But the demon blood, Ruby, it wasn't right. It wasn't.

"Then that's worse", Dean exclaimed.

"Why? Look, I'm telling you—"

"Because it's not something that you're doing, it's what you are!" Dean said loudly with tears.

"It means…"

He broke off, but I knew exactly what he meant. And I didn't want hear him say that. I couldn't. I swallowed and tried to fight the upcoming tears, but failed.

"What? No. Say it", Sam said, also crying.

"It means you're a monster", Dean told hoarsely.

Sam nodded before he punched Dean in the face. Dean fell down on the floor but seemed 'fine', if fine even existed for us. He rose and stared at Sam, who was looking strange.

Dean then punched Sam in the face, making him grunt.

"No!" I screamed and tried to separate my brothers from each other.

But it was with no luck, they were much bigger and stronger than me, plus they were two. Dean pushed away me with so much force, it made me land against some thing made of glass, with some glass shard stuck inside me.

Sam then knocked Dean into the mirror, which shattered like thin ice.

He lunged for Sam, who flung him into the vine-like screen and broke something. I quickly kneeled over Dean, worried if he had any serious wounds. Sam walked over to us and suddenly knocked me over and wrapped his hands around my throat. I tried to get free, but Sam's grip was tight as iron.

"No!" Dean croaked out and tried to help me, but Sam let go, making me choke and gasp for air.

"You don't know me, none of you do. You never did. And you never will", Sam said and began to walk out.

"You walk out that door— don't you ever come back!" Dean gasped.

I let out a small whimper while it felt like my spine was freezing yet boiling, Dad had said exact same thing for almost eight years ago. It felt like I was ripped back to that place, seeing Dad and Sammy yell at each other, before he stormed out.

Sam stopped by the door and turned to look at us— he didn't look like Sammy, not my Sammy— before he opened the door and left us, again.

"No", I whispered and tried to rise, but couldn't.

It felt like someone had ripped my heart out and thrown it on the floor before painfully sewing it back in. Sammy was gone, it wasn't him. Not anymore.

I buried my face in the floor and let my tears fall freely.

 **Quick note: If you see some spelling or when I write 'defiantly' instead of 'definitely', please tell me. Every time I noticed that little word, it bugs me out.**


	13. Worth dying for

"Dean, Abigail, did you listen to a word I said?" Bobby questioned annoyed while I stared blankly at the ceiling.

It wasn't that I hated Sam, I just felt betrayed and hurt, like a never healing stab wound. A wound which kept pumping out misery and ache, always reminding me of what Sam had said.

 _'You don't know me, none of you do. You never did. And you never will.'_

How could I call him after what he had done? But mostly, I was frightened. Frightened to even think about calling him. It was enough with everything now, calling him felt like jumping down in the Pit again.

"Yeah, I heard you", Dean muttered.

"I'm not calling him", we said on the same time.

I didn't know exactly how Dean felt about this, but I was sure it felt like it felt for me, even worse, since it was him who had had to take the fight and not me.

But why not me? Because I was a coward. That was what I was.

"Don't make me get my gun."

"We are damn near kickoff for Armageddon. Don't you think we have a bigger fish for the moment?" Dean snapped irritated.

"I know you're pissed or hurt. I'm not making apologizes for he's done, but he's your—"

"Blood. Our blood, it's that what you were going to say?" Dean said coldly.

"He's your brother, and he's drowning."

I sighed.

"Bobby, we have tried everything to help him, and look what happened", I said and gestured with my hand.

"So try again", Bobby responded like it was obvious.

But it was easy for him to say, he hadn't been there, seeing the rottenness in Sam's eyes, feeling the un-pure thing radiating off him.

" It's too late", Dean said and started to walk away.

"There's no such thing—"

"No! Damn it! No. We've got to face the facts. Sam never wanted to be a part of this family. He hated this life growing up, ran away to Stanford the first chance he got. Now it's like déjà vu all over again. I am sick and tired of chasing after him. Screw him, he can do what he wants", Dean snapped and sat down beside me.

"You don't mean that", Bobby said while my feelings just swum around, hard to explain but nothing good.

"Yes, I do, Bobby", Dean said lowly.

"Sam is gone. He's gone. I have no idea if he's our brother anymore, if he ever wanted to be", I mumbled.

Where I got the words from, I had no idea. They just… came out.

Bobby started to breathe heavier before he turned around and dragged down all the things on his desk in a single swipe.

I looked up baffled and slightly terrified, I had never seen Bobby that angry before, or maybe when he threatened to shoot Dad.

"You stupid, stupid, sons of bitches!" he snarled at us furiously, making us stand up stunned.

"Well, boohoo! I am sorry your feelings are hurt, princesses. Are you two under the impression that family is supposed to make you feel good— bake you an apple pie maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable, that's why they're family!"

"I told him: 'you walk out that door, don't come back', and he walked out anyway. That was his choice!" Dean growled, while I just stared at them both, emotionally constipated if you said it like that.

Because, what could I say?

"You sound like a whiny brat", Bobby muttered.

Dean started to walk away while I walked toward the wall and leaned against it, arms crossed.

"No, you sound like your dad. Let me tell you somethin'. Your Dad was a coward", he stated.

Dean turned and looked at him skeptically.

"Our Dad was a lot of things, Bobby, but a coward?"

"He rather pushed Sam away than reached out to him. That don't strike me as brave. You two are better persons than your daddy ever was. So you do all of us a favor, don't be him", Bobby almost begged.

I opened my mouth to say anything, when I realized I had nothing to say against it. Bobby was right, it was wrong to push our brother away, and still, we'd done it.

Frustrated, I covered my face in my hands and let out a deep sigh, before I took away my hands and noticed that Dean and I were in a huge white room while paintings and statutes, you name it.

The place looked like it had sprung to life from a book about antique places.

"Wow", I breathed out and went to see the painting of the Archangels.

They looked quite pompous there, and they probably were it in real life too, I thought slightly amused.

"Hello, Dean, Abigail", a familiar voice said.

I turned and saw Cas stand behind us a few feet.

"It's almost time", he said and didn't look so happy about it.

I widened my eyes slightly but nodded, this was it. We were going to kill Lilith.

* * *

How beautiful this room was, I had no idea what to do. To do something, just something, I looked at the pompous Archangels (minus Lucifer) again and tried to remember who they were again. Michael was obvious, the pompous of the pompous, Raphael, Gabriel and, of course the star creator, Jophiel.

She looked too pompous and snobby for her own sake.

"Abby, look at this", Dean said wearily.

I turned and looked at the former empty table, which was now filled with beer, cheeseburgers and of course, salty French fried with BBQ seasoning. Carefully, we neared it before Dean lifted up a bottle and eyed it.

"Hello, you two", another familiar voice said.

We turned and saw Zachariah stand in the room with Cas behind him.

"You're looking fit, both of you", he complimented.

We both stared at them before Dean put the bottle back.

"How about this? The suite life of Zach and Cas", he joked.

Zachariah looked down on the floor puzzled and looked up at us again. I raised my eyebrow, not him either? What was it with angels and pop culture?

"It's a… never mind", he said, making me smirk somewhat.

"What is this? Where the hell are we?" I asked and gestured to everything in this room.

"Call it a greenroom. We're close in of the grand finale here. I want to keep you safe before showtime. Try a burger or some fries. They're your favorites. From that sea shack in Delaware. You were eleven and seven, I think", he said and offered me a box of fries and Dean a burger.

I shook my head.

"I'm not hungry", Dean muttered.

"No?" he said before he put them away.

"How about Ginger from season 2 Gilligan Island? Her you have a thing for, don't you?"

Dean considered it.

"Tempting. Weird", he responded.

"We throw in Marie Ann for free", Zachariah suggested.

"No, you're not gonna tempt my brother with some girls, here. We want to know the plan", I said and imagined terrified Sam using his powers to kill Lilith and turning into a demon.

"Let us worry about that. We want you two focused, relaxed", Zachariah replied.

"Well, I'm about to get pissed and leave, so start talking, sucker", I sneered annoyed.

Zachariah sighed and went behind us slowly.

"All the seals have fallen, except one", he said seriously.

"Wow, way to keep your image as protectors", I muttered.

"You think sarcasm is appropriate, do you? Considering… you started all this", he respond and turned so he met our faces.

I pressed my jaws together and held a straight face, while on the inside, I felt anger. Low blow, dude.

"The last seal… it'll be different", Zachariah explained and patted my shoulder on his way back to Cas, who looked extremely stiff.

"Why?" I wondered and turned to look at the two angels.

"Because Lilith has to break it. She's the only one who can. Tomorrow night, midnight."

"Where?" Dean demanded.

"We're working on it."

"Well, work harder", Dean said.

"We're doing our job, you two just make sure you do yours", Zachariah replied.

"Yeah, and what is that exactly? I will be the one who stops her. How? The knife?" Dean questioned skeptically.

"And what am I going to do? Sit on a bench and cheer while Dean guts her?" I said.

"All in good time", he just responded.

"Isn't now a good time?" Dean asked bothered.

"Have faith."

"In what? In you? Right, just give us a reason why and we will put our faith in you", I snorted.

Zachariah's 'friendly' expression left his face when he neared us.

"Because you swore your obedience. So obey", he said coldly.

I raised my chin while I looked at him coldly, before I looked at Cas with my gaze much softer. He met my eyes for a moment before he looked down on the floor again.

Something was wrong. And what the hell did he mean with that only Lilith could break the seal? Her blood? Her eyes? Her tendency of using little girls as meatsuits and creeping us out?

Zachariah and Cas left while Dean and I just were. What else could we do?

* * *

I fiddled with my phone, wondering if I would send Sam a message or not.

"Oh, I'll do it", I muttered and thought about Bobby when I called him.

 _"It's Sam, leave me a message."_

I sighed before I began.

"Hey, Sam. Listen… I'm not mad at you for what happened. Or well, yeah, I am since I watched you and Dean… you know. This last year, I'm sorry for not being your twin as we always used to. You know, with not telling you about Hell and all that… I could have told you that, that you could talk to me whenever you wanted and about everything. I'm sorry for that. But we're family and we all stick together. I love you, Sammy", I said slowly before I hung up and sat down in a couch which suddenly materialized from nothing.

I closed my eyes for a minute and slept for an hour or two, that was before Dean of course tilted the statuette of a female angel.

"Seriously?" I muttered.

Dean shrugged.

"What else can I do here? If you haven't noticed, we don't exactly have a pool table or something", Dean said.

"You asked to see me", Cas said, who had suddenly appeared.

I rose up and walked closer to Cas and Dean.

"Yeah, uh, I need something", Dean said.

"Anything you wish", Cas replied, sounding like a slave, which he perhaps was.

"I need you to take us to Sam", Dean ordered.

"Why?"

"I gotta talk to him about", Dean responded.

"What's that?" Cas asked.

"The B.M. I took this morning, what is it to you? Just, make it snappy", Dean said, making me roll me eyes.

"I don't think that's wise", Cas said and looked away.

"Well, I didn't ask for your opinion", Dean replied.

"Have you forgotten what happened last time you met?"

I shook my head slightly annoyed.

"Of course we haven't, and that's why we want you to take us there", I responded.

"Look, just five minutes with him and we will do whatever you say. Please."

Cas looked at us for a moment before he answered.

"No", he said.

I raised my eyebrow suspiciously.

"Are we trapped here?"

"You can go wherever you want", Cas reassured us.

I slammed my hands together.

"Wonderful, then take us to Sam", I said, but knowing that we wouldn't.

"Except there", Cas replied.

"I want to take a walk with Dean", I stated.

"And I'll go with you", Cas said.

I sighed, if this hadn't been for not trying to see Sam, I would have taken the chance immediately.

"Alone", Dean added.

"No."

I looked him even more annoyed before I went past him.

"You know what, Cas? Screw this, I'm leaving", I said and headed for the door.

"Through what door?"

I turned and looked at him confused before I turned back and saw that the door was totally gone, like it never had been there, along with Cas. I hated angel mojo, sometimes.

"Damn it!" I growled before I grabbed something that looked like an antique and very old vase, and threw it against the wall.

* * *

After an hour of throwing some metal thingie, Zachariah told us about that they never wanted to stop the Apocalypse in the first place. That son of a bitch.

He then told us that we still played some big role in this shit even if it was the Apocalypse.

According to him, we were going to stop Lucifer. And that made me think, how the hell were we going to stop Lucifer?

The worst was that they had deceived Cas, kind of all angels, that it had been God they had taken orders from, when he in fact was gone. Just, gone.

I tried to call Sam a million times, with no effect. The signal was dead on high level.

"You can't reach him, Abigail. You're outside your coverage zone", Cas explained.

"What are you going to do with Sam?" I asked coldly without turning to look at him.

Couldn't he do anything about this? Anything? I knew what had happened up there, but a big part of it was because of him believing in God. And God wasn't the boss, and probably hadn't been for a good while.

"Nothing. He's going to do it to himself", Cas answered rather shortly.

I frowned thoughtfullt.

"And with that, you mean?" I asked.

Cas was silent and looked down.

"Oh, right, right, got to toe the company line", Dean replied acidly.

"Why are you here, Cas?" I asked quietly.

"We've been through much together, we three", Cas said and locked eyes with me.

And the second we did, it felt like we couldn't look away. His eyes were like two blue magnets, lovely and unable to not look at.

"And I just wanted to say that I'm sorry it ended like this."

I teared away my eyes from his, it would happen. Sam was going to either die, or become something he wasn't. And we couldn't do a single thing to stop this.

"Sorry?" Dean echoed dangerously.

It was silent for a moment, before Dean punched Cas in the face, making him just turn his face while Dean seemed to have hurt his hand.

Pro tip: Do not punch angels in the face, you get more hurt than them.

"It's Armageddon, Cas. You need a bigger word than 'sorry'", he scolded with his back turned against Cas.

"Try to understand. This is long foretold. This is your—"

"Destiny? Is that what they're telling you? Can't you see, it's just a way to control everyone in Heaven, you poor stupid sucker! God's not even here, he left us! You know what's real? People, families - that's real. And you're just gonna watch them all burn?!" I almost yelled at him, tears burning in my eyes.

But I didn't let them fall, not this time.

"What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace. Even with Sam", Cas said and walked much closer to us.

I buried my nails into my hands before I looked at him with a look harder than stone.

Loving him or not, I couldn't just let Sam become this. And in paradise, angels would rule the whole shit and with that, sayonara freedom.

"You can take your peace... and shove it up your ass. Because I'll take the pain and I'll take the everything crappy that has happened in my goddamnded life. Hell, I'll even take Sam as a blood junkie. It's a lot better than being some bitch in Paradise! This is simple, Cas! No more crap about being a good soldier. There is a right and there is a wrong here, and you know it!"

Cas turned away, but I grabbed his arm and turned him so he could me my face.

"Don't you dare look away from me, Castiel!" I screamed right up in his face, something that made him flinch.

If it was because of me using his full name or me screaming, I had no idea.

"You knew about this, you were going to warn me about everything, before they did what they did to you. So help me now, please."

Cas took a deep breath before he looked in my eyes.

"What would you have me do?"

"Take us to Sam. We can stop this before it's too late", Dean told.

"I do that, we all will be hunted. We will all be killed."

I took a deep breath.

"If this isn't something worth dying for, then what is? This is it, Castiel. This is the right thing", I begged.

Cas looked down and shook his head. I closed my eyes betrayed and stopped the tears from dropping before I snorted halfheartedly.

"You spineless, disgusting, son of a bitch", I whispered.

"What do you care about dying? You're already dead. We're done", I said before my voice broke and leaned against the wall with my hand working as support.

"Abigail…" Cas started, his voice full of hurt.

"We're done", I repeated more clearly.

The sound of wings was heard, and I knew he was gone.


	14. The beginning of the end

What have I done? I have done the right thing, I told myself over and over again.

I'm right, this is worth dying for. If only he could only see that….

While I told myself that, trying to convince myself, my heart felt torn and broken into small shreds.

"Abby, look, even though it feels crap, you did the right back there", Dean said while I buried my face in my hands, sitting on the floor against the wall.

"I know", I murmured.

"It just makes it worse."

Dean sat down beside me and dragged me into his arms, his hands gently on my hair.

"You really do love him, don't you?" he asked.

I nodded, my face in his chest, while I tried to breathe as normal as I could. It hurt in me, it had never hurt like this, not even the time when I had been sixteen and…. well, a story for a another time.

"What do you think Sammy is doing right now?" I asked, saying it exactly as I had done while Sam had run away to Stanford.

"Dunno, probably believing he's doing the right thing", Dean mumbled.

We were silent, just sitting like that for minutes, perhaps hours, before I rose.

"I think I'm going to take those damn fries", I mumbled and reached for a box while Dean rose to grab a burger. Just before I could open the box, someone grabbed me from behind and shoved me and Dean against the wall, with his hands covering our mouths. Cas!

He slowly let go of me and pulled out a knife from his pocket. Something in his eyes told me that I could trust him. I gave Dean a nod before Cas let go off him too and bared his arm and made a deep cut in it. Did it work with angel blood?

He put it away and used his other hand to draw the sigil. I just stood there frozen, I couldn't figure this out, why did he suddenly do it?

"Castiel", Zachariah said behind us.

We all turned and found a pissed angel standing by the painting of Michael and Lucifer.

"Do you mind explaining what the hell is going on?" he demanded and walked toward us, before Cas activated the sigil and made Zachariah disappear and me thrown away onto the floor.

Being whatever that-is-kind-of-an-angel sucked.

"He won't be gone long. We have to find Sam now", he said as I rose quickly.

"Where is he?" Dean demanded.

"I don't know, but I know who does. We have to stop him, from killing Lilith", Cas told and handed Dean the knife.

"But Lilith's going to break the final seal", I stated and frowned.

"Lilith is the final seal. She dies, the end begins."

I widened my eyes, but still wasn't very surprised. It explained what Lilith meant with she not surviving. Made sense now, kind of.

"You have to take us to whoever knows", I said urgently.

Cas put his hands on our foreheads (his bloody on mine actually, but never mind) and flashed us to… Chucks's house, where he was talking to some woman at the phone. I wiped away the blood from my forehead and quickly used a piece of paper to wipe it off my hand.

"Lady, sometimes you've got to live like there's no tomorrow", he said, making me think that he knew what was gonna happen.

He then noticed us and widened his eyes stunned.

"Wait, this isn't supposed to happen. No, lady, this is definitely supposed to happen, but I just gotta call you back", he told and hung up.

"Right."

"Where is Sam?" I demanded.

Chuck stare at us shocked before he rushed to take the papers and then gave me them. I flipped through the pages, seeing something that looked like a phone message, but it wasn't mine, but it said it was my voice.

Zachariah, I growled in my mind.

"St. Mary's? Is that a convent?" I asked him.

"Yeah. But you guys aren't supposed to be here. You're not a part of this story", Chuck said.

"Yeah, well… we're making it up as we go", Cas replied, making me smile hopefully at him.

The computer suddenly started to sound weird before I could hear the sound of an angel outside, with the light and all that.

The Archangel didn't make a sound as it kind of shouted or screamed, it just… sounded.

"Oh man, not again!" Chuck exclaimed as the cups and a lot of things fell down on the floor and shattered.

"It's the Archangel! I'll hold them off. I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!" Cas shouted and touched Dean's head and flashed him away.

Cas turned to do the same for me, when I didn't think, I just did, and kissed him. I had no idea how long the kiss was, but it was euphoric. Our lips moved like one, and I could feel his hands cupped around my face. After a minute, an hour, or a day, we pulled away.

"I love you", I breathed out.

He stroke my cheek gently, a smile tugging at his lips.

"I love you too."

And suddenly, I was in a church, along with Dean.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded, but doubted Cas was. Suddenly, I could hear a woman scream.

"Come on!" I said and ran for the scream's source.

And there they were, Lilith against the stone wall, and Sam and Ruby standing with their back against us. Ruby turned and noticed us, before she smiled and closed the door with her mojo.

"No", I growled and ran straight for the door as I heard Lilith scream in pain.

"Sam!" Dean and I screamed and punched the door with all our might.

We had to get to him, now and quickly.

"SAMMY! Sam!"

"What are you waiting for!? Now! Just do it, damn it!" I could hear Ruby scream on the other side.

"Sam!"

"Sam, now!"

"Sammy, stop!" I screamed and tried to kick the door, everything.

And suddenly, it was silent on the other side. Nothing. Just nothing.

"Get something, we have to break it, now!" I ordered before I went and found a huge metal thing and hit the door over and over again.

All I wanted was to get to Sam. I just wanted to get to Sammy. And somehow, I got the door open. I stomped inside, with Dean beside me, seeing red.

Ruby knew, she had known all the time what was going to happen.

"You're too late", Ruby taunted.

"I don't care", we growled before Sam snatched her arms behind her back and held held back.

My hands suddenly pulsed with energy as I grabbed her my throat my instinct as Dean stabbed her. And suddenly, something strange, like really strange happened. The light that showed when a demon died was still there, but there was also, there was pouring out white light from her mouth and eyes.

I widened my eyes stunned, but didn't let go. Dean twisted the knife and yanked it out as I released my grip on her like I had burned myself. It felt like I had done it. I looked on my right hand just to be sure.

And there it was, a slight burn mark which was slowly healing.

Ruby slumped down on the floor, with her eyes staring without seeing. She was dead, and the Cage was open.

I stared at Sam, who looked heartbroken.

"I'm sorry", he whispered.

I closed my eyes and opened them, only to feel exhaustion overwhelming me. If Sam hadn't caught me, I would be down on the floor.

"What the hell was that?" Dean said stunned.

"I have no idea", I whispered as I steadied myself, when the whole place started to shake.

We all turned and saw the ring of blood open up in the middle, spitting out pure white light.

"Sammy, Abby, let's go", Dean said and grabbed our jackets.

"Dean…. he's coming", Sam whimpered as I saw something huge rise from that ring.

"Come on!" Dean exclaimed and we hurried to the door, which suddenly closed.

"No!" I screamed as we desperately tried to break it.

Lucifer let out a high pitched sound, which Sam and Dean covered their ears for, but I could hear it, like it was my native tongue. It only created one word: Yes!

The light opened up to the very edge of the blood cage and for a slight moment, I could see the tips of his wings….

And then…. we sat on an airplane. I sat between my brothers, who still covered their faces. I looked up, and some child movie was on, about the Devil. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes at the irony when Sam and Dean lowered their arms.

"What the hell", Dean gasped.

"I don't know", Sam said.

"Folks, quick word from the flight deck. We're just passing over Ilchester then Ellicott City, on out initial descent to Baltimore Washington", the pilot said.

I raised my eyebrows.

"Weren't we just there?" I questioned suspiciously.

"So, if you'd like to stretch your legs, now would be a good time to— Holy crap!"

I looked out and gasped. Where the church was, a huge spear of light shot up, and the plane started to rumble.

Lucifer was really free, I thought horrified and reached for a mask and started to breathe through it quickly.

I looked out again and saw a huge being rise and fly away. And goodness, Lucifer was really beautiful. The Bible hadn't lied or exaggerated or anything.

* * *

We made it, the plane didn't crash and we still wondered how we could get away like that. Dean still was hurt since the thing at the motel, I could see it.

Not that I wasn't, of course I still was hurt. Of course I had doubts with trusting Sam.

But none of us tried to think about it. First, we had to get to Cas and Chuck and see if they're okay. A freaking Archangel had been there, something must have happened then. And it had.

The first word that popped up in my head when I saw the house was 'blood'. It was blood everywhere, and I really hoped that neither Cas or Chuck had been hurt, or worse.

We looked around in the kitchen, when we suddenly heard a sound in the living room. Sam walked slowly into it, and got hit by a bloody Chuck.

Seriously, he was bloody. And no Cas with him….

"Ow!" Sam exclaimed and rubbed his head.

"Sam?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, Chuck", Dean said.

"So, you're okay", Chuck said stunned and looked like we had come back from the dead.

Wow, haha, good joke there.

"Well, my head hurts", Sam replied, making me roll my eyes.

"No, I mean— I mean, my last vision. You went like, full on Vader. Your body temperature was 150, your heart rate was 200. Your eyes were black!" Chuck told us.

I widened my eyes. Black eyes equals demon. Demon equals a extremely tainted and rotten soul. What the hell, Sam?

"Your eyes were black?" I repeated.

Sam looked at me and Dean in guilt before he answered my question.

"I didn't know."

I didn't reply to that. Instead, I looked at Chuck again. Where the hell was Cas?

"Where's Cas?" I wondered.

Chuck's face changed from relieved to sad. And I was suspected why, but it didn't have to be true. Maybe he got hurt and disappeared somewhere.

"He's dead."

"Or gone. The Archangel smote the crap out of him. I'm sorry", Chuck apologized wistfully.

"Are you sure? He maybe just vanished into some holy light", I hoped and noticed how desperate my voice sounded.

He couldn't be dead, he couldn't be dead….

"No. He like exploded, like a water balloon full of chunky soup", Chuck replied.

I stared at the blood around me, before I suddenly started to laugh hysterically. Sam, Dean and Chuck stared at me horrified, but I didn't care. I just laughed.

"So, I'm actually standing in Cas' guts and blood. Just… wonderful", I said before I broke into laugher again.

And that laugher turned into sobs, and my sudden denial-cheeriness turned into agony in my body.

"No…" I muttered for myself.

"No…"

"This has been a very stressful day", Chuck sighed before he dropped a molar on the floor.

"Cas, you stupid bastard", Dean muttered while Sam wrapped his arms around me.

"Stupid? He was trying to help us", Sam said while he stroke my hair.

It was so damn cold here. Too cold. I picked my my knife and cut my hand slightly, so blood started to roll down my fingers. Without anyone noticing, not even Sam, I drew the angel banishing sigil on the door before I closed it. And somehow, no one noticed.

"Exactly", Dean replied.

"So what now?" Sam asked.

"I don't know."

"Oh crap", Chuck swore.

"What?" Dean wondered

It was then I felt it, the angels. The angels were here.

"I can feel them, the angels", I mumbled.

Suddenly, Zachariah and two other angels appeared. And I saw something I had never seen before, six wings, on one douche, oh sorry, angel I meant. And that was Zachariah. They were pretty, quite greenish or bluish.

The other angels had red and the other brown.

"Thought I'd find you here", Zachariah said.

"Playtime's over, Dean and Abigail. Time to come with us."

I ripped away from Sam and stood between Dean and the angels.

"You stay the fuck away from us, you son of a bitch", I growled.

It was enough with that Cas was dead, Zachariah and the God squad coming didn't make the things better.

"You're upset", Zachariah stated.

I made a low sound down my throat.

"A bit. Considering Castiel is dead and it's your fault that the Judgement day is on now", I snapped.

" Maybe we let it happen, but we didn't start anything. Right, Sammy? You had a chance to stop your brother but you couldn't. So let's not quibble over who started what. Let's just say it was all our faults and move on. 'Cause, like it or not, it's Apocalypse now. And we're back on the same team again", he said, not stating anything about poor Cas.

"Is that so?" Dean said and narrowed his eyes.

" You want to kill the Devil and we want to you to kill the Devil. It's synergy", he stated.

"And we're supposed to trust you? Stick it where the sun shines, dickface", I growled.

Zachariah looked at me and looked like he tried to look sympathetic and serious on the same time. And he did it, with no effect.

"This isn't a game, girl. Lucifer is powerful in ways that defy description, We need to strike now, hard and fast. Before he finds his vessel."

I raised my eyebrow, the almighty Lucifer needed a vessel?

Of course he does, a voice whispered in the back of my head.

He's still an angel, fallen or not.

"His vessel?" Sam repeated.

"Lucifer needs a meat suit?"

"He is an angel. Them's the rules. And when he touches down, we're talking Four Horsemen, red oceans, fiery skies, the greatest hits. You can stop him, with the support of Abigail, Dean. But you will need our help to do that", Zachariah said.

"You listen here, you two-faced douche. After what you did, we don't want a Jack squat from you!" Dean almost yelled.

"You listen to me, boy! You think you can rebel against us? As Lucifer did?" Zachariah said and neared us.

"You're bleeding", he noticed and looked at my hand.

"Oh yeah", I said and held up my hand.

"Just in case you guys showed up."

I opened the door and slammed my bloody hand on the sigil while Zachariah with no chance, tried to stop me, before he and the rest of the angels vanished.

"Learned that from Castiel, you sucker", I said.

We hadn't been gf and bf so I couldn't say that he was my boyfriend. Besides, it just sounded wrong with calling him boyfriend. We had another bond, something deeper, it felt like. I just had been too stupid to realize it until now.

"This sucks ass", Chuck suddenly said.

* * *

We sat in a motel, protected by some hex bags, and watched the news. And somehow, the media had the most stupid explanation, something that hadn't with the freaking Apocalypse to do with.

Suddenly, the door knocked, making all of us look up from what we did.

Dean and I took out our guns from our jackets while Sam looked to see who or what it was. For some reason, he opened the door, and revealed a woman staring at him in amazement.

Dear god, who the hell was she?

"You okay, lady?" Sam asked worriedly.

"Sam… Is it really you?", she gasped and put a hand on his chest, making all of us look at her like she was nuts, which she seemed to be.

"And you're so firm!"

"Uh… do I know you?" Sam questioned uncomfortably.

"No, but I know you", the woman told and put away her hand from my twin's chest, which was a relief for me, and Sam, of course.

"You're Sam Winchester and you're his twin, Abigail", she said and looked at me excitedly.

"You look just as I pictured, maybe even better", she continued cheerfully.

I scratched the back of my head slightly freaked out.

"Uh… thanks…?" I said, having no idea what to say.

That girl had probably read the books, I was 100% sure of that.

"You're…" she said and looked at Dean disappointed.

"Not what I pictured."

If this hadn't been so weird, I would have laughed. Dean actually looked good, if I could say that in a sisterly way, so it felt strange with someone saying that she had expected more.

"I'm Becky. I read all about you guys. I've even written a few—" she cut off.

Wincest on high level, I thought horrified but kept my face just weirded out.

"Anyway… Mr. Edlund told me you were here."

"Chuck?" I wondered and rose from the bed.

"He's got a message. He's being watched. Angels. Nice change-up to the mythology. The demon stuff was getting kind of old", she told us.

I coughed.

"That old demon stuff made me and Dean go to hell", I grumbled.

Fortunately, she didn't hear me.

"Right, just uh… What's the message?" Sam asked.

"He had a vision. The Michael sword and the Lost weapon are on Earth. The angels lost them", she quoted.

"The Michael sword?" Dean repeated.

"The Lost weapon?" I asked.

"Becky, does he know where it is?" Sam asked.

"In a castle. On a hill made of 42 dogs", Becky answered.

I raised my eyebrow.

"Are you sure you heard it right?" I questioned.

"It doesn't make sense, but that's what he said. I memorized every word. For you", she said dreamily and put her hand on Sam's chest again.

I gagged slightly and tried to look away from the terrible sight, but alas, worthless. The scene was like a black hole, terrible but you couldn't fight it.

"Becky, ca— uh…. can you quit touch me?" Sam asked awkwardly.

"No."

I fell down on the bed and waited for her to leave, which she did, after an hour, after getting our autographs and a selfie with me. I was quite sure she believed we were besties. It was creepy and terrible.

* * *

When Bobby came, we discussed a bit about the Michael Sword and the Lost weapon, which were supposed to be used to defeat Lucifer. The problem? We had no idea where they were (really) and what the Lost weapon was.

So after researching, Sam admitted that he'd started the Apocalypse, something Bobby got mad over and said that Sam would never see him ever again if we survived.

I couldn't really understand what he'd said, it was Bobby, the closest to a father we had. Not even Dad would have said that to Sam. Maybe some yelling and stuff, but never that.

"I never would have guessed that your daddy was right", Bobby mumbled while I flipped some pages after the search of the word 'Lost weapon'.

"About what?" Dean questioned.

"About your brother."

I looked up and stared at him confused. And with that, he meant?

"Our Dad said a lot about Sam, you gotta be more specific", I stated.

"What John said—you save Sam or kill him. Maybe…"

"Maybe what?" Dean demanded.

"Maybe we shouldn't have tried so hard to save him", Bobby said.

Was he out of his mind? Letting Sam die? That was one of my top 5 things to never do. How could he say that?

"Are you nuts?" I said and tried to hide the anger in my voice.

Yes, I was mad at Sam for trusting Ruby more than us. Yes, I was disappointed at him for drinking demon blood. But hell, he still was my brother, and he felt guilt for that too.

How much of a dick I would ever be to him about this, Sam blaming himself would probably be the worst torture for him.

"He ended the world, Abby. And you two and I weren't strong enough to stop him proper. That's on us. I'm just saying, your dad was right", he said.

I clenched my fist and stopped myself from snapping at him, when I saw Dean realizing something.

"It's got to be in here somewhere", he muttered while looking around in the ziplock for all the cards.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned.

"I don't believe it", he mumbled and held up a card, making me rise and look at it with a raised eyebrow.

"What's up with the lockup card?" I questioned.

"Look at it, Abigail", he said pointed at the address.

"Castle Storage. 42 Rover Hill", I read while realization dawned upon me.

"Castle on a hill of forty-two dogs", Dean translated it.

So, Dad had had them the whole freaking time? Talk about irony.

"So you think your dad had the Michael sword and that weapon thing all this time?" Bobby wondered.

"I don't know. I'm not sure what else Chuck could have meant", Dean stated.

"Yeah. Okay. It's good enough for me", Bobby said and punched Dean, making him fly into the barrier between the kitchen and the beds.

"What the hell, Bobby!" I exclaimed as he yanked up Dean and kicked him right into the gut, sending him flying into the solid wall this time.

"No", I muttered and watched Bobby's eyes go black.

I raced to grab the knife, when the door suddenly opened and revealed three more demons, one in a woman's meat and the other ones male.

One of the male demons shoved me against the wall, making me drop the only weapon I had had that worked on demons.

"I always knew you were a big, dumb, slow, dim pain in the ass, Dean. But I never dreamed you were so V.I.P", the woman said amused while picking up the knife and looked at us two.

"I mean, you're gonna ice the devil? You? If I'd have known that, I'd have ripped your pretty, pretty face off ages ago", she continued.

I frowned confused and stared at the demon.

"Sorry, miss demon whatever, do we know you?" I questioned.

The demon smirked and took a step to me, her hand stroking my cheek.

"Abster, Abster, Abster. You don't remember me? I mean, we had so much fun back in the days", she mused and clapped me cheek harshly, something that made me guess that I would get a mark next day, if I survived.

Memories swam around in my brain.

Sam, not being himself, tied me up before ripping off my clothes and torturing me, knife against skin, his laughter and my screams.

"Megster", I said and tried to kick her, but failed.

"Hi. These are the days of miracle and wonder, Abster. Our father's among us. You know we're all dreaming again for the first time since we were human? It's Heaven on earth. Or Hell. We really owe your brother a fruit basket", she said happily.

"You son of bitch", I snapped, when the male demon slapped me in the face.

I kept myself from showing weakness. Worshipper demons or not, they loved to see people in pain, I wouldn't give the pleasure to.

"I'm supposed to bring you to my Father, alive. Something about you being needed for some reason. But he didn't say anything about unharmed. So I suggest you keep your mouth shut", she said and turned to look at Dean.

"But you, on the other hand, you're the only bump in the road. So every demon—every single one—is just dying for a piece of you", she continued.

"Trying to sound kinky there, Meg? It is kind of your style", I stated, remembering when she had been all over Sam's face those three years ago.

Hard to forget.

"Well, get in line", Dean muttered.

"Oh, I'm in the front of the line, baby. Let's ride", she replied and began to forcefully kiss him, all in, tongue, everything.

I glared at Meg, just wanting her to disappear, and take that demon in Bobby with her.

When Meg finally let Dean go, he frowned annoyed.

"What is that, peanut butter?"

"You know, your surrogate daddy's still awake, screaming in there. And I want him to know how it feels slicing the life out of you", Meg said and handed demon-Bobby the knife.

"Bobby!" Dean and I exclaimed on the same time as he raised it.

"Break free, Bobby!"

The sound of fist against skin was heard, with me this time wincing as my jaw was throbbing in pain.

"Bobby! No!" Dean yelled.

Miraculously, the black in Bobby's eyes faded, before he stabbed himself in the gut, killing the demon inside him, but not himself, thankfully.

As Bobby slumped down to the floor, I tried to fight myself out from the demons grip while Dean fought Meg and the other man.

And with fate being kind, Sam opened the door and immediately began to fight one of the demons, when Meg hit him with the telephone.

I twisted and knocked the demon with my head, making him stagger and let me go with a grunt. I then quickly without stomping or hurting him further, I yanked out the knife out from Bobby's gut and stabbed the demon in the chest, killing him in seconds.

While Dean was fighting the other one, I went behind him and stabbed the there one right in the back before turning to Meg.

"The roles are switched now, Megster", I said and was about to throw myself on her and kill her, when Meg smoked out of her vessel and left the woman on the floor.

* * *

After getting Bobby to a hospital, Dean and I explained to Sam what Dean had found and agreed on that we should go there as fast as possible.

After we had come to the lockup, we grabbed some weapons like rifle guns and knives, you name it, and Dean unlocked the lockup before we stepped inside.

But what we saw, that wasn't what we had expected exactly. What I had believed we would find, was quite the opposite, what I believed we would see saw: a pair of living demons. What we really saw: a pair of dead demons.

"I see you told the demons where the sword is", the voice of Zachariah said suddenly.

I whipped around and found him and two other angels standing beside him.

"Great, angels, just what we needed", I snorted.

"And to think, they could have them anytime they wanted", Zachariah said and ignored me while shutting the door.

"They were right in front of them. But the demons had some vague connection about the Lost one, I'll give them that."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked while I knit my eyebrows together in confusion.

What did they mean with right in front of them? Could they mean?

"We have planted that particular piece of prophesy inside Chuck's skull, but it happened to be true. We did lose the Michael sword and the Lost weapon, or else it wouldn't be called the Lost weapon. We truly couldn't find them. Until now. You have just hand delivered it to us", Zachariah said.

"We don't have anything", Dean stated.

Zachariah stared at him like he was extremely dumb and should need someone to help Dean to understand what he just had said. Stupid angel.

"It's you two, chucklehead. You're the Michael sword and your sister's the Lost weapon."

I stared at him for a good while. So we were the weapons, wow. But what the hell were we going to do? Become weapons for Michael and some other dumb Archangel to wield? Hit Lucifer with us? Fun.

"What, you actually thought you actually could kill Lucifer, even with Abigail's help? You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing? No, you're just a human, Dean. And not much of one. But your sister, though, she'll be needed in this. She just needs to be activated", Zachariah told us.

"What do you mean I'm the sword?" Dean questioned angrily.

"Activated? I'm not a robot", I snapped.

What the hell did he mean with activated? Did I have some stupid button somewhere?

"You're Michael's weapon. Or rather, his receptacle", Zachariah stated and ignored my question.

"I'm a vessel?" Dean and I asked.

"You're the vessel. Michael's vessel", Zachariah corrected him.

"How? Why us?" Dean snapped.

"Because you're chosen! It's a great honor, Dean. For Abigail here, she can be used as a weapon for either Heaven or Hell's benefit. And we can't exactly let Hell get their hands on such a valuable person", he said.

"Yeah, right, life as an angel condom or hammer. That's real fun. I think I'll pass, thanks", Dean muttered sarcastically.

That explained why Hell wanted me. I was a weapon, according to Mr. Angel here. But what purpose did I serve in the story? Dean was the Righteous man and Michael's vessel, Sam was the one who started the Apocalypse, and me?

A weapon for either Heaven or Hell, but what did I do? See angels' wings when they flew?

Wow, such a nuclear bomb I was.

"Joking, always joking. Well, no more jokes", Zachariah said and lifted his hand as a pistol and pointed at Sam.

"Bang."

Suddenly, Sam's leg cracked and he let out a cry of pain and fell down on the floor. I widened my eyes and looked at Zachariah furiously.

"You son of a bitch", Dean growled.

"Keep mouthing off and I'll break more than his legs. I'm completely and utterly through screwing around. The war has begun. We don't have our general. That's bad. Michael is going to take his vessel and lead the final charge against the adversary, together with the Weapon, of course. Can't forget that. You understand me?" Zachariah said.

"How many humans will die in this?" I interrogated.

"A million? Ten?"

"Probably more. If Lucifer goes unchecked, you know how many die? All of them. He'll roast the planet alive", Zachariah stated.

It was then I realized something.

"You need our consent, or else you wouldn't been babbling about why we should agree", I said and smiled humorlessly.

"Michael needs my say so to ride my skin. And Heaven or Hell need Abigail's consent for her to fight with you or them", Dean said.

"Unfortunately, yes", Zachariah sighed.

"There has to be some other way!" I protested.

I couldn't or wouldn't be the freaking weapon of Heaven, or Hell.

"There is no other way! There has to be a battle! Michael must defeat the Serpent. It is written."

"Yeah, maybe. But on the other hand, eat me. The answer's no", Dean said.

"Okay. How about this? Your friend Bobby, we know he's gravely injured. Say yes and we'll heal him. Say no, he'll never walk again."

I swallowed harshly but shook my head.

"No."

How much we wanted Bobby fine, we knew he'd kill us if we had said yes so we'd be screwed one way or another.

"How about we heal you from.. stage four stomach cancer?"

Nothing happen. Or well, yes, it happened something. Something tugged in me, nothing else. I looked at Zachariah smugly, until I saw that Dean was affected. I glared at the angel with fire burning of rage and fury.

How could he dare hurt Sam and Dean?

"No", Dean coughed out.

"Then, let's get really creative. Let's see how Sam does without his lungs."

Suddenly, Sam started to grasp for air, while I couldn't do a thing.

Zachariah turned and looked at me coldly.

"Okay, you maybe can handle a stomach cancer, but how about a damage on both kidneys, along with the removal of your lungs?"

He blinked and I suddenly choked for air and felt a pain on both sides, before it just suddenly disappeared, making me laugh.

"Looks like you don't have enough juice to take on me, sucker! Come on, what are you going to do with me? Break a few bones perhaps?" I taunted.

Zachariah growled and snapped his fingers, my body felt sore for five seconds before it disappeared. I laughed again.

"Are we having fun yet?"

Zachariah's angry face got replaced by a calm one.

"I can't hurt you, but I can burt your brothers. How about Sammy's having a hemorrhage along with blood poisoning?"

Sam cried out in more pain, making me growl instead, made me see red and wanting to see Zachariah's blood on my hands.

I kneeled down and tried to help my brothers as best as I could, but Zachariah grabbed me and lifted me up by my throat, but didn't try to strangle me, yet.

"You're going to say yes", he said.

"Just kill us", Dean demanded with blood around his mouth.

"Kill you? Oh no. I'm just getting started", Zachariah stated and stabbed me with my own knife in my stomach.

I started to cough and tried to spit out as much blood as I could in his face while I could. It was hard to concentrate, since I had a hard time when a throbbing pain was felt in my gut and some of my body fluids went up in my throat.

He smirked and started to choke me with his hand, which as much more effective than with his mojo.

This time, I knew I couldn't shake it off, this wasn't angel mojo, this was like any normal way choking a person. Dark spots appeared in my view, before a sudden white light appeared and Zachariah let go off me.

I looked at what had happened and saw a huge hole in one of the angels' throat and the reason why, Cas!

Relief washed over me and all I wanted was to throw myself into his arms. Instead, with the strength I had, I lunged at the angel and grabbed him by the throat so Cas could kill him off.

After that, I stole his angel bade, who knew when that could come in handy. Of course, I didn't enjoy the fact that an angel was dead, I was actually quite sad over it, but like Zachariah had said, this was a war and there was going to be casualties.

Zachariah stared at Cas both shocked and curiously.

"How are you—"

"Alive? It's a good question. How did these three ended up on that airplane? Another good question, because the angels didn't do it. I think we both know the answer, don't we?" Cas said.

"No. That's not possible", Zachariah mumbled while I stared at Cas, drinking in ever detail of him.

He had been dead, I had stood in the blood of his vessel. Cas had been dead, poof, gone. But here he was, standing very much alive.

And when I thought about, it made sense. Who else could bring Cas back except…? Angels didn't have souls who went to Hell or Heaven, they just…died, I guessed.

"It scares you. Well, it should. Now put these boys and Abigail back together and go. I won't ask twice", Cas ordered.

Zachariah glared at us one last time, before he flied away. Slowly and carefully, I touched the wound but could only feel skin, no sign at all that it had been ripped up by a knife, except for the hole in the shirt.

I thanked something powerful that wasn't from the above, that my jacket had been open and not closed, or else my precious leather jacket would have been torn.

The second I really understood that Cas was here, alive, I rushed and crushed him with hug.

And this time, he hugged without any stiff movements. I drew away and crashed my lips on his. The kiss didn't last long, since I broke it off and stared into Cas' clear blue eyes.

"You're alive", I whispered and put my hand on his cheek.

Behind us, Dean and Sam groaned in slight pain before they rose.

"Nothing nasty now, we're still here", Dean muttered.

"You three need to be more careful", Cas said.

"Your frat brothers are bigger dicks than I thought", Dean replied.

"I don't mean the angels", Cas said while we slowly let go off each other.

"Lucifer is circling his vessel. And once he takes it, those hex bags won't be enough to protect you", Cas stated and pressed his hands on their chests before he pressed his hand on mine, gentler than on my brothers.

Somehow, that worked to do with angel mojo, although it didn't hurt or burn me. Perhaps it was because it didn't hurt me in that way, like Uriel and Zachariah had done.

"Wow, easy there, tiger", I teased when his hand lingered on my chest a bit.

Cas opened his mouth and stammered out something I couldn't understand, before he lifted away his hand while Sam and Dean still groaned in slight pain.

"What the hell was that?" Dean gasped.

"Enochian sigil. It will hide you from every angel in creation, including Lucifer", Cas explained.

I raised my eyebrow.

"Did you just brand us with it?" I asked and lifted my shirt slightly to see any sigil.

"No, I carved it into your ribs", Cas said casually.

An awkward silence of violation followed. I wanted Cas to leave a mark on my body someday, but perhaps not that kind of mark, but… you took what you were given.

"Hey, Cas, were you really dead?" Sam asked after a while.

"Yes", Cas responded.

"Then how are you back?" Dean wondered.

Cas looked at me, like he was guilty for something, before his wings appeared and he disappeared.


	15. Trust

Seeing Bobby so… not Bobby, made me so sad. He had been like that for three days, just staring out through that window. After the demon incident and him losing the ability to walk, it must have broken him.

Dean suddenly appeared with a envelope in his hand.

"What's it been, like three days now?" Dean murmured.

"We gotta cheer him up."

"Maybe I'll give him a back rub", he suggested, making me roll my eyes.

Sam, although, didn't take it the same way.

"Dean", he said seriously.

"But what then?" he protested.

"Look, we might have to wrap our heads the idea that Bobby might not bounce back this time."

I nodded slowly, couldn't we talk about something else that made me not look at Bobby like a lost puppy?

"What is it in it?" I suddenly asked.

Sam wrinkled his forehead confused.

''What is in what?»

"The envelope, duh", I said, which made Sam roll his eyes at me sounding like a teenager.

Dean held up the envelope and pulled out a picture.

"I went to radiology. Got some glamor shots. Let's just say the doctors were baffled", he told, before he handed it to Sam, who widened his eyes.

"Holy crap", he muttered before I took a look on it and gasped.

I had seen that before, somewhere that had to do with the Bible, I guessed. And I understood it like English. The perks with understanding an angelic language.

"Talk about written like old school ", I mused.

Sam raised his eyebrow.

"You can read it?"

I shrugged.

"Yep, and I can understand Enochian speech fluently too", I responded.

Dean stared at me slightly stunned, before my cellphone rang. I picked it up from my pocket and answered with the usual:

"Hello?"

"Abigail, where are you?" Cas questioned.

I raised my eyebrow, couldn't he just pop in here? Oh, right, the sigils.

"Uh, we are at St. Martin's hospital—" I began before he suddenly hung up.

A pair of doctors went past us with some machine thingy when Cas appeared. And me, being me, walked toward him and gave him a hug.

"Since when do angels need to reach out and touch someone?" Dean asked while we let go of each other.

I rolled my eyes, had he forgotten about the carvings he just showed us and their purpose? Short memory, brother.

"You're hidden from angels now—all angels. I won't be able to simply—"

"Enough foreplay", Bobby suddenly said, which made Dean, Sam, Cas and me turn to look at him.

At least he talks, I thought.

"Get over here and lay your damn hands on."

Cas didn't move and nor did we. If Cas would've been able to heal him, he would've. So that probably meant that he couldn't. And why? No idea.

"Get healing, now", Bobby demanded.

"I can't", Cas replied and sounded slightly frustrated over the fact.

Bobby froze and turned his wheelchair to look at him.

"Say again?"

"I'm cut off from Heaven and much of Heaven's power. Certain things I can do. Certain things I can't", Cas explained and walked closer to Bobby.

And Bobby Singer didn't look happy, at all.

"You're telling me you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap the rest of my life?" he growled and sounded quite or very pissed over the fact.

"I'm sorry", Cas apologized, for something he couldn't handle.

"Shove it up your ass", Bobby snapped and turned back toward the window and continued his glooming at it.

"At least he's talking", I murmured to Dean.

"I heard that."

Dean glanced at me before Cas walked back to us.

"I don't have much time. We need to talk", he stated.

"Okay", Dean said.

"Your plan to kill Lucifer", Cas started.

"Yeah, you want to help?" Dean asked hopefully.

"No. It's foolish. It can't be done", Cas said.

I raised my eyebrow.

"Thanks for the support, Cas", I muttered.

"But I believe I have the solution. There is someone besides Michael by himself or with Abigail strong enough to take on Lucifer. Strong enough to stop the apocalypse", Cas explained.

"Who's that?" I asked, which I felt that I already knew the answer.

Who else had Zachariah being frightened of? Who else but Him could resurrect a dead angel, who else would save us back there if it hadn't been the angels?

"The one who resurrected me and put you on that airplane. The one who began everything. God. I'm gonna find God", he told.

Every Winchester and perhaps one Singer stared at Cas stunned and a bit skeptically.

How the hell would he find God? If you asked me, God was quite done with his Creation. After all, he'd had left us with this mess instead of fixing it, and that's only one of billion or trillion of problems he could've fixed, but didn't. But I didn't want to destroy Cas' hope, not after all that happened.

"God?" I asked.

"Yes."

"God?"

"Yes! He isn't in heaven. He has to be somewhere", Cas stated.

"Try New Mexico. I hear he's on a tortilla", Dean joked.

But Cas, being the oblivious puppy he was, looked at Dean puzzled.

"No, he's not on any flatbread", he responded, making me snicker quietly.

"Listen, Chuckles, even if there is a God, he is either dead—and that's the generous theory—"

"He is out there, Dean", Cas interrupted, but Dean kept going.

"—or he's up and kicking and doesn't give a rat's ass about any of us", he finished.

Cas glared at him, and reading his face expression, he wanted to say something but just didn't know what.

"I mean, look around you, man. The world is in the toilet. We are literally at the end of days here, and he's off somewhere drinking booze out of a coconut. All right?", Dean said.

"Enough. This is not a theological issue. It's strategic. With God's help, we can win", Cas stated, his voice sounding harder and gruffer than usual.

"It's a pipe dream, Cas", Dean told.

That seemed to be the last straw for Cas, since anger flared up in his eyes and he neared Dean.

"I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you two", he said, making me looking down in shame.

"—and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world, and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself", he finished, the last sentence was barely more than a whisper.

I didn't say anything, what could I say? He was right, it was our fault that the Apocalypse was kicking, and I still blamed myself for letting the First seal getting broken. If I hadn't broken and hauled up Dean from the rack… But done was done, and now the only thing we could do was trying to kill Lucifer.

"You didn't drop in just to tear us a new hole. What is it you want?" Bobby asked, breaking the silence that hung over us.

"I did come for something. An amulet", Cas told him.

"An amulet? What kind?" Bobby wondered.

"Very rare. Very powerful. It burns hot in God's presence. It'll help me find him."

I raised my eyebrow, quite EMF-ish, according to me.

"God EMF?" Sam questioned like he had read my thoughts.

Cas nodded.

"Well, I don't know what you're talking about. I got nothing like that", Bobby responded.

"I know. You don't."

Cas looked at Dean, before he dropped his gaze to the amulet, which Sam had given to Dean for a good couple of years ago.

The year when we'd found out the truth.

"What, this?" Dean asked.

"May I borrow it?" Cas wondered, which surprised me, well not really.

If any other angel but Cas had said the same thing, then it would have surprised me.

"No", Dean refused.

"Dean. Give it to me", Cas said, his eyes full of seriousness.

Dean went silent before he took off the amulet slowly.

"Alright, I guess", he sighed.

Just before he was going to give Cas the amulet, he pulled away.

"Don't lose it", he said before he let Cas grab it out of his hand.

Looking at Dean without the amulet was like looking at a zebra without stripes, it was something big that was missing.

"Great. Now I feel naked", Dean muttered, making me smirk.

"I'll be in touch", Cas said before I took his hand and kissed him gently on his lips.

"Can't wait to see you again", I said and winked devilishly, making Dean groan in disgust and Sam stare at me horrified.

We were twins, after all.

A small light gleamed in his eyes before he spread his wings that had appeared, and vanished.

"When you find God, tell him to send legs!" Bobby yelled after a second when Cas was gone.

* * *

"Sam, can I talk to you?" I asked him carefully while Dean continued to walk to Baby.

"Yeah, sure", he replied and turned to look at me.

I had known him since the day I had been born, and I still got surprised over how much we looked like each other and still not. He was tall (Sasquatch warning, really) and I was average. Unlike him, I wasn't broad shouldered or bulky, I was more lean and "fine muscled". But we had the same hair color and almost the same eye color, mine were more green than his hazel though. And now we both shared that feeling that we weren't completely normal. He had demon blood in his veins and I was… I had no idea what or who I was anymore. My mind was the same, but that dark gap, the gap I had had my whole life, it felt like a black hole nowadays.

"I still… I know it's been days, but… I can't shake it off, you know", I began slowly and pushed away my hair.

"Abby—" he began, but stopped when I held up my hand.

"Please, just let me finish", I said.

"I mean, you chose Ruby over us. A demon. Over your brother and sister. What I can't understand is why? Do you trust us, Sammy?"

Sam's face immediately fell as he took a step closer to me, his eyes filled with sadness. I just wanted to cry and forgive him like a child would've, but I couldn't.

"Of course I trust you, Abby. And I would do anything to take it all back, you know I would", he said, making me nod certainly.

"I know you regret it, deeply, but still… Your family, Sam. Your family."

"Sam, you're my brother and I love you, but you are… I don't think I can trust you anymore. I'm sorry, but I can't."

* * *

We later went to Colorado, where Rufus had a demon problem, which wasn't a demon problem. It was more like Horsemen of the Apocalypse problem. And to be specific about which one, it was War.

He made us all see each other as demons, like Rufus seeing me and Dean as demons and shoving salt down our throats.

And poor Ellen and Jo, believing the other was possessed.

When we finally met War, he greeted me like an old friend, almost like he had met me before. That slightly freaked me out, just a bit.

Luckily, I had the honor of chopping off his finger.

"So, pit stop at Mount Doom?" Dean joked as he held up War's ring.

"Dean—" Sam began when Dean interrupted him.

"Sam, let's not", Dean told.

"No, listen. This is important. I know you two don't trust me", he said, something that made me look away.

Saying that to him yesterday, I felt bad myself for saying that, but, I wouldn't lie to him. None of us wanted to lie the other one's face, so I had said what I had to. Because it was the truth. The cold, harsh truth.

"Just, now I realize something. I don't trust me either", he continued, making me look at him with a confused face.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"From the minute I saw that blood, only thought in my head...and I tell myself it's for the right reasons, my intentions are good, and it, it feels true, you know? But I think, underneath...I just miss the feeling. I know how messed up that sounds, which means I know how messed up I am. Thing is, the problem's not the demon blood, not really. I mean, I, what I did, I can't blame the blood or Ruby or...anything. The problem's me. How far I'll go. There's something in me that...scares the hell out of me, guys. In the last couple of days, I caught another glimpse…"

"So what are you saying?" Dean wondered.

"I'm in no shape to be hunting. I need to step back, 'cause I'm dangerous. Maybe it's best we just...go our separate ways. You and I."

I raised my eyebrow, but nodded. I guessed that he hadn't been the only one thinking about it.

"I think I need to be alone a bit, too. I mean, get away from the Apocalypse a bit, forgetting that I can be used in this mess, too. That doesn't mean I don't want to stop seeing you. But, just for some weeks."

"Well, I think you're right", Dean stated, making Sam look at him surprised.

"I was expecting a fight."

"The truth is I spend more time worrying about you than about doing the job right. And I just, I can't afford that, you know? Not now", he said.

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"I know you are, Sam."

I rose along with Sam, while grabbing my bag (we had had the snacks in it) and was about to go, when Dean interrupted.

"Hey, do one of you, uh, wanna take the Impala?

I smiled slightly. Dean offering to let us use Baby, that seriously meant a lot.

"No, but thanks", I said while Sam shook his head slightly.

"Take care of yourselves", Sam said.

"Yeah, you too, Sammy", Dean replied while I touched his arm slightly.

"Just call me, anytime, both of you", I said before I turned and bid the Impala a silent goodbye.

See ya later, Baby, I thought and began to walk up the road, looking for that slightly broken car I had seen. Would work for some days.

I wouldn't totally ditch the Apocalypse, just take a break from all of it.

A Winchester vacation, you could say.

 **A/N: This chapter is slightly shorter and quite useless, kind of filler, you could say. But it's some itty bitty Abby/Cas, at least**


	16. Love

I did as I had planned at first, traveling around, just doing some normal salt 'n burns, some monsters that were feeding on people.

And in Denver, I encountered a demon, who didn't seem to know who I was. She captured me and used me as her little dissection frog.

Fortunately, I came away with only some scratches and a nasty cut on the other side of my Anti Demon Possession tattoo. It healed after a while, but left an uneven scar that I found extremely ugly.

* * *

After a case with some ghosts in some nursing home, I stayed in Waterwille longer than I usually stayed in town.

One reason was because no one suspected me for anything strange, which was a relief.

The other was because of another case, a so called 'gas explosion' had happened at the gas station when nothing had been wrong with it. So I decided that I would check it up.

"Deputy Framingham?" I asked the familiar deputy.

Framingham turned and smiled welcomely.

"Agent Dylan. Good to see you again. How did the case with the latest murders go?" he asked politely.

"Very good, sir. We've taken care of it", I responded.

Framingham looked behind me, making me turn…. to see Dean and Cas.

I widened my eyes in surprise, why were they here? Why was Cas on a case? Was this important?

"Agents", I said cheerfully and hugged them.

"Agent", Dean said while Cas remained silent.

Dean glanced at Cas, which made him repeat the same thing.

"You know each other?" Framingham asked.

I nodded.

"These are my partners, deputy."

"Hi. Alonzo Mosely, FBI. This is my other partner, Eddie Moscone", Dean sad and held up his badge, while Cas just stared at the deputy.

I forced myself not to smile at how cute Cas was when he stared at the man puzzled.

"Also FBI", I said, after I had cleared my throat.

Cas stared at Dean, who had put away his badge, before he took out his own, which he held upside down. Dean noticed that and quickly turned it right. It was then I couldn't help but chuckle at my little puppy.

"He's new at this, sir. May we ask you some questions?" I said.

"Yeah, sure. Talk here, though", he replied and pointed at his right ear while he lead us to the office.

"Hearing's all blown to hell in this one."

"That happen recently?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Gas station. Why you're here, isn't it so, Agent Dylan?" he asked me.

I nodded.

"Yes it is", I said before I sat down between Cas and Dean.

"Can you tell us what happened?"

"A call came in. Disturbance out at the Pump and Go on Route 4", he told us.

"What kind of disturbance?" Dean asked.

"Would not have believed my eyes if I hadn't seen it myself. We're talking a riot. Full scale."

"How many?" I asked him.

"Thirty, forty, in all-out kill-or-be-killed combat?"

"Any idea what set them off?" I asked.

He couldn't answer, so he remained silent.

"It's angels and demons, probably", an oblivious Cas said.

"They're skirmishing all over the globe."

"Come again?" Framingham questioned baffled.

I sighed in my head but still was slightly amused.

"Nothing", I said.

''Demons'', Cas told.

"Nothing."

"Demons."

"Demons, you know, drinking, an adult's miserable life. We all have our demons, mate", I stated and smiled.

"I guess", he said wearily.

I looked at Cas and gave him the mild version of the 'shut up' look. He understood and fell silent.

"Anyway, next?" I continued and let my arms rest on the desk.

Freaking explosion, that's what. They said it was one of those underground gas tanks, but, uh, I don't think so", he said.

I raised my eyebrow.

"Why not?"

"Wasn't your usual fireball. It was, um—"

"Pure white", Cas stated.

It was then I realized why Cas was here, it was an angel they were looking for. But what had an angel to do with all this?

"Yeah. Gas station was leveled. Everyone was...it was just horrible. And I see this one guy, kneeling, real focused-like, not a damn scratch on him."

"You know him?" Dean wondered

"Donnie Finnerman. Mechanic there."

I widened my eyes.

"I talked to him for a couple days ago, good guy", I told them.

Framingham nodded and seemed to agree.

"Let me guess, he just, uh, vanished into thin air?" Dean asked.

"Uh, no, Kolchak. He's down at Saint Pete's", Framingham said weirdly.

Cas then turned to me and said:

"Saint Pete's."

A smile tugged at my lips. Seeing Cas as an agent was adorable and a bit entertaining, and since no harm was done, why not?

"Thank you, Framingham", I said and rose along with Dean and Cas.

We shook hands with him while Cas did something that looked kind of like a handshake and something else.

"Okay, guys, why are you searching for an angel?" I asked when we sat down in the Impala.

This time, Cas and I sat in the backseat while Dean drove, obviously.

"We're looking for an Archangel", Dean told me.

I raised my eyebrow. Sounded quite stupid, but there as probably a reason.

"Which one? Michael, Lucie, Teenage Mutant ninjangel, Gabriel or Jophiel?"

Dean chuckled amused.

"The ninjangel. It was actually him who wasted Cas. And that's not why we're trying to find him", Dean added.

"He knows where God is, so we are going to capture and interrogate him."

I widened my eyes. I really hoped they were well aware how enormously stupid and dangerous that was.

"Isn't that like, very dangerous? I mean, it's a freaking Archangel", I stated.

"You and I are safe since I'm the angel condom and you're their robot, or Hell's", Dean said and used my name that I had used when we first learned about it.

"But not Cas", I added.

They went silent.

* * *

We looked at poor Donnie, who sat in a wheelchair and seemed to be catatonic. I felt quite pissed over the fact that Raphael just had left him like that. He still was a human being, and a good one too.

"I take it that's not Raphael anymore", Dean stated.

"Just an empty vessel", Cas confirmed.

"So is this what I'm looking at if Michael jumps in my bones?"

"No, not at all. Michael is much more powerful. It'll be far worse for you", Cas said, making Dean look away and me to look down.

Even more reasons why Dean shouldn't say 'yes' to Michael.

"Fun", I muttered.

Cas turned and looked at me confused.

"No, it isn't", he said, making me smile a bit.

"Sarcasm, Cas. Sarcasm."

* * *

We stayed at an abandoned house where Dean read through Dad's journal and Cas was somewhere. I sat in one of the chairs and fiddled with a lock of my hair.

"Abigail, about War—" he started.

"Dean, I don't know. And that scares me", I told him softly.

Then Cas suddenly appeared with some ceramic jar.

"Where've you been?" Dean asked.

"Jerusalem."

"How was it there?" I asked.

"Arid", Cas replied and set down the jar, which seemed to have some liquid inside.

I tilted my head curiously.

"What is it?"

"It's oil. It's very special. Very rare" , Cas explained and sat down.

"Okay, so we trap Raphael with a nice vinaigrette?" Dean said sarcastically.

"No."

Dear sweet sarcasm.

"So, this ritual thing, when does it go down?" I asked him.

"Sunrise."

"Tell me something. You keep saying we're gonna trap this guy. Isn't that kinda like trapping a hurricane with a butterfly net?" Dean asked him.

"No, it's harder."

For a slight moment, I imagined Dean trying to catch a huge winged dude with a butterfly net, before I dispatched the picture. Too fucked up.

"Do we have any chance of surviving this?" Dean wondered.

"You two do", Cas replied.

"So odds are you're a dead man tomorrow", Dean stated while a big lump formed in me.

"Then we're not doing this", I stated harshly.

"Abigail…" Cas said quietly.

No, not again. Not after everything… Losing him once, but twice?

"I can't lose you again", I whispered and looked at Cas.

His eyes softened as he took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"Let's not talk about it, until we cross that bridge", he said.

"Well… Last night on earth. What are your plans?" Dean said and tried to lighten the mood.

"I just thought I'd sit here quietly", Cas said, making me roll my eyes slightly.

"Are you serious?"

"Come on, anything? Booze, getting it with Abster, even I don't like it? Both?"

With that, Cas looked away uncomfortable.

I raised my eyebrow, but didn't say anything. Technically, I still was a virgin since I came back from Hell, so…

"You have been doing it before, or with another woman before. Right? With an angel, at least?" Dean asked skeptically.

Cas scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably while I looked at my hair interestedly.

"You mean to tell me you've never been up there doing a little cloud-seeding? And come on, Abigail! It's been over a year since you got rehymenated. Something must have happened", Dean exclaimed stunned.

I held up my hands in a protest.

"I've never had occasion, okay?" we both defended ourselves.

"All right", Dean started and put on his jacket.

"Let me tell you something. There are two things I know for certain.

One: Bert and Ernie are gay. Two: you are not gonna die as a virgin. Not on my watch. And my sister needs to get rid of her rehymenation. Let's go", Dean said and began to walk out.

I looked at Cas before I sighed and dragged him up.

"Guess we don't have a choice", I muttered before we got into the car.

* * *

 **A/N: It'll be some sexy times, just FYI and for anyone who doesn't like that. Not to dirty, but just in case. And this is my first written sex scene, so bear with me**

Dean then drove us to some big hotel, where he almost shoved us into a honeymoon room.

''See you in the morning'', he said and winked at me.

''Go and get him, Abster.''

I rolled my eyes and closed the door after him.

"You know, we don't need to do it", I said while we sat on a huge king-sized bed which was almost as big as a motel room I had once lived in. One word: huge.

"I know humans make love when they are in love. And I love you", he said innocently and stroke away a strand of hair from my face.

He smelled his usual cinnamon and other spices I couldn't name. Just a small sniff of his scent made my head spin rapidly and my heart beat faster.

Cas leaned in and gave me a feather-light kiss, before he deepened it carefully, making sure I was ready.

I responded it with slowly licking his bottom lip, asking for entrance. Something he began to feel uncertain about what he should do.

I carefully broke off and looked in his curious and adorable cobalt eyes.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to do" Cas said nervously while I rested my hand on his arm.

"Don't think about anything. Just do", I replied softly and kissed him.

This time, he let my tongue slide in, where it gingerly touched his. My hand went down his firm chest before trailing down, further and further, until it came beneath his trousers and down to his crotch. I stopped there, just being there, touching.

He let out a soft moan that hit my lips. I smiled at that and took off his coats quickly but tenderly with both of my hands, leaving him in his blue tie and white shirt.

One of my hands was in his dark hair, lazily letting it run through my fingers like silk.

"Can I touch you?" Cas wondered with his eyes lingering on my shirt.

"You always can", I replied and unbuttoned it, revealing a black spaghetti strap top. As I tried to shift to a more comfortable position, I decided that my jeans wouldn't be needed.

It was almost like he'd read my thoughts.

Cas' hands slid down my waist, to my jeans, and peeled them off delicately and slightly shakily, almost as he was afraid of ripping them to shreds. But then again, he was an angel, with super strength.

I undid his tie and put it aside, while Cas was mouthing and kissing my shoulder, just where his handprint was. Every time his lips kissed the skin there, my body sparked with bliss, like the scar responded to his touch.

His lips left my shoulder, just to be replaced by me kissing his well-sculpted jaw, his stubble scratching my face slightly, before trailing down to his neck. I paused for a slight second, before Cas pushed us down onto the bed, him lying on top.

I let out a small sound of surprise and pleasure when I felt Cas' face against the crook of my neck, gently kissing and sometimes nibbling playfully at the skin there.

I was almost 100% sure he could hear my heart pound harshly in my ribcage, while my body was heating up by his touch.

With the lips still on his neck, I myself started to suck on it, searching for his weak spot. Which I found, since I heard when Cas let out a small whimper.

Then, I just continued sucking on the soft skin there, knowing it probably would leave a mark.

Dean wouldn't be surprised, hopefully.

I tugged at the top insecurely, before I removed it swiftly. Nervously, I looked at Cas as his eyes went up and down, where they stayed at the scar from the demon incident.

"It was a case… I-I know it looks like shit", I said self-consciously as he gave me a peck softer than a butterfly wing.

"You're beautiful, nothing can tell me something else", he said and began unbuttoning his shirt.

I stared at his body in marvel, the lines of muscles, the hipbones. Why did he hide all of this behind so many layers of clothing?

I took off his trousers and moved us so I was laying on him.

Tender, slow kisses, everywhere on his body, me smiling when I could hear him whisper my name.

Every kiss we gave each other, every kiss spoke something, a language you couldn't speak. Joy, hope, forgiveness, devotion, passion, love, telling each other it would be alright.

His strong arms took a hold of me, and rolled over again so I was under him. The hardness of his length was pressed just against the skin just above my moist sex, making me press my thighs together, hopelessly trying to do something about the need of him inside me.

While Cas was leaving wet kisses on my body, I unclasped the bra and removed my panties and threw them on the floor. He stopped and just stared, drinking in every part of me.

He then eyed his white boxers (where you could see his erection quite clearly) before he took them off.

I rose up and kissed him slowly, before handing over a condom. None of us were really human (I wasn't fully, I couldn't, really), but you never knew. Cas tilted his head and eyed it confused and puzzled at the same time.

I explained to him what it was and why you used them. After him applying it, I realized a quite big thing.

It was happening, it was really happening.

For a year ago, if someone'd said that I would have sex with Castiel, I would have widened my eyes quite or be very stunned.

Cas leaned down to me, before he quite smoothly got inside me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he began thrusting himself into me. For every thrust, the closer he came to my G-spot.

I began to breathe slightly faster while my walls clenched themselves around Cas' cock. For every orgasm, I made some sounds that were mixes of moaning and joyful cries, which he seemed to be pleased over.

Never knew an angel could do such things.

"Cas", I mumbled and kissed him over and over again.

All of sudden, his wings appeared. But they didn't look like they usually did, they were more… physical.

My breath got caught in my throat as I stared at them in wonder. They were pitch black with a tinge of blue, just like a raven's, but a lot more beautiful.

"Can I…. Can I touch them?"

Cas nodded, his eyes almost glowing. I raised hand shakily and stroke the soft feathers. They were warm and shuddered by my touch.

"They are very… sensitive", he said and smiled shyly.

I returned the smile and gave him a kiss.

"I love you, Castiel", I whispered and touched his wings again.

"I love you, too, Abigail", he said and sank down on me, his big dark wings sheltering us from the outside.

* * *

"You better have lost your rehymenation", Dean said after he checked out a blonde nurse, who smiled at him before she walked away.

"Don't worry, big brother. You don't need to be sorry about that we didn't use your 'money' for nothin'. Because we didn't", I said and talked about our credit cards.

"And did you know that when Cas is—"

"Abigail, too much information" he said and gagged before we went inside the room with Cas positioning Donnie's wheelchair.

"Light hearted", I muttered but smirked entertained at my brother.

That was for him telling me about when he had lost his virginity for the first time. Him telling me, had scarred me for life. And I was hunting monsters and demons. Payback's a bitch.

I closed the the shades while Dean shut the door. Cas on the other hand, started to pour the oil around poor Donnie.

"When the oil burns, no angel can touch or pass through the flames, or he dies", he told us.

"Okay, so we trap him in a steel cage of holy fire, but one question. How the hell do we get him here?" Dean asked.

"Very simple. There's, well, almost an open phone line between a vessel and his angel. One just has to know how to dial."

Cas leaned down and spoke in Enochian.

Spirit of the East, one of the four that liveth forever I invoke you with holy fire into your palace

"I'm here, Raphael. Come and get me, you little bastard", he said in English before he stepped away from him and the circle of oil.

"Just wondering, how long is this going to take, contacting an Archangel?" I asked.

"Be ready."

Cas then lit the match and dropped it on the oil, with started to burn. And then we waited, and waited, and waited. And we waited, for hours, but nothing happened.

So we decided to drive back to the abandoned house we had been in the other day.

"Well that's a day I'll never get back", Dean muttered annoyed before we entered the house.

"It maybe was better like this", I suggested as he opened the door, and a wave of angelic power hit me.

It was strong, much much stronger than Cas'.

"Dean, stop", I said and grabbed his shoulder.

We looked at the kitchen, where Raphael stood with electricity flaring on his back like wings. It sort of exploded a lot of lamps and other things I didn't care about. I mostly stared at the Archangel, who felt slightly familiar. And not only because of his vessel.

The room went dark as Raphael eyed Cas.

"Castiel", he said.

"Raphael", Cas responded.

We walked closer to the Archangel while Dean of course needed to comment his intro.

"And I thought you were supposed to be impressive. All you do is black out the room", he taunted.

"And the Eastern Seaboard", Raphael added with a cold voice, like a robot's.

Emotionless.

"It is a testament to my unending mercy that I do not smite you here and now", he said.

"Or maybe you're full of crap. Maybe you're afraid God will bring Cas back to life again and smite you and your candy-ass skirt. By the way, hi, I'm Dean and this is Abigail", Dean said while I lifted up my hand like a greeting.

"Sup", I greeted.

"I know who you are. And now, thanks to him, I know where you are", Raphael said.

"You won't kill them. You wouldn't dare", Cas growled.

"But I will take them to Michael", Raphael replied .

"Well, sounds awesome. Ya know, having a girl in her mid twenties with not so really useful or cool powers and a vessel who just will say no to him. Lovely", I muttered and threw Dean a beer.

"Surely you remember Zachariah giving you stomach cancer? Or when he removed your lungs and damaged your whole body?" Raphael reminded me.

I laughed with no happiness or humor.

"Yep, it was hilarious. Did he forget to tell you that I didn't get affected by that?" I asked him.

"Well, he doesn't have anything close to my imagination or power", Raphael replied and stepped closer to us.

I looked at Dean and Cas and gave them a slight nod.

"Yeah? I bet you didn't imagine one thing", I said.

"What?"

"We knew you were coming, you stupid sucker", I said before I lit the holy oil ring with my lighter.

Raphael glared at us and looked quite pissed. Could I blame him? Of course not. We'd just trapped him in a holy ring of fire, I'd be quite pissed too.

"Don't look at me, it was all him", I protested and pointed at Cas.

He turned and glared at me like 'seriously?' I gave him a thumbs up and blew him a quick kiss.

Maybe it was my imagination, or did Raphael ball his fists and looked slightly more bothered?

"Where is he?" Cas asked.

"God? Didn't you hear? He's dead, Castiel. Dead", Raphael said.

I widened my eyes and looked at Cas, who looked just as baffled as I felt.

"But there's no other explanation. He's gone for good", Raphael said.

"You're lying", Cas stated.

"Am I? Do you remember the twentieth century? Think the twenty-first is going any better? Do you think God would have let any of that happen if he were alive?"

Cas looked down and seemed to try to reason in his head. He couldn't lose faith, not now. So me, being, decided to insult his little daddy.

"Oh, right? Then who invented the Chinese basket trick?" I questioned and felt weirded out by me saying that.

"Careful. That's my father you're talking about, girl", he warned, but he didn't sound angry, just annoyed and tired.

"Yeah, who would be so proud to know his kids started the Apocalypse", I countered.

"Who ran off and disappeared. Who left no instructions and a world to run", Raphael reminded me, still sounding like he said it a lot of times.

"Daddy ran away and disappeared. He didn't happen to work for the post office, did he?" Dean asked, making both me and Cas looked at him confused.

Something happened back there with Dean last night. Maybe I didn't want to know. It was probably the best, for all of us.

"This is funny to you? You're living in a godless universe", Raphael said.

"And? What, you and the other pansies just decided to throw an apocalypse while he was gone? Way to make your daddy proud", I snorted.

"We're tired. We just want it to be over. We just want…paradise."

"So, what, God dies and makes you the boss and you decide you can do whatever you want?" Dean asked.

"Yes. And whatever we want, we get!" Raphael exclaimed loudly and crashed the window with his powers, which made us wet because of the storm outside.

"If God is dead, why have I returned? Who brought me back?" Cas almost shouted over the wind.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lucifer raised you?"

I froze speechlessly, was that even possible? How could an angel resurrect another angel, even if he was an Archangel?

"No", Cas mumbled terrified.

"Think about it. He needs all the rebellious angels he can find. You know it adds up."

I shook my head and touched Cas' shoulder lightly.

"Let's go", I said.

We all started to leave when Raphael spoke up.

"Castiel, I'm warning you. Do not leave me here. I will find you", Raphael threatened.

"Maybe one day. But today, you're my little bitch", he replied.

Dean turned before he left and said:

"What he said."

I glared at Raphael one last time.

"Tell your sister Jophiel that she may have done pretty stars, but still has terrible brothers", I said.

Raphael smiled slightly, like he knew something I didn't. Or an inside joke only he understood.

* * *

We sat silently in the car, none of us saying a thing. God couldn't be dead, he was freaking God. Hell, even I must've lived longer than him, and I was 26 years old.

"You okay?" Dean asked Cas, who sat beside me in the backseat.

But Cas didn't reply. I felt sorry for him, he perhaps did believe that it had been Lucifer who had raised him. According to me, it was impossible. Only God and perhaps some other dude I forgot the name on could do that, no other being.

"Look, I'm gonna to tell you that this little crusade of yours is crazy, but Dean and I do know a little about missing fathers", I said softly.

"I mean there were times when we were looking for our dad when all logic said that he was dead, but I knew in my heart he was still alive. Who cares what some ninja turtle says, Cas, what do you believe?" Dean asked him.

He first was silent, like he didn't know what he believed. Could I blame him? No.

"I believe he's out there", he finally.

I smiled.

"Good, then go find him", Dean said before I could say anything.

"What about you?" Cas asked us.

"What about me? I don't know. Honestly, I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I am, I'm really good", Dean answered honestly.

"Even without Sam?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

I knew what Sam had done, his mistakes, his weaknesses, but I still wanted to see him, I really did. As someone said, united we stand, divided we fall. If a pair of hairless primates were going to stop the end of the world, those primates should become a pack again. A family.

"Especially without Sam. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with you and Cas in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and we haven't even had fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my family, but now that I'm alone, hell, I'm happy", Dean said.

A slight disappointment bubbled up in my chest. Dean could think what he wanted, and maybe I should put myself in his position? But still, he was our brother, and we couldn't leave him.

I shook my head slowly.

"Pull over here", I demanded quietly.

Dean looked at me funnily.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

He did what I asked for and stopped on a road where a lot of cars came then and then. I opened the door and went out to grab my bag before I walked to Dean.

"I'm going to find Sam", I stated.

Dean stared at me slightly stunned and hurt, but drove away.

And there I stood, alone, on the road.


	17. Ice cold

After meeting a nice chap who was willing to let me go with him, I took a ride to St. Louis. Apparently, Sam lived at some motel and worked as a choirboy by the name Travis (after the first town where he'd been attacked by hunters.)

"Excuse me, lady, what plans do you believe God has for you?" a religious man asked me while holding some papers.

With a bitter smile, I said:

"He and the Devil seem to want to hire me for some job."

The man seemed to have no words for that. Seriously, he looked like a fish with his mouth hanging open.

"Do you know where this motel is located?" I wondered and showed him a piece of paper with the name of the motel.

It took some seconds for the man to answer, since he seemed to be mentally constipated, but he finally managed to tell where the motel was.

"Excuse me, but where is the room number to Travis Hilton? He's a friend of mine", I told.

"Room 33", the guy said bored and pointed at the corridor.

I gave him a nod before I tried to find room 33. Which I did. After a while. Sam opened the second I knocked and hugged me.

To be honest, I was surprised. We had only been part for a few weeks and after being in Hell and him at Stanford, weeks were nothing.

"Abigail, there's something I need to tell you", Sam said as he closed the door to his room as I sat down on his bed.

"What?" I wondered.

He shook his head with a distant look on his face, like he was reliving something.

"I'm his vessel. Lucifer's."

I widened my eyes. No… If Sam and Dean would somehow say yes to the Archangels, one would kill the other. Plus, the planet would be roasted.

"We have to contact Dean", I stated urgently.

Sam shrugged slightly.

"Already done. He kind of said that we'd be better off separated, easier to hide from Michael and Lucifer", he explained.

"Well, that's bullshit. He needs us, we need him. He just needs someone to punch the obvious statement in his thick skull", I snorted, making Sam smile slightly.

"You're still the same."

I gave him a smirk.

"Of course, if we ever become old, I'm still gonna use my wonderful lines and phrases to make this world a better place", I said and smirked.

Sam got pretty surprised when he heard the story of when Dean, Cas and I had contacted Raphael. If he hadn't known about Heaven and all that, he'd probably have been devastated about the fact that God wasn't upstairs and that praying to him didn't do much good. But he took it quite well, to be honest.

"Did you get that voice message from me, Sam?" I asked him.

Almost unnoticeable, Sam face dropped and his eyes darkened for a slight second before he went back to normal.

"Yeah, why?"

I sighed and put my hand on his.

"It wasn't mine. Back in that green room whatever, I sent you one. But I didn't say what you had heard there. While I searched in Chuck's papers after you, I realized what had happened. I promise you, Sammy. What you heard from me and Dean, they weren't real. They were fake. None of them came really from us."

Sam nodded while looking down on the bed.

"You know… when I first heard them, I wasn't sure myself. I know you two, you wouldn't really say that. It just… I don't know, I began to believe it anyway, I guess. They maybe were right. I am a freak, a monster with demon blood in me", he accused himself.

I shook my head and glared at him harshly.

"Sam, stop calling yourself that. How many times you say it, you aren't one. Just because Yellow Eyes bled in your mouth, doesn't it mean that you're a monster. A monster is someone who chooses to be a terrible person", I stated.

"But I chose it", Sam protested.

"By the manipulations of Ruby. Dean and I were dead, you're broken, down at your weakest level. Easy for Ruby to make you do what she and Lilith had planned. And then you were stuck with it, but that wasn't you fault."

We were silent, both thinking about what I had said. I was right, I really hoped that. Sam wasn't evil, none of us were.

"Did I tell you that having sex with an angel really is heavenly?" I for some reason asked.

"No…Why?" he wondered before he seemed to realize.

"Did you and Cas…?"

I nodded smugly, making Sam slowly wrinkle his nose.

"So, how 'heavenly' was it?" he said in a uncomfortable voice and air quoted when he said heavenly.

"From the scale of 1-100? Then 1000. Oh come on, Sam", I complained when I saw that he looked quite or very sick.

"Even Dean took it better", I said but smiled at how disgusted Sam seemed to be.

"Yeah, but Dean tells those stories to us more often."

We laughed and shared stories and commented everything about everything. Just like old times. Sam and I often used to talk about normal things to feel normal and not only feel like hunters every day. At least we had done it as kids.

Maybe having a normal life was tempting, but in the middle of all this? No. It was my responsibility, being a hunter, especially since I was a weapon for both Heaven and Hell. Something I still wondered why. What purpose did I serve in this crap?

* * *

I opened my eyes, only to find Sam not beside me and the mattress gone.

"What the hell?" I muttered when I looked out on the town, completely wrecked and disastrous.

Had I missed something? Slept through the whole shit? And where the hell was Sam?

After I had put on my shoes, which luckily were in the room, I headed out to investigate the town. Everything was destroyed, like a hurricane had been here.

Something was wrong, extremely wrong.

Suddenly, I spotted a group of people sitting near a building.

"Hey! Guys! What's going on?" I shouted to them, and immediately regretted it.

The people turned around and watched me like I was a prey. Which I could understand why. Only one thing had that stare, croats.

Dean, Sam and I had met those zombies before, where they had seemed much more human than these.

"Shit", I groaned irritated when they suddenly ran at me with that predator look that I had seen on National Geographic.

It was then I figured out that I was bearing my precious Beretta, which I used to headshot them. When I finally had killed them all (which wasn't pretty), I hot-wired a car and headed for Bobby's. As I passed abandoned buildings and shit, I caught something that made my stomach turn: 2014.

I was in the future? Why? I didn't sleep that long!

"'Croatoan pandemic reaches Australia'", someone and that someone was Zachariah, who read a newspaper.

I growled angrily. So it was him who had zapped me here?

"How the hell did you find me?" I snapped.

"That Christian you talked to? He was one of our 'Christian soldiers' whom we asked to keep an eye on you and your brother, who, by the way is driving behind you", he said.

To be sure, I quickly looked back and found a quite beaten up car behind us with a familiar face in the driver's seat. Dean!

I kept my surprise in me and instead glared at Zachariah.

"Right, zap us back now", I demanded.

"Oh, you'll get back—all in good time. We want you to marinate a bit", he responded.

"What?" I said and wondered for a second if I had heard right.

I was very sure that I wasn't a steak.

"Three days, Abigail. Three days to see where this course of action takes you. This is the consequences if you and your brother won't say yes to Heaven and Michael", he told me before he flew away with his stupid green wings.

"Dean", I said when he opened the door to Bobby's house.

"He's not here, they're on some camp called Camp Chitaqua", I told him when he noticed the wheelchair.

"Let's go then, we'll take my car", he said and went out again.

* * *

"Staying separated from each other is a hell lot better than together. If the angels find one of us, we don't know where the others are", Dean argued when I brought up the fact that we should be reunited, in the car.

"The angels or the demons finding us together is a hell of a lot better, then we can fight together and get rid of them , for then", I countered,

"We need each other. Family makes us stronger."

Dean held up a hand.

"Let's talk about this later, would we?"

I sighed but agreed, our priority number one was to survive this crap. That felt a bit important.

We finally arrived to the camp, where unfortunately, soldiers guarded inside the fence. And I actually spotted the Impala, who seemed a bit rusty (get the pun?) I never thought I would feel sad, like very sad by seeing her like that, but I did.

"Oh, Baby, no", Dean mumbled.

The fence had a kind of opening, which we went through, and Dean, loving his car, instantly went to watch her wistfully.

"Oh, no, Baby, what did they do to you?" he whispered, when suddenly we heard a sound.

A hard pain was felt in my he'd, before I only saw darkness.

When I woke, I noticed that Dean and I were inside a cabin, and handcuffed. Another Dean sat and cleaned his gun while watching us two. I really hated this.

"This is just fucked up", I muttered.

"I should be saying that, don't you think? In fact, why don't you give me one good reason why I shouldn't gank you two right here and now?" he questioned.

I widened my eyes, this was so not Dean. Not at all.

The Dean whom was beside me finally woke up and stared at future Dean shocked.

"What the—"

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't shoot you two on the spot right now", future Dean growled and seemed to glare more at me than Dean.

"Because you'd only be hurting yourself and your sister", Dean stated.

"Very funny."

"Look, man—I'm no shapeshifter or demon or anything, okay? Neither is Abigail", Dean told.

"Yeah, I know. I did the drill while you were out. Silver, salt, holy water—nothing. But you know what was funny? Was that you had every hidden lockpick, box cutter, and switchblade that I carry. Now, you want to explain that? Oh, and the, uh, resemblance, while you're at it?" future Dean demanded and pointed lazily at Dean.

"Zachariah", I spoke up.

Future Dean rose with a slightly surprised look on his face.

"Come again?" he said.

"We're from the end of 2009. Zachariah threw us two into the future five years from our time. Kind of annoying", I said.

"Where is he? I want to talk to him."

"We don't know", Dean admitted.

"Oh, you don't know", future Dean muttered.

"No, I don't know. Look, We just want to get back to our own friggin' year, okay?" Dean exclaimed.

"Okay. If you're me, then tell me something only I would know", future Dean said.

Dean went still and seemed to think, before he smirked and made me think of the first time he told me and Sam about one of his sex adventures.

"Rhonda Hurley. We were, uh, nineteen. She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it", Dean told us, which of course made me almost exclaim surprised.

A picture of Dean in panties that probably had string and were very thin and transparent, popped up in my head. Just the thought of his junk pressing against the perhaps transparent fabric made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Why can't I be deaf?" I mumbled.

Future Dean smirked but hid some sadness behind it all. What had happened the last five years?

"Touché. So, what, Zach zapped you up here to see how bad it gets?" he asked.

"I guess. Croatoan virus, right? That's their endgame?" I wondered.

"It's efficient, it's incurable, and it's scary as hell. Turns people into monsters. Started hitting the major cities about two years ago. World really went in the crapper after that."

"What about Sam and Abigail?" Dean asked and looked around.

Future Dean went still, like he had known we would bring it up but hoped that we wouldn't.

"Heavyweight showdown in Detroit and somewhere else. From what I understand, Sam and Abigail didn't make it", he told us.

"So, I'm dead?" I asked, but didn't get my question answered.

I looked down on the floor. Great, I was dead here, something to look forward to.

"You weren't with them?" Dean asked stunned.

"No. No, me, Abigail and Sam, we haven't talked in—hell, five years", he told us.

I widened my eyes.

"We never tried to find each other or something?" I said.

"I had other people to worry about", future Dean just replied.

And immediately, a small feeling of being denied spread in me. So we had split up and didn't try to find each other and both Sam and I were dead? Lovely. Another reason why we should stick together.

"Where're you going?" I questioned.

"I got to run an errand."

"Whoa. You're just gonna leave us here?" Dean said.

"Yes. I got a camp full of twitchy trauma survivors out there with an apocalypse hanging over their head. The last thing they need to see is a version of The Parent Trap and Les revenants. So, yeah, you stay locked down."

"Okay. All right. Fine. But you don't have to cuff us, man. Oh, come on. You don't trust yourself and your little sister?" Dean said.

"No. Absolutely not."

Future Dean then left us.

"Dick", we muttered on the same time.

"Never become like that, Dean", I said.

"Hadn't planned to", he replied while he pried out a nail from the table and locked up the cuffs.

* * *

I actually did as future Dean had said and tried to avoid as many people as possible in case someone recognized me. It was then Dean and I entered what Chuck had said was Cas' cabin. Inside was Cas, with beard and no trench coat, some women with quite the cleavage.

He and his cabin looked stoned.

"So, in this way. We're each a fragment of total perception—just, uh, one compartment in that dragonfly eye of group mind. Now, the key to this total, shared perception—it's, um, it's surprisingly physical", Cas said with a extremely calm and yoga voice.

When Cas spotted us, I quickly hid behind Dean. Cas could react how much he wanted when those women had left.

"Oh. Excuse me, ladies. I think I need to confer with our fearless leader for a minute. Why not go get washed up for the orgy?" he told before the women rose.

"You're all so beautiful."

I rolled my eyes as he stood up and stretched his back with a grunt.

"The hell, Cas? You're like…" I said and gestured to him.

"Hippie?" Dean offered.

"Exactly."

Cas widened his eyes when he saw me, since I was dead, technically.

"We got to talk", Dean stated.

"Whoa. Strange", he said and eyed Dean.

"What?" I questioned.

"You...are not you. Not now you, anyway", he said.

I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm dead, I know. We're from 2009", I told before Cas rushed to me and crushed me with a bear hug.

I really hoped my ribs wouldn't puncture anything.

"Cas, no air", I yelped in a muffled voice.

He immediately let go, only to smash his lips on mine.

It felt just like he did, his hands in my hair, fingers playing with strands and pieces. Just how I loved it.

We broke off, with Cas having a new light in his eyes, almost the same like back in 2009.

"I thought I would never see you again", he whispered and stroke my hair while clutching to my hand like he never wanted to let go.

My death and everything else seems to have been a hard hit for him, I thought sadly and let my hand cup his scrubby cheek.

"Okay, Romeo and Juliet. Why don't you strap on your angel wings and fly us back to our page on the calendar?" Dean interrupted.

Cas started to snicker.

"I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings, but I'm sorry, no dice", he laughed and sounded quite or very high.

"Are you stoned?" I asked suspiciously.

"Uh, generally, yeah", he replied.

"What the hell happened to you? Last time we met, you were wearing a trench coat", I stated.

Cas shrugged.

"With everything that's happened, what can I say, life?"

* * *

We later went out, future Dean shot a dude infected by the Croatoan virus, Dean and I got recognized, some freaked out when they saw me, future Dean explained for the people, I stayed in Cas' cabin, no orgy. I had actually shooed them away with my 'back off 'look. It had been hilarious.

"What happened with your mojo, Cas?" I asked as we lay in his bed after having some…. yeah.

And it had still been as wonderful as before, just no wings in the act.

Cas shrugged.

"I don't know. The angels just left Earth and my powers just….. drained away. Now I feel how you guys feel when you break your foot or something. Couldn't do anything in two months", he told me and intertwined his feet in mine.

He really knew how to do this. That made me think about one thing: What had happened with us?

"What happened after I left Dean to find Sam?" I whispered.

Cas got those sad puppy dog eyes that made me feel sad too.

"I couldn't find you, your phone seemed to be dead. You were gone, like you had vanished into thin air. We, of course, later found you…"

He trailed off, but I didn't press him, just the thought of me dead gave me chills. Mostly because of the consequences. Cas stoned, Dean cold as stone, Sam stone dead.

Maybe if I just said yes…

No! I thought, angry at myself for even thinking that.

If I said yes, then the planet would be toast. And how many people would be dead then? More than half of the population? And one of my brothers would then die too…

"What are you thinking about?" Cas asked.

I shrugged and rolled over so my head rested on his muscular chest.

"I don't know, why I got killed? Didn't both Heaven and Hell want me on their side?"

Cas didn't respond. He just started to play with my hair like he hadn't heard my question. Something else must have happened, or else they wouldn't avoid that question.

"I'm just so glad to see you again", Cas whispered and kissed my head softly.

I gave him a small smile and turned to kiss his chest gently.

"Cas, Dean wants you and— Oh", Chuck suddenly said when he came in.

"Chuck!" I exclaimed terrified and grabbed my bra and clasped it on quickly.

If my skin had been translucent, it would've been tomato red.

Chuck covered his eyes and slowly backed away.

"Uh… Dean wants you two to come to his cabin. Some meeting. Uh… Sorry", he whimpered and rushed out.

* * *

"So, that's it? That's the Colt?" Risa asked skeptically.

"The one and only", I said while Cas put on his feet on the table.

"Great. Have we got anything that can find Lucifer?" she snapped at future Dean's direction.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Risa going to answer and probably something rude, but Dean interrupted her.

"Oh, we were in, uh, Jane's cabin last night. And, apparently, we and...Risa have a connection."

I raised my eyebrows, before I remembered her trying to attack Dean. Awkward… For future Dean, at least. That sucker.

And then, I started to smirk, but hid it as future Dean told Dean to shut up.

"We don't have to find Lucifer. We know where he is. The demon that we caught last week, he was one of the big guy's entourage. He knew", future Dean told us.

"And what if he was lying about where Lucie is? He's a demon", I stated.

"Oh, trust me, he wasn't lying."

"And you know this how?" Risa asked.

"Our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth", Cas said.

I widened my eyes. Great, Dean was torturing here. Wonderful. Kind of… inhumane.

"Torture? Oh, so, we're—we're torturing again", Dean muttered.

Future Dean glared at Dean annoyed.

Dick.

"No, that's—that's good. Classy", Dean replied sarcastically.

Cas suddenly started to laugh quietly, which made future Dean glare at him.

"What? I like past you", he defended, which made me smirk.

"Cope with him for twenty-six years, then you'll think differently", I said and smirked.

Future Dean ignored me and put a map on the table and pointed out where Lucifer was.

"Are you saying we, uh, walk in straight up the driveway, past all the demons and the Croats, and we shoot the devil?" Cas stated.

"Yes."

"Okay, if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use 'insouciant', maybe."

"Are you coming?" future Dean questioned.

"Of course. But why is he? I mean, he's you five years ago. If something happens to him, you're gone, right?" Cas asked.

"He's got a point", I told, making both Deans glare irritated at me.

"He's coming", future Dean said and ended that part of the meeting.

"Okay. Well, uh. I'll get the grunts moving", Cas said and started to leave.

"We're loaded and on the road by midnight", future Dean ordered.

"All righty."

After Cas and Risa left, I turned to future Dean, who slammed up a bag pack on the table.

"Why are you taking him? Me? I get it, I'm already dead so—"

"Relax. You'll be fine. Zach's looking after you, right?"

"No, I mean why? What's going on? You must have a reason why you want to take us with you", I stated.

"Yeah, okay. You're coming because I want you to see something. I want you to see our brother and yourself", future Dean said.

I widened my eyes. I was alive? But he said that—

"Sam? Me? I thought we were dead", I stated shocked.

"Sam didn't die in Detroit. He said 'yes'. And then, you said 'yes' and became the weapon of Hell", future Dean said.

We had said 'yes'? Became his vessel and weapon? Why? Why would I choose to destroy this?

* * *

"There. Second-floor window. We go in there", future Dean said.

The streets were dead. No croats, no demons. Nada. Something was definitely wrong here. There should be something to guard him.

"You sure about this?" Risa asked him.

"They'll never see us coming. Trust me. Now, weapons check. We're on the move in five."

"Hey, uh, me. Can I talk to you for a sec?" Dean asked him.

They went away and me, being stupid, followed, to see Dean unconscious.

"What the hell?" I whispered before future Dean appeared and hit me in the head.

I woke up by Dean shaking me stressed.

"Come on", he told and ran for the gun shots.

I quickly followed him to a garden, where future Dean lay on the ground with a man dressed in white's foot on his neck. That man was accompanied by a woman in a long dress that reminded me of the night, black and with silver sequins that seemed to glitter like stars.

The man shifted the weight and broke future Dean's neck which killed him instantly.

How many times had I seen my brother die exactly?

I must have made a sound, because the man and the woman turned to look at us. I think that my heart either stopped, or almost did. It was Lucifer, in Sam's body… and me.

"Oh. Hello, Dean. Hello, Abigail", future me said and smiled with ruby red lips.

Even how freaked out I was, I couldn't help but think that I looked gorgeous. Beautiful makeup, stunning hair, my necklace and her wing earrings didn't make the look look worse exactly.

But it was something that killed it, that made me not seem like me, the eyes.

They were dead, emotionless. If demons didn't have black eyes, I would have looked like one.

"Aren't you a surprise", Lucifer said as the lighting flashed, making me and Dean close our eyes.

When I opened mine, future me and Lucifer stood behind us and very closely. I quickly by instinct moved away.

This just felt, wrong. Too wrong. The angelic power washed over me like a sea during a storm, or more. He was too powerful for any of us to do anything, for now at least.

"You've come a long way to see this, haven't you?" Lucifer asked.

"Well, go ahead. Kill us", Dean demanded.

Future me tilted her head and smiled.

"Kill you and myself? How… unnecessary", she stated tenderly.

Future me had a calm voice, too calm, like the calm before a storm, I thought.

How did Lucifer stand her?

"I'm sorry. It must be painful, speaking to me in this— shape. But it had to be your brother. And it had to be you. It had to be", Lucifer apologized and almost sounded human.

I hadn't expected Lucifer to sound so… sympathetic. Future me reached for my shoulder, but I hastily jerked away, which made her hand fall on her side.

"You don't have to be afraid, Abigail. What are you thinking I'm going to do to myself?" she asked gently.

"Dunno, perhaps roast us and this planet with your buddy Lucie?" I snapped before I looked at Dean, who was a few feet away from us and seemed to argue against Lucifer.

But it was only he who argued.

"Why would he and I destroy this beautiful thing? The last perfect handiwork of God", future me replied and summoned a butterfly from nothing.

I raised my eyebrow, since when could I do that?

Abigail smiled, like she knew a secret I didn't.

"Do you know why I said 'yes'?" she asked.

I didn't answer.

She sighed and let the butterfly sit on her hand palm.

"Lucifer… He knew who I really was, and he told me, after I had accepted, of course. He seemed so… sympathetic and kind. I got stronger, more powerful. He has taken care of me, since then, almost like a brother."

Abigail smiled like she again knew something I did.

"But, I guess being with so many residents from Hell must have taken away some of the old me", she giggled and crushed the butterfly in her hand and let the dust fall off her hands.

I stared at her horrified, I would never become Hell's weapon. Not if it turned me into that thing.

"Goodbye, Abigail", she said while smiling and turned, only to be dissolved into shadows.

I stared at the place where she had been, before I hurried to Dean.

"You better kill me now!" Dean snapped at Lucifer, who was walking away from him.

He slowly turned back to us.

"Pardon? Hello, Abigail. I see you have talked with your future self. Stunning, isn't she? Or you, I perhaps should say. I must say, she is the only human I have enjoyed so far", he complimented and smiled the same smile Abigail had done.

Did they share some bad inside joke or something?

"You better kill me now. Or I swear, I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop", Dean growled, with tears glittering in his eyes.

"I know you won't. I know you won't say yes to Michael, either. Or Heaven, for that part. And I know you won't kill Sam. Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here. I win. So, I win."

I closed my eyes, I wouldn't become her. Never! Dying was long before that.

"You're wrong", I said, my voice breaking.

"I'll see you soon, Abby. And see you in five years, Dean", Lucifer said smoothly before a lighting struck and his wings appeared in that transparent way.

They were beautiful, even though they were slightly burned. The feathers looked like they were made of ice, some were slightly damaged, but not much. The purest ice in the whole universe would look dirty compared to his wings. Pure ice with light of the morning, that's what they were.

And then, he was gone.

"What now?" I wondered terrified when suddenly two angels, one was Zachariah and one was a stranger, appeared and teleported us away.

Suddenly I was back at the motel, which Sam still sleeping.

So time hadn't changed here, huh?

I looked at the other angel, whom's vessel was quite tall, at least 6'2. He had dark blond long hair, blue eyes, but paler than Cas'. He was quite muscular built which could be seen since he was wearing a dark grey business suit with a white shirt under.

"Who are you? Another dickbag of angel?" I snapped.

The angel looked for a second quite baffled over how I reacted but quickly recovered.

"I am the angel Raziel", he said with a deep voice, and he had an Australian accent.

For some reason, I began to laugh, which he seemed to think as strange. He wasn't the only one.

"No, sorry. I'm just not used to hear angels talk with an accent", I laughed.

"Carry on."

"I'm sent by Zachariah. You saw what happened there? You and your brother are the only ones who can stop this. Just say yes, and we'll bring Paradise on Earth", he told me and seemed to work away his accent, perhaps so I wouldn't laugh again.

"This may be a trick, ya know? Just an alternative universe. But even if it was true, I would still answer no", I said while I slowly cut in my skin with my knife, which was in my pocket.

Easy to conceal, easy to use.

Raziel wrinkled his forehead and looked slightly hurt, for some reason.

"Have you not learned your lesson?" he asked.

"What will happen if you don't accept us."

I smiled slightly and began to draw the sigil behind myself, so it looked like I was tracing my finger over the table.

"Oh, I have learned my lesson, and that's to not to choose Hell, or Heaven. I need to do something else", I replied.

"And what is that?" Raziel asked.

"That is my little secret", I replied and smirked.

Then I tilted my head and felt a bit sad for doing this. He seemed to be a good angel, and a quite sweet.

"You seem to be nice. So I'm sorry for this", I told him wistfully.

He widened his eyes and rushed toward me with a stressed yet sad expression as I pressed my bloody hand on the angel sigil, which banished him.

That at least bought me some time to wake Sam and get away from here.

I quickly woke up Sam and told him that angels had had a little visit and that we had to leave.

Surprisingly, Sam was quick to pack everything before we left ten minutes after I had banished the innocent tall angel.

"So, what happened?" Sam asked while he drove and I sat shotgun.

I shrugged.

"Let's just say you're not having any tours in Detroit alone. And never let Cas have any drugs."

Sam looked confused but didn't question anything. Suddenly, Sam's phone started to ring. Both of us looked quite baffled before Sam asked me to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Abigail? Where are you?"

I looked at a sign on the road and informed him where we were.

"Right. Meet me by this bridge", he told and said which bridge he was talking about.

"Got it."

* * *

When we arrived, Dean was leaning against Impala with a concentrated look on his face. For a slight second, I wondered if Zachariah had tried to make him say 'yes', but somehow escaped him.

"Sam", Dean said slowly before he took out the knife.

Sam slowly backed away before Dean handed him it with the handle first.

"If you're serious and you want back in...you should hang on to this. I'm sure you're rusty", he said to him.

Sam looked at it and slowly accepted the knife and examined it. When was the last time we had been together all three? Weeks?

"Look, man, I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm...whatever I need to be. But I was, uh—wrong", he apologized.

"What made you change your mind?" Sam asked and glanced at me.

"Long story, we'll tell you later", I said.

"The point is...maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human", Dean continued, which made me cold for a second.

The thought of me, just watching Lucifer kill Dean, that dead look in my eyes, I never wanted to become that. And I kind of knew how to prevent it.

"Thank you. Really. Thank you. I won't let you down. Both of you", Sam said.

"Oh, I know it. I mean, you are the second-best hunter on the planet", Dean replied, which made me and Sam smile slightly.

"So, what do we do now?" Sam asked.

I shrugged.

"Dunno, save the world", I told.

I had to find out why was I the weapon.

Who am I? I thought.

"What else can we do?"


	18. Channel surfing

One of our first cases together again was the pagan Leshi whom we first thought was a ghost. The slightly 'funny' part was when it took the form of Paris Hilton and Dean got whacked by her/it. It was kind of hilarious.

Because, come on, it was Paris Hilton.

We then found a case where people died of things they shouldn't die of, like itching powder, joy buzzers and the weirdest of all, Tooth fairy.

Come on, I had never seen tooth fairy in my whole life.

Somehow, the boy Jesse Turner was behind all this. He believed that the prankings could kill, so they did. He believed in Tooth fairy, so it became real and killed people because he believed in that.

After some researching and a talk with his biological mother, we found out that Jesse was half demon as the demon got her pregnant.

Don't ask how, I don't know. When Cas came, he and Sam began to argue about what was right, before he zapped away with me, and taped me. Luckily, no one got hurt but Jesse disappeared, probably to Australia.

One of our next cases involved a witch gambling years, which was kind of fun since Dean aged (almost forty years, or more) and flirted with a young maid, who said that he reminded her of her grandpa. Like I said, hilarious.

And Sam actually won at poker and gave the years back to our brother, who's thirty again.

I looked around for more about my role as the Lost weapon, but no info found. Sometimes, Zachariah visited my dreams, which I found extremely annoying since he often used memories from my childhood.

* * *

Then we found another case with the Hulk, which seemed quite the Trickster-ish. Besides, perhaps we could ask him to help us in the fight. But that was a perhaps. A really big one.

I got out off the Impala and looked around. No police, no shouting or screaming, and it had been a murder.

"Is it just me, or should it be more police cars here? What does it feel like?" I wondered.

"Crappy", Sam replied.

Dean opened the trunk and handed Sam and me a stake and flashlight each, before he closed it.

I went first to open and went in after they had, and suddenly, I was wearing a lag coat and a black v-neck. All of our things were gone, no stake, not even my knife.

"What the hell?" I muttered and looked at us.

We looked weird and messed up. Perhaps because I had never seen my brothers in lab coats except for back in school.

Two women around my age went past us and greeted us with 'Doctor'.

I was a doctor, fantastic.

"Doctor?" Sam echoed before Dean opened the door that we had gone through, and revealed two people making out.

I stared at them weirded out before Dean closed it quickly.

"Oookay, weird", I mumbled as a quite good looking woman in doctor clothes approached us, and looked quite pissed, at Sam.

"Doctor", she told before she slapped him.

What'd he done? I thought shocked.

"Seriously."

"What?" Sam said confused, which all of us were.

"Seriously? You're brilliant, you know that? And a coward. You're a brilliant coward", she snapped.

"Um. What are you talking about?" Sam asked baffled.

And she slapped him again.

"As if you don't know!" she exclaimed, before she stalked off and left Sam with a slightly red cheek.

It was then I noticed something with her, had I seen her on TV? 'Cause, I remembered her somewhere.

"I don't believe this", Dean said and looked like he had seen his celebrity crush.

"Uh, her?" I asked.

"That's Dr. Piccolo. The sexy yet earnest doctor at— Seattle Mercy Hospital", he told and gestured to the receptionist desk.

"Dean, so you are saying that…" I began wearily, while Sam didn't understand a crap.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he questioned Dean, who seemed to be thinking.

"The doctor getups. The, the sexy interns. The 'seriously's. It all makes sense", he told, making me widen my eyes and groan.

"What makes sense? What's going on?"

I turned to Sam with a slightly annoyed (not at Sam) look.

"We're in Dr. Sexy, MD whatever", I explained.

Sam looked struck and very stunned.

"Guys, what the hell", Dean muttered as we walked through the corridor.

This hospital looked much more cheerful than the ones we had been to when one of us were badly hurt, like Bobby, Dean, Dean, Sam, Dad, me.

"I don't know."

"One theory. Any theory", Dean asked for.

I shrugged and glanced at some blonde giving birth to twins. That blonde was holding hands with a dark haired man and a young, very young boy with tousled dark blond hair…

"The Trickster perhaps trapped us in TV land. Sounds like something he could do", I suggested and looked away from the family.

"That's your theory. That's stupid", Dean stated.

"Yeah, but we're in freaking Dr. Sexy, MD", I replied.

"Yeah, but TV land isn't TV Land. I mean, there's actors and, and lights and crew members, you know. This looks real", Dean said.

"It can't be. Dean, how can this possibly be real?" Sam wondered while we stopped by some operation room.

"I don't know."

The door opened and revealed a woman in doctor clothes, who for some reason glared at me but firmly greeted us with 'doctors'.

What the hell had I done her? And was I some character in the series?

"And there goes Dr. Wang. The sexy but arrogant heart surgeon", Dean told us, which I didn't care so much about, I hated the show.

Too much 'seriously' and sex in the empty rooms.

"I thought you said you weren't a fan", I stated after he had rambled on about the characters.

"I'm not. I'm not", Dean denied, until he saw someone very, very familiar.

"Oh boy", he said amazed.

"What?" Sam asked.

"It's him", I said and rolled my eyes at how much Dean gawked at him.

"Who?"

"It's him. It's Dr. Sexy", Dean mumbled.

If I had said that him seeing Dr. Piccolo was weird, being him looking at Dr. Sexy was even stranger.

Dr. Sexy stopped by us and looked into Dean's eyes, or at least tried to, since Dean was looking down and tried to hide a smile.

" Doctor", he greeted.

"Doctor."

"Doctor."

"Doctor", I replied.

"Doctor", Dr. Sexy greeted Sam with.

Sam just nodded, before Dean punched him and made him say doctor too. Not a fan, huh?

"You want to give me one good reason why you defied my direct order to do the experimental face transplant on Mrs. Biehl?" he demanded and directed his question to Dean.

"One reason?" he asked and glanced at us confused.

"Sure."

He looked down at the floor, when he suddenly slammed Dr. Sexy against the wall and for a second, I thought he was going to make out with him.

But then again, Dr. Sexy was a very fine and handsome looking man, so I couldn't blame Dean.

"You're not Dr. Sexy", he stated, which made me raise my eyebrow confused.

He looked very much like Dr. Sexy.

"You're crazy", he said to Dean, who didn't let go.

"Really? Because I swore part of what makes Dr. Sexy sexy is the fact that he wears cowboy boots. Not tennis shoes", he told, making me smirk.

"Right, not a fan", I snickered.

"It's a guilty pleasure", Dean replied.

"Call security", Dr. Sexy called lazily to the two doctors that were coming to us.

"Yeah, go ahead, pal. See, we know who you are", Dean hissed.

Suddenly, everything stopped, froze. It was like someone had pushed the pause button on a TV remote. Nothing moved, except Dean, Sam, D. Sexy (who wasn't Dr. Sexy) and I.

Dr. Sexy then morphed to the Trickster, who looked quite cheerful actually.

"You guys are getting better!" he exclaimed.

I narrowed my eyes.

"Get us out of here", I ordered.

"Or what?" he asked and twisted Dean's arm so he let go of him.

"Don't say you have wooden stakes, little girl."

I hated when he called me that. It was unfair, just because he was an ancient Trickster god whatever….

"That was you on the police scanner, right? This is a trick", Sam realized.

"Hellooo? Tricksteer! Come on! I heard you three yahoos were in town. How could I resist?"

"But where are we?" I questioned and gestured to everything, the set, characters.

"Like it? It's all homemade. My own sets— My own actors… call it my own little idiot box", he said and walked around and rapped one of the windows.

"How do we get out?" I interrogated.

"That, chumpie, is the sixty-four-dollar question", the Trickster replied.

I rolled my eyes.

"Sixty-four dollars aren't much in a lottery", I muttered.

"But we need your help", I added quickly.

"Hm, let me guess. You three muttonheads broke the world, and you want me to sweep up your mess", he stated.

He had known we would say it. Definitely.

"Just five minutes, man. Listen to what we have to say", I begged.

"Sure. Tell you what. Survive the next twenty-four hours, we'll talk."

"Survive what?" Dean asked.

"The game!"

"What game?"

"You're in it."

"How do we play?"

"You're playing it."

"What are the rules, then?" I continued.

The Trickster wiggled his eyebrows and disappeared. Dick.

* * *

Then Dean got shot, Sam played doctor and stitched the gun shot with dental floss and some liquor, while I was drinking some of the alcohol too. I was an amazing doctor.

And somehow, we ended up in a Japanese show, where Sam and Dean stood on some platform in shoes that seemed to be glued.

I stood behind the Japanese dude who was shouting about something while wearing a very short white skirt, a white tank top, long boots, a silver halo and a pair of small white fluffy wings. Seriously, was this a joke?

"Let's play Nutcracker!" the host yelled and made an uppercut in the air.

"Oh, dear", I mumbled horrified.

It didn't sound good, not at all.

The host said something in Japanese before he whipped out a note from his suit.

"Sam Winchester", he began before he asked something in Japanese.

Was the Trickster serious? We couldn't speak Japanese!

"Countdown."

"What?" Sam asked bewildered as the screen beside me stared to tick down.

"Uh, what am I supposed to say?" Sam asked us.

I stared at him annoyed, did he think we could know?

"Do you think I know? I'm wearing a freaking halo!" I hissed.

"Uh, I, I don't, I don't understand Japanese", Sam tried to explain to the host.

But the host just repeated the question, was he stupid?

"Is he screwing with me? I, I, I can't speak Japanese", Sam said as the screen hit 0.

I widened my eyes and stared terrified at the screen. The name of the show was Nutcracker, what nuts would be cracked?

Oh, right, my brothers' balls.

"(something in Japanese), Ruby! I'm sorry, Sam Winchester", he excused before he hid a laugh.

"Sorry? Sir? For what?" Sam wondered.

"Dean?"

Suddenly, the ball flew up and hit Sam right in the nuts. And that was the reason why the show was called Nutcracker.

Such a nasty game….

I covered my mouth alarmed as my twin was crouching over in pain. If it hadn't been for the shoes, he would have been down on the floor right now.

"Nutcracker!" the host howled while the audience cheered.

"Sam?" Dean said concerned before Sam let out a wordless noise.

And for some reason, I was given a bag of shrimp chips. What the hell was wrong with this shit?

Somehow, I said something in Japanese, which made the host come to me, and then, I continued to rant about how good the chips were and how much skinnier you became by it. Right…

"Please buy them", I giggled, still in Japanese, when the door began to flash, like someone would come.

"What the hell?" I muttered in English.

The door then opened and revealed Cas entering. I threw away the bag and rushed back to my brothers and him. I was so happy that he was here, the wings were itching.

"Cas?" Dean said startled.

"Is this another trick?" Sam wondered.

"It's me. Uh, what are you doing here?" he asked and stared at my very exposing clothes puzzled.

If we hadn't been trapped in TV Land and in a Japanese game show, I would've blushed. But I didn't.

"What we are doing here? Discussing shrimp chips. How about you?" I wondered.

"Looking for you. You've been missing for days", Cas told us.

I raised my eyebrow, days? It felt like some hour only.

"So get us the hell out of here, then!" Sam exclaimed, still red in the face since his nuts got turned to mush.

I really hoped for Sam's sake that it could be fixed.

"Let's go", Cas told and was about to touch their foreheads, when he disappeared the way the Trickster had gone.

"Cas!" I exclaimed stunned.

"No, no, no, no. Mr. Trickster does not like pretty-boy angels", the host told as he went back to his original place.

Had he just called Cas pretty? Not that he lied, though.

He then said Dean's name and asked him a question in Japanese.

"What do I do, what do I do? I don't wanna get hit in the nuts" Dean said desperately.

"I-I, uh, just, uh— wait", I realized.

"What?"

"Sam played the doctor in Dr. Sexy MD, as he operated. I was advertising some shrimp chips. We played the roles. So, just answer the goddamn question!" I uttered.

"In Japanese? I don't know Japanese!" Dean burst out.

"Just try!"

"Dammit", Dean cursed and slammed the button before the screen hit 0.

Everyone went silent and it felt like the whole place was staring at Dean surprised.

He then said something I couldn't understand. The host read the same thing on the note, which Dean repeated.

"Dean Winchester, Nutcracker champion!" the host shouted and threw away the notes in the air and the audience started to cheer.

Japanese game shows, man…

"So, what are you going to sing?" one of the judges questioned as Sam, Dean and I stood in front of them, Sam holding a guitar and sitting on a chair.

"We are going to sing… uh… Carry On Wayward Son", I told and flashed them a smile.

"Really?" Sam hissed, he didn't like that song.

"It's a classic", we and the judges protested.

"Okay in three. One, two, three", I counted before we all three burst into song.

For some reason, the judges clapped loudly.

"That was beautiful!" one of them said and wiped a tear away from his reddened face.

"You're in!"

TV Land…

I smiled and received the golden ticket, before all of us rushed out and hugged each other like we had won the freaking whole thing.

This was just weird, and weird. And when the hell would it end?


	19. Know who you are

We actually did a commercial where Sam had genital herpes. And I had to admit, it was quite funny. But everything that was funny was his expression.

Sam opened the door and we both entered the motel room, and the applause began. I hated fake applauses, so annoying.

"Hey there. What's happening?" Dean said while a huge sandwich was on the table.

Please don't say that he is going to eat it, I thought horrified. That thing was over a feet tall.

"Nothing, ya know. Just the end of the world", I said and put on a fake smile.

Fake laugher again. Sam then eyed the sandwich before he said:

"You're gonna need a bigger mouth."

And of course, laugher, again.

Couldn't it just shut the hell up?

Dean looked at Sam like 'I know, right?'

"Hey, uh, have you done your research yet?" Sam asked him.

Dean eyed us like he had been busted. Dear goodness, what the hell had he done?

"Oh, yeah. All kinds of research. All night", Dean lied and looked away embarrassed.

"Mmh? Right", I said sarcastically before the bathroom door opened, and out walked a woman in only bikini.

And from the audience or whatever, wolf whistles could be heard.

"Oh, Dean… We have some more research to do", she purred seductively.

I rolled my eyes and looked at my embarrassed oldest brother.

"Dean", Sam and I scolded him sternly before folding our arms over our chests.

Dean then looked into an invisible camera.

"Son of a bitch!" he cursed, which sounded hilarious.

I shook my head as the audience laugh and went to the woman Dean had apparently banged.

For a quick second, I wondered if he actually had had sex with her.

"I'm so sorry, but we have some work to do", I excused and led away the woman toward the door.

"But we did do work! In depth", the woman replied and looked at Dean while saying that.

"Okay, I don't wanna hear anymore", I responded and shut the door after her.

"How long do we have to keep doing this?" I asked through my teeth before putting on a very bad fake smile.

"I don't know. Maybe forever? We might die in here", Sam suggested, which earned him some laughs.

"How was that funny? Vultures", Dean muttered while they kept laughing.

The door opened and revealed Cas in minor injuries on his face.

"What happened, Cas?" I said worriedly and hurried to his side.

"I don't have much time", he said and sounded stressed, like something was

after him.

"What happened?" Sam wondered and gestured to his injuries.

"I got out."

"From where?" Dean asked, but Cas ignored him.

"Listen to me. Something is not right. This thing is much more powerful than it should be", he told, which made me raise my eyebrow.

"The Trickster?" I questioned.

"If it is a trickster", Cas stated.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

All of sudden, Cas was thrown against the wall, which worried me. What hell could throw an angel like that with its mind?

I hurried to Cas as the Trickster jumped through the door dramatically.

"Hello!" he said loudly before I saw that Cas' mouth was duct taped, just like mine had been a few weeks ago.

And he looked cute in that, to be honest. With his blue puppy eyes…

"Thank you. Thank you, ladies."

"Hi, Castiel!" he then said cheerfully as Cas glared at him shocked.

He then gestured with his hand, which made Cas vanish and me to let out a short cry.

"You know him?" Sam asked.

"Where is he?" I demanded angrily.

He had hurt Cas, probably twice now. But Sam had a point, how could the Trickster know about his name?

"Relax, he'll live… Maybe", the Trickster told, which made me almost lunge myself at him.

And I would have, if not for my brothers, who held me back.

If he hurt Cas again…

"If you hurt Cas, then I swear, I will shove a fucking stake up in your ass!" I snarled before I ripped myself free from my brothers' grip, but didn't attack him.

"You know what? I'm so done with this shit. I get it!"

"Get what, mini angel?" he smirked and probably referred to the game show thing.

"Play our roles, right? That's the fucking game?"

"That's half the game", the Trickster stated.

"What's the other half?" Sam wondered.

"Play your roles out there", he said and gestured to 'outside'.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean questioned.

"Oh, you know. Sam starring as Lucifer. Dean starring as Michael. And Abigail starring as their dance partner. Your celebrity death match. Play your roles", he told, making me gag.

"You want us to say yes to those idiots?" I snorted skeptically.

"Hells yeah. Let's light this candle!"

"Are you nuts? The world will freaking end!" I burst out.

"Yeah? And whose fault is that? Who was responsible for breaking the first seal?Who popped Lucifer out of the box? Hm? Look, it's started. You started it. It can't be stopped. So let's get it over with!" he told.

"Heaven, Hell, which side are you on?" I questioned coldly while glaring at the Trickster.

That sucker, bringing up Sam and killing Lilith..

"I'm not on either side", he stated.

"Yeah, right. You're grabbing ankle for Michael or Lucifer. Which one is it?" Dean

questioned.

"You listen to me, you arrogant dick. I don't work for either of those S.O.B.s. Believe me."

But Dean didn't seem to buy it, not from I could read from his face.

"Oh, you're somebody's bitch", Dean stated.

The Trickster's smile disappeared as he shoved Dean harshly against the door and looked more dangerous than any monster I had seen. With Sam and I tensed, ready to attack if he hurt Dean.

"Don't you ever, ever presume to know what I am", he hissed.

He changed his grip, which made us relax a bit, definitely not entirely.

"Now listen very closely. Here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna suck it up, accept your responsibilities, and play the roles that destiny has chosen for you" he demanded, his voice breaking slightly.

"And if we don't?" Sam asked.

"Then you'll stay here in TV Land. Forever. Three hundred channels and, uh, nothing's on", he smirked and snapped his fingers.

Suddenly, we were standing by a crime scene and Sam and Dean were wearing sunglasses, at night. And I was wearing kind of the same thing I wore as a FBI agent, except that my blouse was blue and also was wearing sunglasses.

"Oh, come on", Dean groaned irritated as the cameras flashed to take pictures of the body.

"So, what do you think?" one officer questioned.

"What do I think? I think go screw yourself, that's what I think", Dean snapped at him, which made me put my hand on his arm and glare slightly at him.

"Can you give us a sec?" I wondered.

The officer nodded and turned back to the crime scene.

"Dean, you gotta calm down", I said lowly.

"Calm down? I am wearing sunglasses at night", Dean exclaimed and yanked them off before he continued.

"You know who does that? No-talent douchebags. I hate this game. I hate that we're in a procedural cop show and you wanna know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. There's like three hundred of them on television and they're all the freaking same. It's, ooh, plane crashed here—oh, shut up!"

Sam turned and looked at the crime scene and took off his glasses too. And me, not wanting to be alone with glasses, took mine off too.

"Hey. Check out sweet tooth over there", he told and nodded toward the officer, who was sucking on a lollipop.

"That's him?" I asked.

"Just, um, follow my lead", Sam stated and started to go to the body in a extremely cheesy way while putting on the glasses.

I swore that he watched CSI Miami. But unfortunately, we had to do the same thing.

"You, uh, you okay?" the officer asked us when we stood by the corpse.

"Yeah. What do we got?" Dean questioned and sounded quite funny.

"Well, aside from the ligature marks around his neck, he has what appears to be a roll of quarters jammed down his throat", he informed as he kneeled over the body,

We took off our glasses to see the wounds better.

And man, that was the most normal way a person been murdered by. Was a long time I had seen that kind of kill.

"Well I say, jackpot", Sam told gravely, which I almost started to laugh over.

The officer snorted amused before he started to wave around with his lollipop over the corpse, which was full of ants. Nice, dude, I thought disgusted.

"Also, there is a stab wound to the lower abdomen and full of ants there", he added and put the lollipop back in his mouth.

Disgusting.

Dean grabbed a stick and poked the hole hole and got blood on it.

Smart there, Dean, I thought and smiled slightly.

"Well I say, no guts, no glory", he responded and put on the glasses.

"Well I say… antastic", I joked seriously and put on the glasses and tried to look cheesy cool.

"Get that guy a Tums", Sam said and put on his glasses.

"Gutter ball", Dean said, making the officer laugh really hard.

"Good one, guys."

Dean walked up behind and stabbed him in his chest.

Seemed like the guy got a… heart attack.

The officer fell down on the ground, when another started to laugh smugly.

Then, the other one morphed into the Trickster, who still laughed.

"You've got the wrong guy, idiots", he announced.

"Did we?" Dean questioned before Sam stabbed him in the back.

As he fell down on the ground, we were zapped back to the warehouse, where we originally had been.

"Seems like it's over, guys", I stated, feeling worried about Cas, shouldn't he be here?

* * *

"Have you seen Sam?" I wondered as I put on my jacket.

Dean shook his head and waved with his phone, implying that he was trying to call him.

"Sam. It's me. Where the hell did you go?" he said to the phone as we got into the car, with me sitting shotgun.

"Dean? Abigail?" Sam's voice said, but he didn't said in the backseat and his voice sounded a bit odd, like he was talking through a radio.

"Sam? Where are you?" I wondered and looked around.

"I don't know."

I then noticed how the red light flashed as Sam talked. This… this was just too much Knight Rider.

"Oh crap. I don't think we killed the Trickster", Sam swore, as he realized that he was the Impala.

"Okay, stake didn't work. So, what, this is another trick?" Dean asked when we were on the road, sitting in Sam.

Okay… that came out weird.

"I don't know. Maybe the stake didn't work because it's not a trickster?" Sam stated, which made me think.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"You heard Cas. He said this thing was too powerful to be a trickster", Sam continued.

"Did you notice how the Trickster knew Cas' name, and when he got pissed at Dean for bringing up the two dicks?" I wondered.

Dean nodded while I tried to figure it out.

Stake, no effect. Knowing Cas, weird. Getting pissed because of the two oldest Archangels. You never got that angry, unless they were talking about their own….

"Shit", I said and widened my eyes.

"What?" Sam and Dean asked me.

"I know what we're dealing with. We'll need some holy vinaigrette", I told.

* * *

"Perhaps the Trickster knows something about us", I stated while Dean poured the oil in a circle.

"What do you mean?"

I shrugged.

"You know, being the Weapon, why I can resist some of the angel mojo, why you are the vessels."

"Guess we'll find out", Dean mumbled as he hid the oil in the trunk, which was Sam's ass.

"Dean?"

"What?"

"That, uh, feels really uncomfortable", Sam muttered, making me snicker.

Come on, Dean had touched his butt before, as a baby.

Dean rolled his eyes and shut the trunk not that hard.

"Ow. You sure this is gonna work?" Sam asked.

I held up my hands like 'no idea' before I answered.

"No, but that's our only option."

I took a few steps forward before I cupped my hands around my mouth and began to shout to the sky.

"Alright! Fine! We'll do it!"

It was silent.

"Should I honk?" Sam asked, which made me roll my eyes.

Suddenly, the Trickster appeared from nowhere and went to Sam.

"Wow. Sam. Get a load of the rims on you", he joked.

"Eat me", Sam muttered.

The Trickster let out a whistle before he turned to us.

Please, let our theory be right I begged.

"Okay, boys and mini angel. Ready to go quietly?" he questioned.

"Um, not until Sam has his hair back, along with a set of feet and hands", I ordered.

"What's the difference? Satan's going to ride his ass one way or another", he replied, which earned him an annoyed glare from both me and Dean, and probably Sam, if he had had eyes.

He rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. The red lights went out and Sam stepped out of the car and looked a bit relieved over being flesh and blood again.

"Happy?"

"Tell me one thing. Why didn't the stake kill you?" Dean wondered.

"I am the Trickster", he replied.

"Or maybe you're not."

Sam light a lighter and dropped it on the ground, making the oil ignite and create a ring of holy fire around the perhaps angel.

"Maybe, you've always been angel", I stated and watched the flames dance around him.

The Trickster looked at me skeptically before he laughed a laugh that sounded fake, like he tried to hide it, from us, and perhaps from himself.

"A what? Somebody slip a mickey in your power shake, little girl?" he wondered.

I raised my eyebrow.

"Sure, jump out through the fire without dying and we will call it our mistake", I said and gestured like 'be my guest'.

The Trickster laughed before he realized that he was busted. The scene changed and we were back in the warehouse.

He then started to clap his hands slowly.

"Well played, guys. Well played. Where'd you get the holy oil?" he questioned.

"Well, you might say we pulled it out of Sam's ass", Dean replied, making both me and Sam look at him like 'seriously, dude?"

"Where'd I screw up?"

"You didn't. Nobody gets the jump on Cas like you did", Sam told.

"It was mostly how you talked about the Apocalypse", I stated.

"Meaning?"

"Well, call it personal experience, but no one gets that angry unless it's about their own family", I told him.

"So which one are you? Grumpy, Sneezy, or Douchey?" Sam interrogated.

"Gabriel, okay? They call me Gabriel", he said slowly.

I widened my eyes, an Archangel? What was next? Seeing Jesus on a tortilla?

"Gabriel? The Archangel?" I questioned.

"Guilty", Gabriel admitted.

From nothing, the angelic power hit me like a tsunami. And it was just sightly weaker than Raphael's had been.

"Okay, Gabriel. How does an Archangel become a trickster?" Dean asked.

"My own private witness protection. I skipped out of Heaven, had a face transplant, carved out my own little corner of the world. Till you three screwed it all up", he accused and pointed at us.

"What did Daddy say when you ran off and joined the pagans?" Dean continued.

"Daddy doesn't say anything about anything", Gabriel replied.

"What happened? Why did you leave Heaven?" I questioned.

"Do you blame him? I mean, his brothers are heavyweight douchenozzles", Dean answered.

Gabriel glared at him with so much venom I slightly feared Dean would faint.

"Shut your cakehole. You don't know anything about my family. I love my father, my siblings. Love them. But watching them turn on each other? Tear at each other's throats? I couldn't bear it! Okay? So I left. And now it's happening all over again", Gabriel said, his eyes locked at mine the whole time.

"Then help us stop it", Sam said.

"It can't be stopped", Gabriel stated, still looking at me.

"You wanna see the end of the world?" Dean snapped.

"I want it to be over! I have to sit back and watch my own siblings kill each other thanks to you! Heaven, Hell, I don't care who wins, I just want it to be over!"

"It doesn't have to be like that. There has to be some way to, to pull the plug", Sam protested, making Gabriel laugh with no trace of amusement in his voice.

"You do not know my family. What you call the Apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner. That's why there's no stopping this, because this isn't about a war. It's about three siblings who loved each other, and betrayed each other. You'd think you'd be able to relate", Gabriel stated.

I widened my eyes…

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

"You sorry sons of bitches. Why do you think you two are the vessels and why Abigail is the Weapon? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father. Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan. And, of course, Abigail, the youngest, in the middle of the crossfire. You were born to this. It's your destiny! It was always you! As it is in Heaven, so it must be on Earth. One brother has to kill the other, with their sister at one side", Gabriel explained, which made me pale enormously.

No…

"What the hell are you saying?" Dean asked.

"Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you? Because from the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you three. Always. You know it too, little sister", he said.

"Abigail, what is he talking about?" Dean demanded while I grabbed Sam's arm to not fall.

From one second to another, my necklace started to burn hot, sending out the same sound as an angel, saying the same thing over and over again.

Who are you?

I grabbed the heart and tried to yank it off, but it was stuck like it was glued onto my palm. The voices started to say more, demanding it harder and harder. My head felt it was going to explode. My body burned like fire and ice on the same time, and I had no idea how much more I could take.

"Abby!" my brothers shouted and tried to rip off the necklace, but in vain.

"The necklace! Open it!" Gabriel yelled and looked at me worried, or at least, that's what I believed I saw.

Black spots started to invade my vision, making everything more blurrier and darker.

"Now!"

"Ol Bolape A Turbs De Elo!" I cried out by instinct.

I am the Beauty of God!

The necklace stopped its chanting and opened up into two outspread wings.

An invisible force rushed out from it, like the wind, and suddenly, I knew.

Twenty-six years, it had been so many years ago since I had put everything inside that little jewelry. After such a long time, yet short, I hadn't known. But now, I was finally whole.

I rose with steady legs and looked at Gabriel the same way I had looked at him for so many years ago.

"I remember everything."

My voice came out, clear as a bell, sounding more calm and controlled than it had sounded in so long time.

"So… you are an…" Dean began and looked at me with widened eyes.

I nodded.

"Yes, I'm an angel. I'm the Archangel Jophiel."


	20. Memory lane

**A/N: Thank you for your reviews and likes! And for this chapter, I may warn you so slightly weird/cheesy lines**

Sam and Dean stared at me for good couple of minutes. And after awhile (which was for me ten seconds) I got uncomfortable.

I didn't want them to think I was different. I was still Abigail Winchester, their little sister.

"Please, stop stare at me, it's awkward. I'll tell you later", I said tiredly.

Dean was the first the reply actually, I had thought it would be Sam.

"You make it sound so simple."

"It's quite simple, really. If you skip the details, at least", I told.

Sam raised his eyebrows along with Dean, but none of them protested. I turned and watched Gabriel, who had that little smile tugging at his lips.

"I think I would like you to bring Cas back from where you have him, big brother", I said.

"Oh, am I, little sister?" he replied.

"I think my threat in TV Land still applies here", I told and smiled like 'do it, you son of a bitch'.

I loved him, I really did, but sometimes, you just had to throw in that little punch. He knew I wouldn't do it, perhaps.

Gabriel stared at me, before he raised his hand and snapped his fingers. From nowhere, Cas appeared, still bloody. I walked to his side and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Cas, you okay?" I asked him.

"I'm fine. Hello, Gabriel", he said and glared slightly at him.

Not me to judge, Gabriel seemed to have put him in a horror movie or something.

"Hey, bro. How's the search for Daddy going? Let me guess. Awful", Gabriel said rudely, making both me and Cas glare at him.

I didn't know where Dad was, but I knew he was alive and that we maybe could find him. He was Dad, after all.

"Okay, we're out of here. Come on, guys", Dean told us and turned to walk away.

I cast a look on Gabriel before I turned too. Guilt weighed in my chest. Should I free him or not?

"Uh… Okay. Guys? So, so what? Huh? You're just gonna, you're gonna leave me here forever?" Gabriel questioned and sounded quite desperate.

We all turned and looked at him.

"No. We're not, 'cause we don't screw with people the way you do. And for the record? This isn't about some prize fight between your brothers and Abby, or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family!" Dean yelled before he activated and fire alarm.

"Don't say I never did anything for you."

I looked at my brother one last time, before I left. And I was sure that I had seen him shed one tear.

"All that stuff he was spouting in there, you think it was the truth?" Dean asked me while leaning against the Impala.

I shrugged.

"He believes it, and so did I", I told them.

"So what do we do?" Dean wondered.

"I don't know", I answered.

"Well I'll tell you one thing. Right about now I wish I was back in a TV show", Dean said to us.

I nodded before I got into the car, with Cas flying away to find Dad.

* * *

"So… Archangel, huh?" Dean said while we sat on the hood while drinking beer.

I nodded and took a swig.

"Yup, but I'm still me", I added.

"You wanna tell us, about…" Sam started.

"Everything? Yeah. I just want you guys to know something for sure, we were happy. Before. In Heaven. And Lucifer, he wasn't like he is now, not really. None of us were like we are now…."

* * *

 _"How am I going to create light, Lucifer? I don't understand our Father's request. I am of the Night, not Light", I stated and watched the great Nothing, infused with what Father called matter._

 _Lucifer smiled and put one of his wings around me._

 _"These lights won't be like any other light Father will create. They will light up and beautify the Night even more than it already is. And as you said: You're of the Night, so it's only right that you shall create it", he said kindly._

 _I nodded slowly and spread my wings while beginning to make the matter collide with itself into something. The atoms, which Father also called them, created huge explosions, much much bigger than ourselves, before they collected themselves into burning sphere-formed gas._

 _Lucifer had been right, they really made the Night much more beautiful._

 _"What will you call them, sister?"_

 _I looked at my work proudly before turning to look at Lucifer._

 _"Stars. I shall call them stars."_

* * *

"You made the stars, with your wings?" Dean asked astonished and looked like he tried to imagine it.

I sighed, he had interrupted me at least two times now.

"Yes, and it didn't look like I was spreading glitter in the cosmos. It was kind of like creating exploding energy that turned into a ball of light", I explained and took a new swig.

* * *

 _"What do you think about them?" Raphael asked me while we and the rest of our brothers flew back and forth to take care of our youngest brothers and sisters._

 _Even though they were older than Earth (which had existed for a long time, but not very long compared to me or my brothers), they still needed training to be able to carry out Father's orders and messages._

 _"They seem to become good soldiers", I answered and watched the angel Castiel who was standing beside an angel of his garrison named Uriel._

 _Father had told us to take care of the groups until they could handle themselves. And what I saw, it wasn't much more time left._

 _"I agree, but since they are much weaker than us, shouldn't we watch over them always?" he asked me._

 _I shook my head and focused on Lucifer, who was helping a very young angel to fly._

 _"They may be weaker than us, brother, but Father said that they will be fine and strong when they are old enough. I promise, brother, they will be okay", I said and touched his electric blue wingtip with my dark._

 _"Raphael, Jophiel, Father wants us to come to his throne room", Lucifer informed and shook his wings, something he could do sometimes._

 _"Where is Gabriel and Michael?" Raphael asked._

 _"They are already there. We must hurry, he told he wanted us to come as fast as possible."_

 _I spread my wings and appeared the Throne Room, where Father sat and Michael and Gabriel stood kneeled in front of him._

 _"Father", all of us said while our heads down to the floor._

 _"Rise, my children. Let us go down to Earth", he told us._

 _We all obeyed and flew down to Earth, where Father had created land, water, night, day, birds, creatures of sea. And it was beautiful. In a lot of different ways too._

 _"You have done it wonderful, Father", I complimented him._

 _"Thank you, my daughter. I have called you here, because I want you to help me to create animals", he told us._

 _"How does an animal look like, Father?" Michael asked him._

 _"That is what you can decide, Michael", Father answered and raised his hands._

 _"Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind", he said and suddenly, the lands were full of animals in different shapes and sizes._

 _The second they had come into existence, I knew all of their names. Every one of the creatures he had made was stunning in their own way, but I felt like it could be needed some other species._

 _An animal started to form in my head. A beautiful four legged animal with a long snout and not too long ears, a furry tail…_

 _"Let there be wolves, who shall howl to the moon at night, so everyone can hear them", I said._

 _And then they came into existence. I decided that it would be different races, some bigger or furrier than others._

 _"They are very beautiful creatures", Lucifer told me when a wolf watched us, before walking away with the rest of her pack._

 _"Thank you, brother", I thanked._

 _I was very happy that we had taken on a smaller size to not harm any animal._

 _That had accidentally happened when Gabriel would visit the Earth when Father had created huge beasts called Dinosaurs. They had sadly gotten extinct, since Father decided to create something else. There was still a huge crater after that event._

 _"Can I, Father?" Raphael asked._

 _"Be my guest, son."_

 _"Let there be tigers, who shall be excellent predators and respected", he told clearly._

 _And so, they appeared. The tigers were big but had a lovely fur with stripes._

 _"Very good, now, Lucifer", Father said and nodded toward him._

 _"Let there be peacocks, with stunning feathers to behold", he told, and then they were._

 _One of them spread out their tail and revealed to us colorful feathers with eyes._

 _"Remarkable, brother", I said._

 _"And you, Michael", Father said._

 _"Let there be lions, big and majestic, who shall rule the savannah", he told._

 _A big pack of lions appeared with glistering golden fur, their color reminding me of my youngest older brother's wings._

 _"Good, Michael. Gabriel", Father said and looked at Gabriel, who seemed to be in deep thought._

 _"I know now!" he exclaimed and raised his hand to snap his fingers._

 _Suddenly, a strange creature with the bill of a duck, feet of an otter, the fur and tail of a beaver appeared._

 _"What is that?" I asked surprised over the creature's appearance._

 _"This is a platypus", he told us proudly and held up it._

 _"Where can we have them?"_

 _Father, who never had been speechless, was it for a second before he straightened up._

 _"It is very pretty, Gabriel", he said and smiled._

 _"Let us have them in what I shall call Australia with my other special creations."_

* * *

"Wait, so, Gabriel created the platypus? No wonder why they look so weird", Dean interrupted, again, making me roll my eyes.

"Yes, he did, and believe me, my other brothers got really or very stunned of it", I told and smiled at the memory.

With human emotions, I could experience my memories with stronger feelings, sometimes in a positive but sometimes in a negative way. Like when Lucifer fell… Or everything else.

"Abby, you said that your brothers changed, but you didn't say why", Sam reminded me kindly.

I nodded slowly.

"Yeah, they changed. We all changed. It was after the complete evolution of Humanity. You", I said softly.

"Don't get me wrong. I loved you. The second the first humans were placed in the Garden and we're allowed to speak with you, I did it. I was in Eden, guarding the Tree of Life, watching joyfully how Adam and Lilith interacted in the Garden. I even befriended them", I told, smiling sadly at the memories.

"Then the War came. With Lucifer not standing Dad's creation, he rebelled. Asked us to stand by his side. But none of us did that. Because that had been His orders, and I loved Humanity. Gabriel left, but you already know that, of course.

But then… after everything, when Lucifer tricked Gadreel, entered the Garden, twisted Lilith's soul, making you sin for the first time. Father… He ordered Michael to cast down Lucifer to the Cage, and me to drive out Adam and Eve from Eden. So I that's what I did. I threatened Adam, my friend, and Eve with a flaming sword, driving them out from Eden, their eyes filled with tears."

I sighed heavily and continued again. Memories, so different with a human body, so… intense. Everything was still so crystal clear, I could almost relive it over again.

"Then… I locked up Gadreel, on Father's orders. Hearing him scream and beg for forgiveness, the feeling when hearing that… it's indescribable. You see, he's one of the oldest angels in Creation, not counting my older brothers or I, and the first angel I raised, and I basically condemned him to an eternity of torture. Locking Gadreel up… It felt like locking up someone who's like my little brother and son. Then Dad left, leaving all of us, Michael, Raphael and me, weeping and pleading for him to come back. It took a century for us to truly come back from that, and begin to rule the universe. And that was when all of us changed."

Regret, shame. All of it, rushing into me at once. If I just could do a do-over…

"My brothers, like I told you before, they weren't like they're now. We grew colder, harsher. I began to hold a grudge against you, believing you to be the reason for my little brother's eternal torture, Dad leaving us, Lucifer falling from the whole beginning. You have no idea how many times I could have gotten down to Earth, whisper in people's ears, answering their prayers, telling them that they're loved, that they're beautiful. How things could perhaps been different then. But I never did. And that is one of my greatest regrets, not being there for Humanity."

Sam and Dean were silent and seemed to try to think what to say. Not that I judged them, I spilled out some pretty old things about my past. Seeing my brother fall from Heaven, locking Gadreel up, betraying Humanity, it still was inside me like a never closing wound. And I would bear it as long as I lived, which was probably forever.

"Abby, I gotta ask you, and this is going to be kind of déjà vu for me, but why did you fall? If you held a grudge against us, why becoming one of us? And why haven't you gotten hunted?" Dean asked me.

I shrugged.

"I knew the Apocalypse would happen the next century, so, I don't know, I wanted to flee from all of it, I guess. Do a Gabriel, kind of. And Michael probably didn't want anyone to know that an Archangel had fallen, again.

But the thing with Archangels, is that our Grace can't really disappear like regular angels. It will come back, to the End, I know that. It'll go quicker if I choose one side. Don't ask how, I don't know myself, actually. And I'm an Archangel."

"Well, your family is quite messed up and would need some Dr. Phil", Dean replied, making me laugh.

"I think you're right, the Winchesters and Heaven need some therapy.


	21. Chuck

A few days later, Chuck sent us a message that said that needed to get to Pineview Hotel as quick as possible, saying it was life or death. So of course, we drove like hell to the place and were about to run to the building, when I noticed almost a dozen more Impalas were parked. Was I hallucinating?

"Guys, come on", Sam urged.

Chuck stood outside the place, pacing back and forth. What the hell had happened? At least he didn't have a scratch.

"Chuck! There you are", Sam exclaimed.

Chuck turned and looked at us confused.

"Guys?"

"Has something happened? Angels attacking you or something?" I asked.

"Ah, nothing. You know, I'm just kinda hanging. I saw in a vision about you, good to know that you remember everything. But, what are you guys doing here?"

"Thanks. Uh, you texted us to come", I said.

"Ah, no I didn't", Chuck said.

I raised my eyebrow, had he been possessed or something? But I didn't sense any demonic power around him, so that was great.

"Yeah you did, you texted me. This address, life or death situation. Any of this ringing a bell?" Sam said annoyed.

"I didn't send you a text", Chuck stated.

" What? We drove all the freaking night without any sleep!" I blurted out.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what could… oh no", Chuck said and looked momentarily horrified.

"What?" Dean asked.

We didn't need hear the answer of that question, because the answer was running to us.

"SAM! You made it!", a very familiar voice squealed excitedly.

I turned my head to see that Becky fangirl run down the stairs to 'greet', or fangirl over Sam a bit.

"Oh, ah, Becky, right?" Sam said uncomfortably, and I didn't judge him, that girl had caressed his chest last time we met.

"Oh, you remembered. You been thinking about me", she purred lowly, which creeped me out.

"I…"

Poor Sammy, I thought horrified.

"It's ok, I can't get you out of my head either."

"Becky, did you take my phone?" Chuck questioned, like it usually happened.

"I just borrowed it from your pants."

I widened my eyes and glanced at Chuck, who looked quite defeated. Poor him too, I thought.

"Becky…"

"What? They're going to want to see it!" Becky fangirled.

"See what?" Sam, Dean and I said in unison.

Doesn't sound good, not good at all, I thought in my head.

"Oh my God. I love it when they talk at the same time!" she shrieked.

A guy in yellow shirt and a clipboard appeared outside the building, looking at Chuck.

"Hey Chuck? Come on pal, it's showtime", he said.

Becky smiled cheerfully and grabbed my arm and pulled me up to the house.

"You will love it!" she squealed.

"Eh… Okay", I said and smiled nervously.

Somehow, we ended up behind my brothers and Chuck, when a guy in Dean's clothes walked past us with a beer.

"Hey Dean, looking good", he laughed.

"Who the hell are you?" Dean snapped.

"I'm Dean too. Duh."

He then paced away, leaving us stunned. Okay, what the hell?

"Becky what's going on?" I hissed, but she didn't hear since she was looking at how wonderful this whole thing was, which is wasn't.

Suddenly, the Scarecrow we had met a couple of years ago come with a soda can in his hand. And I was 100% sure that I looked at him like he was an alien.

"Uh-oh. It's Sam, Abigail and Dean. I'm in trouble now", he stated.

"Have fun you three. Aaaah!"

He jiggled the scythe in Sam's face as Sam gave him a bitchface, which was quite funny.

I loved Sam's bitchfaces.

"What?" Dean and I said baffled.

I looked around and the only thing I saw was things from my life. Bobby, demons, Meg 0.1, Ruby 0.1, Clown (Rakshasa), Bloody Mary, Ash, me, Sam, Dean, you name it. And I was extremely relieved that Chuck hadn't published any more books, or else I would find badly dressed Castiels here too.

Or worse: Lucifer, even though I hadn't seen him.

"Becky, what is this?" I asked her while she looked at me eagerly.

"It's awesome! A Supernatural convention, the first ever", she told me.

The color drained of both Sam, Dean and my faces as we looked at the fans. And again, I was happy to have my memories back.

I was quite used with people believing me to be fake and wearing weird ass costumes, trying to look like me, from the Bible and so on.

But Sam and Dean, not so much.

* * *

Sam, Dean, Becky and I stood behind the chair that were placed for the fans while the dude in yellow stood on the scene.

"Welcome to the first annual Supernatural convention. At 3.45 in the Magnolia room we have the panel, 'Frightened little boy, the secret life of Dean'. And at 4.30 there's the 'Homoerotic subtext of Supernatural'", he told, making me laugh quietly.

Still Wincest, something that was hilarious with this thing at least.

"Oh, and of course the big hunt starts at 7pm sharp", he added making everything applaud and cheer, but us.

"But right now, right now I'd like to introduce the man himself. The creator, the writer of the Supernatural books. The one, the only, Carver Edlund!"

Again, cheering as Chuck entered the scene, holding a water bottle in his hand.

"Ok. Ok good, this isn't nearly as awkward as I… Dry mouth", he started and took big gulps of water form the bottle, making me feeling a bit sorry for that poor dude.

"Okay. Uh… ahem. So I guess… questions?"

And surprisingly (not), everyone held up their hand, which made Chuck startled. What would he had guessed? With all the weird fans out there?

"Uh…. you?"

"Hey, Mr Edlund. Uh...big fan. I was just wondering, where'd you come up with Sam, Abigail and Dean in the first place?"some guy asked.

Chuck glanced nervously at us, making me look at him like 'go on'.

"Oh, ah, I...it just came to me."

All the hands rose again, still not surprised.

"Ok. Yeah. The hook man."

"Ah yeah. Why in every fight scene, Sam, Abigail and Dean are having their gun knocked away by the bad guy? Why don't they keep it on some kind of bungee?" the Hookman with a German accent asked.

I looked at Sam and nodded appreciably, that guy had some sense actually.

"Maybe we should try it", I suggested lowly, making Sam nod.

"I...yeah, I really don't know", Chuck admitted while I shrugged slowly.

"Ja, follow up. Why can't they be telling that Ruby is evil? I mean she is clearly manipulating Sam into some kind of moral lapse. It's obvious, nein? And why didn't Abigail tell them that she would go to Hell?"

I shifted on myself before I looked at Becky, who seemed furious over that he'd insulted Sam, and me, maybe.

"HEY! If you don't like the books don't read em Fritz", she yelled and walked down the row of chair while shooting flames at him.

"Ok, Ok, just..okay, it's okay. So, next question. Yeah, you."

"Yeah, at the end of the last book, Dean and Abigail go to hell. So, what happens next?" a fan dressed as me asked.

"Oh. Well there lies an announcement, actually. You're all going to find out", Chuck said, making us glance at him suspiciously.

No, please, don't….

"Thanks to a wealthy Scandinavian investor, we're going to start publishing again."

Oh fuck.

* * *

"Oh, Abigail, how about salting some corpses after this, eh?" some guy dressed as some random hunter said and winked.

I smiled sweetly at him while Dean and Sam shot daggers at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that I don't date humans, prefer the Attic", I said and shoved him away gently.

"The worst pickup line ever", I muttered and took a chair between Becky and Chuck.

"Oh, hi, Sam! Hi, Abby", she said with her eyes lighting up and Chuck looking down.

"Excuse us. In case you haven't noticed, our plates are kind of full, okay? Finding the Colt, hunting the devil. We don't have time for this crap", Dean snapped.

"Hey, I didn't call you!" Chuck exclaimed.

"He means the books, why are you still publishing them?" I asked.

"Um...for food and shelter?"

"Who gave you the rights to our life story?" Dean said while leaning over his chair.

"An Archangel, and I didn't want it!"

I sighed, stupid brothers…

"Next time I meet Michael or Raphael, I'm gonna shove their permission up in their asses. And it's a miracle that I haven't noticed how many times I've insulted myself as angel during the chapters. But I gotta say, pompous angel was a good one", I added.

"Deal's off, ok. No more books. Our lives are not for public consumption", Sam finished and glanced at Becky, who glanced at Chuck.

There was a lot of glancing here.

"Ah… Becky. Would you excuse us for just a second?"

Chuck lead us to the hallway (where a lot of fans remarked how much I looked like myself. I told them it was the hair.)

"Do you guys know what I do for a living?" Chuck questioned.

"Yeah, Chuck, we know", Sam stated.

"Then could you tell me? Cause I don't, all right? I'm not a good writer. I've got no marketable skills. I'm not some hero who can just hit the road and fight monsters, Ok? Until the world ends, I gotta live, all right? And the Supernatural books are all I've got. What else do you want me to do?"

"Bicycle touring", I suggested as a women suddenly began to scream.

"No, guys…wait!" Chuck burst out as Sam and Dean took off.

He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me back.

"What the hell! There's something that's happened!" I growled.

Chuck shook his head.

"It's the LARPing", he told weakly, making me cringe.

"No… Come on", I grumbled.

* * *

A lot of fans dressed in FBI suits flipped up their badges to the guy who now wore a suit.

"Well yes, Agents Lennon and McCartney, as manager of this fine establishment I can assure you that it is indeed haunted. This building was once an orphanage, run by mean old Leticia Gore. 100 years ago this very night, Miss Gore went insane, and butchered four little boys before killing herself. Now folks say that the souls of those poor little boys are trapped here and the evil spirit of Miss Gore punishes them to this very day", he told them, making me roll my eyes.

"Well that's just about all the community theatre I can take", Dean stated.

Then, the dude and another guy (along with the me-dressed guy) went in front of us while LARPing.

Just shoot me, I thought. People dressing up like us… I maybe never would get used to that.

"Dad said...he said I may have to kill you", the Dean said in fake low voice.

"Kill me? What the hell does that mean?" the Sam replied.

"I don't know."

"We have to figure out what to do now", fake me added softly.

Did I really sound like that? Oh my father.

They walked away as we met each others' faces.

"I need a drink."

* * *

We later found out that there were real ghosts, so naturally, we burned the mother, who wasn't the bad guy. It was the three kids who had scalped the poor boy ghost.

And with the help of the ghost actor, the fake Winchesters and I had managed to get out from the house.

"Oh my God. Supernatural makes digging graves seem so easy. It's not though. I'm gonna throw up", fake Sam complained, which made me annoyed.

It was really enough that Becky had dragged us here, only for us to have a stupid case with fake-us.

"Can you stop complain and dig faster, there's people's life on stake", I snapped and threw away a pile of dirt.

"How aren't you tired?" fake me asked surprised.

I threw away another pile before I turned my head to him while I kept digging.

"Because I have done this a thousands times, plus, I'm been doing heavier things", I replied.

Fake Winchesters stared at me horrified before they continued to dig, slightly faster.

I slowly began to feel bad for snapping at them, it definitely wasn't their fault, and I supposed it was a hell lot better throwing up by digging a grave than been doing it since you were ten or nine.

"I'm sorry", I muttered and helped them with the last of the graves when I was done.

I grabbed the salt and gasoline cans and poured it over the corpses while fake Dean tried to light them after that.

"How come Dean can always light the stupid thing on the first freaking try? Come on!" he muttered.

I smirked slightly before I said:

"It's not always on the first try. It's sometimes on the tenth."

My fake brothers and I stared at me again stunned, before fake Dean lit the graves and watched them burn, the flames slicking the bones.

I didn't know what happened with the ghosts after that, to be honest.

I pretty much hadn't wanted to know much about the humans after Dad had left. Perhaps I should've thought about it more.

* * *

Dean and I went out from the hotel with fake us and fake Sam behind us. The police were talking to some people about the murder by the ghost kids. Me on the other hand, I felt quite awake.

It was actually quite fun with seeing our life through their view, even though they believed we weren't real. At least after thinking about it more.

"You know I gotta hand it to you guys. You really saved our asses back there. So ah, you know, thanks", Dean told them while I agreed.

"We don't even know your names, I realized", I said and looked at them with a small smile.

"Oh. Well, I'm Barnes. This is Demean. And this is my brother Philip. What's yours?" Barnes asked us.

I smiled before I answered.

"I'm Abigail, and this is Dean", I said and pointed at him.

They stared at us for a moment before they began to laugh. I actually laughed with them. Dunno why, though.

"Ahhh, yeah right. Me too!" Demean said.

"Get the hell out of here, Dean and Abigail!"

I smiled again and patted their shoulders in a goodbye.

"Thanks, again, guys", I said before we turned to leave.

"You're wrong you know", Demean stated.

We both turned back to look at them confused. What did he mean?

"Sorry?" Dean said.

"About Supernatural. No offense but I'm not sure you get what the stories are about", he stated.

Dean smirked.

"Is that so?"

"All right. In real life, he sells stereo equipment. Philip and I fix copiers. Our lives suck. But to be Sam, Dean and Abigail, to wake up every morning and save the world. To have a brother and a sister who would die for you. Well, who wouldn't want that?"

I nodded, feeling sad and happy about it. He was right of course, I knew that Sam, Dean and I would die for each other, but it also made me think about my other brothers, where one of them would kill the other.

"I guess you're right. You don't make a bad team, ya know", I told.

"How do you know each other anyway?" Dean wondered.

"Oh. Well, we met online. Supernatural chat room", Barnes told us.

"Oh. Well it must be nice to get out of your parent's basement. Make some friends", Dean stated.

"We're more than friends. We're partners", Demean told and took Barnes hand.

Dean looked slightly stunned, especially since the fact that they were dressed as him and Sam, which I found cute. At least, we had made two people meet and fall in love because of our messed up life.

"That's great", I beamed.

Just before Dean and I would go to the Impala, I hurried to Philip, putting a hand on his shoulder gently.

"You know, I don't want to spoil the books, but don't worry about Abigail. She'll be fine", I said and smirked before taking off after Dean.

* * *

"I think he's right, you know. Maybe having this life is easier with people knowing and still not knowing about it", I said while leaning against the Impala.

"They believe that we can do the right thing, even though how messed up we are, ya know?"

Dean didn't answer, but nodded.

"You okay?" Sam asked us as he arrived too.

"Yeah, you know? I think I'm good", Dean replied and smiled slightly.

"Well, you're not going to believe it, but I got a lead on the Colt", Sam stated, making me raise my eyebrow.

"What?" I said

"Long story, I'll tell you on the way?"

"What are we waiting for?" Dean said before we got in and left the place, with new info about how to ice Lucifer.

I had no idea how to feel.


	22. Fallen

We sat in the car and waited for Cas to inform us about what happened. So far, Crowley was spotted.

"Got him", Cas informed.

"The demon Crowley is making a deal; even as we speak, it's—going—down."

I raised my eyebrow, even though I knew how a deal worked, it sounded weird when Cas said it like that.

"Okay, good. Just don't lose him, Cas", I replied.

"I won't lose him."

He hung up, before he, seconds later called again.

"Do you know where he is?" I asked.

"I followed him. It's not far, but—it's layered in Enochian warding magic. I can't get in", he informed.

I nodded.

"It's okay. You did great. We'll take care of it from here."

He told us where Crowley was, some mansion with a lot of posh.

I was supposed to pose as a young lost woman who had no idea how to fix my broken car. And since we aware everyone in Hell or Heaven knew my face, we decided that I would need an illusion over me.

So, the smartest was to cast a spell who made me seem like another person who looked not all at like me.

Which we did. I wore a short black sequin dress, heels, more makeup than I usually had, and had put up my hair in a loose bun with my fake blonde hair strands hanging.

I pressed the button to the intercom that sat in the gate while I waited.

"Hello?"

"Hello. My car broke down. I— I need some help", I yelped and sounded distressed.

"I'll be down in a minute", the guy (demon, probably) said.

When the gate opened, I took some steps forward while playing cold and all that. To my surprise, it was quite funny.

Two men approached me, looking to be around thirty years or something.

"Evening, pretty lady. Get yourself on in here", the demon welcomed me.

I sighed in my head. Now as my memories were back along with the majority of my Sight (I still couldn't see angels' full true form), I was able see the true form of the demons, along with the vessels' faces of course. I could choose to only see the vessels' and the real and so on.

And that demon, nasty.

"I just need to make a call", I told them and smiled.

"You don't need to call anyone, baby. We're the only help you're ever gonna need", he said and smiled like a perv.

Dicks. It was enough that they were demons, I thought annoyed.

"Um… You know what? I think I'll wait in the car", I suggested and turned to 'leave', as the man grabbed my shoulder.

"We said, get your ass in here", he growled and turned his eyes black.

I grinned and ripped myself loose from his grip and kicked him down on the ground. The other one had a knife in the neck (all Sam), before he tossed it to me, who stabbed the other one in the chest.

"Don't underestimate girls, douchebag", I muttered while my glamour slipped away.

"Nice one, Abster", Dean said.

I shrugged before we began to break inside his house. I had to say, Crowley had some taste.

I drew a devil's trap under the rug and quickly shoved it back on the floor before I was handed a shotgun by Sam, who had switched off the electricity.

"It's Crowley, right?" Sam stated as a man in his middle forties approached.

And again, his face was nasty. His true face at least.

"So. The Three Musketeers finally found me. Took you long enough", Crowley said.

He took steps closer, before he stopped and looked down at the rug before he pulled it up and noticed the trap.

Crap.

"Do you have any idea how much this rug cost?" he complained, making me roll my eyes.

Suddenly, three demons disarmed us and pinned our arms behind our backs.

"This is it, right? This is what it's all about", Crowley said while holding up the Colt.

He aimed at me, before he for some reason shot the demons instead, making me wonder why the hell he just killed his own servants.

"We need to talk. Privately", he told us while he led us to another room.

"What the hell is this?" Dean demanded.

"Do you know how deep I could have buried this thing? There's no reason you or anyone should know this even exists, except that I told you", Crowley told us, making me raise my eyebrows.

The Supernatural books, helloo?

"You told us", I echoed skeptically.

"Rumors, innuendo, sent out on the grapevine."

"Why? Why tell us about that thing?" I questioned and pointed at the gun.

"I want you to take this thing to Lucifer and empty it into his face."

I tilted my head confused, since when did a demon want to kill his boss? The majority of Hell's citizens adored my brother since he had created them.

" Uh-huh, okay, and why exactly would you want the Devil dead?" Dean asked with doubt spiking his voice.

"It's called survival", Crowley started and put the gun on the desk.

"Well, I forgot you two at best are functioning morons, I had hoped better from the angel girl here—"

News traveled fast around here.

"You're functioning…morons…" Dean muttered silently.

"Lucifer isn't a demon, remember? He's an angel. An angel famous for his hatred of humankind. To him, you're just filthy bags of pus. If that's the way he feels about you, what can he think about us?"

I shrugged and agreed with him.

"He's got a point", I stated.

"But he created you", Sam protested.

"To him, we're just servants. Cannon fodder. If Lucifer manages to exterminate humankind, we're next. So, help me, huh? Let's all go back to simpler, better times, back to when we could all follow our natures. I'm in sales, dammit! So what do you say if I give you this thing, and you go kill the Devil?"

He handed us the gun, handle first. I glanced at my brothers hesitatingly before I took the gun and stared at it.

"Awesome."

"Great."

"You wouldn't happen to know where the Devil is, by chance, would you?" Sam asked him.

"Thursday, birdies tell me, there's an appointment in Carthage, Missouri", he replied.

I nodded, before I put the barrel between his eyes and pulled the trigger. There was a small click, and then, nothing.

"Come on", I mumbled annoyed.

"Oh, yeah, right, you'll probably need some more ammunition", Crowley suggested and turned to get us the bullets.

Dick.

"Oh, uh, excuse me for asking, but aren't you kind of signing your own death warrant? I mean, what happens to you if we go up against the Devil and lose?" Dean asked him while Crowley searched for them.

"Number one, he's going to wipe us all out anyway. Two, after you leave here, I go on an extended vacation to all points nowhere. And three, how about you don't miss, okay! Morons!" he shouted before he tossed me the bullets and disappeared right after.

Again, dick.

"You can't be serious, Ellen", I said, smiling as she drained the last shot.

"Just watch him", she said and smirked.

We were at Bobby's, drinking and just having fun before we'd all go down.

"All right, big boy. Go."

And for some reason, Cas did it. Drained the five glasses in less than twenty seconds.

Oh right, forgot. Angels could hold their liquor. Another reason why it would be nice to have my Grace back completely.

"I think I'm starting to feel something", Cas said with a innocent look on his face, making me grin.

"You've done good, Cas. My turn. Jo vs Abigail", I said and changed seat with Cas.

"Ten glasses. The first who's done wins", Ellen told as she poured us shots, ten each.

"Ready, set, go!"

My hand immediately flew to the first glass before I put the glass to my lips and drained it. Fourth, started to feel slightly wobbly. Fifth, a bit more. Seventh, more wobbly. Eighth, I would need some water. And tenth, oh dear goodness.

"Yas!" I said and slammed my hands together while my brain seemed to dance salsa in my head.

"Abigail, Jo finished before you", Cas chimed in.

"Did she? Oh my, remind me not to drink tequila for at least a month", I slurred out before I was handed a big glass of water, which I gulped down in a few seconds.

"Okay, hand me a beer now."

Jo stared at me before she started to laugh and threw me a bottle before she went to the refrigerator.

"How's it doing, Abster? Still on your feet?" Sam asked and laughed.

"Everything's so awesome", I called with thumbs up.

And miraculously, my head cleared slightly so I at least wasn't too crazy. I could at least walk.

"Everybody get in here! It's time for the lineup. Usual suspects in the corner", Bobby informed us.

"Oh come on, Bobby. Nobody wants their picture taken", Ellen groaned, which Sam agreed on.

"Shut up. You're drinking my beer. Anyway, I'm gonna need something to remember your sorry asses by. Everyone is in the room now, getting in position for the picture, smiling", Bobby said, me positioning myself between Cas and Ellen.

"Good to hear, sunshine", I smirked.

"Bobby's right. Tomorrow we hunt the Devil. This is our last night on earth", Cas stated, making all of our smiles fade slightly.

And he was right. Probably.

The town was really creepy and not just because of no humans were there, but it was also filled with reapers, dozen of them. And they seemed to wait for something…

"Place seem a little empty to you?" Ellen asked Dean.

"We're gonna go check out the PD. You guys stay here, see if you can find anybody", Dean informed.

"Okay."

While Sam and Dean drove off, Ellen parked the car and waited for us to come out.

"Ever heard of a door handle?" Jo asked Cas, who sat in the car for the moment, when he then zapped out.

"Of course I have", Cas replied, making me grin.

The grin quickly vanished as my eyes focused on the reapers.

"Do you see them?" I asked him.

"Yes, I do. This town's not empty", Cas informed Jo and Ellen.

"Reapers."

"Reapers? As in more than one?" Ellen questioned.

"They gather when there's coming a great catastrophe. Pompeii, Katrina, you name it", I said before I wandered off to find out more.

Every Reaper ignored both me and Cas as we tried to find the reason why they had gathered for a tea party.

"Cas, look", I said and nodded to the Reaper inside a big building.

"Take my hand", he told, which I did.

His wings flapped a bit before we ended up inside the building where the Reaper had been.

"Do you hear that?" I mumbled and followed the strange sound, which led me and him to a dark room.

Something was wrong, I could feel it. And then, out of nowhere—

"Hello, sister", a man's voice said before I only saw white light.

With that feat, we both ended up in a ring of holy fire. I stared at the dancing flames and immediately realized that I would die if I touched them. If I could get affected by the Angel Banishing sigil, this would fry my nonexistent wings.

"Jophiel. Good to see you again", the same voice greeted me, making me turn to face a man in his forties.

"Lucifer", I said in a quiet voice.

Happiness, sadness and the 'we're screwed' welled up in my chest. Lucifer, my brother, he stood in front of me.

So many years… I had missed him so freaking much.

"I see that you've become a human, now. How is it like? Being weak? Or is a lot of the real you still there?" he wondered.

I felt my jaw tense insulted before I replied.

"Being human is quite different, but you'll get used to it after twenty-six years. Especially with no memory of my life as an angel, and with French fries", I replied.

"So I take it you're here with the Winchesters", he said.

"We came alone", Cas lied.

"Loyalty. Such a nice quality to see in this day and age. Castiel, right? Castiel. I'm told you came here in an automobile", Lucifer stated.

"Yes."

"What was that like?"

"Um. Slow. Confining", Cas admitted, making me nod in agreement.

"What a peculiar thing you are", he told.

It was then I noticed the small burns in his vessel's face.

Seems like Lucie is hollowing that poor man from inside out, I thought.

"What's wrong with your vessel?" Cas wondered.

"Yes. Um, Nick is wearing a bit thin, I'm afraid. He can't contain me forever, so—"

"You— You are not taking Sam Winchester. I won't let you", Cas growled and almost took a step into the fire before I pulled him back.

"Castiel. I don't understand why you're fighting me, of all the angels", Lucifer remarked.

"Really, Lucifer? Did you really have to ask that?" I muttered.

"I rebelled, I was cast out. You rebelled, you were cast out. Almost all of Heaven wants to see me dead, and if they succeed, guess what? You're their new public enemy number one. We're on the same side, like it or not, so why not just serve your own best interests? Which in this case just happen to be mine?

Same for you, Jophiel. You have fallen. The second you stop being useful for our brother, he'll punish you for ever leaving them. I would never do that to you", Lucifer said gently, making me look away from his eyes.

Even if he was right, the Earth would be filled with Croats if I ever chose Lucifer. And if I chose Michael, half of the Earth would be floating around in space, in pieces.

"I won't", I said and shook my head, staring at Lucifer stubbornly, yet sadly.

He was my brother. He still was my brother who had encouraged me to create the stars.

"I will not, either. I'll die first", Cas said.

"I suppose you will", Lucifer stated.

We were silent, all of us, just staring at the flames around us. What the hell could we do now? Were the others alright?

"What's your purpose here?" I questioned.

Lucifer looked up from staring at the wall and smiled.

"Don't you know what happened here? Oh, humans really have affected you, sister", he said amused.

"In this town, a very large battle happened here, a lot of casualties. And I will need that place to summon an old friend of ours. You may remember him, Jophiel. Dad's old friend. Very old friend."

I widened my eyes, Death? The Horseman? I kind of knew Death, and I really didn't want him to be in the game. But, since it was said in the Book of Revelation that he and the other chumps would be in this endgame, he probably would pop up. If my brothers didn't stop my brother, at least.

"Death? You are going to summon Death?" Cas asked.

"Of course, he'll be useful in this. Giving me a bigger chance to win."

"Why are you even doing this, Lucifer? To getting revenge on Dad?" I asked slightly frustrated.

Lucifer's eyes narrowed slightly.

"He betrayed me! Cast me down for something I was right about! And then, He left us! He left you! Because of foolish Gadreel and His precious humans! You have lived with those apes for years now. Can't you see how flawed they are?" he exclaimed.

I swallowed while looking Cas before I turned back to look at my brother again.

"Perhaps they're flawed, but they are a lot better than us, brother. If I had done all the mistakes as an angel instead of a human, I'd have fallen long before all this. Because our kind can't forgive, even for the smallest of things", I mumbled.

Lucifer was going to say something, I guessed, but suddenly, Meg arrived with a smug smile on her face.

"Abster. Good to see you again", she said.

"You really missed something fun. Seeing that blonde lovely girl— Jo, right?— being clawed to shreds by one of my hellhounds, quite the show", she laughed.

No! Jo! Fury clouded my eyes and the only I could see and think about was Meg being dead. With no thought but wanting to kill her, I lunged toward her, before I was stopped by both Cas and by my brother's powers.

"Abigail, there's nothing you can do", Cas whispered to me in his arms while I felt tears burn in my eyes.

If Jo was dead… No, she couldn't be. Meg probably lied…

"I got the Winchesters pinned down. For now, at least. What should I do with them?" she asked my brother.

"Leave them alone", Lucifer ordered after have considered it for a second.

"I—I'm sorry, but are you sure? Shouldn't we—"

"Trust me, child. Everything happens for a reason", Lucifer said softly and stroke her face in his cupped hands, making me wanna puke and growl on the same time.

She didn't deserve affection after what she did, even if it was fake.

And for the second, he called her child. Did that make me her aunt?

"Can you stop with your father-daughter bonding? It's enough that I'm trapped in this ring, seeing this and unable to escape is even more disturbing", I snapped.

"Maybe you don't like it because you never had a father who never was there for you? And you had two", Meg taunted.

I started to breathe more heavier, feeling angrier and really wanted to rip that demon to shreds. I smote Ruby once, maybe I could smite Megster….

"Now, now, now isn't the time for insulting", Lucifer said.

"Why won't we let them be alone for a while?"

Meg nodded and cast me a smug look before she left the room with Lucifer in front of her.

I sank down on the floor and let my heart cry on the inside. Even though I had known about Lucifer being released and all that, I couldn't help but feel heartbroken, seeing Lucifer acting so… different. But of course, spending a pair of millennia in the Cage, and since one year was over 100 years in the Cage…

"Are you feeling well, Abigail?" Cas wondered and sounded worried.

I shook my head and let a tear roll down my cheek.

"Imagine someone you love very dearly, do a mistake and turn into something you don't recognize", I whispered and touched my now open necklace while talking.

Cas kneeled down and slowly wrapped his arms around my body.

I inhaled the scent of him, cinnamon and other spices I couldn't name in English.

"I'm not so good at interpret human emotions, but I understand you. I lost my brother Uriel", he said softly.

"Yeah, I know, and that happened because of my brother. What if I could have persuaded him to not do it? To not rebel. What would have happened with the world then? No evil? At least no evil that can harm Earth", I mumbled and thought about the Mark on the poor boy Cain.

He had bore it for thousands of years, and he was still fighting against it, if I knew right.

Cas put his lips on my hair and let them linger there while stroking my back.

"You can't blame yourself for what your brother did", he replied with a voice as smooth as silk.

"I know, but it just feels like I could've done anything. All my years as an angel after he got cast down, I hadn't thought about it like this before. Probably because I didn't feel the same way about things, like now", I mumbled.

Cas caressed my cheek with his thumb before he lifted up my head gently and kissed my lips softly.

And suddenly, a very familiar word but much more kinder flowed into my mind, the word Uriel had tried to use on me.

Sleep.

But, this time, I let myself fall into the welcoming darkness of sleep.

Third person's POV

Castiel carefully positioned Abigail so she was leaning against his chest, while his arms were around her.

Sometimes, he wished he also could sleep like she could. But watching her sleep in his arms so peacefully without any worries was something he could do all the time.

He hadn't really told her the truth, he didn't exactly know how it was like to see your brother change drastically. He himself hadn't been so close Uriel as she had been to Lucifer. Even if he had called Uriel brother, he hadn't been the kind of brother Lucifer had been for her.

Castiel remembered seeing Abigail and her older brothers when he had been young. He had witnessed them in Heaven creating some of the animals. But he still couldn't understand why Gabriel had chosen to create such a strange yet fascinating creature, the platypus.

They had been so much different compared to now.

Abigail began to shiver in her sleep. Hadn't he seen humans shiver when they were freezing? But it wasn't cold, but still, Castiel took off his trench coat without a second thought before he slowly put it over her body. He hoped that she wouldn't freeze as much as she had done.

Even when she had stopped shivering, he could still see her not feeling well.

The word 'pain' had been written on her face when she had seen Lucifer, it had been so clear even he had noticed.

But what he didn't notice was Lucifer himself was watching his younger sister and brother in the shadows, not making a sound as the young angel wrapped his ebony black wings around them like a protective shield.

He didn't like the angel and his sister having a relationship. Especially not when she was weak with the many emotions she had received when becoming human. He couldn't understand why she liked those apes and had become one. Her heart could then so easily be shattered.

And that was something he didn't want. Even if she had chosen to fight on their Father's side those years ago, he didn't want to hurt her, not really. Not if it wasn't necessary.

Lucifer knew and hoped she wouldn't side with Heaven. He knew that Michael would punish her for ever leaving if they won. And he wouldn't let that happen. Because she was his sister and he loved her.

Always.

Normal POV

"Children, the new specie has fully evolved, creatures superior over everyone else, Humanity or Humans as I call them", Father informed and showed us the Garden with many fruit bearing trees and animals.

But near the Tree of Life sat the two beings we had watched for so long evolve. They were looking like apes without hair and had finer features than the monkeys. Both the male and female were naked but didn't seem to care about it.

They were so beautiful, just like I had imagined them when seeing their ancestors for the first time. I really felt joyful when I had been ordered to guard the Tree of Life, it meant that I would get to interact with them.

"Their names I have given them are Adam, the man, and Lilith, the woman. I want you, Gabriel, to give a message to all the angels to bow down before them, to love them more than me", he told us and watched the two humans with genuine love.

He really did love his two latest creations, I thought.

Gabriel nodded and flew away to inform the rest. Lucifer stared at the pair with disdain and disgust before he shook his head and looked at Father.

"Father…. I can't. These human beings are flawed, murderous. I cannot love them more than I love you. Please, do not ask me to do this", Lucifer begged.

I looked at him in shock, he never said 'no' to an order. Never. None of us had ever done that.

Father ignored Lucifer and left to go back to the throne room. And left were Lucifer, Michael and me. Lucifer still glared the the humans while Michael went back home.

What had happened with my brother? He never ever disobeyed, he'd rather die.

"Brother, what is wrong?" I asked him gently and touched his wingtip with mine softly.

"What is wrong? Father asks us to love these… apes more than him. How can he believe I can do that? Can't you see how weak these things are?" Lucifer questioned.

"I do see that the humans are fragile, but they have their own beauty and Father has now asked us to love them, and so we do", I responded softly.

Lucifer looked at me hurt before everything started to fade…

"Lucifer", I whispered when I opened my eyes.

It had been a dream, a memory from a long time ago. We were still in the ring of holy fire, not in Heaven. And my body was leaning against Cas' body with his arms around me and his trench coat over me.

Such a sweetheart he was, I thought touched.

"Thanks, Cas", I mumbled and handed him his trench coat before I rose.

I looked around to find Lucifer, but he was gone. Just, poof. But I saw someone else instead. Megster.

"Where's Lucifer?" I questioned stiffly.

"He's off to summon Death", she said and sounded quite smug.

I stared at her for half a minute before I noticed a bolt spin on the pipe. I raised my eyebrow but kept my eyes on Meg. Clearly, Cas was planning something, and from what I saw, it seemed to be a good plan.

Meg grinned broader and really looked happy, genuinely happy. To be honest, I had never seen her so happy. Not even when she had made out with Sam, or possessing him for that part.

"You seem pleased", Cas observed.

"We're gonna win. Can you feel it? You cloud-hopping pansies lost the whole damn universe. Lucifer's gonna take over Heaven. We're going to Heaven, Clarence", she said and let out a laugh of joy.

"Funny for you", I muttered.

"But the weird thing is that I have heard something else from another person. Name's Crowley. You may know him. British accent, good taste on liquor and rugs. Did I forget to mention that he's the King of Crossroads too?" I wondered.

"You don't know Crowley", Meg stated and sounded like she really meant it.

"Oh no, I don't, but I know my brother. Think about it, Megster. He hates humanity. You, demons, are worse than humans, according to him. But you're loyal as hell. So, why not use you for his own goals?"

"You're wrong. Lucifer is the father of our race. Our creator. Your god may be a deadbeat. Mine—mine walks the earth", she defended.

"Good for you", I said before the pipe flew into Meg and pushed her through the ring, into Cas' arms.

He tried to smite her, with no luck. And I was quite sure that my juice only worked like on very rare cases, like the Ruby thing.

Meg started to laugh at his mistake.

"You can't gank demons, can you? You're cut off from the home office and you ain't got the juice. So what can you do, you impotent sap?" she scoffed.

"I can do this", Cas stated and leaned in to kiss her.

A huge wave of jealously roared in me, what the hell was he thinking? The second I got my hands on the knife or my smiting powers would come back, I would kill the bitch.

But suddenly, he threw her into the flames and gestured to me to go through. And with that, I felt like the biggest sap of all times. Of course he wouldn't have kissed her, had I become an idiot?

I grabbed his hand and watched his wings make a quick motion before we ended up on a field with dead people and my brothers, Lucifer, Sam and Dean.

"Come on", I mouthed to them before we flew away.

"Just received an update that the governor has declared a state of emergency for Paulding County, including the towns of Marion, Fetterville, and Carthage. The storm system has reportedly touched off a number of tornadoes in the area", the woman on the news reported, but I didn't listen, not really.

Jo and Ellen were dead, for nothing. The Colt didn't kill Lucifer. Apparently, we and five other things in the Creation were immune to that thing.

I stared blankly at the copy of the photo we had taken the night before all this, while my tears trickled down and fell on the floor.

We had lost so much, in only five years. Everyone we knew got hurt or killed, once or twice.

"Death tolls have yet to be estimated, but state officials expect the loss of life and property to be staggering."

With a last look on the picture, Bobby leaned forward an dropped the photo in the flames and we watched it being consumed by the flames, until there was nothing left.

Just, nothing.


	23. Dear brother

It took a few weeks to come over Jo and Ellen's deaths. If we ever would really do it. But we continued with the usual hunting monsters and shit.

An old hunter friend of ours asked us to come and help him with a monster on a mental hospital. So it would be less suspicious to show up, Sam and Dean were posing as mentally ill patients who were sent by Dr. Babar while I was signing up as a nurse. And that went awfully quick. Just a few papers and done.

It turned out to be a Wraith, which sucked the brains dry of her victims.

And the same Wraith had come in, only to seen Dean take off his pants and shake his junk while Sam and I were in the same room. I felt quite scarred after that.

And I was quite sure I wouldn't get a paycheck either.

Another case was a ghost. But the weird thing was that Sam was acting weird, like too weird. He chose cheeseburger instead of salad and didn't know how to shoot.

We late found out that it was some teenager who was using magic he shouldn't use. His friend paid for that, getting killed by a demon who was working for my brother.

* * *

"Anna visited your dreams?" I asked surprised.

Dean nodded slowly. Shit, I hadn't seen her in months and a lot of years since I had been an angel.

"Okay, just, tell me everything. Details, the whole everything."

Dean shifted on himself uncomfortably before he started to talk.

"Well, first, my dream was pretty normal. Chicks dressed as angels and devils, dancing—"

"Okay! Skip to the Anna part!" I quickly said before I gagged on the inside.

First Sam telling me about his demon sex, and now Dean talking about demon/angel strippers.

"Fine. Uh, well, Anna told me she had escaped some prison Upstairs. She said Cas had turned her in", he told.

"… Abster, something wrong?" Sam asked worriedly as I started to pale.

No, not the Dungeons. Oh my god, poor Anna… Oh, Cas, how could you? And how did she escape? That was like, impossible.

"It's just, I know a thing or two about the Dungeons, seen their inhabitants getting tortured", I said slowly and thought about Gadreel and Abner.

"Anyway… What did she tell you?"

"She wants us to meet her at 225 Industrial, as fast as we can", Dean told.

I nodded slowly, it didn't feel good. Heaven's Dungeon, there was very few ways escaping that thing. Perhaps they let her out in exchange for her allegiance or something. I really didn't want to think like that, but it was the only option.

"Right, I'll call Cas and he'll zap us there", I told them and started to call Cas.

"Cas, we're at Motel Moosely near Lincoln city", I told him before he even had time to talk.

"I'm here", he told as his wings faded.

Usually when I saw him, I would hug him or kiss him. But not now. Not since I knew about Anna.

"Cas, what the hell? You turned in Anna? To the Dungeons?" I said horrified.

He looked down in shame before he looked up again.

"I made a mistake", he told carefully.

"You know how it is there, Cas. You've been there yourself", I whispered.

"Wait, so when Cas had been gone, he'd been there?" Sam wondered.

I nodded.

"I saw it in a dream."

"Now, we've talked enough of prisons, I think. Just zap us to the warehouse", Dean told Cas.

"No, I won't. Anna may be working for Heaven now, we can't just let you come then. I will go", Cas confirmed.

"I'll go with you", I quickly said.

"No, Abigail, you're still the Weapon, with or without memories", Cas protested.

"Cas… I know her. Please", I pleaded as I touched his hand gently.

He looked at me with his deep blue eyes before he nodded slowly.

"Fine. Take my hand", he ordered, which I did.

I first saw nothing but his wings, until we were standing in the warehouse. Behind Anna.

"Hello, Anna", Cas greeted her.

"I'd say the Winchesters don't trust me", Anna said before she slowly turned, to see me.

I remembered her as a fledgling, trying to fly for the first time. Anna, being on her first mission. So much had happened.

"Hi, Anna", I said.

"Abigail. But why… Oh my god", she whispered as I removed whatever had hid my half angelic presence, something in that way.

"Jophiel?"

I smiled sadly.

"Good to see you again, Anael."

"But… how?"

"It's a long story and we're not here to talk about the past", I said and ended the subject.

"Why can't you trust me?" Anna wondered and probably referred the question to Cas.

" If you're out of prison, it's because they let you out. And they sent you here to do their dirty work", Cas stated.

"And what makes you so sure?"

"Because I've experienced… Heaven's persuasion", he said after a second.

"You mean when you gave me to them", she accused.

And I could totally understand her for that. They had been working together for ages. Then Cas had betrayed her… I could put myself in her position even though that never happened.

"That was a mistake."

"Whatever they sent you to do, Anna—" I started.

"They didn't send me. I escaped", she protested.

"No one escapes", Cas stated.

"All these centuries, and you're underestimating me now?"

"What do you want, Anna? If you're not working for them, then what do you want to do in this crap?" I questioned.

"I want to help", she stated, making me raise my eyebrows.

Why would she want to help us? She was probably pissed at Cas for that, and well…

"You want to help?" Cas asked skeptically.

"Yes."

"Then what are doing with that knife?" he questioned.

Oh, the not perks with not being full on angel. Not noticing and seeing hidden stuff.

Anna slowly unsheathed a big knife and looked at us.

"I'm not allowed to defend myself?"

"Against whom? That blade doesn't work against angels. It's not like this one", Cas told before I glanced down at the angel blade he was holding in his hand.

I actually had an angel blade myself from the angel Cas had killed a few months ago, but I preferred my own blade, which was somewhere on Earth, after I had for some reason thrown it away randomly from Heaven down to Earth. What the heck had been wrong with me?

"There's something you're not telling us. Something you don't want us to know. I may not have my Grace completely, but I'm not an idiot", I said.

Anna looked at me sadly before she looked at Cas.

"Sam Winchester has to die. I'm sorry but we have no choice. He's Lucifer's vessel", Anna said.

I widened my eyes and felt something in my chest pull itself inside itself. She wouldn't kill Sam, not on my watch. I wouldn't let that happen. If it came down to Sam and Anna, I would choose Sam.

"Don't you dare touch my brother", I threatened, but felt bad for even having to threat her at all.

"I'm sorry", she said sadly before she looked back at Cas.

"He's not the only one", Cas protested.

"What, that guy Nick? He's burning away as we speak. No. Sam is the only vessel that matters. You know what that means? If Lucifer can't take Sam, his whole plan short-circuits. No fight with Michael, no Croatoan virus. The Horsemen go back to their day jobs."

"Even if you managed to kill Sam, Lucifer will just bring him back, over and over again", I told her, and meant it.

"Not after I scatter his cells across the universe. They'll never find him. Not all of him", Anna said, making me close my eyes for a moment.

"We'll find another way", Cas said.

"How's that going? How's the Colt working out? Or the search for God? Is anything working? If you want to stop the Devil, this is how."

"The answer's still no. Because Sam is my friend", Cas said.

For about a year ago, Cas wouldn't have hesitated in killing Sam. But now, times were different. People changed. And I was happy for that change.

"You've changed", Anna remarked.

"Maybe too late, but I have. Anna, we've been through much together, but you come near Sam Winchester and I'll kill you", Cas told her, before she disappeared.

* * *

With the help of Cas, we found out that Anna had traveled back in time to kill our parents to prevent us to get born. And Sam and Dean would then cease to exist. So we had no choice. We had to kill Anna.

"Shit!" I exclaimed and quickly ran over the street, onto the pavement until the drivers stopped complaining at us.

When was the last time I had been time traveling? Forty? Fifty years ago?

"Did we make it?" Sam asked me.

"Yep."

"Is it some new angel power you have? Dean asked.

I shook my head and grinned.

" Nope, it's more because of that little beauty", I told and pointed at a sign where it said the year, 1978.

I suddenly spotted Cas, who was bleeding through his nose and looking quite beaten up.

The traveling must have taken hard on him, I thought as I rushed to his side.

"Are you okay?" I asked him worriedly and gestured to Sam and Dean to help me raise him.

"I'm fine. I'm much better than I expected", Cas mumbled before he coughed blood and passed out.

Oh, shit. I put my hand on his chest and concentrated, trying to find a sign of Grace or just his being. Which I found. But the Grace, it was flickering sometimes. Not much, but, noticeable.

"He'll be fine. He just needs to rest, for a couple of days", I told to my brothers.

"But I think checking him in somewhere would be a good thing to start with."

* * *

"This is just weird, kind of", I said and went out from the car we stole, and looked at our car in the past, the Impala.

She looked so… Baby.

"Sam. Sam. Wait, wait, wait, wait", Dean said and stopped Sam from taking another step to our parents' door.

"Dean, Anna could be here any second", Sam protested.

"So, what? What are you going to tell them? That we're their kids and are trying to save them from an angel who has gone rogue. Yeah, will work", I stated sarcastically.

"Well, then tell her demons are after 'em. I mean, she thinks Dean's a hunter, right?" Sam added.

"Yeah, a hunter who disappeared right when her dad died. She's gonna love me", Dean muttered.

"Just follow my lead."

We did as we were told and stood beside Dean while he pressed the doorbell.

The door opened, and out came… Mom. But younger than she was in the picture. And she first looked 'normal', which changed when she saw Dean. Then her face went from calm to stunned and extremely shocked. But, could I blame her? No.

"Hi, Mary", Dean greeted.

"You can't be here", she told.

"I'm sorry if this is a bad time", Dean started.

"You don't understand. I'm not— I don't do that anymore. I have a normal life now. You have to go."

Mom was about to close the door. But all of sudden, I got desperate and ignored what Dean had said about him doing the talking.

"Please, Mo— Mary. It's important", I said.

Dad then popped to Mom's side and opened the door wider. And gosh, he looked really different if I compared him from when he died and him then. If someone would smash up Mom and Dad as young and mix little more Mom, there you got me.

"Sorry, sweetie, they're just…"

"Mary's cousins", I said and smiled.

"Yeah, we couldn't stop through town without swinging by and saying 'hey', now, could we?" Dean added and smiled.

This, was just, weird.

"Dean", Dean introduced himself for Dad and extended his hand, which Dad took and shook.

"You look familiar", Dad told and smiled slightly confused.

"Really? Yeah, you do, too, actually, you know? We must have met sometime. Small towns, right? Got to love 'em", Dean replied.

"I'm John", Dad greeted me.

I took his hand and put on a small smile.

"Abigail."

"John."

"This is Sam", Dean told after Sam had stared at our folks for a second before he grasped his hand and shook it too.

"Sam. Uh, Mary's father was a Sam."

"Uh, it's a— it's a family name", Dean lied while Sam looked like he had seen a ghost (not literally, we saw them a lot.)

"You okay, pal? You look a little spooked", Dad noticed and sounded slightly concerned.

"Oh. Oh, yeah. Just a...long trip", Sam mumbled and dropped Dad's hand.

He wasn't lying about that, not technically at least.

"Well, Sam, Abigail and Dean were just on their way out", Mom told Dad and smiled with 'fake' written all over it.

"What? They just got here. Real happy to meet folks from Mary's side. Please come on in for a beer", Dad insisted, making Dean smirk.

"Twist my arm."

"I really like the car you've got. An Impala, right?" I said and took a sip from the beer Dad had given me.

"Uh, yeah. Bought it a couple years back. Didn't know you liked cars, Abigail", Dad said.

I shrugged.

"Nah, not really. It's just that the car seems a bit.. special."

"Are you sure you're okay, Sam?" Dad asked Sam, who was staring at Mom, who looked extremely uncomfortable.

When I thought about it, I was pretty sure I had seen Mom and Dad before my birth, since Michael (Raphael and I too, but mostly Michael) had been so obsessed in getting those two together. Bloodlines and all that.

"W—oh. Yeah, yeah. Um, I'm just, um—You are so beautiful", Sam stuttered, making Dad look at him weirdly.

Oh, Sam, perfect timing, I thought.

"What my brother means is that she looks beautiful, in the family kind of way. Not the other way", I said and smiled and stomping on Sam's foot slightly.

"Yeah, right", Sam agreed.

"We haven't seen Mary in—in quite some time, and—See, she's the spitting image of our mom. I mean, it's—it's—" Dean said.

"Eerie", I added.

Nailed it.

"So, how are you guys related?" Dad asked while Mom looked like she wanted to kill us with a kitchen knife.

"Oh, you know. Cousins, very much removed", I lied.

"Oh. So you knew Mary's parents?"

"Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Mary's dad was, uh, pretty much like a grandpa to us", Dean said.

Wow, we were really good at lying and telling the truth.

"Oh. That was tragic—that heart attack", Dad said and took Mom's hand.

She smiled gently at him before she cast a glare sideway at Dean. Right, the Azazel part.

"Yes, it was", Dean said.

Three Winchesters in the family to make a deal with Azazel to bring/bring kind of back a family member. And three of us then going to Hell.

"So, uh, what are you guys doing in town, anyway?" Dad asked after a second of awkward silence.

"Oh, you know. Just some business", I said and took a new swig.

"Oh, yeah? What line of work?"

"Plumping."

"Scrap metal."

"A lot."

"Oh, gosh. It's almost seven. I hate to be rude, but I got to get dinner ready", Mom told and rose, and actually did save us there.

"Maybe they could stay", Dad suggested, making me smile on the inside, but still feel sad.

I didn't remember Dad being like this. Maybe he changed a lot after Mom's death, more than I could imagine.

"I'm sure they have to leave", she responded coldly.

And again, someone saved us from replying since the phone rang. Gotta love the Fates, not really.

"Uh, look, please stay. You know, it would mean a lot to me. I haven't met much of Mary's side of the family", Dad told us before he left to answer.

"You have to leave. Now", Mom ordered before we rose.

Wonder it would feel weird for her if we told her the truth? Probably would.

"Okay, just listen—"

"No, you listen. Last time I saw you, a demon killed my parents. Now you waltz in here like you're family? Whatever you want— no. Leave me alone", Mom snapped.

"Please, listen. You are in danger, both of you", I told.

"What are you talking about?" Mom whispered.

"Something's coming for you", Dean filled in.

"A demon?"

I shifted on myself a bit uncomfortable before I answered.

"Sort of. It's kind of complicated. It's an, an, an…"

"An angel", Sam blurted out making me glare at him.

"What? There's no such thing", Mom said and laughed quietly.

Bad move, Sam. Bad move.

"Not really. They exist, they're strong, and some of them are annoying as hell", I explained.

"But not everyone."

Sam and Dean rolled their eyes at my little joke before we went serious again. Maybe a bad time with jokes.

"Why would an angel want to kill us?" Mom asked us skeptically.

"It's complicated. Like really complicated. Please, Mary. Trust us. We have to get John and you out of here, quickly", I said.

"Okay. But what do I tell John?"

"Just tell him— John?" Dean wondered.

And he was gone.

* * *

"I've got two blades here, one is Cas' and the other was Dumah's", I told.

"Sam, draw the sigil while Dean, Mary and I distract her."

And that was kind of the whole plan, to save Dad at least.

When we came in, the first thing we saw was Anna flinging Dad over a car. Mom and I went some feet behind Dean while he tried to stab Anna, which was easier said than done. Instead, Anna grabbed Dean's wrist and neck while he tried to pry her off.

"I wish I could say it's good to see you, Anna", he gasped while she looked at him sadly.

"You too, Dean", she replied before she flung him away.

"Take the blade", I ordered Mom while I stood with mine ready in hand.

"I'm sorry for this, Anael", I said and meant it, before I slashed at her chest.

She parried it with her arm and took a swing at me, which I ducked for. Her pink wings were shown before she was gone.

"Where is she?" Mom said before I could see Anna appeared behind her and grabbed her striking arm.

"I'm sorry", she said and flung her onto the car.

I slowly went behind Anna, getting closer and closer, until I swung the blade. And I should probably have hit her heart, if not for her turning and tossing me into the wall, which hurt a lot.

Stupid non Graceful angel-me, I muttered in my head angrily as I tried to get my hands in the blade, when a a white light appeared and made me fly, again.

"This is not my day", I muttered and grabbed the blade.

"Monsters. Monsters?" Dad said skeptically in the car, while Dean, Sam and I were sitting in the backseat, with me in the middle, as usual.

"Yes", Mom said, and said it probably the fifteenth time now.

"Monsters are real", Dad repeated, again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know how—"

"And you fight them? All of you?" Dad questioned.

"Yeah", I confirmed and nodded, while feeling extremely uncomfortable.

Seriously, it felt weird as hell, talking to Dad about monsters when it had been him who had raised us to hunt them.

"How long?"

"All my life. John, just try to understand—"

"She didn't exactly have a choice—" Dean began.

"Shut up, all of you! Look, not another word, or so help me, I will turn this car around!" Dad snapped, making all of us fall in an even more awkward silence than more.

"Wow. Awkward family road trip", Dean muttered.

I snorted quietly.

"You don't say."

We stopped at some decent-looking house. But when we came in and lit the place, man, that place hadn't been inhabited for years.

"Place has been in the family for years", Mom informed and flipped a rug, revealing a devil's trap.

"Devil's trap. Pure iron fixtures, of course. Um, there should be salt and holy water in the pantry, knives, guns."

"That won't do anything good against an angel, only annoy them, a lot. It's not much that can kill one", I told her and had to tilt my head a bit to meet her eyes.

So I was the shortest in the family, lovely.

"Great", she replied and laughed bitterly.

"She said not much, not nothing. We packed", Dean said and dumped the duffel bag and started to skirmish through it.

"If we put this up and she comes close, we beam her right off the starship", Dean told Mom and showed her the angel sigil.

I picked up the holy oil and showed it for them. Seemed like Dad was the loner here.

"This is holy oil. Traps the angels, lethal for them. Someone who wants to see how it works?" I wondered.

Mom nodded and followed me to another room, while I took off the cork from the jar.

"You okay?" I asked and looked at her thoughtfully.

Mom shrugged slowly.

"I don't know. I'm worried about John, how he's taking all this", she said slowly.

I nodded and started to pour the oil in a circle as I explained.

"Make a circle out from the oil and if an angel steps in the ring, light it so the it burns and bam, you've got an angel's trap. Except the angels dies if it passes through the flames", I said and stepped out from my little oil circle I had made.

"So, you can start make some circles while I will put some sigils on the walls, okay?"

So, that's what I did. I cut my arm and started to smear the blood onto the wall. I really hoped I was the one to activate, the sigils had started to affect me more and more, making me fly farer, which hurt more.

"Okay. You said you'd explain everything when we had a minute. We have a minute. Why does an angel want me dead?" Mom asked me after awhile.

"Well, some of them are douchebags, on high level", I told her and excluded Cas from the douchebags.

Mom laughed slightly.

"Not good enough. I didn't even know they existed, and now I'm a target?"

"It's complicated. Like extremely complicated."

"Fine. All ears", Mom said and rose.

She is really stubborn as young, I thought and thought of my brothers, and a bit like myself.

"Mary, trust us. Trust me", I begged her.

"I've been trusting you all day", Mom protested.

"If you think that angels are real is hard to believe, this will be even more harder to believe", I told her.

"All right, then. I'm walking out the door", she snorted and turned.

Had no choice then.

"I'm your daughter", I said.

"What?" she said and stopped.

I took a step closer, careful to not touch the oil. Preferred to not be a crisp.

"I'm your daughter. Sam, Dean and I are from 2010, we got zapped back here by an angel, not the one who attacked, a much friendlier one. I'm an angel myself. I became human the year 1982, the year before I was born as human. My other name, my 'real' name is Jophiel, the Archangel", I continued.

"You can't expect me to believe that", Mom said and shook her head.

"Our names are Dean, Sam and Abigail Winchester. We're named after your parents and Abigail was named after your best friend Josephine Wilson. When I would get sick, you would make me tomato-rice soup, because that's what your mom made you. And instead of a lullaby, you would sing 'Hey Jude', 'cause that's your favorite Beatles song", Dean spoke and appeared in the room standing behind me.

Mom shook her head, like she tried to clear out everything, while crying.

"I...I don't believe it. No", she whispered.

"I'm sorry, but it is the truth", I said and wiped away from water from my eyes.

"I raised my kids to be hunters?"

I shook my head.

"How could I do that to you?" she said horrified.

"You didn't do it. Because you're dead", I explained and kept my voice low.

Mom's eyes widened, probably and shock and in slight fear.

"What? What happened?"

"Yellow-eyed demon. He killed you, and— John became a hunter to get revenge. He raised us in this life. Listen to me. A demon comes into Abby and Sam's nursery exactly six months after they're born. November 2nd, 1983. Remember that date. And whatever you do, do not go in there. You wake up that morning and you take Sam and Abby and you run", Dean informed her.

"That's not good enough, Dean", Sam spoke.

I turned and saw him stand at the doorway.

Please don't say what I think you'll say, I begged in my head.

"Wherever she goes, the demon's gonna find her. Find me", he continued.

"Well, then what?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

"She can leave Dad. That's what. You got to leave John", Sam said.

"What?"

"No", I stated and shook my head.

"When this is all over, walk away, and never look back."

"You two will never be born", I whispered.

Dean nodded.

"I know, but he's right."

"I— I can't. You're saying that you're my children, and now you're saying—"

"You have no other choice. There's a big difference between dying and never being born. And trust me, we're okay with it, I promise you that", Dean reassured her, making my press my lips together in frustration.

"Well, I'm not", both Mom and I said.

If they got unborn, I would still remember them, forever. An angel never lost their memory of something (not really), even if it hadn't even happened in that timeline. And I would forever carry the grief.

"Listen, you think you can have that normal life that you want so bad, but you can't. I'm sorry. It's all gonna go rotten. You are gonna die, and your children will be cursed", Sam told her.

" There—there has to be a way", Mom opposed.

"No, this is the way. Leave John."

"I can't."

"This is bigger than us. There are so many more lives at stake—"

"You don't understand. I can't. It's too late. I'm...I'm pregnant", she slowly told us, making us all stare at her.

Already? But, what was the month? She didn't seem to be big, not at all.

Dad suddenly came in, looking stressed

"Hey, we got a problem. Those blood things, the sigils—they're gone", he told us, making me frown.

"What?" I asked.

"I drew one on the back of the door. I turned around. And when I looked back again, it was a smudge", he explained.

Dean went to check while Mom kneeled down to touch the floor— no oil.

"There's no more holy oil", she said.

And then all suddenly, some annoying angel started to blabber in Enochian, making my parents and brother cringe.

"Seriously!" I shouted up in the ceiling while the windows broke around us.

"Page! Sal Voch Feh!" I yelled in Enochian.

Quiet! Obey!

And actually, the angel listened. The voice started to fade and the others took away their hands from their ears, when I heard the sound of wings, and a man in his late twenties appeared. And since I could feel the angelic power radiate from him, I was pretty sure he was one.

"Tell me your name", I demanded and used my 'angel' tone, which was a bit bossy.

"I'm Uriel", he said, making me groan.

But whatever would happen in some minutes or seconds, could be the reason why Uriel hadn't liked us before even meeting us in our time.

"Oh, come on", Dean grumbled.

"Go", Sam said and pushed them back, when we noticed Anna standing behind us.

"Well, here we go", I muttered and lashed at Uriel while my brothers went for Anna.

I aimed for the ribcage, but Uriel took a grip of my hand and kind of twisted it into a weird angle, while he was crushing the bones in my fingers to mush. White pain jolted though my body, which made me see both white and red while I could hear my scream tore itself out from my throat.

Still in agony, I tried to kick away him while switching the blade onto my left arm, which was my weak one, but it would work.

Uriel seemed to notice what I was doing and threw me away from him and moved over to punch Dean, who had tried to attack from behind.

Suddenly, Anna jammed a metal pipe into Sam's body, which made him bleed through his mouth and fall down on the floor dead.

"No!" I choked out and crawled over to him, still feeling my fingers twitch and do whatever they were doing.

"Sammy", I whispered and stroke his head before I tried to stop Anna from touching Mom.

"I'm really sorry", she apologized and was about to end my mother's life, when suddenly—

"Anna", Dad spoke, his voice much deeper.

I looked up and dropped my jaw as I felt a huge, enormous explosion of celestial power radiate from him. No, it couldn't be…

"Michael", Anna and I whispered, she sounded terrified while I sounded shocked.

Last time I had seen him, he had been looking at me, betrayed, because of what I had been doing. Doing one of the worst crimes in Heaven, falling on purpose.

Michael put a hand on Anna's shoulder, making her gasp.

In that moment, I knew what was happening, he was burning her from inside out. And his fire, oh well, that could even smoke an angelic being.

There was a reason why he was the Archangel of Fire.

I didn't want to see my sister burn to death, but I couldn't not watch. It was too… capturing. Fire erupted from her eyes and mouth while she screamed, until there was only ashes left of her.

I closed my eyes and felt a tear slip down my face. Even though she had tried to kill my parents and killed Sam, I still saw her almost as a little sister, the young angel with pink wings, learning how to fly.

"Michael. I didn't know", Uriel said slowly and sounded terrified.

If angels could pee, then his pants would have been wet by now.

I glanced at Dean, who seemed to be okay. If Michael wouldn't resurrect my twin, I would kick his ass.

"Goodbye, Uriel", he said simply and snapped away him.

"What did you do to John?" Mom asked wearily and stared at Michael with fear in her eyes.

"John is fine", Michael stated simply.

"Who—what are you?" Mom questioned, her voice taking a dangerous tone.

I rose slowly as Michael pressed his hand on her forehead and put her to sleep.

"Well, I'd say this conversation is long overdue, wouldn't you?" Michael said and turned to Dean.

"Fix him", Dean and I ordered.

Michael looked at me amused before he turned to Dean again.

"First...we talk. Then I fix your darling little Sammy", he told us.

"How'd you get in my dad, anyway?" Dean wondered.

"I told him I could save his wife, and he said yes", Michael explained, like it was obvious.

"I guess they oversold me being your one and only vessel", Dean muttered.

"You're my true vessel but not my only one", Michael stated.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"The bloodline, your bloodline. Ours", I said.

"Isn't that right, Michael? Because we are related to Cain and Abel on John's side."

"Awesome. Six degrees of Heaven Bacon. What do you want with me?" Dean demanded.

"You really don't know the answer to that?"

"Well, you know I ain't gonna say yes, so why are you here? What do you want with me?!" Dean snapped.

"I just want you to understand what you and I have to do", Michael stated.

"Oh, I get it. You got beef with your brother. Well, get some therapy, pal. Don't take it out on my planet!" Dean snapped.

Michael smiled humorlessly, like he enjoyed seeing the little ant snap at him.

"You're wrong. Lucifer defied our father, and he betrayed me. Betrayed us", he added and looked at me.

"But still… I don't want this any more than you would want to kill Sam. You know, my brother, I practically raised him. I took care of him in a way most people could never understand, and I still love him. But I am going to kill him because it is right and I have to", Michael said.

I shook my head. Hearing him say it like that made me feel sick. For Dad's sake, didn't he have a mind of his own?

"All because Dad says so?" I said.

"Yes. From the beginning, he knew this was how it was going to end. You know it too, Jophiel. Isn't that why you fell? To forget it for a couple of years before you will do what you have to do, and choose to fight with me, or Lucifer."

"Yeah, I'll admit that, I did it to avoid everything, even for just two decades and more. And I was happy, unknowing. But now, I'm still happy. I still have a family, someone I love. I got all of it because I defied my Father, our Father. So why can't you and Lucifer back off and we can be family again?" I said.

Michael looked away, like he was thinking.

He then looked back at me, his eyes filled with sadness.

"I'm sorry, sister. But I am a good son", he responded.

It wasn't like I hadn't known the answer. He was Michael, after all. And changing couldn't happen in seconds when you had obeyed Dad's orders for eons.

"Okay, well, trust me, pal. Take it from someone who knows—that is a dead-end street", Dean said, and I knew he was right.

He had been like Michael, just like him, obeying everything Dad had said, until he started to think differently.

"And you think you know better than my father? One unimportant little man. What makes you think you get to choose?" Michael said, making me cringe.

My brothers meeting each other like this wasn't the best way in a family reunion, exactly. After all, my family was messed up.

"Because I got to believe that I can choose what I do with my unimportant little life", Dean replied.

"You're wrong. You know how I know? Think of a million random acts of chance that let John and Mary be born, to meet, to fall in love, to have the two of you. Think of the million random choices that you make, and yet how each and every one of them brings you closer to your destiny. Do you know why that is? Because it's not random. It's not chance. It's a plan that is playing itself out perfectly. Free will's an illusion, Dean. That's why you're going to say yes. Oh, buck up. It could be worse. You know, unlike my brothers, I won't leave you a drooling mess when I'm done wearing you", Michael said, like it was comforting.

"Well, what about our dad?" Dean wondered and hid his emotions behind his 'I don't care' mask.

How many times had I seen it?

"Better than new. In fact, I'm gonna do your mom and your dad a favor."

"What?" Dean wondered.

"Scrub their minds. They won't remember me or you", Michael told.

I nodded slowly, this was the only way. Even though I didn't want Mom to die, it would happen either way.

"You can't do that", Dean protested.

"I'm just giving your mother what she wants. She can go back to her husband, her family—"

"She's gonna walk right into that nursery!"

"Obviously. And you always knew that was going to play out one way or another. You can't fight City Hall", Michael stated and went over to Sam and zapped him back to our time.

I had never realized until that moment how douchy my brother was.

Believing everyone to agree on something just because it was 'right' and Dad said so. And he wasn't that touchy about human feelings. But then again, no angel was if they hadn't been on Earth for a while.

"He's home. Safe and sound. Your turn. I'll see you soon, Dean", Michael said and zapped him back.

I looked at Michael as he turned to zap me back. But he didn't.

"Now that we are alone, Jophiel. Let's talk, you and I."

"Fine, what do you want to talk about? That I fell and became human? At least will fall, in 1982. Or that you want me to fight on your side against Lucifer? Because I have already had this conversation with him, and I can do it again. Just give me a cough drop and we can begin", I told him.

The corners of his mouth went up slightly, almost unnoticeable, but I saw it.

"You know why I want you to side with me. Lucifer defied our Father's orders. He tainted humanity and made them sin. It was his fault Gadreel is imprisoned right now. And because of him in the Dungeons, Father left us. All he has done is wrong. But we can do the right thing, do what Father told us, and stop him, to bring Paradise on Earth", he said, like that was going to convince me.

He needed to do a lot more than that. The majority of what he said had been about our Dad and that it was the right thing to do.

"You know, Lucifer told me something, something about you, Michael. He told me that if I sided with Heaven, you'd punish me after you were done with me, when I am no longer useful. Because I fell. Maybe you let me do it that time, but never thinking about letting me go unpunished. And for some reason I believe him.

I know you, brother. You would slaughter all of us, Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel and me, if that's what you were told. Because you believe that you will be happy yourself, if you're a good soldier, a good son. But you're wrong. If you kill Lucifer, that won't disappear. You'll cope with it for the rest of your life… and we live forever. Is that something you're willing to live with?" I asked.

Michael looked down, like he believed I couldn't see the sorrow or the agony written all over his face.

And all of sudden, I saw his wings without him flying away or doing something with them. They looked just like I remember them doing. If Lucifer was ice, then Michael was fire.

Every little feather was made of fire, sending out warmth I hadn't noticed before. And the wings didn't fade, like usual, they stayed, like they had always been there.

"No, sister, you're wrong. I would never hurt you. Don't you think that, if I would hurt you, I would have done it by now? But I have to kill our brother, you know I have to do it. Isn't that what you and your other brothers are trying to do? Searching for a way to end his life? You're such a hypocrite, Jophiel. Here you stand, talking about me to not kill Lucifer, while you and the Winchesters are doing the same thing. Why? Why are you trying to stop me from doing what you and they are planning to do?"

He was right, I was a hypocrite. But unlike him, I chose to want to stop Lucifer because of that's what I knew was necessary, not because Dad had told me . Because if the angels won, the planet would still be broken. And even if they did bring Paradise, the Earth would be ruled by the angels. And with that, no Free Will. That was what we fought for, wasn't it? Free will.

"Because unlike you, I don't want to roast the planet, which you, Lucifer and I will do, if we fight. No. The answer's no", I whispered.

Michael tilted his head and sighed.

"Very well, then. We'll see each other in the future. And then, you will stand with your brother. The only question is: which one of us?"

Michael stepped closer to me and cupped my cheek with his hand, looking at me wistfully, before a white light appeared, and I was back in 2010.

* * *

"I really need a drink", I muttered as Dean and Sam fixed the booze and cups.

"Yeah, yeah, princess. We all need one", Dean replied.

From nowhere, Cas appeared with his wings, except the fact that he and the wings looked exhausted. Especially since he was bleeding through his nose.

I flew up from the bed and tried to steady him while he almost fainted, again.

"Cas. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Easy there. Don't do any hasty moves now", I said and glanced at his huge ebony wings, which still were there.

And they looked extremely physical, like when we had had sex. Wonder if….

"Cas!" Dean exclaimed and helped me with holding up him.

Fortunately, his wings weren't hurt, just tired from the time traveling, again.

"We got you, Cas. Relax", I told him gently.

"You son of a bitch. You made it", Dean said.

"I...I did? I'm very surprised. Wings….", Cas mumbled before he collapsed.

"Hey, hey, whoa. Sam, little help here?" I said.

"On the bed."

We carefully put him to bed, while I knew his wings wouldn't get affected by his weight on them, they had to be able to endure a lot worse.

"Well, I could use that drink now", Dean said.

"Told you", I chided in.

Dean fetched the whisky bottle while I got the cups. As Dean filled it, I stole glances from Cas being unconscious, it was a miracle he had managed to get back to our time.

"Well...this is it", Dean said.

"This is what?" Sam asked and took a sip.

"Team Free Will. One ex-blood junkie, one dropout with six bucks to his name, Miss former Amnesia, and Mr. Comatose over there. It's awesome", Dean said.

"It's not funny", Sam said.

"I'm not laughing", Dean replied.

"They all say we'll say yes", Sam stated.

I nodded and took a small sip.

"Well, my brothers are quite annoying, I'll admit that", I responded.

"What if they're right?"

I shook my head and lifted away the glass from my lips. They couldn't be right, the world couldn't afford that.

"They're not", Dean stated.

"I mean, why, why would we, either of us? But… I've been weak before", Sam reminded us.

"Sam", I said slowly.

"Michael got Dad to say yes", Sam protested.

"Yeah, but Anna was about to kill Mom", I told.

"And if you could save Mom...what would you say?"

I went silent, what would I say?

"I don't know", I admitted.

We were silent for a while, just drinking our drinks. I put away my now empty glass and sat down beside Cas and just stroke his wings softly. Even if he was sleeping/unconscious, the feather shivered and got warmer by my touch.

I smiled at that and caressed Cas' scrubby cheek before I rose again.

"Hey, Abster. Cas said something about wings, and I'm pretty sure he didn't mean us. So, maybe, perhaps, he meant you?" Dean wondered.

I widened my eyes. Me? Wings? Now? What?

"Dunno", I said.

"But I can try."

I moved to the wall and closed my eyes, trying to find the part of me with the wings.

"Son of a bitch", Dean mumbled.

" You don't say", Sam replied.

I was quite sure the wings had popped up as shadows, by now. I opened my eyes and almost let out a cry of joy. My wings, they were there, I could see them. And not only as an astral projection, the real deal. They were back. It seemed like I could also show them now.

"Wow, you never told us your wings were so, night-ly. And six", Dean remarked.

"Yeah, didn't want to brag", I said and smiled.

They looked like the night with the hint of blue and dark dark purple and with small star looking lights moving and shifting. Like I said, night.

"You have no idea how happy I am to have them back", I said and looked at them again, just to be sure they really were there.

My wings, I had missed them since the second I got my memories back. And finally, they were back.


	24. Happy Valentine's day

"So, here are the bodies", Mr. Corman told and showed us the bodies on the tables.

I widened my eyes and grimaced slightly. The bodies, those two had really been into love bites. On high level. Big chunks on both of the were missing and I was very sure I was aware of where they were.

"Any idea what happened with them?" I questioned and stared at them thoughtfully.

"Well, if you ask me, I have no clue. I guess they were just sick for love", he replied and pulled out a two boxes from the refrigerator, with their stomachs inside.

"Shit", I mumbled and saw pieces of meat stick out from them.

"Talk about Thanksgiving full."

* * *

"How'd it go?" Dean asked Sam when we were back at the motel.

"Um...No EMF, no sulfur. Ghost possession and demonic possession are both probably out", Sam informed us, making me raise my eyebrow.

"That's where I was puttin' my money", Dean muttered.

"Sam, oh gosh. You should've seen the bodies. They were like… ugh. Pieces of meat missing everywhere, their stomachs were full, you know. They looked worse than after a werewolf attack", I told him.

"Well...I mean, we got our feelers out. Not much more we can do tonight. All right. I'm just gonna go through some files. You can go ahead and get going", Sam said and directed the last to Dean.

Oh right, I thought. Valentine's Day, the day when Dean always had sex with someone.

"Sorry?" Dean said confused.

"Oh, you know. Unleash the Kraken. See ya in the morning", I said and stretched my wings.

If I could say how glad I was with having my wings back on the scale 1-10, I would say 100.

"Where am I going?" Dean wondered.

I rolled my eyes, had he started to get senile? Already? He was only thirty-one.

"Dean, it's Valentine's day. Your favorite holiday, remember? I mean, what do you always call it— Uh, unattached drifter Christmas?" Sam said and looked puzzled at me.

I nodded and smirked.

"Unattached drifter Christmas", I confirmed.

"Oh, yeah. Well... be that as it may...I don't know. Guess I'm not feeling it this year."

What? I thought and eyed him. Was he sick?

"So you're not into bars full of lonely women?" Sam questioned and looked at our brother suspiciously.

"Nah, I guess not. What?" he wondered when he noticed how both of us stared at him.

"That's when a dog doesn't eat— That's when you know something's really wrong", Sam stated, which I agreed on.

"Remarkably patronizing concern duly noted. Nothing's wrong. We gonna work or what?"

"Well, I hadn't planned to work this evening", I said and rose.

Sam and Dean looked at me confused.

"What are you going to do?" Sam asked and watched me walk away to the cupboard.

"Uh, you know. Valentine's Day, just because Dean won't do anything, doesn't it mean I won't", I stated and changed into a short red dress, black sweater tights, a black coat, fixed some makeup, and a pair of heels.

"Wait, so you and Cas are going…?" Sam wondered.

"Yup. Oh, come on, guys. This isn't my first date with him", I groaned when they shared a surprised look.

"It's just that… our little sister is going out on Valentine's Day. What will happen?" Dean said and smirked.

I rolled my eyes and blushed. Of course he believed that. Typical Dean.

"Take some condoms with you!" Dean called after me when I went out.

"Ha, ha!"

* * *

Cas waited for me in the town's park, dressed in his usual suit but had ditched the trench coat, actually. I raised my eyebrow slightly surprised but smiled. Some people were giving him strange looks because he didn't wear much clothing when it was winter, but they didn't know he was an angel. His stunning ebony wings rose a bit when he noticed me, making me smile even bigger.

"Abigail, you look marvelous", he said and widened his eyes.

"Thanks, you don't look bad yourself", I replied and gave him a quick kiss, which gave him slightly redder lips by the lipstick.

"So, where're we going first?" I wondered.

Cas smiled at me.

"Take my hand and follow me", he said.

I did as he asked for and watched his wings spread. Since I couldn't 'track' someone like ordinary angels could, I flew with him as quickly as I could, until we ended up in a huge city with a lot of people and lights.

"Oh my god, we're in France!" I gasped and admired the beautiful view from the freaking Eiffel Tower.

I had never been in France, not even as an angel. At least not on Earth.

And ever since I had been a teenager, I wanted to go here. The restaurants, the fashion, the monuments, everything. And they had a lot of history in France, like the French Revolution, where the people had been starving for food and the three words freedom, equality and brotherhood had been the words of the Revolution.

"Do you like it?" Cas asked and intertwined his hand with me.

I nodded and kissed him again, this time slower and longer.

"It's amazing, Cas", I told him and beamed.

"Let's go and check out the monuments around here."

I showed him around and told him about my point of view when the events had been, while he told me his. We both agreed on that Louis XVI had been a quite weak leader and that Pont Alexandre III was one of the most beautiful monuments in the whole city.

As we walked through the vast city, we saw a lot of bushes shaped as hearts, heart shaped balloons, a lot of heart shaped things. We also saw a lot of Cherubs flying around and making people fall in love with each other. But unfortunately, no one noticed and greeted us.

"I'm feeling a bit hungry. Do you think we can eat somewhere? I got one of my credit cards here", I said after three hours of sightseeing.

"If you want to", Cas replied and pointed at a fancy yet cozy restaurant with people speaking in French and English.

Even if there was a lot of people, the volume never got too loud to be able to hear the music in the place, or to hear Cas talk. Sometimes I wondered if someone was behind the not too loud sound.

Maybe some angel, perhaps?

I decided to eat a ratatouille with chicken filets, and to my slight astonishment, Cas chose to eat, even though he didn't need to eat something, since he was a full fledged angel.

But he did. He chose a beef with oven-baked potatoes with thyme. And we both enjoyed our meals. Paris + food= awesome.

* * *

"This is so wonderful", I said and sighed joyfully as we passed the cathedral

Notre-Dame, standing in its greatness, with lights surrounding the building.

"Mm, it is", Cas agreed and cupped my cheek with his hands and it felt like Grace as our lips moved like they were synched. I let my wings surround his body as I was fully aware that his were cloaked around me.

"I want to show you something", he murmured against my lips.

"What is it?" I wondered curiously and widened my eyes.

"Follow me."

Together, we went to an enormous garden with all kinds of trees harmonically placed, dams, animals, the whole enchilada. If I hadn't known better, it reminded me a lot of—

"Heaven", I whispered breathlessly as I touched a willow tree and looked back a Cas.

"How did you find this place?" I asked him.

"As I was looking for God, I stumbled upon this place unknowingly. I don't actually know where we are", Cas admitted and smiled shyly.

Everything inside me felt euphoric. Like I had forgotten it was the Apocalypse, the end. The fight. I lived in the now, here, in the garden with Cas.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" I said and wrapped my arms around his neck as he put his arms around my waist.

"As many times I have said it", Cas replied and let his lips touch mine.

The second they touched, a fire ignited in my chest. I wanted more of him. The kiss deepened as my hands went back and forth in his hair. Touch him, feel him, that was what I wanted. What I needed. Every time we touched each other, I fell in love with him over and over again.

If angels could have soulmates, I guessed Cas and I were each others'. But it hadn't been Fate, or Destiny bringing us together. It had been us.

* * *

"Dear goodness!" I exclaimed when Cas' phone rang, while we were in the middle of something.

Like, really in the middle of something, in the middle of the night.

"Dean?" Cas questioned before he zapped me and him to the Medical Center, right in front of Dean.

Fortunately, I was wearing clothes. To be more precise, FBI suit.

Cas had gotten better with knowing what to wear, I thought.

"We're there now", Cas confirmed, making it echo in Dean's phone.

"Yeah, I get that", Dean replied, making me roll my eyes.

"I'm gonna hang up now."

"Right."

Sam then pushed the box over to my side.

"So, get this, another murder and two suicides. And what we found was a letter, on each heart of the couple. We think it's Enochian."

"Can look it up. And you were kind of interrupting us, when we were in the middle of something", I told them.

Sam and Dean gagged slightly before Dean started to smirk.

"Told you you would need a condom or two."

I rolled my eyes again before I strapped on some gloves and picked up the heart and examined it with a microscopic lens. And there it was, the Mark of Union.

Fun, we had a rogue cherub to deal with.

"Hey, check it out", I told Cas and handed him the heart, which he took with his hand, without a glove.

Angels couldn't get sick by infections, and he probably could get his hand clean in a second anyway, I thought.

"You're right, Sam. These are angelic marks. I imagine you'll find similar marks on the other couples' hearts as well." Cas began.

"So, what are they? I mean, what do they mean?" Sam wondered.

"It's the Mark of Union. It's when two people are meant to fall in love, the forever type", I explained as Cas put back the heart and wiped away the blood off his hand, on the box.

"Okay, but who put them there?" Dean wondered.

"Cupid", I answered simply.

"A what?" Sam asked and looked like he had heard wrong.

"What human myth has mistaken for 'Cupid' is actually a lower order of angel. Technically it's a cherub, third-class", Cas told them.

"Cherub?"

"Yeah, they run around all over the world. And a lot in Paris, at least what I saw", I stated.

"You mean the little flying fat kid in diapers?" Dean questioned skeptically.

"They're not incontinent", Cas responded, making me smirk.

Angel or not, he wasn't the smartest when it came to popular culture.

"Okay, anyway. So, what you're saying—" Sam started.

"What I'm saying is a Cupid has gone rogue and we have to stop him—before he kills again", Cas informed.

"Naturally", Sam muttered.

"Of course we do", Dean said sarcastically.

* * *

"So, what, you just happen to know he likes the cosmos at this place?" Dean wondered after the waitress had left from our table.

I hadn't ordered anything, just a water. Although, unlike them, I already had eaten.

"This place is a nexus of human reproduction. It's exactly the kind of—of garden the Cupid will come to— to pollinate", Cas said slowly while Dean put ketchup on his burger.

And for some reason, Dean put the hamburger down, like he didn't have an appetite. Something was seriously wrong with him. He didn't eat, he didn't want to have sex, nothing.

"You're not hungry?" I wondered and stared at him suspiciously.

"No. What? I'm not hungry", Dean stated.

I raised my eyebrow stunned but let it go. If he wasn't hungry, fine.

"Then you're not gonna finish that?" Cas asked, making me raise my eyebrows, again.

For the first: angels didn't eat. Second: He ate just some hours ago! And that meal had been quite big.

"Okay—" I started until something caught my eye.

Something with four wings and a lot of eyes. Guess what that could be? A cupid!

"He's here", I murmured to Cas before he could begin with his hamburger.

And as the cupid was doing its job, the couple sitting on the same side of the booth began to kiss each other.

"Where? I don't see anything", Sam stated.

"He's there", I mumbled and follow the cupid's moves.

"You mean the same-side-of-the-booth couple over there?" Dean wondered.

"Meet me in the back", Cas told and zapped away.

I sighed and took a flew wingbeats before I was standing beside him.

Flying really took your power without having help, I thought and stretched my wings, who had started to ache. Like, after hard training. I guessed I used up a lot of my flying energy in France.

"Are you okay?" Cas asked concerned and glanced at me, before he turned back and held the cupid tethered.

"Yeah, flying really takes your energy sometimes", I told and flapped weakly with them, just to let them relax.

"Cas, where is he?" Sam asked when he and Dean approached.

"I have him tethered. Zoda Kama Mahrana. Manifest yourself", Cas demanded.

Cupid flew away, or zapped away somewhere, it seemed like. Well, at least not far from here, the angel power was too strong to be outside the place, and it wasn't Cas'.

"So, where is he?" Dean asked, before it popped into existence with his four wings and grabbed my brother in a tight hug.

"Here I am!" he exclaimed and laughed.

I stared at him confused, wasn't he supposed to be rogue and violent? He looked too… kind to be rogue.

"Help!" Dean gasped.

"Oh, help is on the way. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Hello, you!" Cupid called and dropped Dean, only do crush me with his hug.

I yelped as his angelic strength almost made me pee myself, I hadn't been to the bathroom for a while now.

"Ouch!" I squealed.

"Hello, you!" Cupid greeted loudly and hugged Cas, making him make sounds of discomfort.

Poor, baby, I thought. Even his wings looked slightly 'crushed'.

"This is Cupid?" Dean said horrified.

"Yep", I told before the cupid dropped Cas.

"And look at you, huh?" he said cheerfully.

"No", Sam said terrified and backed away, only to be crushed by him again.

The perks with having wings.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!"

"Is this a fight? Are we in a fight?" Dean wondered as Sam was fighting helplessly against the naked cupid.

For my own eyes and to be polite, I didn't stare at something that was below his waist.

"This is... Their handshake", Cas explained slowly while I moved closer to him.

"I don't like", Dean muttered.

"No one likes it", Cas replied as I watched Cupid drop Sam after hugging him longer than the rest of us.

It was really a miracle they hadn't noticed the fact that they were the only one liking their handshake.

"What can I do for you?" he asked us.

"Isn't it obvious? Why are you killing the ones you've marked?" I questioned.

"What? They are?" Cupid wondered with his smile faltering.

"Listen, birthday suit, we know, okay? We know you been flittin' around, popping people with your poison arrow, making them murder each other!" Dean said loudly.

"What we don't know is why", Cas added.

"If this is some order from my brothers, they're so gonna deal with me", I muttered.

"You think that I—Well, uh...I don't know what to say", Cupid said started to sob loudly while turning away from us.

Wow, took an unexpected turn, I thought and stared at the crying cupid, who still was naked, which was awkward.

"Should...Should somebody maybe... go talk to him?" Sam wondered and glanced at Cupid wearily.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Give 'em hell, Cas", Dean said and patted the angel's back.

"You go, Cas", I said and pushed him gently toward the cherub.

Cas glared at us before he looked at Cupid awkwardly.

"Um... look. We didn't mean to, um...hurt your feelings", he began before Cupid gripped him tight and hugged him, again.

I was really glad that I wasn't the one to comfort the cupid.

"Love is more than a word to me, you know. I love love. I love it! And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right!" Cupid sobbed.

"Yes, yes. Of course. I, uh...I have no idea what you're saying", Cas stated and patted Cupid's back slowly.

I glanced at Sam and Dean before I went back to looking at Cas and the crying cupid. This was one of the most sensitive cherubs I'd ever seen. And cherubs were sensitive.

"I was just on my appointed rounds. Whatever my targets do after that that's nothing to do with me. I— I was following my orders. Please, brother. Read my mind. Read my mind, you'll see", Cupid told and let Cas read his mind.

By judging Cas' expression, Cupid was innocent.

"He's telling the truth."

"Jiminy Christmas. Thank you."

"Wait, wait, you said—You said you were just following orders?" Dean wondered.

"Mm."

"Whose orders?"

"Whose? Heaven, silly. Heaven!" Cupid said and laughed.

"Why does Heaven care if Harry meets Sally?" Dean asked.

"They don't. They just care about bloodlines, destinies, durable vessels. Like us, or you two, to be exact", I explained.

"What?" Sam said.

"Yeah, the union of John and Mary Winchester— Very big deal Upstairs, top priority arrangement", Cupid added.

"Are you saying that you fixed-up our parents?" Dean asked.

"Did you know this?" Sam wondered and looked at me.

"Um…" I started awkwardly.

"Well, I was one of the ones who ordered it to happen. Michael, Raphael and I. We kind of ruled Heaven and fixed everything. So… yeah."

Dean and Sam stared at me before they turned back to Cupid.

I actually had a very excuse for not telling them, it hadn't been necessary. Why would it be important with Mom and Dad getting together by Heaven? Oh right, because they were dead. Another thing I was pissed at myself as an angel.

"Well, not me, but... Yeah. Well, it wasn't easy, either. Ooh, they couldn't stand each other at first. But when we were done with them— Perfect couple", Cupid told them.

"Perfect?" Dean questioned.

"Yeah."

"They're dead!"

"I'm sorry, but... the orders were very clear. You and Sam needed to be born. Your parents were just, uh...meant to be. A match made in Heaven. Heaven!" Cupid sang before Dean punched him in the face.

Hadn't he learned anything about punching angels in the face? Last time he'd punched an angel (Cas), the angel hadn't felt anything and Dean had hurt his hand. Which he did, again.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean grumbled before the emotionally hurt cherub flew away.

"Where is he? Where'd he go?!"

"I believe you upset him", Cas stated, making me nod.

"Upset him?!"

"Dean, stop it. You just punched a cupid", I said.

"I punched a dick!" Dean protested.

"Um...Are we gonna talk about what's been up with you lately or not?" Sam asked Dean.

"Or not", Dean stated and left.

* * *

After that, I kind of started to have a French Fries frenzy, which made me realize that it wasn't love gone wrong, it was Famine, the Horseman. And things got clearer when Cas ate at least a hundred burgers, or more.

But we had some problems, Sam. His cravings for demon blood got stronger. So we chained him to the bathroom (he escaped) and went to take Famine's ring. Which went fine. In our standards.


	25. I'm sorry, little brother

**A/N: Warning, contains some perhaps disturbing scenes. I don't know if this may be triggering, but if it is, tell me**

We then went to Sioux Falls, where the dead started to rise, including Bobby's wife Karen. What none of us knew was that the dead later turned into the Walking Dead zombies, which wasn't so good. Especially not since Death himself had a message for Bobby. When Death itself had a message to you, you knew you were in trouble.

I was starting to think more and more that we needed Dad's help to defeat Lucifer. What else could we do?

* * *

«Hell», I muttered when my wing was stuck under my body.

It was kind of like I had airy wings that could go through fabric when I dressed. Otherwise, I could accidentally sit on them, or lie on then.

«Looking for this?» some guy with a mask said and emptied Dean's gun and tossed it away.

I looked in front of myself and saw another masked man point a gun toward me. Fun, getting threatened this early.

«Mornin'», Dean said sarcastically.

«Shut up. Hands where I can see 'em», first man ordered.

I rose up and grabbed my flannel, making the second man follow my hands with his gun.

«Easy, dude. I'm just putting on some clothes», I said and put it over my bra and buttoned it.

«Wait a minute. Is that you, Roy? It is, isn't it? Which makes you Walt and Greg. Hiya Walt and Greg», Dean greeted them.

I raised my eyebrow. Walt, Roy and Greg? What the hell? Why were they pointing their guns at our heads? What had we done them? The only thing I had done to Greg, was taking money from him in a pool game.

«Don't matter», Walt said and took off his mask, with Roy and Greg doing it just after him.

«Well, is it just me, or do you three seem a tad upset?» Dean said.

«You think you can flip the switch on the Apocalypse and just walk away, Sam?» Walt questioned.

I raised my eyebrow. Since when did they know about it?

«Who told you that?» Sam wondered.

«We ain't the only hunters after you. See you in the next life», Walt said to him.

«Hear me out. I can explain, okay? Please», Sam pleaded.

I looked at Sam, just before Walt shot him in the chest, making me almost lunge at him, when Greg moved the shotgun closer to my head.

«Stay down», he ordered.

«You just killed my twin, and you believe I wouldn't react?» I growled and glared at him with my death glare, which made him back away.

«Shot 'em both», Walt ordered them, making both Roy and Greg look a bit uneasy.

«Killin' Sam was right, but Dean and Abigail…»

«They made us, and we just snuffed their brother, you idiot. You want to spend the rest of your life knowing Dean and Abigail Winchester are on your ass, 'cause I don't. Shoot 'em», Walt said again.

I glanced at Sam and then looked at the hunters and smirked.

«Yeah, shoot us. But I will come back, and be ready, because my face will be the last you see. I swear on that», I threatened and made my eyes glow blue and my wings show up on the wall.

They widened their eyes and looked quite or very uneasy. The light faded from my eyes as I eyed Greg daringly.

«Come on, Greg! Get this over with!»

«Come on, already» Walt grumbled and shot me in the heart.

* * *

I opened my eyes, and found myself standing in the Garden, with no people there. And I was quite sure I wasn't there, not really. Because I wasn't wearing what I wore down on the Earth. Instead, I wore a robe which fitted with the color my wings. Plus, my halo was glowing above my head,

All of sudden, Lucifer appeared beside me, his icy wings touching my midnight.

«We must come to the Throne Room, sister. Father wants us to witness the creation of the first angels», he said to me.

I nodded and followed him there, where Dad sat on the throne and my other brothers were kneeling in front of him. Lucifer and I did as they did and let our lower wings cover our feet.

«Father, we have come. We are here to witness the creation of our brothers and sisters», I said softly and remembered what had happened all those billon years ago.

«I'm happy you are here, my children», Dad said and all of sudden, the four of us were in the Garden again,

Now, since I hadn't been a soldier of Heaven for awhile, I found that feat extremely unnecessary, since I already had been in the Garden. Oh well, I hadn't cared about that before.

Lights, pure white, shone everywhere before Seraphs (including Gadreel) and some Angels were standing everywhere, looking very weak and fledgling-ish.

I smiled slightly at how cute the angels were, until another white light appeared, which seemed to search for me.

I widened my eyes: Zachariah. Couldn't I enjoy one memory before I got hunted?

I looked around and tried to find 'the road'. Which I saw, and it looked like a ordinary road, which I found extremely weird since the Garden didn't have any highways. Especially not one of cement.

Oh well, had to work.

I ran toward it as Zachariah continued to track me, but the problem was that he wasn't the only one who was searching for me.

Two more angels appeared and grabbed me before I could reach the road.

"Let me go!" I shouted and struggled against them, in vain of course.

"I'm so glad that we can talk again, boss. You know, having to deal with you without memories… quite annoying", Zachariah sighed after having appeared in front of me, looking full-on angel.

"Well, boho for you, dickface. I'm still gonna say no", I snapped and spat in his face, which disappeared in a millisecond.

He shook his head disappointed and threw a lazy look on one of the angels holding me. I looked up to see one of my captors and gasped.

I had seen that face too many to ever mistake it.

"Raziel", I whispered, which he only responded with looking away.

Was it funny for Zachariah to use him in this 'mission'? 'Cause I was quite sure that he knew that Raziel had been another angel I had raised, just not the same time as Gadreel.

"Take her to the Dungeons. No torture— Or when I think about it", Zachariah added.

"Let Thaddeus scratch her a bit. Not too much, or Michael will kill me."

The Dungeons.

The place which every angel feared to end up in. Some had to be there for ten years, other thousand. Even if I hadn't been chatty type as an angel, other had talked about how it was like Hell. And they would lock me up there.

I knew I wouldn't be killed and couldn't (not without an Archangel's blade) but I was sure they would keep me there until I joined.

And that scared the shit out of me.

"Raziel", Zachariah told sharply, which made him obey and fly away with me.

"Please, Raziel. I'm begging you. Don't do this", I begged as he brought me to one of the cells and locked the door, without looking at me once.

Fantastic. Would I have to spend my eternity here now? And what about my brothers? What if Zachariah caught them and would force them to say yes before sending them back?

"I still won't say yes, Michael!" I yelled against the bars, knowing that he didn't hear me, but still…

"Jophiel?"

I froze. That voice, I hadn't heard that voice in thousands of years, even less seen him. But there he was, watching my face in pure shock. It maybe was because of the fact that looked like my human form with my Archangel wings and glowing Grace colored eyes, along with the fact that I now had an eye on each of my palm. Being partly angel was so frustrating.

"Gadreel", I whispered and felt tears rise up in my eyes.

God, everything just washed over me at once, the guilt, his screams. How could I have done this to him? An angelic being didn't have scars, and when it did, it was because of extreme pain and torture for years and years.

And Gadreel— my poor brother —was covered in those.

"I'm so sorry, little brother", I sobbed and reached out for him, my smooth hand touching his scarred one.

"I'm so sorry."

"Sister, you're… different", he said confused and examined my tearstained face and body.

"Is it because of my new look?" I wondered and chuckled slightly while wiping away my tears.

Gadreel shook his head and frowned.

"No, it's not your appearance I am thinking about. You're not as—"

"Mean as before?"

My brother shook his head slowly, I guessed that he tried to find another word for that.

"No, I believe 'hard' would be the more specific word", he told me.

I had told Sam and Dean before that I had been a dick during my time as angel, so being called hard was the kindest thing I would have called myself.

"I'm so sorry, Gadreel. I'm sorry that I ever opened that cell. If I could go back to that moment when Father gave me that order, I would have fallen the second he'd said it."

Gadreel looked down on the floor, before he snapped his head up frightened at something— or someone. I could hear footsteps, but I didn't want to see. But it ended up with someone grabbing my chin.

"Hello, boss", Thaddeus said and gave me a slight smile.

"Shall we begin with you?"

My body went cold as he entered my cell, twirling his angel blade in his hand while watching me like a bunch of paperwork he was forced to do by his boss. Every tiny part of me wanted to scream and flee from the gleaming blade.

"You should be lucky that Zachariah told me to be kind, Jophiel. Or else you would end up like Gadreel beside you", he said and knocked me down on the ground, making me groan by the pounding pain in my head.

It had only begun, I would soon beg to be dropped from the Empire State Building. I knew that.

The first thing the angel did (as warm-up, according to himself) was cutting deep gashes and stabbing the tiny bits of whole skin that had survived his slicing of me. But that was just the beginning, because I later wished that he could have continued to slice my skin.

Oh God it hurt. The agony almost went to Alistair's type of torturing. Except that the demon had done it with passion and while singing 'Cheek to cheek' or discussing something irrelevant while his victim was lying down and being skinned alive, while Thaddeus did it coldly, like a robot. But I believed that he enjoyed it, or hated it, it was hard with him and expressions. And he was actually' kind' to me when it came to the torturing.

Because that was what he'd been told to do. I almost wanted to thank Zachariah.

Almost.

"Please, stop!" I choked out, crying blood red tears as he was fixating on my wings.

My poor wings.

He couldn't cut them off, few things could cut off an Archangel's wings, if that even was possible. But wings were one of the most intimate things for us. And getting them hurt, it was horrifying to even be thinking about it.

"I'm begging you, STOP!"

It went on for minutes and minutes, it almost felt like hours, before Thaddeus stopped. By then, I almost felt dead (again), lying in my own blood while my slashes with bloody flesh was glowing with the Grace I had gotten back.

"You know that I'll stop completely when you say 'yes'", he told me emotionlessly before locking my cell again.

This time, I could hear Gadreel's screams echo in the Dungeon. And that scream dug deep into my heart making me cry for him too.

If I could say yes… then I could stop this…

Stop, Abigail! I scolded myself furiously.

Just don't listen to the sound, Jophiel. Don't listen… Shut it out. Please, try, no matter how much it hurts in you… Thaddeus won't kill him, he never has done it. Fight it…

"I'm sorry! Mercy, brother!" Gadreel screamed in agony while I could hear ugly ripping sounds from his cell.

I really didn't want to see what happened in there. That would probably push me to say 'yes'. The Earth wouldn't stand such an impact of power and wrath rained upon it.

"Please stop, stop, stop", I mumbled faintly against the ground, being well aware that they could hear every word I said.

"I beg you, take me again. Take me again, please, I beg you, Thaddeus. You can do whatever you want with me. I won't let Michael or Raphael punish you. Just please…" I whispered.

"…don't hurt him."

Gadreel's screams stopped after some seconds, making me sigh in relief. Thaddeus then entered my cell again, covered in some of Gadreel's Grace while watching me amused.

"No, don't! Don't hurt her anymore!" Gadreel protested without Thaddeus paying attention to any of his words.

"Just remember, boss", he began and shoved me harshly against the wall before leaning forward so his 'main' face only was an inch from me. I had only been this close with boyfriends and Cas, so this position felt more uncomfortable than it really should be.

"It was you who wanted this."

If I had believed the previous torture was terrible, then I couldn't describe with words how this was. I couldn't even imagine the excruciating pain Gadreel and Abner went through, every day, for centuries and in Gadreel's case: forever. But as long as I could protect my little brother, I would do it. I could now understand Dean for being protective of Sam and I.

I really could.

* * *

Every part of me, every half celestial wavelength I had become, was broken. And whatever part of me that that still was human, was even worse than my angelic part.

My wings were slick with blood and Grace, feathers missing and ripped off brutally and uncaring. But they were already growing back, they always did.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see any more of what he did to me, I had seen enough.

"Just say yes, Jophiel", Thaddeus whispered, one of his faces again too close to my exposed bloody throat for my liking, but I felt too weak to even try to struggle.

"You know I will stop this, I will heal you, you will go free. Just say yes."

I opened my eyes and met his sadly before gathering energy to even create a reply.

"I… I don't know."

Thaddeus' faces were almost emotionless, but I could see a small flicker of satisfaction when hearing that. What was he happy over?

"Very well, I believe it's not much left for me to do", he stated (was that relief?) before he put his blade just where my collarbones met and was about to press down, when—

"Thaddeus."

Both he and I froze and watched the angel standing outside the cell, watching us with care.

"Joshua", he greeted the newcomer and turned to meet his eyes.

"What brings you here? I had come to think you only spend your time in the Garden."

Joshua nodded slowly. I liked Joshua, he was a good angel. And wise too, unlike many of our kind.

"I have orders to let Jophiel free from here, I have to speak to her", he explained.

Thaddeus watched Joshua skeptically and if he'd had eyebrows, he'd have raised them by now. Not that I could blame him, angels often didn't like to follow orders from lower-ranking angels.

"And whose orders is that?" Thaddeus questioned doubtfully, still letting the angel blade rest on my already healing skin.

"The Boss's", was Joshua's simple reply, which of course made both Thaddeus and I widen our eyes in shock.

Whispers and rumors about Joshua really talking with Dad had been heard a lot, but him really confirming that wasn't usual to hear. But now, perhaps, I could ask him about Him, where He was.

"And how can I be sure that you are not lying?" Thaddeus demanded, his grip around my neck loosening drastically.

"Thaddeus, do you really believe I lie about such a huge thing?" Joshua wondered gently.

He looked at Joshua, before he turned his eyes to me, his hand touching my forehead with more care than I had ever received from him, which healed my damages in less than a second. No signs of his recent torture was seen on me, not even on my wings.

Thaddeus stepped away, giving me space to leave the cell before he exited it too, only to go to Gadreel's.

"No!" I burst out and flung myself at the bars, making Thaddeus unable to open it.

"Free him, he has paid for his mistake too many times. It's his time to be forgiven."

Thaddeus sighed annoyed and shoved me away with ease before opening the door.

"It's not your place to tell me that anymore, Jophiel", he said with the same robot-y tone he'd had before I had begged him on my bare knees.

But this Thaddeus was simpler and easier to understand, than the Thaddeus I had seen only minutes ago, asking me to say yes, to let him heal me. He had been like a stranger to me.

"Joshua, what has Dad told you about Gadreel?" I mumbled and looked away when Gadreel began to stumble away from him.

He gently put his hand on my shoulder and sighed sadly.

"I'm sorry, Jophiel. But Gadreel's time for redemption has not come yet."

"Forgive me, little brother", I whispered while something in me shattered, before both Joshua and I flied away.

* * *

I cast a look on Joshua with a sad yet grateful look, before I noticed where I was: The Garden. But it didn't look like it had done before, when I had been an angel. It looked like the Garden I had seen as angel, both a garden and God's Throne room. It was now accompanied with some botanic I remembered from somewhere. Probably a lot of that part was affected by Sam and Dean, who were standing beside me now. But I was quite sure they didn't see the Garden and The Throne Room.

"Abby? Where the hell have you been?" Dean asked when they noticed me.

I shook my head slowly while watching Sam's eyes flicker around, drinking in every detail of the Garden.

"I will tell you later."

«This is Heaven's Garden?» Sam wondered baffled as we stepped down toward Joshua.

Yep, they couldn't see it.

«It's-it's nice… ish. I guess», Dean said, making me smile slightly.

«You see what you want to here. For some it's God's throne room; for others it's Eden. You two, I believe it's the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. You came here on a field trip», Joshua explained.

I glanced at the huge trees in the Garden. I had almost forgotten the height, they really were vast.

"So, you talk to God», Sam stated.

«Mostly, He talks to me», Joshua replied.

«Well, we need to speak to Him. It's important», Sam told.

«Where is he?» Dean questioned.

«On Earth», Joshua said.

«But what is He doing there?» I asked him.

«I don't know.»

«Do you know where on Earth?» Sam wondered.

«No, sorry. We don't exactly speak face-to-face», Joshua explained.

I raised my eyebrow at him thoughtfully.

«Don't take this personal, but Dad hasn't talked with any of us in the last thousands of years. Then why—» I began.

«Why's he talking to me? I sometimes think it's because I can sympathize—gardener to gardener—and, between us, I think he gets lonely», Joshua told, making Dean do a bitter face.

«Well, my heart's breaking for him», he muttered.

«Well, can you at least get him a message for us?» Sam asked and interrupted Dean from pissing off the only angel (besides Cas) who didn't want to send us to Michael.

«Actually, he has a message for you. Back off», he said.

I widened my eyes and stared at Joshua. Had I heard right? Wow, what an awesome father I had. Or two.

One had at least tried to help a bit (John), but the other…

No, he just thought that we could defeat one of the most powerful beings in the freaking Creation and letting Gadreel rot in his cell.

Thanks, Dad.

«What?» Dean said confused.

«He knows what the angels are doing. He knows that the Apocalypse has begun. He just doesn't think it's his problem», Joshua said simply.

I took a deep breath so I wouldn't snap at Joshua, but the words still came out slightly harsher than I had intended.

«Not his problem? He's the one who created all of us. How can it not be his problem?» I demanded, my voice shaking.

«God saved you already. He put you on that plane. He brought back Castiel. He granted you salvation in Heaven, and after everything you've done too. It's more than he's intervened in a long time. He's finished. Magic amulet or not, you won't be able to find him», Joshua told us.

«But he can stop it. He can stop all of it», Dean protested.

Thanks, Dad. Thanks a lot. What else could we do? I wasn't strong enough to take on Lucifer, he'd probably be able to take me down after a few swings with an Archangel blade. It felt over.

Dad had been that one hope I had believed in, but now, what could we do?

* * *

«Hello? Who's there?» Walt demanded.

I didn't say anything. The shadows around me had started to cooperate with me now. I was pretty sure that I could almost be invisible in the night.

The blade in my hand felt both cold and warm in my hand as I fingered on it.

«Who's there? Roy? Greg?» he said, his voice becoming insecure.

I let the shadows fade around me before he widened his eyes shocked.

«Thought you'd had seen the last of me?» I said and tilted my head.

«Where's… Where's Roy and Greg?» he asked nervously and glanced around me, like he hoped they were behind me, ready to attack.

I smiled joylessly, like a marble statue created to smile at people.

«Let's just say that they didn't suffer. But you… You killed me. You killed my brothers. No one kills my family and lives», I stated calmly.

Walt started to back against the wall as I slowly closed the distance more and more. He swallowed and drew out a knife and threw it at me. The knife then slowed more and more in the air, before it dropped down on the floor.

«I guess I've got some new juice», I said and stabbed Walt in the arm, making him cry out in pain.

The blade dug deeper and deeper into his flesh before I let it slide down toward his hand, creating a huge hole in it.

I pulled it out while holding his throat against the wall with more strength than I had had as human.

«This will hurt a bit», I stated calmly and shoved the knife into his eyeball.

Walt screamed as I cut off the muscles around his eyes, before I yanked the knife out, the tissue of it pouring out like black goo.

I did the same with the other, making him whimper in agony, almost like music in my ears.

I ripped up his shirt and tossed it away, before I began to carve into him, just normal wounds, everywhere on his body. I didn't torture him like I had tortured in Hell. He should be damn thankful… At least he hadn't been in Heaven's dungeon, or Hell for that part…

After both he and I were covered in his blood, I stopped, staring at the result. His face, blood. Body, blood.

«Just kill me», he mumbled.

I smiled coldly.

«Sure», I said and slit his throat.

The murderer of my brothers and I, slumped down the wall, gasping for air once or twice, before he went limb.


	26. Desperate

I then spent some days alone, just trying to not think about Joshua's words, Thaddeus, or anything at all. Wondering why I even had hoped Dad to help us. He was God, after all. Or else he'd have come and fixed this already.

That was my living, until Sam called me about something important. Dean was gone, gone to say yes to Michael.

And, I could understand why Dean was doing it. He was desperate, and perhaps, so was I.

«Sending someone a candy-gram?» Sam asked Dean when I had zapped us there.

«How'd you find me?» Dean questioned.

«You're going to kill yourself, right? It's not too hard to figure out the stops on the Farewell Tour. How's Lisa doing, anyways?»

«I'm not going to kill myself», Dean stated.

«Yeah? Well, saying yes to Michael is kind of the same shit. Dean, come on! You can't do this» I said.

«Oh yeah? Then why did Joshua say that you were desperate. Don't lie, Abby. You're thinking the same thing, aren't you?»

I widened my eyes, but I didn't protest.

«Just…please. Not now. Bobby is working on something», Sam pleaded (maybe to me too).

«Oh, really? What?» Dean demanded.

Sam didn't answer. Instead, he looked at Dean with his puppy eyes.

«You got nothing and you know it.»

«You know we have to stop you», Sam stated quietly.

«Yeah, well, you can try. Just remember: You're not all hopped up on demon blood this time» Dean reminded him.

«Maybe so. But we've got some help», Sam replied.

Just in that second Dean turned, Cas appeared and knocked him out with his mojo.

Dean fell down on the floor with a loud thump, fast asleep.

* * *

«Yeah, no, this is good. Really. You know, eight months of turned pages and screwed pooches but tonight, tonight's when the magic happens», Dean muttered as Sam, Bobby and I were looking in the books for something, or someone except Michael which/whom could stop Lucifer.

Over and over again, I knew an answer, but it was stupid, and desperate. But then again, weren't we that?

«You ain't helpin'», Bobby said annoyed.

«Yeah, well, why don't you let me get out of your hair, then?» Dean wondered.

«What the hell happened to you?»

«Reality happened. Nuclear's the only option we have left. Michael can ice the devil, save a boatload of people», Dean stated.

«Not all of them», I remind and flipped a page, the feeling that it could be the only way still nagged inside me.

No! Stop, you idiot!

«We gotta think of something else», Bobby told Dean.

«Yeah, well, that's easy for you to say. But if Lucifer burns this mother down, and I coulda done something about it, guess what? That's on me », Dean stated.

«You can't give up, son», Bobby said.

Dean looked down on the floor and laughed coldly.

«You're not my father. And you ain't in my shoes», he replied.

I glared at Dean angrily. Bobby had lost his ability to walk because he loved Dean so much. And this was how Dean thanked him? By throwing it back into his face?

Bobby didn't answer.

Instead, he took out a gun, looking at it thoughtfully for a second, before he put it on the desk. He then pulled out a bullet from his front pocket and held it up, making all of us look at it slightly uneasily.

"What is that?» Dean demanded and eyed the bullet suspiciously.

«That's the round that I mean to put through my skull», Bobby told us all simply and but the bullet on the desk beside the gun.

My eyes fell on Bobby, my insides getting cold. Would he kill himself? Now? What?

«Every morning, I look at it. I think, 'Maybe today's the day I flip the lights out.' But I don't do it. I never do it. You know why? Because I promised you I wouldn't give up!»

Suddenly, Cas let out a sound and held his face in his hands and it really looked like he was in pain. Angel radio?

I rose quickly and rushed to his side, holding my hands on him gently.

«What happened?» I asked him.

«Was it… angel radio?»

«Something's happening», Cas said and flew away.

I stared at the spot where he'd been standing, before I sat down on a chair and let my wings brush the floor. Of course, neither of those who were standing in the same room couldn't see them.

Should I say yes? Or should I keep fighting a fight no one of us knew how to win without his help? Would I sacrifice the world, to make the rest of it a better place?

Or would I fight for the whole world, with the threat that all of it would be completely destroyed, hanging over my head?

«Help!» Cas said when he came back with a dirty boy.

«Guys!» Bobby shouted at us while Cas put the him on the couch.

I stepped forward and froze.

Was my brother that desperate, so desperate he'd use him instead of Dean?

«Who is it?» Bobby wondered and eyed us confused.

«That's our brother», Sam whispered while I couldn't get out a sound.

«Wait a minute. Your brother? Adam?»

I nodded and looked at Cas worriedly.

«Cas, what the hell?» Dean demanded as Cas put two bloody angel blades on the table.

«Angel ,» he only said, making me shake my head slowly.

He really was desperate now, I thought.

«We need to hide him. Cas?» I said and looked at him and Adam.

He nodded slowly and put his hand on Adam's chest, carving in the Enochian warding sigil on his ribs. The second he'd begun, Adam snapped his eyes open and rose into sitting position immediately.

«Where am I?» he exclaimed while panting of exhaustion.

Was after all his first time coming back from the dead.

«It's okay. Just relax, you are safe», Sam said calmly.

«Who the hell are you?» he demanded.

«Adam, please don't freak out, but… We're your siblings», I explained slowly.

«It's the truth. John Winchester was our father, too. See, I'm Sam—» he began before Adam interrupted him.

«Yeah, and I'm sure that's Dean and Abigail. I know who you are. They warned me about you», he told.

While Sam and Dean looked confused, I sighed.

«Let me guess: Angels? They told you that we were bad and we can't be trusted?» I guessed.

«Yeah, so can you tell me where the hell Zachariah is?» he said.

I glanced at Cas slightly.

«How about I take you to the bathroom first?» I suggested.

Adam shrugged and let me lead him to the shower.

«Alright, so… I've got some clothes from Dean, I'm pretty sure you're around the same size. Just tell me if you need something else», I told and handed him the clothes.

«Thanks. Just so you know, you don't have to wash me up or anything. I'm fine now», he said, making me roll my eyes.

«We can say that if you want. I don't want to not hurt your pride.»

* * *

«So why don't you just tell us everything? Start from the beginning», Dean said to Adam.

He was silent for a moment, before he spoke.

«Well, I was dead and in Heaven. 'Cept it—it uh, kinda looked like my prom and I was making out with this girl, her name was Kristin McGee—» he began.

«Yeah, that sounds like Heaven. Did you get to third base?» Dean wondered and smirked, making me clear my throat.

«Don't listen to what he said. Keep telling», I said.

«Well, these…these angels, they popped out of nowhere, and they tell me that I—I'm chosen.»

I raised my eyebrow. Michael was really becoming desperate, or if it was Zachariah.

«For what exactly?» I asked, just to be sure.

«To save the world», he replied.

«And how are you going to save the world? Did they tell you that?» I questioned.

«Oh, me and some Archangel are going to kill the Devil», he replied.

And, he was desperate.

«What Archangel?» Dean asked stunned.

«Michael. I'm his uh, sword or vessel or something, I don't know.»

«Well, that's insane» Dean stated.

I shook my head patiently.

«Not really. It can work. Adam's still Sam's brother and Dad's son», I explained.

«Well you gotta be kidding me», Dean muttered.

«Why would they do this?» Sam wondered.

«Maybe they're desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them», Cas said.

«Alright, you know what? Blow me, Cas», Dean snapped.

«He's taken», I said, trying tom lighten the mood, which went to hell.

«Look, no way. After everything that's happened? All that crap about destiny? Suddenly the angels have a Plan B? Does that smell right to anybody?» Sam wondered.

I shrugged slightly. He was right, it did feel suspicious when I thought about it. But what could we do?

«You know this has been a really moving family reunion, but uh, I got a thing, so—» Adam began and rose.

«Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no. Sit down. Just listen, okay? Please», Sam pleaded.

«It's unbelievable» Adam stated but sat down.

«Now, Adam…the angels are lying to you. They're full of crap», Sam said.

«Yeah, I don't think so», he replied.

«Really? Why not?»

«Um, 'cause they're angels.»

I rolled my eyes and watched Sam persuade Adam to not go. Which, eventually did happen.

* * *

«Maybe Michael and me fighting against Lucifer might be the only option left. Dad won't do anything. And my little brother, I could free him with joining.»

Cas widened his eyes as he took a step closer to me.

"What happened to you? You can't say that. Not you or Dean», he said hurt, his blue eyes showing betrayal.

"What else can we do?» I replied quietly.

Suddenly, Cas shoved me roughly against the wall, his eyes gone almost completely dark.

«I rebelled for you! Lost everything I had for this! Everything, because I love you! I have loved you ever since you stood up for that town! And before that, I admired you, for millions of years. For this? So you can give yourself over to them! I believed in you, Jophiel!» he growled, his face barely an inch from mine.

I flinched at him calling me by my angelic name and looked away, not being able to meet his face filled with rage.

«Don't look away from me!» he snarled and used his hand to firmly but not too hurtfully to make me meet his eyes.

«You once told me that this was worth dying for, because it was the right thing.

I'm telling you the same thing. Don't give up», he said before he released me from his grip and walked away.

I staggered slightly as his grip had been the only thing keeping me up. But what else could we do? What other option would we have?

* * *

After Cas had beaten up Dean to a bloody pulp, and Adam had disappeared, we decided that we were going to find the angels' location and save our brother, with the help of Dean. I was really worried that at least one of us would say yes. Me pledging my loyalty to Michael? Sure, no one would at least not jump into my bones. But the last thing I wanted was Dean possessed.

«Where the hell are we?» Dean wondered when Cas and I zapped him and Sam to California, where the beautiful room was located. The last time and place I had been inside there as an angel, had been in Jerusalem, when the Romans had been freaking everywhere.

«Van Nuys, California», I informed.

«Where's the beautiful room?» Dean questioned.

«In there», Cas said and nodded at the old factory near us.

«The beautiful room is in an abandoned muffler factory in Van Nuys, California?» Dean asked surprised and looked at me confused.

I shrugged lightly.

«Where'd you think it was?» Cas asked him.

«I—I don't know. Jupiter? A blade of grass? Not Van Nuys.»

I chuckled slightly amused at Dean's surprised expression.

«If it makes you feel better, it was once in a public bathroom, the time when no one had invented the ones with water.»

Sam rolled his eyes at my comment, but the corners of his mouth went slightly up.

«Tell me again why you don't just grab Adam and shazam the hell out of there», he instead said.

«Because there are at least six angels in there», Cas replied simply.

«So? You're fast», Dean commented.

«They're faster», Cas and I said on the same time while I tried to catch his gaze.

But, either Cas ignored me, or he just didn't see, because he was busy with removing his blue tie.

"I'll clear them out. You three grab the boy. This is our only chance», he informed.

I frowned suspiciously at him.

«Cas, you can't do this alone. I'll go with you», I stated and took out the angel blade.

He turned and looked me in the eyes before Cas sighed and nodded slowly.

«Fine», he replied emotionlessly and began to wrap the tie around his hand.

«Whoa, wait. You're gonna take on six angels? I mean, you're half angel, barely, and you're just, well, one angel», Dean protested.

«Yes», Cas said.

«Isn't that suicide?»

«Maybe it is for me. But then I won't have to watch you fail. I'm sorry, Dean. I don't have the same faith in you two that Sam has», he told.

Cas then slowly took out a box cutter out from his trench coat and pulled the blade up, making me widen my eyes. What the hell was he supposed to do with that thing?

«What the hell are you gonna do with that?» Sam wondered while Cas gave me a grim expression.

A tight feeling began to grow in me as I watched him unbutton the shirt more and more, until it was completely open and was hanging loosely against his chest.

«You're insane. That's never been done before. We don't even know the consequences of this", I exclaimed freaked out while Sam and Dean still didn't got it.

«Okay, angel wiki. What is he going to do, exactly?» Dean questioned and pointed at him and the cutter.

«He's going to use himself as a wall for a banishing sigil», I muttered and shot Cas a 'are you insane' look.

«It's our only chance», Cas responded simply and swiftly cut into his skin to create the banishing sigil.

"I don't like this", I mumbled to him, which he of course ignored.

I looked down slightly upset, before took a deep breath, cleaning myself from anxiousness.

«Okay, let's do this.»

When we first came in, the building looked empty. Of course, it wasn't , or else the angelic power from the smaller house inside wouldn't pour out.

That was it, there was Adam.

Suddenly, two angels attacked from behind, where tried to stab me in the shoulder, but missed. I spun around and kicked him in the gut, which made him stagger. The kick didn't last very long, but enough for me to fly behind him and stab him in the back, right where his heart was.

I backed away from the dead angel toward Cas, looking into the darkness, which revealed four more angels, all wielding a blade.

Don't do anything, wait, I said to myself while we watched the angels like a prey watching its attackers.

Cas turned his head and nodded at me reassuringly. I bit my teeth nervously together as he and I dropped our blades in ''surrender''.

«What are you waiting for? Come on», Cas taunted.

And for some reason, despite his 'warning', they all ran at us with their weapons ready. In that second, that small little second, Cas ripped off his shirt and pressed his palm on the sigil, creating a pure white light which felt like a huge wall coming at me in high speed.

The sigil's power knocked me away, sending me flying in the building while the other angel disappeared, along with Cas.

As I rose up from the ground, my body felt sore, like I had run two miles in a few seconds. I groaned in pain, but waited for Dean to come in.

«Where's Cas?» he wondered and stared at the spot where the two angels laid dead.

I shook my head slowly and pointed the place where we'd been.

«The sigil, it blew him away too», I replied and carefully opened the door, revealing the beautiful room, which looked kind of the same, as it always had looked like.

My eyes searched the room, looking for a certain someone, whom I found lying on the floor, his mouth covered in his own blood.

«Adam», I said and ran to his side, trying to wake him up.

He opened his eyes and looked at both of stunned, like we had been the angels of mercy. Such an irony…

«You came for me», he said breathlessly as Dean and I helped him up.

«Yeah, well, you're family», Dean replied.

«It's a trap», he warned.

I gave him dry smile and said:

«When isn't it a trap?»

«Please. Did you really think it would be that easy?» Zachariah spoke up.

I glared at the younger angel while I could see Sam come behind him. Almost, almost….

«Did you?» Dean replied as Sam came at him with the blade, which Zachariah easily parried and sent him flying into the wall.

«No!» I exclaimed and took a step forward while Dean held on to Adam.

But the seraph being Zachariah, held up a hand and stopped me in the tracks, like compact air.

«You know what I've learned from this experience? Patience», he said calmly and made Adam cough up blood.

«Let him go, you son of a bitch», I growled while still fighting against the invisible wall helplessly.

«I mean, I thought I was downsized for sure. And for us, a firing...pretty damn literal, you definitely know that. But I should have trusted your big brother. It's all playing out like he said...You, me, your hemorrhaging brothers», he said and waved at Sam's direction.

Sam immediately began to spit out blood, something that made my eyes flicker back and forth to my brothers.

I knew the way to save them, but could it be another one too?

«You're finally ready, right? You know there's no other choice. There's never been a choice. You should know it, boss», he said and smirked smugly.

«Stop it. Stop it right now!» Dean demanded and looked at our brothers in panic.

«In exchange for what?»

«Damn it, Zachariah. Stop it, please. I'll do it.»

«I'm sorry. What was that?»

«Okay, yes. The answer is yes» Dean whispered.

Zachariah still didn't look satisfied before he turned his gaze to me, whom had almost slumped down against the invisible wall. If I didn't say yes, then Sam and Adam would die. And they were my brothers, it was my responsibility to protect them. Even if I had to pledge my loyalty to Michael…

"Yes, I say yes", I mumbled defeated

«No!» Sam choked out in horrification.

I met Sam's gaze, and felt my heart break into pieces. My Sammy, my big brother, he'd believed in me, believed in both Dean and I. Meeting his eyes full of betrayal was like stabbing myself. Could I really let Sammy down? After everything we'd been through?

None of us did anything, it was like the time had stopped. The seraph just stared at us smugly while I just wanted to crumble down on the floor and cry.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Call my brother down here and get this over with!" I half shrieked at him frustrated.

«How do I know you're not lying?» Zachariah questioned and glanced at all of us.

«Do I look like I'm lying? Does it look like Dean lies?» I questioned and looked him in the eyes.

With him not answering, I took a step back and began to call on Michael.  
"I am ready, brother", I whispered in Enochian.

Zachariah smiled at us both satisfied before he turned around and began to chant in Enochian too.

 _"Your servant has prepared your Sword."_

I closed my eyes for moment. He would come down and I would stare into my older brother's eyes and find Michael in those green eyes instead of Dean.

The image of Michael in Dean's vessel and the fact that Sam had believed in us, made me realize one thing: I wouldn't do it.

Cas had fallen for this, Bobby had lost his ability to walk, everything would have been vain if I said yes to Michael.

"He's coming», Zachariah said.

«Of course, I have a few conditions», Dean added suddenly.

«What?» Zachariah said confused.

«The few people whose safety you have to guarantee before Dean or I say yes», I continued on his sentence.

I was now really happy over the fact that Dean didn't show any surprise on his face.

«Sure, fine. Make a list», the seraph muttered.

«But most of all… Michael can't have us until he disintegrates you», Dean said, making me smirk.

I watched Dean screwing with Zachariah until he stabbed him in the head, killing him off after a year with him on our asses.

The whole room began to shake violently as Michael began to appear in the room, his voice piercing Sam's ears.

«Sam!» I yelled and helped him up while Adam stood frozen, looking the the white light that was everywhere.

 _"Pledge your loyalty to me, sister. It's time now."_

" _No_ ", I hissed in Enochian while running for the exit.

He and I pushed our way through the door as Dean came behind us, but not Adam.

«Dean!» Adam shouted on the other side while Dean with no luck tried to open the door.

«Hold on! We'll get you out. Just hold on. Adam! Can you hear me?!» he screamed.

I ran to the door and tried to open too, but just like any normal human being, I burned my hand immensely on the doorknob.

But suddenly, the power and light faded and I knew Adam was gone.

«Adam? »

* * *

«You think Adam's okay?» Sam wondered.

«No, not really. And not Cas either. But we'll find them», I promised and looked out through the window.

«So….» Sam began.

«'So' what? » Dean asked confused

«I saw your eyes. You two were totally rockin' the 'yes' back there. So, what changed your minds?»

«Honestly? The damnedest thing. I mean, the world's ending. The walls are coming down on us, and I look over to you and all I can think about is, 'this stupid son of a bitch brought me here.' I just didn't want to let you down», he told.

I smiled slightly and leaned forward.

"Pretty much the same thing, actually", I replied.

«You didn't. You almost did. But you didn't», Sam added and smiled too.

«I owe you an apology», Dean began.

«No, man. No, you don't», Sam protested.

«Just… let me say this. I don't know if it's being a big brother or what, but to me, you've always been this snot-nosed kid that I've had to keep on the straight and narrow. I think we both know that that's not you anymore. I mean, hell, if you're grown-up enough to find faith in me… The both of you, the least I can do is return the favor. So screw destiny, right in the face. I say we take the fight to them, and do it our way», Dean said.

I nodded and felt a new spark of hope light up inside me.

«Sounds good to me.»


	27. Hypocrite

«Holy crap!» I exclaimed as I ran into the lobby before my brothers, who were still taking their bags.

«Nice digs, for once", Dean commented when they entered.

I nodded and eyed the motel relieved, it almost looked norr like a hotel than a motel.

«Busy night», I said to the guy working there.

But it was something that felt weird with this place, something I couldn't put my finger on.

«Any port in a storm, I guess. If you could just fill this out, please», he said and handed me the document.

«Sir, I think... Shaving nick there», the dude named Chad told Dean while he was looking around.

I turned back at him, since when had he shaved? Anyway, Chad pulled up a tissue from nowhere and handed that and the key to us.

«Oh. Thanks. Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a coffee shop, would you?»

«Buffet. All you can eat. Best pie in the tri-state area», he informed and smiled.

I nodded, everything just started to get better and better. Almost too good.

* * *

Pies, corn, cake, hell, they had freaking everything. Which kind of made me suspicious, until I saw the pile of fries and ratatouille. Then everything was fine.

«Heaven, right?» a man told Dean while staring at all the desserts.

«Trust me, pal... better», Dean replied and stole the berry on the top from a pie.

I snorted amused at him while I was taking a glass.

«How you doing?» I could hear Dean say to a woman behind me.

I rolled my eyes but smirked when she said no. Ditched.

«But—»

«No.»

«Oh, lady, I'm just, you know—» Dean began.

«I understand. And no», she replied and eyed him.

It was then I decided I would save my brother from embarrassment. Probably the best for all of us.

«Excuse my brother. He's quite bad at flirting, really. He won't bother you any more", I told and smiled at her.

The woman returned it and glanced at something on the side of me, which would be— my wings. I frowned confused, but dragged Dean away from her.

«Our brother got turned down, if you're wondering, Sam,» I informed and began to eat my delicious French fries.

Even after my little frenzy, I still loved them.

«Sam, unpucker, man. Eat something», Dean told him while Sam was still working on his phone.

«We should hit the road», he said concerned.

«In this storm? I-it's—»

«Biblical?» I said.

«Exactly. I-it's friggin' Noah's ark out there, and we're eating pie», Sam stated.

«How many hours of sleep did you get this week? What? Three? Four? Bobby's got his feelers out, okay? We have talked with every hoodoo man and root woman in 12 states», Dean reminded him.

«Yeah, well, I'm not giving up», Sam protested.

«Nobody's giving up. Especially me. We're gonna find a way to beat the Devil, okay? Soon. I can feel it. And we will find Cas, we'll find Adam. But you are no good to me burnt out», Dean said seriously.

«Yeah. Yeah, okay.»

I stole a piece of Dean's pie before continuing eating my food.

«By the way, Dean, the pie rocks.»

* * *

«Oh my goodness", I groaned lowly as Dean began to snicker while watching a couple make out while the woman was giggling like hell.

«How old are you, dude?»

«I'm young at heart» Dean responded and smirked while opening the door to our room.

Which was awesome. And this time, there were three huge beds too. None of us had had this luxury in years.

«Wow. Look at this. We're like Rockefellers. Chocolates! You want yours?» Dean wondered and held up the chocolates.

«That thing is mine» I smirked and snatched my chocolate from the bed.

«Whoa. 'Casa Erotica 13' on demand», Dean said happily and held up the porno he pretty much loved.

Sam scoffed behind us, like he was unpleased with something.

«Something's wrong?»

«Isn't this place... in the middle of nowhere?»

I wrinkled my forehead thoughtfully while Dean looked at Sam like 'whatever'.

«A bit. Why?»

«So what's a four-star hotel doing on a no-star highway?»

I shrugged and rolled my eyes at Dean, who was grinning over the fact the couple was having sex the room beside ours.

«Really, Dean? You're such a—»

And all of sudden, the wall cracked, which I was very sure that couldn't happen by any natural means.

* * *

We later informed it to Chad, who said that they just had checked out. Which made all of us quite weary of him, and decided to split up to find any strange stuff. I walked around in the corridors, searching for demonic or angelic energy, when I noticed the same woman whom had turned to Dean and a quite handsome man kissing each other passionately outside a room. Had Dean just hit on a woman who was in a relationship? Talking about awkward. Which it became for me, when they noticed me.

«Oh… Uh, eh. Sorry. I-I was just, eh… Sorry», I said and smiled awkwardly, my wings curling up into themselves, something they often did when I felt uncomfortable.

«I'm going now.»

I quickly backed away from them and suddenly felt something sharp, bite into my neck. With my finger touching the bloody cut, I felt that same weird presence again. I hated this shit.

«Found something?» Sam asked Dean and I when we met each other again.

"Nope. By the way, Dean. You hit on a woman who wasn't single», I told.

Dean raised his eyebrows surprised, but dropped it quickly.

«I saw an elephant», he said and looked like he still was stunned over it.

Sam and I stared at him confused.

«Wait, what?» I said with wide eyes.

«An elephant?»

«Yeah», Dean replied.

«Like, an elephant?» Sam began.

«Like, full-on Babar», Dean told.

I frowned at it but dropped my jaw when I was that the lobby was completely empty, not a soul was there.

«Nobody's here. And the door's locked too», I informed and tried to open it.

«So what— the roaches check in, they don't check out?» Dean wondered.

«Think about how we got here. That detour on I-90? The friggin' hurricane?» Sam said to us, making me look around in the lobby.

«So we're led here, with a hundred other people?»

«Like rats in a maze», Sam stated.

I nodded slowly and went away to the kitchen, there was always something off with the kitchen in horror movies.

«Please be tomato soup. Please be tomato soup», Dean pleaded with he stirred in a pot full with dark red liquid.

Slowly, an eye floated up to the surface and sank down again, making me wrinkle my nose.

«That's not tomato soup», I muttered and watched the freezer.

It looked quite empty. At least until the man I had seen back in the buffet slammed his hand on the glass.

«Help us! Get us out!» he screamed in panic while people around him started to yell from the inside.

My hand closed around the lock pick as I tried to pick up the lock, something my telekinesis couldn't fix, sadly.

«Hurry up!» Sam and Dean yelled at me.

«I'm trying to do it… Shit», I swore and glanced at the three men behind them.

«There's somebody behind us, isn't there?» Dean stated.

I nodded before the two first grabbed my brothers while the third grabbed me arms with more strength than a man should or could have. They began to forcefully drag us to a big room with people (some having monstrous forms flickering over them) in name tags. As I read some of them, my heart sank down in my chest. Kali, Baldur, Odin, and a lot freaking more. Crap, crap and more crap. And guess what? Pagans did not like angels. At all.

«Something tells me this isn't a Shriner convention», Dean muttered as 'Chad' who actually was Mercury rolled in with a big cart and plate.

«Dinner is served», he said and lifted away the cover, which revealed the meat and head of a human lying on the plate.

Pagans applauded pleased as a unknown light hit me and my brothers like a spotlight.

«Ladies and Gentleman, our guests of honor have arrived», the man in suit who was Baldur presented us.

We were screwed.

* * *

After a while, Baldur began to clink his fork on the champagne glass, getting everyone's attention.

«Ladies and gentleman, thank you for coming. Although in all my centuries, I never thought I'd see this. This many gods under one roof—»

«Gods?» Sam whispered confused.

«Pagans», I replied and watched them with surprise.

As an angel, I hadn't met the pagans a lot, and definitely wasn't used with their kind of power radiating from them.

«Now, before we get down to brass tacks, some ground rules. No slaughtering each other. Curb your wrath. Oh, and uh, keep your hands off the local virgins. We're, trying to keep a low profile here. Now we all know why we're here. The Judeo-Christian apocalypse looms over us. I know we've all had our little disagreements in the past. The time has come to put those aside and look toward the future. Because if we don't, we won't have one. Now we do have three very valuable bargaining chips. Michael, and Lucifer's vessels, and the very Archangel herself, Jophiel in human form. The question is, what do we do now? Anybody have any bright ideas? Speak up. This is a safe room», Baldur told them calmly.

The Chinese god rose and glared at us.

«What do we do? We kill them! Rip off the thing's wings!» he almost yelled in Chinese.

Because of me getting my memories back, I could understand any human language. And animals'.

«Oh, I don't like his tone», Dean muttered while I stared at the pagan horrified.

«You shouldn't», was my only reply.

«Kill 'em? What, so the angels can bring them back again?» the god Ganesh said and laughed unamused.

«I don't know what everybody's getting so worked up about! 'Cause it's just a couple of angels having a slap fight! There's no Armageddon. Everybody knows, when the world comes to an end, the Great Serpent Jormungandr rises up, and I myself will be eaten by a big wolf!» Odin told and laughed, directing some of that laughter towards me.

I rolled my eyes at him calling Armageddon for an angel slap fight. Because it was kind of like that, except that we'd more of family issues than just a slap fight.

«Here we go…» Zao Shen muttered.

«Oh yeah? And why is that? Because your beliefs are so much more realistic? The whole world's getting carried around on the back of a giant turtle? Ha! Give me a break!» Odin replied.

«Don't mock my world turtle», Zao Shen said insulted.

I was pretty sure that the world had been carried around in a century or two by one. Until something happened with it. I was pretty sure it had been one of my brothers.

«What are you gonna do about it?» Odin threatened and rose, only to be stopped by some other pagans.

«I'm gonna send you packing to Valhalla!»

«You watch your mouth when you talk to me, boy!»

«Boy? I'm older than you!»

«No one's ever proved that!»

I rolled my eyes but silently, along with Sam and Dean, began to slowly leave the room, when a chandelier fell just in front of us.

«Stay», Kali ordered and rose.

«We have to fight. The Archangels— the only thing they understand is violence. This ends in blood. There is no other way, it's them, or us», she said clearly.

I looked at her with an offended look. I sure as hell did know a lot of other things besides violence. And I definitely didn't wanted it to end in blood.

«With all due respect, ma'am, we haven't even tried talking to them», Mercury protested.

Kali glared at him amused. The second her eyes laid on him, the Roman god began to choke on his blood. Pagans, I swear, always trying to kill each other, I thought as Mercury looked like he was about to die.

«Kali!» Baldur said and stopped her immediately.

«Who asked you?» she replied bitch-ly to Mercury.

The door burst open and a very familiar person came in— my brother.

«Can't we all just get along!» Gabriel exclaimed.

As Sam tried to say his name, he cut him off by making him choke on the word. Right, witness protection whatever.

«Sam! Dean… Abby. It's always wrong place, worst time with you muttonheads, huh?» he said and smirked at me, making me roll my eyes.

«Loki», Baldur greeted Gabriel annoyed.

Wait, so he was Loki? The whole freaking time? Could explain a lot of things, though, like the Trickster title.

«Baldur. Good seeing you too. I guess my invitation got lost in the mail", he joked.

«Why are you here?» he asked him coldly.

«To talk about the elephant in the room— Not you», Gabriel added to Ganesh, who was rising from his chair, while looking pissed off.

«The Apocalypse. We can't stop it, gang. But first things first. The adults need to have a little conversation. Check you later», Gabriel said and winked.

I lifted my eyebrow offended.

«Adults? I'm older than you, you little shi—» I exclaimed, before we were back in the room.

«By the way, he's older than me», I added.

«Okay, good to know. But did that— Holy crap!» Dean stuttered.

«Yeah, tell me about it. By the way, next time I say let's keep driving, uh, let's keep driving», Sam suggested, making me roll my eyes.

«Next time», I echoed.

«Anyway, so what's our next move?»

«I-I-I... I don't know. Grab those poor saps outta the freezer, I guess? Bust 'em out? Gank a few freaks along the way if we're lucky?»

«And when are you ever lucky?» Gabriel questioned, sitting in the couch.

«Well you know what, bite me, Gabriel» Dean snapped.

«Maybe later, big boy» Gabriel replied, earning a disgusted look from me.

He was my brother, and he was my brother too. Wasn't that incest? At least for me. But, on the other hand, Cas and I were technically related so… I shouldn't think much about that.

«I should've known. I mean this had your stink all over it from the jump», Dean stated.

«You think I'm behind this? Please. I'm the Costner to your Houston. I'm here to save your ass», Gabriel admitted.

«You wanna pull us outta the fire?» Dean asked confused.

«Bingo! Those guys are either gonna dust you, or use you as bait. Either way, you're uber boned», Gabriel said.

«Wow, 'cause a couple of months ago you were telling us that we need to "play our roles". You're uber boning us!»

I nodded in agreement.

«He's got a point there, Gabe», I remarked.

Gabriel snorted annoyed.

«Ohh... The end is still nigh. Michael, you and Lucifer are gonna dance the lambada, but not tonight. Not here», he said.

I shook my head.

«I'm not», I protested.

«That's what you think, sis», he replied.

I shot him a glare but did say anything. He hadn't been there in the beautiful room, he wouldn't be able to know.

«And why do you care?» Dean questioned.

«I don't care. But, me and Kali we, uh, had a thing. Chick was all hands. What can I say? I'm sentimental», Gabriel defended himself.

I wrinkled my nose and gagged by the thought of my brother and Kali doing the nasty.

«Do they have a chance? Against Satan?» Sam demanded.

«Really, Sam?» Dean said incredulously.

«You got a better idea, Dean?»

I widened my eyes and shook my head hardly.

«No way. It's an extremely bad idea. Lucifer's going mush them into goo», I told them.

« So let's get going while the going's good, hmm? » Gabriel suggested.

«Okay. Great, why don't you just zap us outta here then? Or why hasn't Abster tried to fly away?» Dean wondered.

I frowned at my stupidity and tried to fly. But my wings didn't work, they were kind of useless, like those fluffy wings you saw on baby angels.

«Don't even try, Abster, you're just gonna exhaust yourself for nothing. Kali's got you by the short and curlies», he said, making me groan in annoyance.

Great, the blood, I was such an idiot for an angel. Sam and Dean looked at me puzzled while I groaned at how my wings couldn't do anything but look pretty.

«It's a blood spell. You guys are on a leash», Gabriel added for the boys' sake.

«What does that mean?» Dean asked.

«It means it's time for a bit of the old black magic», he replied and used a breath spray.

I rolled my eyes and then remembered the people in the fridge. We couldn't just leave them there.

«We can't forget the main course, either», I added.

«Forget it. It's gonna be hard enough sneaking you mooks outta here», Gabriel stated.

«Well, I can fly!»

«With dozens people. Please.»

«Seriously, Gabe, you're such a di—»

«They called you Loki, right? Which means they don't really know who you are?» Dean interrupted.

«Told you. I'm in witness protection», Gabriel told.

«Okay, well then how about you do what we say, or we tell the, uh, legion of doom about your secret identity. They don't seem like a real pro-angel kinda crowd», Dean suggested.

«I'll take your voices away» Gabriel threatened.

«We'll write it down.»

«I'll cut off your hands.»

«No, you won't!»

«Well then, people are gonna be asking, 'Why are you guys running around with no hands?'» Dean said and smirked.

Gabriel glared at us all annoyed but defeated.

«Fine.»

* * *

The plan was to get to the kitchen without getting seen. Which worked. After watching a guy lose his head. Sam then tried to pick up the lock as Zao Shen threw me and Dean away from him before starting to choke Sam.

«Give me that!» I said and pointed at the stake.

Dean nodded and threw it to me, who ran for all that's worth to the pagan, and stabbed him in the back. Zao Shen lost his grip of Sam as he slumped down on the floor while being stone dead.

«Where the hell is Gabriel?» Dean demanded.

He couldn't say more than that, because some other pagans came and dragged us back to the ballroom, where Gabriel sat on a chair while the other gods eyed him in shock. What the hell had happened?

«How long have you known? » Gabriel questioned.

 _That_ happened.

«Long enough», was her reply.

«How's the rescue going?» Dean said sarcastically after they'd put us in chairs.

«Well, surprise, surprise. The Trickster has tricked us», Kali announced to the others.

«Kali, don't», Gabriel begged her.

«You're mine now. And you have something I want», she said and sat down in his lap before digging in his jacket, revealing his Archangel blade.

«An Archangel's blade. From the Archangel… Gabriel», she said, her voice breaking slightly.

There was silence, glares or shocked looks at Gabriel. Talk about uncomfortable.

«Okay, okay! So I got wings, like Kotex», Gabriel admitted, making me look at him in bafflement.

Had he just compared us with pads? Wow.

«But that doesn't make me any less right about Lucifer » Gabriel stated.

«He's lying. He's a spy. »

«I'm not a spy.»

«He's not a spy.»

«I'm a runaway.»

«He's a runaway.»

«I'm trying to save you.»

«He's trying to save you.»

«Lucifer will kill you and turn you into snot if you ever try to do anything», I finished.

«We know our brother, Kali. He should scare the living crap out of you. You can't beat him. I've skipped ahead, seen how this story ends—»

«Your story. Not ours. Westerners, I swear. The sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on earth? You pillage and you butcher in your God's name. But you're not the only religion, and he's not the only God. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong. There are billions of us. An we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world, it's me. I'm sorry», she whispered before she stabbed him.

There was white light, screaming, then he was dead. Every nerve in my body froze at once. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything. My big brother was dead because of that puny little thing who called herself a god.

Oh, I just wanted to rip that pagan in half.

"MONSTER!" I roared and threw myself at her while trying to hit, kick or bite her everywhere.

"AND YOU WONDER WHY ANGELS DON'T LIKE YOU! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, I'M GOING TO RIP YOU APART, PIECE BY PIECE!"

"Abby, stop!" Sam yelled at me before he grabbed me firmly and tried to get me off her, making me glare at him furiously.

"She killed my brother", I hissed and pulled him off me with ease before suddenly four pagans attacked me and hauled me up on my feet with a iron grip on me, making me only be able to glare at the monster that called herself goddess.

And all of sudden, Dean rose up.

«All right you primitive screwheads, listen up», he began, making Sam look at him like he was crazy.

«Are you crazy?» he hissed.

«I'm outta options. Now on any other given day, I'd be doing my damnedest to, uh, kill you. You filthy murdering chimps. But, uh, hey, desperate times. So even though I'd love nothing better than to slit your throats, you dicks, I'm gonna help you. I'm going to help you ice the Devil. And then we can all get back to ganking each other, like normal. You want Lucifer, well, dude's not in the Yellow Pages. But me, Abster and Sam, we can get him here», he explained and made himself a glass.

«How?» she asked him interested.

«First you let those main courses go. Then we talk. We can either take on the devil together, or you lame-ass bitches can eat me. Literally», he said and took a sip.

«Fine.»

As Dean and some pagan went away to the kitchen to release the people, I looked around ragingly at the rest of them as the pagans let me go, but I didn't attack Kali. No, Lucifer would get to kill her, I was going to watch him up off her head and I was gonna laugh as he did it. They had killed Gabriel, they deserve to be ripped in half by Lucifer. I eyed a small knife lying on the table and began to lift it up with my telekinesis, aiming it for Kali's head, when she turned and walked to us, with Baldur on her side. Even if they weren't stronger than an Archangel, I wasn't fully one, I would prefer to keep my head connected to my neck, so I let the knife drop down on the table again.

«So you're going to summon Lucifer», she stated and referred that to Sam, who looked uncomfortable.

«Sort of. I just need you to squeegee some stuff from my ribs and he'll come running», he explained.

«Breaking then would be easier», she suggested.

«We're not gonna break my brother's ribs. You wanna break some ribs? Break mine instead. It's not like you have something against hurting Archangels anyway», I said hotly and threw her the darkest look I could manage.

Kali looked away while balling her hand into a fist. For a second, I thought she'd punch me. Which she didn't. Suddenly, the door opened and Dean stepped inside.

«Show's over. Sword's a fake, and Gabriel, he's still kicking. I hate to break it to you, sister, but you've been tricked», he told.

I widened my eyes shocked but could feel the tight knot in my stomach loosen up and Baldur or Kali could reply, lights started to flicker, screams were heard, and a tsunami of celestial power hit me in the face, again.

«What's happening?» Baldur questioned.

«It's him», Sam and I said on the same time.

«It's my brother.»

«How?» Kali demanded.

«Does it matter? Shazzam us outta here, would ya?» Dean suggested.

«We can't», Baldur told.

I glanced at the opening and saw Lucifer stand there, covered in the blood of the pagans.

«Of course you can't. You didn't say 'mother, may I?' Jophiel, Sam, Dean, good to see you again», he greeted us while the Norse god was trembling with rage.

«Baldur, don't», Kali warned him.

«You think you own the planet? What gives you the right?» he growled and almost ran at him.

Lucifer looked at him bored, before he shoved his hand into his chest, which came out through his back.

«No one gives us the right, we take it», he whispered and ripped it out, leaving Baldur dead on the floor.

Anger and sadness flickered in Kali's eyes as her arms began to burn before she lashed it on him. Sam, Dean and I, preferring to not have our faces burned off, jumped over the table and hid behind it as the flames hit in our direction. There was a sound of pain and skin against fist, and then a thump.

«You okay?» Sam asked us.

«Not really», Gabriel— who had popped in— said beside us, and he shoved a DVD into Dean's hands.

«Guard this with your life», he said sternly before turned away and went toward the goddess and the angel.

There was a new sound, the sound of crashing and groaning. We all looked up and found Lucifer lying on the floor, groaning in slight pain or just surprise. And of course, Gabriel, standing in front of Kali.

«Lucy, I'm home», he said.

Lucifer looked at him stunned and took a step forward, looking like he was about to hug him.

«Not this time», Gabriel mumbled as he helped Kali up, his eyes never leaving Lucifer.

«Guys! Get her outta here», he ordered us.

I rose up and went to push her away gently from them, while worrying over my brother.

«Gabriel—» I began.

«Go, Jophiel. This isn't your fight, not now», he said softly.

I nodded reluctantly but followed my brothers and Kali to the car, who looked at it in disdain.

«I'm not getting in that thing», she snorted.

«Just get in the car, princess», Dean snapped while I got inside.

The trip from the motel was quite awkward, which gave me time to think. If Gabriel had killed Lucifer, we'd have known it by know. If he hadn't, then he probably was… A sob came out while a tear rolled down my cheek.

«Abby, you're okay?» Dean asked concerned.

«It's Gabriel. I think… I think he's dead», I whispered and wiped away the tears.

Raw agony clawed in my chest like a knife, over and over again, every second hurting more than the one before, the feeling never stopping. My body felt like it was burning up and freezing to the lowest point. Beside me, I could see in the blurry corners of my eyes, Kali was weeping quietly. The only thing we'd in common: We loved Gabriel.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep after awhile, because I didn't sit in the car anymore. Instead, I was surrounded by trees and plants from every corner of the world. And some didn't even exist on Earth, only Heaven. Could it be… The Garden?

«Jophiel», a voice called.

I turned around and found Lucifer stand behind me, but this time with no damages on his vessel. A big lump began to grow in my throat.

«Lucifer. Gabriel? Is he…?» I began and choked on the last word.

A painful look and a tear worked itself up in my brother's face as he looked away.

I bit my lip and tasted blood as I tried to prevent myself from sobbing. But the tears fell freely from my eyes, running like rivers and then falling like raindrops down to the ground. But it wasn't only the raging agony I felt in my chest. No, it was more than that. A burning sensation, making me see red as I looked at my brother. He'd had killed Gabriel… Our brother.

"HOW COULD YOU?" I screamed and lunged at him.

But before I could claw his eyes out or worse for what he'd done to Gabriel, he got me on the ground, my arms pinned down towards the crusty dirt.

"Jophiel—" he began slowly.

"HE WAS OUR BROTHER, YOU MONSTER! AND YOU KILLED HIM! YOU SICK, CRUEL—"

"You shouldn't say anything!" Lucifer yelled at me angrily, his eyes glowing like fire.

"If you haven't forgotten, both of you, Michael and you have tried to kill me since I was freed! What a hypocrite you are, sister!"

Hypocrite.

The second he called me that, I froze under his grip. That's what Michael had called me and what I believed Raphael would say to me too if he had the chance. I was a hypocrite, I already knew that. But hearing Lucifer say it, hurt a lot.

"I know."

"I know I am a hypocrite, don't worry, our dear big brother has already told me that", I muttered bitterly.

Lucifer widened his eyes surprised and let go of me, which made me able to roll away from him and stand up.

"When did you meet Michael?" he asked.

"A couple of months ago. It doesn't matter, since I know none of you will stop this. And believe me, I don't want any of you dead. I've lost too much already… But I can't let Earth get destroyed because you, either", I added.

"Why do you have to do it?"

Lucifer sighed and took a step closer, his face much softer than it had been some seconds ago. Same with me, I had gotten out all that fire, but that dark feeling inside me lingered, accompanied with the rest of the darkness from my bitterness and grief.

"You know why, sister. The humans, it's their fault everything happened. Because of them, I fell, Father left, his last perfect creation getting polluted. Everything, because of those scums. If I erase them, the world will be pure from its former virus. Isn't that what anyone would want? Having a peaceful world?"

I shook my head sadly. He really couldn't see it, the beauty of humanity.

«Not the way you see it, Lucifer. Even if humans have done many things wrong, they still have done a lot of good. And that's why I fight for them. I told you before, they forgive, unlike us."

Lucifer raised his eyebrow confused before I took a step closer and cupped my hand around his face, watching him wistfully. I wished I could erase it all, his Fall, the Revelation, all the deaths, everything. But most of all, I wanted to get rid of that lingering darkness in me.

"I'm sorry, my brother. I'm sorry for everything."

* * *

«Abby, you okay?» Sam asked me as I opened my slightly stingy eyes.

I rubbed them slightly, before opening them completely. It was around noon, it seemed like.

«Yeah, I'm good», I lied and yawned.

«Why're you asking?»

Dean looked at me skeptically.

«Abster, your eyes are puffy, and you kept muttering Lucifer and your other bros in your sleep. I'm pretty sure it wasn't something 'good', then», he said.

«Spit it out.»

I huffed while pulling my hair up in a ponytail, staring at my brothers tiredly.

«It was Lucifer. He visited my dream. And… he told that Gabriel, he's… He killed him » I said and felt my tears rise up again, but I quickly forced them down.

«We then fought about some, uh, family stuff. You know, the Apocalypse. I then woke up», I told them.

«Anyway, what are we going to do now?»

«Yeah, well… We could start with watching your bro's DVD he left. It is a good one, after all», Dean said and chuckled.

I smiled a little at that.

"I hope that, that's what he'd have wanted, too."

The porno began with some text about everyone was 18 or older, just like any porno.

After the title card, a girl in just underwear and high heels lied on the bed, looking in some paper while there was some monologue. And then, a man knocked on the door, saying something about room service.

«Come in!»

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. Any second, the dude would come in and they would fuck each other, maybe with a few toys. Got to say, my brother had… Had had a very weird taste of movies, according to me.

«Gabriel wanted you to guard this with your life?» Sam questioned incredulously.

«Maybe he's a fan», Dean replied and shrugged, when the door in the porno opened.

Instead of some stranger in mustache, Gabriel with a mustache came in with a plate. Took a really weird turn here.

«I've got the kielbasa you ordered», he told her with an accent.

«Ooh. Polish?»

«Hungarian», he replied and tossed the plate away… only to kiss the woman extremely erotically, which disturbed me a lot.

Dead or not, you really didn't want to see a sex tape with your brother in it.

«I'm gonna puke», I said disgusted while trying to keep watching.

Gabriel suddenly turned and looked at us, like he was breaking the fourth wall.

«Sam, Dean, Abigail. You're probably wondering what the hell is going on, and Abby is probably sick right now», he said and removed the mustache.

«Well, if you're watching this, I'm dead. Oh please! Stop sobbing, it's embarrassing for all of us», he said, making me smile sadly.

«Without me, you've got kind of zero shot at killing Lucifer. Sorry! But, can trap him», he informed, making us look at each other in surprise and shock.

«The Cage you sprung Lucifer from? It's still down there. And maybe, just maybe, you can shove his ass back in. Not that it'll be easy. You gotta get the Cage open, trick our bro back into it. And uh, oh yeah, avoid Michael and the God Squad. But hey, details, right? And here's the big secret, Lucifer himself doesn't even know— the key to the Cage? It's out there. Actually it's keys, plural. Four keys, well, four rings. From the Horsemen. You get 'em all, you got the Cage.»

I widened my eyes and stared at the screen, since when had he known about this? I hadn't known a shit about the keys to the Cage, and even less that they were the rings of the Horsemen.

«Can't say I'm betting on you guys. But, uh, hey! I've been wrong before. Abby, I love you, sis. Find your lover boy and kick our bros' asses for me, okay?» he said and smirked, making me smile at the computer.

I really would miss him, a lot.

«And Dean, you were right. I was afraid to stand up to my brother, not any more. So this is me, standing up», he said and rose, while the woman began to take off her bra, behind him, of course.

«And this is, me, lying down», he said and winked, before he grabbed her and pushed her into the bed.

It was then I got scarred mentally for the rest of my life.

«Please, just turn it off!» I exclaimed in terror as Gabriel removed his underwear.

«My eyes!»

When Sam and Dean just stared at my brother and the woman doing the nasty, I closed the computer hastily.

After watching some of the act, I felt extremely sick and just wanted to erase that from my head.

«Horsemen, huh? Well we got War's. We nicked Famine's. That's two down. Collect all four? All we need is Pestilence and Death», Dean announced, making me roll my eyes slightly.

«Yeah, that's all», I said and rolled my eyes again.

«It's a plan», Dean reminded me.

I nodded and climbed into the car. So, one way or another, I would meet my brothers again.

 **A/N: Sorry for the previous chapter being messy and just bad written by a messed up author (me.) I hope you like this chapter (or at least that it's better written than the first one)**


	28. Lost

Five angels appeared around us, each of them holding an angel blade. I widened my eyes as Dean hit the break, almost hitting one of them. Not that it would do any good, they would just get pissed.

«I thought they couldn't find us», Sam stated and looked around our surroundings.

«Probably some human gossiper told them», I said and stepped out of the car, carrying a blade in my sleeve.

«Abby, the hell are you doing?» Dean hissed.

«Giving you the chance to flee. Go, and find them!» I said and glanced at the awaiting angels.

Sam and Dean nodded reluctantly, but did as I asked and drove away. I slowly stepped forward and faced the others calmly.

«So, you're here to take me to my brother, am I right?» I questioned and scanned them with my eyes.

There were a few I hadn't seen before, and some were slightly familiar. But there was one I could fully recognize: Raziel. But it was someone else whom stepped forward.

«Michael is asking you to come with him, for that is what is right», she said.

I snorted at what she'd said. I, of course, wouldn't. Not with the knowledge about the keys, or the Horsemen. We wouldn't need Michael to stop the Apocalypse anymore.

«Right. Well, tell my brother that I won't give out my services for him», I replied.

«He knew you would say that. And he told us if you were unwilling to come, we'd have to force you», the angel said.

I laughed at her words, because they were pointless.

"Fine. But then you've to bring my dead body to him, and I'm quite sure he wouldn't want that."

"But you don't need a vessel to pledge your allegiance to him. Just your words», another one reminded me, looking like an ophanim.

"Well then, at least I won't back down without a fight", I responded and dropped the blade into my hand while standing in position, ready to attack or defend.

I could feel my wings were outspread to its maximum while everything around me got a sharper look, like through a lens. But the angels didn't back away by my challenge. Instead, all of them went toward me, all at once. I swung the blade and parried one blow, while almost getting hit by another and kicked another in the gut with as much strength I could use. As the angel hit my arm, I grabbed her wrist and yanked her down on the ground. I turned to her and stabbed her right below an organ, enough to weak her for a long time, but not to kill. Another killed sibling was the last I wanted if it wasn't necessary. The angel I knew as Sandalphon, slashed at my neck, but hit my cheekbone instead, before she got an angel's blade in her stomach as Nakir attacked and I dodged. She cried out in pain and got a hit on her kidney and fell down on the ground too. The ophanim angel threw a punch right below my lungs, making me lose air. As I choked for oxygen, Nakir swiped his feet below mine, making me fall and lose more air when the back of my head hit the ground. Blood was oozing out from my wounds and head, while I was gasping for air, I looked into Nakir's eyes as he prepared for the fatal blow. As the blade went in motion, I closed my eyes, only to see dying Grace through my eyelids.

«Traitor!» the ophanim angel shouted at someone before I opened them.

I hadn't seen wrong. Nakir was dead beside me, while Raziel stared at our fallen brother in shock, like he couldn't believe it had been him who'd killed him. In a second, I rose and grabbed the blade while watching the ophanim quietly. The angel stared at Raziel with eyes cold as ice, before he flew away, perhaps to get some others.

«We have to go», Raziel said.

I stared at him, still quite stunned that he'd killed an angel, and disobeyed. Raziel had never disobeyed, never done something that was against the orders.

«I know where», I replied after a silent moment.

«Follow me.»

Before I could fly away, he grabbed my hand gently, making me interrupt the flying and stare at him confused.

«What?» I questioned.

«Your ribs. I cannot find you, if you won't help me», he explained.

Oh right, Cas and the sigils.

«Hold my hand, and let me guide», I said and zapped to the Campbell's house.

The place itself wasn't angels proofed, but with some chalk and sigils, they wouldn't find him.

I went around the house and found some pencils to draw the sigils, while Raziel stood where he stood, frozen, paralyzed.

«That's about it. I put sigils on the house, drawn a few banishing ones, things you should avoid. I'm quite sure they won't find us now, I hope», I told him and threw myself on the dusty couch.

The place really hadn't been used since we'd been there, and that had been 1978. I waved with my hand as I used a bit of my mojo to try to get rid of some of the dust, since we were going to be in there for awhile. Raziel still stood where he stood, unaffected by my ''cleaning'', while still looking slightly terrified.

«You okay?» I asked, which I later cursed myself for.

Of course he wasn't okay, he'd just killed an angel. Raziel just stared at me, unable to answer, because he probably wasn't used with expressing his emotions after billions of years.

«I don't know», he just said, still looking horrified.

«You know what? Sit down on the couch», I told him gently.

As the good soldier he was, Raziel moved to the couch and sat down, straight as a stick. I sighed, he was so much tenser and angel-y than Cas had been. Perhaps Cas had been watching humans longer than him.

«Why? » I questioned.

« Why did you rebel?»

Raziel turned and looked at me thoughtfully, like he had trouble himself figuring out why he did what he did.

«It was something in my chest, something that told me it wasn't right. And I can feel this terrible thing in me, reminding me of when I brought you to the Dungeons. I have heard humans feel like this sometimes, but not angels. Is it something wrong with me, Jophiel?» he wondered.

I shook my head. Angels having emotions wasn't really weird, not at all. All of us, Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel and me, we all had, or still expressed emotion. It wasn't like angels didn't have any, it was more like you were suppressing it from the rest of the angels, emotions and sympathy were for the weak, according to them. Another thing that Heaven should change.

«It's nothing wrong with you, Raziel. Emotions are normal, for angels too. That's just something everyone has, even Michael and Raphael feel things, they just… don't show it that much», I explained and became sad.

What had happened with my family for the last millennia?

I could see that Raziel was about to reply, when voices began to echo in my head, in Enochian.

 _«Raziel has rebelled. And Jophiel is gone. We need to find them, immediately.»_

I widened my eyes in surprise as the angels continued to babble. The angel radio? It worked again? Nice.

«They can't find us. Not now, not here», I informed and glanced at the sigils.

«I know», Raziel replied.

We're silent after that, just sitting there uncomfortably. At least we did, until my phone began to ring.

«Dean», I greeted after I had picked the phone up.

«Abster, you okay? Not kidnapped, or something?» he wondered and sounded slightly worried.

«No, I'm fine. Kind of. Almost got killed by an angel, but got saved by another one», I told and glanced at the Raziel, whom seemed to listen at our conversation.

«Cas? Did you find Cas?» Sam asked baffled.

«No. Raziel. You know, the tall one», I informed.

«The Australian angel? That dude?»

Raziel looked at me confused as I smiled sheepishly at him. I had described Raziel to them while I hadn't known anything about my life as Jophiel , which had made me describe him as an angel with Australian accent.

«Yeah. We're kind of hiding right now. Anyway, have you two found anything? Anything about Pestilence?» I questioned.

«…We've got some help», Sam began slowly.

«Please, Moose. The best you could do for me is to give me some credit», some guy with British accent complained in the background.

In confusion, I wrinkled my forehead, until I realized who it was: Crowley. And why was Crowley with them? After everything?

«Crowley? Crowley is there with you?» I demanded.

Even if I couldn't see them in real life, I knew my brothers were looking at each other horrified. Something that amused me a bit.

«He came to us. Not the opposite. But we're getting closer», Dean said, like he was trying to calm me down.

«Dean, I'm not pissed for you working with Crowley. Just… be careful. He's a demon, after all.»

«Don't be so rude, wings», Crowley called, making me roll my eyes.

«I'll think about it next time, Crowrey», I said and smirked.

«Really? Thought angels could better», he dared.

I raised my eyebrow in challenge as Raziel began to look slightly worried.

«It's okay, Raziel. A demon is just hurting my honor», I joked, something he didn't seemed to like.

«Where is that thing? Let me take care of him, for ever hurting you», he said gravelly, something that made me widen my eyes confused.

«You say that, other wing guy. You really know how to make my thingies tingle», Crowley said and snorted.

«Uh… I think we should hang up, before they begin to strangle each other over the phone», Sam suggested, making me nod in agreement.

«Yeah. I'll call you when I can. I just need to help an angel how to survive», I said and hung up.

The angel watched me confused while I put the cellphone in my jeans pocket and stretched my body tiredly.

«What are you doing?» he asked me.

I spread my wings to the fullest and then let them fall down loosely on each side of me, like three pairs of dark big blankets with stars.

«I'm feeling tired, Raziel. It's a human thing, we need sleep», I explained to him and shifted so I laid on the sofa instead of sitting on it.

Luckily, it was quite big, so I didn't have to rest my feet on Raziel. And slowly, I drifted off into sleep. It would be one thing I'd later miss with being human, sleeping.

* * *

«You two, stop visit my dreams, for goodness' sake!» I exclaimed annoyed and glared at the burning wings flapping, before a boy appeared with them on his back.

But it wasn't just any guy, it was:

«Adam», I whispered stunned and stared at the winged boy, his eyes showing the angel's real age.

"You took him as your vessel, I see", I said and eyed Michael thoughtfully.

"There was no other option, since your other brother refused, even though he knows it's the only way", he stated.

"Michael, I know your choice of vessels is low, don't even get me started on that. What I want to know is why everyone's visiting my dreams. Seriously, first Lucifer, then you. What's next? Raphael? Dad?" I said sarcastically.

Michael snorted at my comment while smirking slightly.

"Very funny. Don't you remember? The sigils on your ribs, you're aware that they prevent me, or any angel from finding you. So the only way in contacting you, is through your dreams", he told, something I already knew.

"I mean, why are you even trying to convince me? You know I won't, and you'll have to kill me, which you can do, because I can say 'yes' anyway. So why even waste mojo on this?"

His wings flapped in annoyance as I raised my eyebrow. Seriously, what'd he say as a response now?

"I still don't want you to be hurt. You're still my sister", he said.

"You could have told that to Zachariah before he gave me to Thaddeus", I mumbled hurt.

But I had done the same thing to Gadreel…

"What do you want me to do? I can let Raziel and Castiel come back without any consequences, I can let Gadreel go free from his punishment. Just say what you want, and a yes, and I will do as you ask. And we can be together, as a family."

I crossed my arms and shot him a dead serious look. Having Cas, Gadreel and Raziel safe was something that I really wanted, but I still remembered Cas' look after I had told him about perhaps joining Michael. He'd never forgive me if I said 'yes'.

"No. Because I won't fight. And right now, I'd like wake up", I stated and closed my eyes, and found myself back in the couch, where Raziel still sat where he'd sat the last hours.

"Have you been there the whole time, without doing a thing?" I questioned.

The angel nodded slowly as I rose out from the sofa and stretched out my body with small yawn.

"All right, let's start with how to survive: one important thing to know if you going to blend in along the humans, is that you don't say anything about the supernatural. Not at all. Don't say you're an angel, or that the Apocalypse looms over us. Nada", I began.

"Another good thing might be that you use hex bags or anything else to hide from Heaven. Perhaps not now, but if Lucifer gets defeated, you and Cas will be the most wanted in Creation. You should also keep a cellphone with you, if calling me, Cas or my brothers will be necessary", I added and waved with my cellphone. Raziel received it from me, and examined it thoughtfully. He probably did understand physically how it worked, but not the calling or texting part, not if I knew him right, or any angel for that part.

"I believe I do understand, but where can I find one?" he wondered.

"In an electronic store.", I explained and smirked slightly amused, while Raziel stared at me confused.

* * *

"I don't understand, why do I have to hand over this piece of paper, instead of money?" Raziel asked the chauffeur, who stared at him as he'd gone mad.

"That's how it is here. Now go further, there're others who want to go on, too", she muttered and snatched the ticket from the poor angel.

"Sorry, ma'am. He's… He's not used to taking the bus", I explained and smiled apologetically.

"Sure, sure. Get in too, sweetheart."

I nodded and quickly went to Raziel's side, where he stared at the seats thoughtfully.

"Which one should we take? Is there some kind of placing system here?" he questioned.

I shook my head and gently but firmly dragged him to a pair of seats, where he carefully sat down, while I almost fell down in the seat, my feet tired after walking half an hour.

"Why won't we just fly to the store, Jophiel? We're both angels and have wings", he said, too loudly.

Some people coughed loudly before glancing at us strangely, before returning to whatever they'd done before hearing Raziel.

"Rule number one: Don't mention the word 'angel' or anything supernatural in front of unaware humans", I said lowly to him and waved awkwardly to a little redheaded girl, who watched us with interest.

"Are you angels?" she asked us curiously.

Raziel was about to reply, when I quickly silenced him with a stare.

"No, sweetie. But this man here is so nice, I sometimes believe he is one", I told her and smiled kindly.

She widened her eyes and began to beam.

"Are you two married?"

I almost began to choke on the air in shock. Raziel and I? Married? Dear goodness, no.

"Do you mean if she and I are mates? Then no. She and I share a long history, but not as partners", he explained to her, which sounded extremely weird.

Who said mates anymore?

"We're siblings", I added and tried to not think about the fact that Cas technically was my brother, too.

But such things were so so much looser in Heaven than on Earth, perhaps because we weren't really related in the same ways as humans were, we just shared the same creator. Dating my Winchester brothers, or my closest celestial siblings, ugh. The girl tilted her head.

"Really? You don't look like you're siblings", she stated.

"Our mom was blonde and our dad was brown haired", I told her.

"Why did you say 'was'?" she asked me.

Shit, I hadn't exactly thought about me saying 'was'. Both John and Mary had been dead for years.

"They're… They're in Heaven together", I said, and really hoped that I wasn't lying. That they really were in Heaven, and not somewhere else. Like Hell.

"Do you miss them?"

I nodded sadly.

"Yeah, every day. Hey, uh, what's your name?" I asked her.

"Anna", she replied, making me widen my eyes surprised, and also feel sad.

It had been around three months since Anael had died. And still was there, nagging on my conscience.

"What a beautiful name, Anna. My name is Abigail, and this is Raziel", I told her.

Anna raised her eyebrows surprised.

"That's my big sister's name. But she doesn't look like you, she has red hair, like me", she told.

Was destiny screwing with everyone? I was about to reply, when the bus stopped, and we're in the city.

"We've got to go now. Nice to meet you, Anna", I told her.

"You too", she replied and waved when we got off the bus.

* * *

"There're different kinds of phones, nowadays. Much more than the last century. And you can choose which kind that fits you the best. If you want one with touchscreen, or buttons, just point and I'll fix it", I explained while Raziel was examining the phones while frowning thoughtfully.

"What do you want me to choose?" he wondered.

I sighed and shook my head.

"It's not my choice to make. You get to choose what you yourself want to have. That's what free will is, what humans have and what angels should have", I told.

Raziel nodded and continued to watch the phones. It was kind of funny. Two angels walk into a phone store… Sounded almost like a really bad joke.

"I think I prefer this one", he finally told after a few minutes of looking after a phone and held up one with touchscreen.

I nodded appreciatively and put the phone onto the desk.

"Let's see… It'll be…. Holy", the man behind the desk swore and stared at us two in shock.

"Jophiel? Raziel?"

I frowned confused while Raziel eyed the man suspiciously. How the hell did he know our names? He wasn't an angel, I would feel or see it then.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, sorry. You probably don't recognize me. The disadvantage with being trapped in a meat suit with no Grace, I guess", he said.

An angel? Here? Without Grace? Dear goodness.

"Who are you? And why aren't you an angel anymore?" I asked him.

"Malik. Your brother cut my Grace out for some years ago. Quite the dick-move, don't ya think?"

What the hell would I reply that with?

'Yeah, my brother can be a dick sometimes, I know.' That just sounded weird as hell and just… no.

"I guess", I responded instead, and paid the phone, before Raziel and I left the shop.

* * *

Angels really followed every step I took, I thought annoyed while I opened the door the the Campbell's house. And the second we came in, I knew we were in trouble. Because inside the house, stood the ophanim angel, one angel and one seraph.

"How did you find us?" I demanded while the angel blade slid down into my hand carefully.

The seraph I knew as Nathanael, stepped forward.

"We had some help with scratching off the sigils", he replied and gestured to a figure lying in the dark, with his eyes burned out.

I frowned confused, until I realized whom it was: Malik. Malik, probably killed after his services were no longer useful.

"He wanted to come back to Heaven, so that's what I did for him", Nathanael explained calmly.

Raziel glared at his former boss with anger in his eyes, while I could see him making himself ready to attack any second.

"Jophiel, you've got two choices. You already know those. Either, you can let your boy angels be welcomed back to their ranks, with a small yes. Or, I'll cut their throats out with this", he threatened and nodded to the blade.

I glanced at Raziel anxiously, but he seemed calm. Too calm, according to me. At least if he hadn't a plan. But me, I already knew the answer.

"No. And I have no idea how many times I have to say this, but no. No, no and no. I won't. And you can go and tell Michael that I will never say yes to him, or Lucifer for that part. I won't participate in his and Lucifer's little slap fight. I say it again, I, for fuck's sake, won't say yes!" I snapped.

Neither of the angels showed any sign of surprise over my small tantrum, something I was sure Michael might have warned them about.

"You made your choice, Jophiel", Nathanael replied calmly and threw a lazy look in Raziel's direction, before he attacked me myself.

I parried his blow and made a metal pipe fly into his head, making him glare at me pissed. The little time I had before defending myself, I watched Raziel fight against the ophanim and the other angel for himself. He seemed to handle it, for now. I had no had how long he could continue before the others overpowered him. Nathanael disappeared with a wingbeat, and appeared behind me, something I was aware of. Faster than any human, I spun around while trying to stab him in the chest. But I knew it wouldn't be that easy to kill a seraph, something I noticed when he blocked the hit with his arm. The blood dripped down his arm as the Grace shone inside the vessel. Close enough, for being a full-fledged seraph vs a semi Archangel. He swung at my throat while kicking my chest with enough force to break a wall. In that moment, I was really happy my angel durance had been growing the last weeks. After five curses and ten deep cuts, I punched Nathanael right in the face with all strength I had, something that made him fly into the wall and crack it.I then flew over to him, and was about to drive the blade into his heart, when he grabbed my wrist and broke it with a snap. Jolts of pain went through my body like electricity while I tried to breathe away the pain. Nathanael smirked and drove his blade into me. But not anything lethal, at least not a direct killing blow.

"Kill me!" I growled angrily while he just stared at me in victory.

"I don't think so. You fell. You need to be punished. I don't care about what Michael said. He'll be thankful when I take you to Heaven, disciplined and ready to obey", he said and snatched the blade from my hand.

I snorted at his comment, but cried out when my own blade got inside my leg and cracked the bone. Still nothing like what Thaddeus had done, I had to remind myself that. I'd rather let Nathaniel torture me for years than spend a minute with Thaddeus again. Because what he could do to inflict agony and tremendous amount of pain, no one should ever feel that. Nathaniel used the blade on me for seconds, almost like cold kisses compared to what Thaddeus had done.

"Stop!" I shouted as his hand dug inside my chest, searching for my heart with the brutality of an animal.

Everything began to blacken around me, and I knew. I was dying, I was going to die. So close… when the darkness dissolved as Raziel shoved Nathanael onto the floor.

"Go! Jophiel, go!" he shouting at me, his eyes telling me he couldn't hold the seraph any longer.

"But, what about you?" I said horrified.

"Just go!"

I nodded reluctantly and took two wingbeats, before I could see Nathanael slam an angel blade into Raziel's throat, making him glow with Grace.

"NO!" I screamed before my wings took me to Bobby's place.

I fell down on his carpet, my face streaked with blood and tears. Anna, Gabriel and now Raziel. How many more of my family would I lose?

* * *

"Someone here?" Bobby muttered, while I still laid on the floor while my wings covered me like blankets.

"Bobby", I whispered hoarsely.

He widened his eyes surprised and stared at the blood on me.

"Son of a… what the hell happened?" he demanded.

"I thought you were with that angel you knew."

I nodded slowly and pushed away a bloody piece of hair from my face, before I continued to tell him.

"Angels. They found us. Raziel…. He saved me, and got killed. Because of me. So many people have died in my family", I almost choked out while fighting against a new bunch of tears.

Bobby's face expression softened as he took my hands gently and held them.

"Abby, I don't know how it is to lose your siblings like that. Hell, I can't even imagine it. But, you gotta fight, for them. They died for a reason, don't let it be in vain now", he said.

"Now get up and shower, yer brothers will faint if they see ya."

I smiled at him faintly, before I rose completely and went to the shower, just as he'd said. He was right, they had died for a reason. And I wouldn't let it go wasted. Not this time.

 **A/N: Hi! Uh, this is to the anonymous Redzak I believe the name is: Can you tell me a way to contact you? It would be awesome to hear more about your opinions and to be able to reply. That's all**


	29. Hello, Death

"Samuel Winchester, are you freaking insane?" I exclaimed horrified.

That was it, my brother had gone nuts. Letting Lucifer inside him, to then jump into the Cage, it was 0.00001% chance. Or even less. Had he forgotten when he'd been possessed by Meg? And she was only a black eyed. Lucifer was a fucking Archangel, the second oldest too.

"Abby…" Sam began, but I silenced him with a glare.

"Shut up. Just shut up. Do you even know how insane you are? You're talking about the Devil here, not just a demon. The freaking Devil! Look, I know that you're strong, but this is a lot over your head, Sam. Don't get me wrong, but the plan sucks", I stated while Dean glanced at Bobby, whom looked quite uncomfortable.

"Did you know about Sam's genius plan to say yes to the Devil?" he questioned.

Bobby nodded slowly, making me scowl.

"Thanks, Bobby", I snapped.

"Hey, this ain't about me", Bobby protested.

"You can't do this", Dean told Sam angrily.

"That's the consensus", Sam said, making me nod.

"Good. Well, that's it", I said before my phone began to ring.

"Hello?"

"Abigail?"

I widened my eyes and stared at the phone in wonder. Cas, he was okay? He wasn't dead, at least.

"Cas? Are you okay? We all kinda thought you were dead", I said relieved and just wanted to kiss the phone.

"Is it Cas? Put on speaker", Dean ordered, which I did.

"Where the hell are you, man?" Dean asked Cas.

"A hospital", was his only reply.

Oh shit, was it his Grace?

"What happened?" I wondered.

"I just woke up here. The doctors were fairly surprised. They thought I was brain-dead. Apparently, after Van Nuys, I suddenly appeared, bloody and unconscious, on a shrimping boat off Delacroix. I'm told it upset the sailors", Cas told.

For a slight second, I got an image of the scene happening, before I pushed it away and began to concentrate on the important things here.

"Okay. We actually know how to stop the Apocalypse, in which we'll need the Horsemen's rings. We're actually going after Pestilence now. So, can you just fly here, it's at Bo—" I began before he interrupted me.

"Abigail, I can't", he said.

I frowned confused and stared at the phone. What? Already?

"So you're saying that your Grace is gone? Poof?" I wondered concerned.

"I'm saying that I am thirsty and my head aches. I have a bug bite that itches no matter how much I scratch it, and I'm saying that I'm just incredibly…."

"Human. Wow. Sorry", Dean apologized.

"Do you want me to fly over there and pick you up?" I asked.

"No. If what you're saying is true, and there's another way to stop the Devil, I don't want to waste your strength for me", he said sternly.

I was about to protest, when Dean shot me a glare.

"You're right, Cas. Look, no worries. Uh, Bobby's here. He'll wire you the cash", Dean informed, while Bobby stared at him annoyed.

"Dean. Abigail You said "no" to Michael. I owe you an apology."

"Cas… I-it's okay", Dean said, but Cas continued talking.

"You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be. And I'm sorry for believing you wouldn't be strong enough to say no to your brother."

I should feel insulted, but I didn't. If I had been in his place, I would have doubted myself too.

"Thank you. I appreciate that", Dean muttered.

"Cas, I'm supposed to apologize. I'm sorry that it was our fault that you fell. I'm sorry that I made you doubt your sacrifice. And I promise you, I won't make you doubt again. I promise", I vowed.

"I believe you, Jophiel", he told me kindly and hung up.

Such a pure being. Did I really deserve him?

* * *

We later got to the hospital, where we spent hours in trying to find the right guy with the security cameras. Apparently, Pestilence could mask his presence so I wouldn't be able to find him that easy.

"So, what are— Hey", Sam said and poked on Dean, whom had fallen asleep.

"What are we even looking for?"

I shrugged and continued to stare at the secure camera while Sam and Dean spanked around, doing nothing.

"Guys, look at this", I told and pointed at the screen.

"Oh, now we're talking", Dean said happily before we went out, and found two doctors lying dead, one covered in spots, the other in vomit.

"Found him", I mumbled and gripped my knife harder while I began to cough a bit, but not seriously.

"Goodness, he's definitely here", I said and coughed again.

"You think?" Dean said sarcastically as he and Sam looked like shit.

I really thanked that I was part angel, or else my body fluids would be around my face.

"Come on now", I urged and pulled them up, before I could feel blood come out through my eyes, nose and ears while beginning to feel tired, but it was still something I could handle.

I shoved up the door and came at the demon, whom stabbed my stomach and left the thing inside me.

"Not again", I groaned and stared at the blade in me,while she took my knife from me and shoved me against the wall, with Pestilence's telekinesis as help too.

"Jophiel. Long time no see. I think we haven't seen each since… Ever. Wow, time really flies, nowadays. Your brothers don't seem so well, do they? It might be the, uh, Scarlet fever. Or, uh, the meningitis. Oh! Or the syphilis. That's no fun. And you know the best part? What they feel right now, is nothing compared to what they will feel. Disease gets a bad rap, don't you think? For being filthy. Chaotic. Uh, but, really, t-that just describes people who get sick. Disease itself... Very...Pure...Single-minded. Bacteria have one purpose— divide and conquer", he said and buried the blade deeper and deeper, making me growl.

"That's why, in the end...It always wins. So, you've got to wonder why your daddy pours all his love into something so messy! And weak! It's ridiculous. No wonder your big brother threw that tantrum. All I can do is show him he's wrong, one epidemic at a time", he told amused.

Pestilence then turned and crushed Dean's hand under his foot while kicking away Ruby's knife.

"Now... On a scale of 1 to 10, how's your pain?"

The door suddenly opened beside me and revealed Cas.

"Cas", I said and yelped when the demon's grip around my neck grew tighter.

"How'd you get here?" Pestilence demanded.

"I took a bus. Don't worry, I—" he said and fell down on the floor, coughing up blood, just like my brothers.

"No", I whispered and tried to fly away, but somehow, I couldn't.

Had they blocked me?

"Well, look at that. An occupied vessel, but powerless. Oh, that's fascinating. There's not a speck of angel in you, is there?" he said cheerfully, kneeling so he met Cas' eyes.

From nowhere, Cas grabbed the knife, shoved up Pestilence hand on the glass table, and cut off his fingers, one of them with the ring.

"Maybe just a speck", Cas said as I kicked away the demon from me, released from the mojo.

Cas threw the knife to me, which I caught and used to kill her, just where she had stabbed me.

"Ow", I grumbled and ripped the knife out from me and dropped them on the floor.

"It doesn't matter. It's too late", Pestilence whispered and disappeared.

* * *

"Well, it's nice to actually score a home run for once, ain't it?" Bobby stated while the rest of us looked down on the floor.

What did he mean with that? A bomb with Croatoan virus? A bomb with Croatoan and all diseases? Where? When?

"What?"

"Last thing Pestilence said "it's too late."", Sam explained.

"He get specific?" he asked, making me shake my head.

"We're just a little freaked out that he might have left a bomb somewhere. So please tell us you have actual good news", Dean pleaded.

"Chicago's about to be wiped off the map. Storm of the millennium. Sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters. Three million people are gonna die", Bobby informed, something I raised my eyebrow over.

"I don't understand your definition of good news", Cas stated, making me smile slightly.

"Why're you informing us this? It isn't something we can stop", I stated.

"Well...Death, the Horseman— he's gonna be there. And if we can stop him before he kick-starts this storm, get his ring back —"

"Yeah, you make it sound so easy", Dean said with sarcasm dripping in his voice.

"Hell, I'm just trying to put a spin on it", Bobby defended himself, while I began to wonder.

How had he figured all this out? I knew he was smart, but tracking Death?

"Well...Bobby, h-how'd you put all this together, anyways?" Sam wondered, just like I had been about to ask him myself.

"I had, you know…Help", he said while looking extremely unpleasant in the situation.

Something I gave him the 'look' for.

"Bobby…"

But before I could elaborate, the sound of glass being put down was heard, making all of us turn our heads, only to see Crowley stand with some whiskey.

"Don't be so modest. I barely helped at all. Hello, boys. Angel girl. Pleasure, et cetera. Go ahead. Tell them. There's no shame in it", he told Bobby while pouring himself a glass.

I scowled and eyed Bobby suspiciously. What the hell, Bobby?…. What had he done? Please don't say what I believed he'd say…

"Tell us exactly what?" I questioned.

"World's gonna end. Seems stupid to get all precious over one little… Soul", he told while still looking extremely uncomfortable.

Like he should. He sold his freaking soul! That idiot (or idjit)! And didn't that mean that he'd kissed Crowley? Married, single, whatever, a deal was a deal and needed to be sealed by a kiss, or a very long contract.

"You sold your soul?" Dean demanded horrified.

"Oh, more like pawned it. I fully intend to give it back", Crowley corrected him.

"Well, then give it back!"

"I will."

"Now!"

"Did you kiss him?" Sam asked, making Dean glare at him.

"Really?"

"Just wondering", Sam insisted.

Sam, Dean and I all turned our heads to Bobby, who seemed to want to bury himself ten feet below the ground.

"….No!"

Crowley cleared his throat, probably wanting our attention. So I shifted and stared at his phone, which showed a picture of him and Bobby kissing.

The moment I saw that, I wasn't really sure what I would say about it. Bobby, had kissed Crowley, while Crowley had taken a photo while doing it. If it wasn't for the quite or very serious situation, I would've believed that it was hilarious. But now I just wanted to process that Bobby had sold his soul and Crowley had taken a photo. Things didn't got better when I saw my brothers' and Cas' reactions, either.

"Why did you take a picture?" Bobby questioned exasperated while Crowley smirked.

"Why did you have to use tongue?"

Okay, I didn't want hear anymore.

Bobby French kissing was just as disgusting as Dad having sex. It was just… no. It was a lot like parents doing nasty stuff. According to me, watching Gabriel without his underwear was enough, for a lifetime.

"All right. You know what? I'm sick of this. Give him his soul back now", Dean ordered while he seemed to trying to shake off that picture from his brain.

"I'm sorry. I can't", Crowley said, sounding not so sorry.

"Can't or won't?" I questioned.

"I won't, all right? It's insurance", Crowley explained.

"For what?"

"You kill demons. You're an angel, and angels and demons aren't exactly BFFs. Gigantor over there has a temper issue about it. But you won't kill me... As long as I have that soul in the deposit box", he said.

It was really smart, but not good for us. Not at all.

"You son of a bitch", Bobby snapped at him.

"I'll return it. After all this is over, and I can walk safely away. Do we all understand each other?" he exclaimed.

* * *

"Let me guess. We're about to have a talk", Dean stated.

"Look, um...For the record...I agree with you. About me. You think I'm too weak to take on Lucifer. Well, so do I. Believe me, I know exactly how screwed up I am. You, Bobby, Cas...I'm the least of any of you", Sam told.

"Sam—" I protested.

"No, it's true. It is. But...I'm also all we got. If there was another way...But I don't think there is. There's just me", he said.

I shook my head and looked at him stubbornly.

"There's still me. When I'm full-on angel, at least", I reminded him.

"Abby, no. Dealing with one Archangel is hard enough, but you'll have to deal with both of them, and you know that. Look, I don't know what else to do. Except just try t-to do what's got to be done."

I nodded slowly, until I could feel demonic presence behind me. Even if Crowley wanted the same thing, I still didn't like working with him. He was a demon, dammit. A demon, who could easily backstab us if he saw another way to survive.

"And...Scene. There's something you need to see", he said and handed me the newspaper.

"Niveus pharmaceuticals is rushing delivery of its new swine-flu vaccine to "stem the tide of the unprecedented outbreak." Shipments leave Wednesday. What good would that be?" I questioned, until I remembered what Dean and Sam had told me about their encounter with the demon Brady.

"Holy shit…." I swore.

"I'm happy angel girl gets it, while you two are lucky to have your looks. Your demon lover, Brady? V.P. of distribution, Niveus. Ah, yes, that the sound of the abacus clacking? We all caught up?"

"So, Pestilence", Dean began.

"...was spreading swine flu", Sam continued.

"And that was only the first step. The last is when the vaccine comes in the picture", I stated.

"And that vaccine is chock-full of grade-a, farm-fresh croatoan virus", Crowley finished.

I shivered slightly and recalled the 2014-universe, how savage those things had been. And then… imagine the whole world, just like that.

"Simultaneous, countrywide distribution. It's quite a plan", Sam admitted.

"They don't get to be Horsemen for nothing. So, you guys better stock up on...Well, everything. This time next Thursday, we'll all be living in zombieland", Crowley joked.

I rolled my eyes and left to pack whatever could be useful to harm Death, or even kill him. Kill Death, yeah right… Binding spells and his own Scythe were the only thing I could think about. But Death was already bound to Lucifer, probably. And Death's own scythe wouldn't be easy to find exactly. But hey! Fought Dad's big sister. How much harder could Death be?

* * *

"I think I will have to go with Dean, snatching the ring from Death, you know. It's weird, I'm going to see him the next twenty-four hours, or less, when I haven't seen him in thousands of years", I said to Cas as we lay in the bed together.

He nodded and planted a kiss on my head, his arms wrapped around my waist as I rested my head on his firm chest.

"It may be impossible, Abigail. Death is one of the most powerful and oldest beings in the whole existence. For him, we are less than bacteria. Or at least, that is what he probably believes about humans", he said.

I shifted so my cheek was against his chest while my wings were lying at us like six feathery blankets. But Cas… his wings, they looked so fragile, like a dying bird's. That frightened me. He was as good as mortal, but he wasn't human, not completely. So if he died… he wouldn't go to Heaven, or Hell, where I at least could see him. He'd be gone, forever.

"Dean told me about that you were saved by Raziel. But he didn't tell me where he's now", he stated.

Remorse gnawed in my gut while I could see him, that blade in his throat, just so I could flee.

"Raziel… He's, he's dead. Nathanael killed him. It feel just like when Anael died all over again", I told him bitterly.

"I just want this to be over. Everything."

* * *

Weapons list against Death….. Nothing. Only a semi-angel and a Winchester. It could work…. if Death had been 99.99999% powerless at least.

"Good luck with stopping the zombie Apocalypse, I guess", I said to Sam.

"Yeah. Good luck killing Death", Sam replied as I snorted amused.

"Yeah, thanks", Dean replied and gave him a small grin.

"Remember when we used to just... hunt wendigos? How simple things were?" Sam wondered.

Five years ago. Five years ago, Dean and I had fetched Sam from Standford, told him that Dad had been missing. Everything had been so much not complicated then. And now? Stopping the Apocalypse, killing Death.

"Not really", was Dean's reply.

" Well, um… You might need this", Sam told and handed him Ruby's knife.

"Keep it. They're covered", Crowley stated and held up a scythe, Death's scythe in miniature form at least.

I widened my eyes and stared at it with surprise. Okay, where the hell had he gotten that one? Shouldn't Death have noticed it was gone? And retrieved it?

"Death's own. Kills, golly, demons and angels and reapers and, rumor has it, the very thing itself", Crowley explained.

"How did you get that?" Cas questioned.

"Hello— King of the Crossroads. So, shall we? Bobby, you just gonna sit there?" he asked him.

"No, I'm gonna riverdance", Bobby said sarcastically.

"I suppose if you want to impress the ladies. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Really wasted that crossroads deal. Fact— you get more if you phrase it properly. So, I took the liberty of adding a teeny little sub-a clause on your behalf. What can I say? I'm an altruist. Just gonna sit there?"

We all stared at Bobby, who was looking at his foot, which moved. And the other too. When Bobby then rose, a huge bomb of happiness exploded in me. I had seen how much it had pained him with being stuck in that wheelchair. Especially during the witch case. But now, he could walk again. Should I be thankful? It was Crowley, after all.

"Son of a bitch", Bobby whispered amazed at stared at himself while I smiled.

"Yes, I know. Completely worth your soul. I'm a hell of a guy."

"Thanks", Bobby thanked him.

"This is getting maudlin. Can we go?" Crowley questioned and began to walk to the Impala.

I smiled at Bobby again, before I went to Cas and kissed him softly. His arms were wrapped around my waist in a gentle embrace, something I loved with kissing him.

"Be careful now", I whispered against his lips and gave him a small peck.

"I will. You too", he replied and pushed away hair from my face.

"Hurry up! I'm starting to age over here!" Crowley shouted over to us.

Dean scowled annoyed, but walked to him as Cas and I let go off each other. We'd see each other, definitely.

* * *

"So, you and Mr. Wings?" Crowley asked after some hours of driving.

"Bit late there, Gossip Girl", I muttered and leaned back.

"Thought the King of the Crossroads would snap up the news quicker."

"I do, but sometimes, I just don't care if two feathery ones are a thing. More of the type who concentrates on more important business", he replied.

"It was you who asked."

"Here I am, driving with a pair of ancient beings who are acting like two five year olds", Dean grumbled beside me, but the corners of his mouth said otherwise.

"Better yapping at each other than strangling", I reminded him and smirked.

"Guess you're right there, Abby", he responded and shrugged lightly.

"Any idea how to ice Death? I mean, he's freaking Death. He's gotta be smarter than his yahoos to brothers."

I shook my head and put my hands over my face in exhaustion before letting out a big yawn.

"Just swing at him, I guess. That's all I can think about", I stated and stretched out my wings as far as I could, Dean wouldn't see them anyway.

"Just wake me up when you want to switch."

* * *

Luckily, for me, no brother visited my dreams, so I could sleep dreamlessly this time, until we stopped by a building in Chicago, where it was full of reapers. Like, everywhere.

"Hey, let's stop for pizza", Crowley suggested while we walked outside towards the huge building, which I guessed Death was.

But shouldn't Death be radiating power? Or was he just masking it?

"Are you kidding?" Dean said and looked at him annoyed.

"Just heard it was good. That's all. Up ahead. Big, ugly building. Ground zero. Horseman's stable, if you will. He's in there", he stated while I eyed all the reapers, just standing there, like they awaited an order from their boss.

"How do you know?"

"Have you met me? 'cause I know. Also, the block is squirming with reapers", Crowley told Dean.

"He's right, full of reapers here. But shouldn't we feel him? Death?" I questioned, something Crowley shrugged at.

"Dunno. Only one way to find out", was his reply before he teleported away.

After a second of waiting, he popped in again, looking troubled.

"Boy, is my face red. Death's not in there", he said.

I glared at him angrily while looking back at the building. So Bobby sold his fucking soul, for this?

"Bobby sold his soul for this, and where you said Death was, wasn't where he is! You better know another place where he might be", I growled at him.

"Relax. All deals are soul back or store credit. We'll catch Death in the next doomed city", Crowley reassured me calmly.

Like it would help.

"Millions, Crowley. Millions of people are about to die any minute", Dean snapped.

"True. So I strongly suggest we get out of here."

* * *

"So, what? Call in a bomb threat? 1,000 bomb threats? I mean, how the hell are we supposed to get three million people out of Chicago in the next 10 minutes? Any bright ideas?" Dean asked in the car, until Crowley disappeared, again.

"Really? Pizza?" I exclaimed and stared at him outside, who seemed to be looking inside the pizza restaurant.

It was then it hit me, the supernovas of ancient power, hanging in the air, the power of Death.

"Dear goodness", I swore and zapped outside and took a small look through the window.

Death, he was in there, eating pizza and drinking soda. During my entire life, I had never thought the Grim Reaper would eat junk food.

"Holy crap", I muttered before flying back to the car.

"What did he say?" Dean asked suddenly, like he hadn't noticed me flying away.

"I didn't hear, but—"

"I said I found him. Death— he's in there", Crowley interrupted after teleporting back to the Impala.

"You coming or… Not", Dean said before Crowley had run away.

Coward.

"Let's do it", I said and teleported him inside the restaurant, where the staff and the customers laid dead on the floor or in the booths.

I took the other way while Dean went right, so he would be as distracted as you could distract Death, as he would kill Death and take his ring. The plan was shit. Especially when the Scythe began to vibrate and heat up in Dean's hand, something I hadn't expected. He suddenly dropped the thing, and I felt completely screwed. Death would could kill us, end of the story. And probably with the Scythe we had tried to kill him with.

"Thanks for returning that. Join me, Dean. The pizza's delicious", Death offered politely while I carefully went beside them and stood there like a stiff stick.

"Sit down. Took you long enough to find me. I've been wanting to talk to you", he continued.

"I got to say— I have mixed feelings about that. S-so is this the part where...where you kill us?" Dean questioned.

"You have an inflated sense of your importance. To a thing like me, a thing like you, well...Think how you'd feel if a bacterium sat at your table and started to get snarky. This is one little planet in one tiny solar system in a galaxy that's barely out of its diapers. If you would compare your sister with me, then she is a little brat. I'm old, Dean. Very old. So I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find you", Death stated and put a slice of pizza on Dean's plate.

"Eat."

All of my willpower was concentrated on two things, keep watching Dean and not begin to crumble in front of one of my Father's oldest companions.

"Good, isn't it?" he asked Dean, who had put a piece of pizza in his mouth with more etiquette than I had known Dean was aware of.

"Well, I got to ask. How old are you?"

"As old as God. Maybe older. Neither of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless— at the end, I'll reap him, too", Death stated.

I raised my eyebrow in surprise. He'd reap Dad?

"You'll reap God? Father?" I wondered.

"Oh yes. Your father will die too, Jophiel."

"Why? Why still letting us live? I thought you disliked all of us. You have never like angels", I stated and remembered the look on Death's face when Dad had created us.

But he also should be damn thankful. If I remembered right, he hadn't done a thing against the Darkness while we and Dad had fought our asses off to lock her away, even if that hadn't been one of my most prideful moments exactly.

"I can snuff you out like a candle, Jophiel. So I suggest you keep your thoughts a little more to yourself", Death said with a slight annoyance in his voice, making me trying to quiet down what I thought.

"But what I want is the leash around my neck— off. Lucifer has me bound to him. Some unseemly little spell. He has me where he wants, when he wants. That's why I couldn't go to you. I had to wait for you to catch up. He made me his weapon. Hurricanes, floods, raising the dead. I'm more powerful than you can process, and I'm enslaved to a bratty child with a temper tantrum."

Well, that's another way with describing my brother.

"And you think...I can unbind you? Or Abby?" he wondered.

"There's your ridiculous bravado again. Of course you can't. But you can help me take the bullets out of Lucifer's gun. I understand you want this", Death stated and held up his hand, revealing his ring.

"Yeah."

"I'm inclined to give it to you", he told Dean.

"To give it to me?"

"That's what I said", Death said irritated.

"But how about Chicago?" I questioned.

"I suppose it can stay. I like the pizza. There are conditions", he explained.

"Okay. Like?" Dean wondered.

"You have to do whatever it takes to put Lucifer in his cell."

"Of course", Dean and I said on the same time.

"Whatever it takes."

"That's the plan", Dean told.

"No. No plan. Not yet. Your brother. He's the one that can stop Lucifer. The only one."

I widened my eyes but didn't say what I believed. Not yet.

"So, you're saying that—" I began.

"I know. So, I need a promise. You're going to let your brother jump right into that fiery pit. Well, do I have your word, Dean?"

There was silence instead of words. Even if I couldn't read minds, Dean's expression was all I needed to understand what he was thinking. Could I blame him? No. His answer would either save the world, on Sam's behalf, or the other way round.

"Okay, yeah. Yes."

"That had better be 'yes', Dean. You know you can't cheat death. Now, would you like the instruction manual?"

While watching Death telling Dean how to use the rings, panic began to for in my gut. How the hell would Sam survive in the Cage, forever?

* * *

"You have no idea how freaked out I am about this", I stated while pacing back and forth in Bobby's living room.

"Being trapped in Hell is one thing, and it's like your worst nightmares, over and over again. But that's only the first circle. Imagine Sam, a human, in the same cell as Lucifer, the Archangel, who probably will be angry as fuck if Sam succeeds. He'd have to suffer torture no one would ever dream about, forever. And forever is a damn long time, especially in Hell. But I'm not saying that I'd want the fate for Lucifer. Believe me, I don't want any of my brothers down there. But I have already tried to reason with him. Hell, I've even tried to reason with Michael, but both of them are stubborn to the bone and none of them will back down. Ugh!" I exclaimed and fell down in the couch in frustration.

"Why does everything have to be so damn hard?"

Cas sighed and sat down beside me.

"I have no idea what you've to do. All I know is that Sam is the only hope to stop this, all of this. And you are very much aware that Dean already has promised him already. You can't cheat Death, Abigail", he reminded me as I began to snuggle up against his chest.

"I know. I just wish there was some other way, that's all", I mumbled.

"What happened when you were in Heaven? Sam told me that it wasn't his place to tell me. Abigail, what did they do?" Cas wondered, making my gut turn upside down.

Gadreel's screams, Thaddeus, blood and flowing Grace, it was still there in me, crystal clear.

"They sent me to the Dungeon", I began.

"I met Gadreel—the first angel I raised— and then Thaddeus… I let him torture me as much as he wanted, I just wanted Gadreel to get away from it, if just for some minutes."

I kept the 'other' Thaddeus to myself, he didn't need to hear it. Cas widened his eyes and pushed away my hair, his face expression terrible to watch.

"Abigail…" Cas whispered.

"You shouldn't have done it."

I shook my head slowly. I had deserved it, for everything. Angels got tortured to repay their sins, I was no different.

"I needed to do it, Cas. I wasn't a good angel. What fate I left Gadreel to… I just hope that I can do what has to be done now."

With that, I realized one thing: I had to let Sam say yes.


	30. Finale

I have to let him do it, it's what he wants and it's needed, I thought while walking to the Impala and Sam who was drinking a beer. Seeing his thoughtful expression, I knew he was thinking about Lucifer and everything with the Apocalypse.

"Hey", Sam greeted me before looking at the person behind me, whom I was quite sure was Dean.

"Hiya", I replied and handed Dean a beer before grabbing one myself.

He has to, I'll have to let him do it…

"You okay?" Sam wondered.

"I'm in", Dean and I said in unison.

"In with…?" he asked us confused.

"With the whole letting Lucifer possessing you-thing. We're in", I stated.

"You're gonna let me say yes?"

"No. That's the thing. It's not on me or Abby to let you do anything. You're a grown— well, overgrown— man. If this is what you want, We'll back your play", Dean said.

"Thank you", Sam said relieved.

I turned and looked at Sam, who seemed troubled with something. Perhaps the fact that he'd doom himself to an eternity of misery and hell, literally.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Sammy?" I wondered, making him sigh softly.

"I let him out. I got to put him back in."

* * *

"Aw. Ain't he a little angel?" Dean joked while I stroke Cas' hair as he slept, snoring slightly. Something I would have found cute, if I hadn't been so worried that he might not adapt to becoming human, without a soul to move on with.

"Dean, we don't sleep. Angels don't sleep", I said slowly.

Me? I didn't feel tired. Instead, I felt stronger and stronger for every minute. And that scared me. Because I knew that It would be near if my powers began to come back so quickly.

"Will he be okay?" Dean asked.

"As a human, yes. As an angel, no. Almost all of his Grace has faded away. He's human, kind of", I explained and let his head rest on my shoulder.

"Sam, I got a bad feeling about this", Dean stated.

"Well, you'd be nuts to have a good feeling about it", Sam replied.

"You know what I mean. Detroit. He always said he'd jump your bones in Detroit. Here we are."

"Here we are", I echoed.

"Maybe this is him rolling out the red carpet, you know? Maybe he knows something that we don't", Dean continued.

"Dean, he knows a hell lot more than we do. But we gotta hope he doesn't know about the rings. It's our only chance", I said.

We were silent for a moment, everyone just thinking. What if he did know about the rings? What the hell would we do then? Smile embarrassed and run for heaven's sake?

"Hey, um... on the subject, there's something I got to talk to you about", Sam suddenly said after our quiet moment.

"What is it?" I wondered.

"This thing goes our way and I...Triple Lindy into that box... y-you know I'm not coming back", he began.

"Yeah, we're aware", Dean said for both of us.

"So you got to promise me something. Both of you."

"Yeah, of course. Anything", I promised.

It was obvious. If my brother wanted something as his dying wish, I would do it.

"Yeah", Dean agreed.

"You got to promise not to try to bring me back", Sam told, making me almost lean forward in horrification. But I didn't since Cas was still asleep.

"What? No, I didn't sign up for that", Dean protested.

"This is nuts, Sam!" I exclaimed.

"Guys—"

"Your Hell is gonna make our tour look like Graceland. You want us just to sit by and do nothing?" Dean questioned upset.

"Once the Cage is shut, you can't go poking at it. It's too risky", Sam stated.

"You're out of your mind, Sam. Do you think we're gonna let you rot in that thing?" I said frustrated and freaked out.

"Yes, you are. You don't have a choice."

"You can't ask us to do this", Dean said.

"I'm sorry, Dean. You have to", Sam replied.

"So then what are we supposed to do?"

"You go find Lisa. You pray to god she's dumb enough to take you in, and you— you have barbecues and go to football games. Abby, I don't know, live with Cas in some house with white fence or something. Just go live some normal, apple-pie life, Dean, Abby. Promise me."

* * *

"Demons. At least two dozen of them. You were right— something's up", Bobby told us after having watched the building.

"It's not just something, he's here. I can feel it", I said slowly while feeling angelic presence in there.

I leaned back against Cas's frame while watching Sam and Bobby say goodbye to each other— maybe forever. Or perhaps there would be a way to only release one person…

"Take care of these guys, okay?" Sam said and held out his hand to Cas.

"That's not possible", Cas stated and grasped it.

Sam took on a weird face expression that gave me the feeling of a 'really?'-face.

"Then humor me."

"Oh. I was supposed to lie. Uh... Sure. They'll be fine", Cas lied and winked at him like the worst liar in history, making me almost roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Just— just stop... talking", Sam said and went to the trunk full of the jugs with demon blood.

I sighed before swiping my hands over my face, not of exhaustion, but worry.

"He'll make it, Abigail", Cas murmured in my ear.

"That's what I'm scared of", was my reply.

Some minutes later, I could hear Sam close the trunk, which made me follow him wearily. This was it.

"All right! We're here, you sons of bitches! Come and get it!" he shouted to the demons.

Sam's shouting made three demons dressed in suits walk down to meet us. I wasn't so used with demons in suits, only angels. Preparing for the dance probably.

"Sup. Is my bro home?" I said and smirked, putting on my Winchester mask.

A few seconds later, the demons dragged us up to a room before releasing us. And in that room, guess who stood there?

"Hey, guys. So nice of you to drop in", Lucifer said while still looking through the window.

Awkward family reunion number two, I thought as Lucifer froze the window by breathing on it, before drawing a pitchfork. A part of me wanted Lucifer down in the Cage because our brother, but the other part of me screamed that it was wrong and that he still was my brother, whom I still loved even after everything that had happened. So it ended with that I ignored my voices.

"Sorry if it's a bit chilly. Most people think I burn hot. It's actually quite the opposite", Lucifer told my brothers while still doodling on the window.

By saying that, I immediately glanced at his icy wings.

"Well, I'll alert the media", Dean muttered, making me roll my eyes.

Lucifer turned to take some steps closer toward us. It was then I really could see how much damaged his vessel had endured. The second he would leave him, Nick would die, definitely.

"Help me understand something, guys. I mean, stomping through my front door is... a tad suicidal, don't you think?" he wondered.

"We're not here to fight you", Sam stated.

"No? Then why are you?" Lucifer asked, but didn't seemed to be surprised at all.

Shit.

"I want to say 'yes.'"

"Excuse me?"

Sam closed his eyes and seemed to concentrate. A second later, the three demons were lying dead on the floor.

"Chock-full of Ovaltine, are we?" Lucifer noticed.

"You heard me. Yes."

"You're serious", Lucifer stated.

"Look, Judgment Day's a runaway train. We get it now. We just want off", Sam lied.

"Meaning?"

"Deal of the century. I give you a free ride, but when it's all over, I live, they live, you bring our parents back—"

"Okay, can we please drop the telenovela? I know you have the rings, Sam", Lucifer revealed, making everyone go quiet.

We're screwed. On higher level than we ever had had screwed on.

"I have no idea what you're talking about", Sam lied after a too long silence.

"The Horsemen's rings? The magic keys to my Cage? Ring a bell? Come on, Sam. I've never lied to you. You could at least pay me the same respect. It's okay. I'm not mad. A wrestling match inside your noggin... I like the idea. Just you and me, one round, no tricks. You win, you jump in the hole. I win... Well, then I win. What do you say, Sam? A fiddle of gold against your soul says I'm better than you", Lucifer taunted.

"So he knows. Doesn't change anything", Sam mumbled.

I widened my eyes and stared at him terrified.

"Sam."

"We don't have any other choice", Sam argued.

"No", Dean and I exclaimed one the same time.

Sam steeled himself before I heard the word I had dreaded to hear:

"Yes."

Lucifer nodded while smirking slightly. Then pure white light appeared as he went out from his old vessel (whom fell down on the floor dead), and in inside Sam's body. Sam slumped down to the floor, in where I instantly went down on my knees to check if he was okay. Grace pumped in him while I could feel Lucifer inside him, plus the wings did the work too. But vessels could still have the wings even if they were in control, right? I thought while the panic rose in me.

"Dean. The rings", I told him quickly.

He nodded slowly and took out the Horsemen's rings, threw them on the wall before saying the incantation Death had learned him (Open the mouth of the cave to the wicked one). From nothing, a large hole was created from an invisible force, revealing a deep nothing, which I knew was the entrance to the Cage.

"Sammy!" I exclaimed and helped him up as he groaned on pain.

"Abby! Dean! I can feel him. Oh god!" he groaned.

"You got to go now! Come on! Go now, Sammy. Now!" Dean shouted at him.

For a second, he did nothing. But then, Sam— no, Lucifer— turned and smiled slightly.

"I was just messing with you. Sammy's long gone", he stated before he closed the hole.

He then walked to the wall and snatched the rings off the wall. The only thing Dean and I could do was watching and trying to hold back the tears.

"I told you... this would always happen in Detroit", he said calmly.

"Are you sure you don't want to go with me, Jophiel?"

I took a deep breath, trying to not show anymore weakness than I had before I shook my head.

"No."

For a split second, I could see genuine hurt on his face, before he spread his wings and disappeared.

* * *

"Reports are flooding in— a 7.6 earthquake in Portland, 8.1 in Boston, more in Hong Kong, Berlin, and Tehran. The U.S.G.S. has no explanation but says to expect a six-figure death toll", they informed on the news.

"It's starting", Cas stated,

"Yeah, you think, genius?" Dean snapped, making me glare at him.

"You don't have to be mean", I said.

"So what do we do now?" Dean questioned, directing it to me and Cas.

Just in that second, I saw everything with precision, like someone had given me lenses for maximum maximum strength. Everything was magnified. My body radiated with power, power I hadn't felt in almost three decades, but it felt natural, like it hadn't been gone at all. When I looked down on myself, I could see my true form as easily as it had been to see normally.

I was restored.

I was 100% Archangel now.

And what had Gabriel said? You've got kind of zero shot in killing Lucifer. It didn't mean it was impossible, I could do it. Even if Lucifer and Michael were stronger than me, they wouldn't be able to snap their fingers and blow me apart like a balloon. They would have to fight me if they would want kill me.

"I'll fight them", I said while instantly locating where my Archangel blade had crashed when I had fallen.

"It's our best and only shot, I guess."

Dean, Bobby and Cas stared at me in perplexed like they believed I had gone nuts.

"Abby, you're talking about fighting Michael and Lucifer. You're not full—" Dean began.

"Yeah, I just did", I told him slowly.

He widened his eyes before I hugged him. Archangel or not, he still was my older brother, the one who had carried me and Sam out from our house. And it would always be so.

"See ya Dean-o, I love you big bro. Say hi to Lisa and Ben from me", I mumbled before I let go and hugged Bobby too, while feeling tears rising again.

"Blood or not, you're my father and nothing will change that", I told.

"Be careful, kid", he told me as I took some steps closer to Cas.

I blinked away the water from my eyes before I noticed tears forming in Cas' blue eyes before rolling down.

"Don't cry", I whispered and used my thumbs to wipe them away.

"I love you, Castiel. Remember that, okay?"

I leaned in and kissed him slowly, feeling salt on his lips. Everything in me sparked All I wanted was the whole thing gone and my family together, being happy. For a split second, I envied fairytales, where the story ended with the princess and the prince kissing and living happily ever after, probably with their family, too. But this was real, and there'd be a battle to fight. I reluctantly broke off, staring lovingly at Cas and what was left of my family, before I flied away.

* * *

Lawrence, so fitting, I thought the second I appeared in Stull cemetery, where Michael and Lucifer already were.

"Jophiel, you've come", Michael stated.

I nodded slowly, twirling the blade in my hand. Of all the places, the blade had to be outside of Kansas. Peachy.

"I see you guys already have fought a bit, but only in words", I noticed by the tension between them.

"Why are you here, sister? Didn't you tell me a couple of days ago that you wouldn't participate?" Michael questioned.

I shrugged slightly.

"That was before Lucifer jumped into my twin's bones. What other choice do I have then? Neither of you will stop. Because both of you are too stubborn to back down in this stupid fight, so as the youngest in the family, it's my responsibility to prevent you two from fighting your asses off and exploding the planet."

Michael frowned annoyed.

"So you'll kill both of us now. What logic is that? Both of us are here to kill Lucifer, so why not let me do it then?"

I sighed irritated. Had he already forgotten our conversation back in 1978? It had only been like, 32 years ago or something like that.

"Don't remember, Michael? The fight between you two will scorch away almost all life. And believe me brother, the last thing I want is to end your lives, we've already lost too many of our siblings", I said softly and held down the tears while thinking of Gabriel, Anael and Raziel.

Lucifer quickly looked away from my gaze and directed his eyes down on the ground while balling his fist with a hurt look on his face. I wasn't sure whom would forgive Lucifer first: me or himself.

"Please, I beg you both, don't do this. We're family, we shouldn't fight. This is wrong ", I continued pleadingly.

Michael's face was like a stone's, but since I had known him for ages, I noticed sadness flicker for a slight second.

"Enough. You know I don't want to hurt you, Jophiel— even less kill you. But I will do it if that is necessary. Step away, or fight with me, sister. This is your last chance. Please", Michael begged while Lucifer shot me a sad look.

I swallowed before I shook my head for the millionth time.

"No, I won't do either, and you know that", I replied held up the Archangel blade, ready to attack.

We started to circle one another, with all of us keeping an eye at one other. The prophesy had kind of been right, I had sided with a side, having to kill a brother. Just not the way they had prophesied it.

"I'm sorry", I apologized lowly and was about to make a move, when I could hear the sound of an engine.

And not just an engine. I had been living in that car for my whole human life, recognizing it was easy. Especially since 'Rock of Ages' was playing loudly too. I turned and looked at the Impala driving up to us, the song playing louder and louder. And I had no idea if I wanted to kiss my brother, or hit him in the head with the hilt of my blade.

"The hell, Dean?" I muttered to myself as he stepped out of the car while Lucifer and Michael glared at him.

"Howdy, guys", Dean greeted us and began to lean against the Impala, with my two eve older brothers looking at him coldly.

"Sorry. Am I interrupting something?"

Just a bit, I thought, as Dean got inside the car and turned off the tape deck before he closed the door, walking toward Lucifer.

"Hey. We need to talk", he told him.

Lucifer glanced at me and Michael, and looked back at Dean, smirking superiorly.

"Dean. Even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid", he stated.

"I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Sam", Dean replied.

"You're no longer the vessel, Dean. You got no right to be here", Michael accused.

"Adam, if you're in there somewhere, I am so sorry", Dean apologized genuinely.

"Adam isn't home right now", was Michael's reply.

"Well, then you're next on my list, buttercup. But right now, I need five minutes with him", Dean stated.

"You little maggot", Michael growled, taking steps toward Dean.

"You're no longer a part of this story!"

"Hey!" an also familiar voice called.

I widened my eyes and looked at Bobby and Cas, who was holding a Molotov cocktail, making me wonder what the hell they planned.

"Assbutt!"

That was the new insulting word for the year. Cas then threw the cocktail at Michael, something that made him burn by the holy fire, which probably came from the bottle. Which didn't kill him, of course, but made him scream in pain. I took a step back while watching my oldest oldest brother getting barbecued, before he disappeared in a burst of flames.

"Assbutt?" I said confused and stared at Cas, who looked like he had no idea where that insult had come from.

"He'll be back— and upset— but you got your five minutes", Cas said and directed that to Dean.

"Castiel", Lucifer said slowly, and furiously.

"Did you just Molotov my brother with holy fire?"

Castiel smiled slightly horrified while staking some steps back.

"Uh…no", he said, something that would have made me laugh, if it hadn't been Lucifer.

"No one dicks with Michael but me", he stated.

I glanced at Cas worriedly, but it was too late. Lucifer snapped his fingers and made Cas explode in his own blood.

As I watched it, not a sound came out. Nothing. Or yes, something, the sound of my scream. But it wasn't human no, it was the sound of my true voice, which made my brother cover his ears in pain. Castiel was dead, he really was dead. I closed my eyes with tears running down, agony clawing at my Grace and being. Cas, my Castiel was gone, forever. I would never see him again. He was gone.

" _How many of us are you going to kill, brother?_ " I screamed in Enochian before falling down on my knees.

Lucifer glanced at me sadly, before he spoke. Not in words, but in my head. A private angel radio between us.

 _I'm sorry, little sister._

"Sammy, can you hear me?" Dean asked hopefully and looked at Lucifer, whom looked down at him (literally and metaphorically).

"You know... I tried to be nice... for Sammy's and Jophiel's sake. But you... are such a pain... in my ass", he said before he threw Dean onto the Impala.

"No!"

I rushed to Dean's side, holding the blade between him and Lucifer.

"Don't", I warned.

"Step away, Jophiel", he growled.

I almost flinched at his harshness in his words, but stopped myself. I wasn't human anymore, I had to be strong. Couldn't wail because my brother got slightly pissed. Especially not after the blood on his hands. Gabriel and Castiel's blood.

"No", I replied coldly.

Quicker than I could react, he grabbed my wrist and used it to stab myself in the stomach. Not somewhere I could die, but still being weak.

"I told you to step away, sister", he muttered and flung me away my neck, making me crash on the ground, the blade still in my body. The last time I had been attacked and wounded by a blade had been up in Heaven, with a normal angel blade. I would definitely traded that feeling with being an angel, with an Archangel blade protruding from my stomach.

Grace shone slightly as I raised my hand weakly and tried to yank out the blade, just when I heard something snap near me.

"NO!"

Bobby's neck snapped like a twig, before he fell down like a marionette, which someone had cut off the strings of.

Cas, Bobby, they were gone. And I knew Dean wouldn't be alive after Lucifer was done with him. And me? All I could do was watching my brother beat my brother into a bloody pulp. I had never felt so weak and helpless in my whole life, and I was an Archangel. So fucking ironic…

"Sam, it's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here. I'm not gonna leave you. I'm not gonna leave you!" Dean exclaimed, his face beaten into a bloody pulp when Lucifer drew back his fist, preparing for a new punch, when something stopped him.

I had no idea how it went down, how Sammy regained control over his body again, but he did. I took a deep breath, and pulled out the blade with so much force I yelled loudly, before I dropped it on the ground and felt the wound closing as I slowly walked to my brothers.

"It's okay. It's gonna be okay. I've got him", Sam whispered before he took out the rings and tossed it on the ground.

 _Open the mouth of the cave to the wicked one._

And with that, the ground opened up, just like back in Detroit. This time, he wouldn't fail. He would sacrifice himself for the sake of the world. Even if I was feeling miserable about it, I was damn proud to have him as my twin.

"Sam! It's not gonna end this way! Step back!" Michael (whom had come back) ordered.

"You're gonna have to make me!" Sam shouted back at him.

"I have to fight my brother, Sam! Here and now! It's my destiny!"

Sam looked at Dean and I, before he held out his arms and let himself fall down into the chasm. Michael lunged at him and grabbed his shirt while trying to pull him up. And I could see it, he would succeed doing it, if someone didn't stop him. It was the only way… And after what I had done under my years. I just wanted to do some good, one last time.

"I'm sorry, Dean", I called painfully, before I collected all my strength, and threw myself at Michael, making him lose his balance and fall.

I looked up in the sky and smiled sadly.

And then everything went dark.

 **A/N: Hi guys! This is the last chapter and I just wanted to thank y'all for reading, following, favoriting and reviewing this story. I can't even describe how thankful and happy I am. And I'm sorry to say this, but I'm not sure if I'll do a sequel or not. But again, I love you.**

 **A/N Update: The** **sequel** **is out now!**


	31. Sneak peak-ish and AN

A/N: Okay, here's the thing: I'm gonna pick up the story and write again. But it'll take awhile for me to prepare and think and all that crap. But here's small pieces of the story that I've managed to get down. But just so you know, these lines and pieces are not in that order, and perhaps won't even survive the publishing.

And I just want to say thank you for pushing me to write a sequel, it feels good to write about Abigail again

* * *

Michael, not Dad, not John, my brother Michael, no one else.

"Do you really think He wanted His greatest creation to suffer under obedience, the lack of Free Will? Brother, I'm basically doing what He asked us to do, love humanity. But I didn't only do it because He asked us. Humanity is beautiful and far more better than us."

"You're going to stand there for the rest of eternity?"

Michael set his now flaming eyes on Lucifer, before the most unsurprising thing happened; he punched him in the face.

His face and his hands were filled with cracks of Grace as more and more of the skin simply dissolved into light.

"I thought you were smart, Lailah."


End file.
